Note: This is the first installment I've made into this in two years, and I've decided that I may as well post it, it may go on and on forever, so there's no point in waiting. Anyways, enjoy! (Is this a noticeably different flavor, or what?)
Warnings: Non/con, violence, profanity, my normal shit. Oh, and madness too J
The walls were crowding in around me. I squeezed my eyes shut, and pressed my weights, growling; daring the walls to come after me. When I opened y eyes again, there was no room left, my barbell the width of the entire world.
I threw it.
Jumping to my feet, I smashed my head into the brick walls, and slammed into them with all the force I could manage. Rage shot up my spine and screeched from my mouth, and all of a sudden I could taste the blood from breaking my nose against the wall.
Bricks shattered.
I wondered who was screaming for about two minutes before I realized it was myself I was hearing. The walls were broken, holes through them, and the windows were smashed. In the sudden silence I heard the blood pounding in my ears, and my ragged panting and choked sobbing.
I had to kill something. I had to taste blood. How could they keep me trapped in this place with no human contact? They gassed me at night to make me sleep, and that was when they'd leave food and take my messes. In my dreams it was always the same boy, a little younger than I was, who would tell me how my new weapons worked. When I'd wake, sure as shit, there they would be, new guns and ammo, knives and grenades. It was weird, but it was just the way things had been for as long as I could remember.
The kept me alive to kill, but left me in this hole to rot.
"Who are you, you blue haired bastard?" I screamed at the walls, and leaned into them. "You pussy! Knock me out every goddamn night, and creep into my head! You fucking faggot fairy sonofabitch! Come in here now, I dare you! Come in here and tell me why I'm here! Fuck you, you fucking pussy!" I gave up, my strength gone, and slumped to the floor.
A knife and a spilled box of bullets lay before me, and before I knew it, my hands held both. I cut a cross into each bullet, as methodically as I had as long as I'd been here, my breaths calming more and more.
The rage I'd felt had more or less seeped away, until I heard a key in my door, and the dry hinge it swung upon. This was the first time I'd ever heard the door, the fist time I believed the door actually led to something other than oblivion.
I jumped to my feet, slammed a clip into my gun, spun around and grabbed my jailer by his throat, smashing him into the wall. It was him alright, that mouthy little blue haired fuck. The only face I'd seen in nine years, that haunted all my dreams, and lingered in my personal fantasies, was now here, under my control.
He was completely calm as I held the gun in his face, so I took my hand off his throat. I had spent a very long time imagining what I would do to him if I ever got the chance, and here it was. I set the barrel of my gun softly beside his nose, and pushed my free hand down his pants. I became instantly hard and began grinding against him.
All said, it was probably twenty seconds that he let me do this, before my arm suddenly grew stiff and turned towards me, and I stared down the barrel of my own gun. "What is this, what the hell is going on?"
My other hand had become fully limp, and pulled itself away from him. He stepped back, a gleeful smile on his face, and my hand gripped my hard on, ripping at it, forcing me to fall to my knees. I tried to scream, and was paralyzed, unable to even open my mouth. He laughed.
"You had some questions, I believe. I am Legato Bluesummers, and you are here to serve my Master." He paused, and stared at me very hard for a second, his golden eye glinting predatorily in the dark room. His face softened, and he continued. "As I'm sure you recall, you were sold to us for a very small sum. I've been instructing you for nine years now, so that you'll become an adept mercenary."
I was openly weeping as I stared down the barrel of my gun, my other hand attacking my groin, with the ferocity of a starved rat. The pain and pressure in my gut wanted to curl me into a ball, but my body refused me, and Legato Bluesummers laughed.
"You dared me to come in here, didn't you? Not what you expected, I see. Well," he knelt down beside me, "you're certainly disappointing, aren't you?"
"Why are you doing this to me?" I pleaded as my hand still grasped against my painfully swollen and potentially permanently damaged dick.
"Don't act so innocent. You wanted to hurt me, didn't you? You think I'd just come in here and let you rape me?" He laughed again, throwing his head back. "Not a chance." He smiled at me, his eye crazy. "I think that you need to learn what life is really about Monev. I don't think you understand suffering at all."
Painfully, my body lurched into a standing position, and my arms mechanically ripped my clothing off. My penis was shriveled and chaffed, bleeding. Legato leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, watching with a look of amusement on his face.
"I don't really want to touch you, you know. You're a filthy human, after all. So, why don't you take care of it for me?" He laughed again, and I bent forward, gripping my gun and unscrewing its silencer. My arms brought the proffered metal tube to my lips, that grimaced backward and allowed it entry. Legato laughed and laughed, inside my head and out, echoing insanely off himself.
I saw myself, maybe he wanted me to. I sat on my knees, blowing part of a gun. I wished it had a trigger.
One of my hands snaked itself down my body, and pressed one, then two fingers inside me, and it hurt.
I begged and Legato only laughed more.
He would twist me and turn me, posing me and humiliating me, and I landed with my ass held high and my face flat against the cold floor. My arm reached around me, silencer still gripped, and I grimaced. He forced me to cram it inside myself, and pull it in and out. That's when he started to let me scream.
Again, he set my free hand to attacking my already abused crotch, and then, as an afterthought, decided that this was not actually enough.
Pain beyond what was happening to my body ripped me open, in a bright slash of agony across my mind. I was reduced to a fraction of self, and Legato poked and prodded all my memories and thoughts as though tonguing a sore tooth.
There it all was, being kidnapped, beaten, sold. Isolated. And the secret urges that I'd harbored. I had become obsessed with Legato, I had forgotten what other people looked like…
Blood trickled down my thighs.
When I could see again (vision flooding back to the horror) I lay on my back and Legato was actually knelt down astride me, watching the entire matter very closely now. The light in my eyes signaled consciousness, and he smiled again, that wolf-smile. Then he plunged a blade into my chest.
I passed out, finally, unable to bear or be forced to bear even another second of it.
When I woke I discovered myself to be badly disfigured, impotent as I'd feared, with ghastly stitches holding me together.
I knew now. Life was pain, at least this one was. All I could really do was hope to share it a little. I shouldn't be the only one to suffer.