Arc: Twenty Thirty-Five
We are treated to a lost footage tape, telling us what happened. The tape's date is December 20, 2035.
"Hi, greetings, hello everyone, uh… my name is Glenn and although you might not be able to tell right now, I am actually, um… I am actually…the last conservative alive on this entire planet, at least to my own knowledge. Current year? It is now 2035 and the progressive left have officially taken over not only the entire world but the entire universe as well. It's actually one of the many reasons why NASA's space exploration program is being relaunched so we can rocket back to the moon to tear down the American flag we left up there to replace it with a gay flag. Now times have drastically changed and it is to my belief that many conservatives are currently in hiding. So, I thought I would make this video for any other conservatives out there who are currently hiding, so they can be kept up to date with how our world has drastically changed now that liberals rule the world."
The scene flashbacks to 2032, with Glenn's voiceover accompanying it.
"We can go ahead and start with how our own country has changed, the United States of America, or USA for short; Only it's no longer called the USA. It's been renamed to the North Inclusive Gays Granting Effective Rights or for short it would be Ni-Ooh…oh. Oh, ok, well; I would consider anonymously bringing attention to this issue to kind of troll some of the liberals, but I would be a little bit scared they would freak out and end up nuking our own country."
"Once Donald Trump was impeached and exiled onto a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean in early 2019 (he was close, it was actually late 2020); We elected a new leader, someone who's considered to be empowering; A strong, powerful, independent, transgender black woman, Michelle Obama, and for our vice president, we now have Amy Schumer."
"One of the first laws that was passed under queen Michelle was a law making it illegal to not find women funny. In fact, now if a woman tells a joke and you do not laugh at her joke, then you'll be forced to pay her child support for the next three years, even if she doesn't have a child (He was wrong, it's actually you have to pay her alimony for three years, even if you never married her); However, you'd most likely know if she had one because public breastfeeding is now totally a thing."
We cut away from Glenn's video to see how the liberal hive minds' new feminist law, known as the Schadenfreude Schism, effects the new neosocial society.
"Hey guys, I just found some awesome YouTube channel that appreciates my brand of observational and pedantic wordplay humor."
"Really, Lu? Who is it?"
"If I remember right, his YouTube username is Chuggaaconroy. He about 2.4 million subscribers. His channel consists of him playing video games and overanalyzing, as well as 100% completing them. With a dollop of brevity in between to break up the pace."
"What, you still watch video games? Grow up, Luan!"
"I watch it for the puns."
"His puns are so bad they make me want to die."
"Maybe you should watch his Kirby's Epic Yarn playthrough for a behind the seams look at how much work went into that series."
"Was that a joke? It was so funny I forgot to laugh…oh wait?! It wasn't, that joke's terrible. No wonder you and Emile would get along well!"
Suddenly, an ANTIFA member approaches the two. Luan is prepared to fight the socialist, as she, like many others have seen mobs of them beating up anyone they deem Nazis (even though, now, they ARE the Nazis).
"You, cis white scum. Laugh at the woman's joke."
"No."
"Maybe you didn't hear me, laugh or pay the price."
"No."
Luan attempts to break them up.
"No, there isn't anything wrong here, sir."
"Oh, I see a great injustice here."
He turns to Luan's colleague.
"Laugh or you'll be forced to pay her alimony for three years."
"Alimony? I wouldn't marry her!"
"Alright, you've been served. Pay up. 15% of your paycheck should do nicely."
"No way!"
"It's quite alright, he doesn't need to owe me anything!"
"We're just protecting you citizen, now as for you…"
The ANTIFA member gives a swift judo chop to Luan's colleague's head, knocking him out, he then takes him away.
"Not to worry, we'll make sure you'll get compensated for your emotional distress."
"But I'm not offended!"
The ANTIFA member ignores her and sends her colleague to a reeducation camp.
Back to Glenn…
"Couple other major feminist advancements was the removal of the office air conditioning and to make up for the apparent wage gap that went on for so many years, women are now payed 77% more than everyone else within their jobs. It's also illegal to not hire women."
Well, unfortunately for Luan, 77% of 0 is still 0…
"Possibly one of the biggest laws that was passed under the Michelle Obama administration was making it a federal offense to misgender anyone."
In fact, the problem is so bad in the cesspool formerly known as California, that the amount of people in prison for misgendering someone is an incomprehensible 31 times higher than all other crimes combined! It has gotten so bad that the New California Republic has had to cull the prison population to make room for more inmates. California is now literally built by the bones and blood of its own people. But can we really expect any more from the place that sucks knowledge from Scott Weiner's dick and contracted AIDS from it, the place that banned plastic straws, the place that taxed old text messages and the place where there are more degenerates than a Walmart supercenter? No, this is just an ordinary day in the urban wastelands of California.
And the people who misgender, even by accident are treated as worse than mass murderers, serial rapists and pedophiles. They are even worse than prison bitches. The lowest of the low, and the scum of the Earth that deserve an eternity in Hell.
"Um, so now that the liberals rule everything, they no longer have to hide their blatant hatred for straight, white men. Only we aren't called straight, white men anymore. We are now labeled "privileged penis crackers" and hundreds of thousands of privileged penis crackers are now rounded up against their will and forced to pick cotton to punish them for what they did to the black people so many years ago."
"After the PPCs have finished picking cotton all day long in the hot sun, they are loaded onto a ship where they then spend the night; The only thing is, the ship doesn't even go anywhere; It just kind of sits there; But the liberals who now rule believe that the white men must be punished."
It's way worse than what Glenn described. 80% of all cis, white men that aren't ridden with white guilt or are working with ANTIFA are rounded up on the slave ship recreations after working the cotton fields all day. Many of these ships were made to be as historically accurate as possible and even had built in wrought iron chains to prevent the white man from escaping. The black crew had the slave chain keys and released them for the next cotton-picking day. The whites were brutally whipped and tortured by their black slavers. As many as 750 PPCs were loaded onto a ship with a capacity of 200-500. There was rats and filth and disease all over. It's like each ship had the bubonic plague in it. People suffocated and died due to the over cramping. On rare occasions, the ships would sail to Africa, but on the way there, the ship would be scuttled, killing all the PPCs and sending them to a watery grave (the black crewmen escape with lifeboats and were rescued by the liberals).
The other 18%? Well, in Nineteen Eighty-Four, INGSOC had the term goodsex, which was the use of sex solely to bear offspring. The liberals have an equally dystopian view called nosex. It's exactly what it means. A form of population and happiness control, nosex promotes pure abstinence to slowly kill off the population, which is what the liberals want, so that they can retain their power forever. To prevent the extinction of the human species, a select group of men were put into "The Milking Fields", a group of HFFs (human fertilization farms), where they are treated like livestock. The human fertilization farm works like this. The Udders (men) are supposed to inseminate what are known as Incubators (women). The incubators rotate out to allow for the production for more offspring. Once a child is born, the Incubator has sole decision on whether to keep or kill it. In this liberal society, a matriarchal democracy has been instated which gives women absolute power. As such, abortion is not only legal, but it is encouraged. If they child is a boy, they are either drafted to be a new Udder or our taken care of by the Incubator until the age of ten, where they are sent to the cotton fields if they are a PPC, or integrated into society if a minority. Udders are considered to be operable once they have a penis. Since female scientists know about something called a "refractory period" that men have after sex, there are 30 minute "recharge" designations so they can fertilize another one. If they are infertile or too old, they are executed and a new Udder is chosen to replace them. If the child is a girl, they are completely fine. Some egalitarians protest the inhumane misandry but are completely ignored by the liberal leaders. As a bonus, an egalitarian woman scientist published some disturbing findings in which 90% of all boys are aborted/killed by Incubators. The liberals' response is to celebrate the female victory over the patriarchy. Basically, it's a reverse Handmaid's Tale.
Actual sex is illegal and any man/woman pair caught will be executed. Homosexual pairs are ok, since they can't have children. If this seems like doublethink, since the LGBTXYZ+ can pleasure each other, that's because it is. Lesbian sex is a doublethink within a doublethink (a quadruplethink?). Because on the one hand it's female empowerment, but on the other, it's a woman dominating another woman, and the liberal brains can't process this logic error. It also makes lesbian porn, which everyone in the new country loves…
Masturbation is illegal for men, and any male caught jacking themselves off will be publicly castrated in front of everyone. Female masturbation is legal however and is totally hot (especially if they use a vibrator), but it also exposes the left's gynephilia. Enough about sex, back to Glenn's video.
"Another thing that's changed is cis white men are now no longer allowed to go to school, as an education would put them over their permitted privilege limit, forcing them to be executed. The only thing, the privileged penis crackers are slowly but surely starting to get smarter. And some of them are even claiming to be one of the 876,469 genders (there is actually to infinity and beyond genders) just so that they can get out from the slave labor, and some are even running for office, as it is now illegal to run for office unless you are a minority (the whites just need to wait 25 more years when black people become the new majority race)."
"Another major change that's happened is the change in transportation. Let me show you what I mean. So, here's a photo of your standard bus in 2017, and here's a photo you your standard bus now (shows same picture, but with the Toyota and Prius logos on it)."
"The black people in this country, which are no longer referred to as black people; They now go by "beautiful brown colors" or BBCs for short. They became increasingly triggered by white people and increasingly fearful of white people. Because of this, laws were immediately passed, giving black people their own private spaces, their own water fountains, their own places to sit in movie theaters and the Prius bus and even their own park benches (Because it's not segregation when BBCs do it). Safe spaces are also now provided on every single street corner, which are only available for minorities which include BBCs, women, genderqueer people, you get the point."
"Finally, we removed our old economic system. And this word is now considered hate speech, but I think I can say it. It's…uh…capitalism."
"Government now provides for everyone. They've raised the minimum wage to $50 dollars an hour, they now ration three rice cakes a day for everyone (not true, you can still get soup and bread, as well as trying to scavenge for leftovers just like in This War of Mine. You can also just buy some stuff, because unlike other communist regimes, the stores are stocked as soon as they run out, just watch out for the rabid shoppers). And they even provide healthcare for everyone. However, I believe personally, that the healthcare needs serious, serious work. Just the other day I was walking downtown, when I saw a man get attacked and left for dead where no one was able to help him; And you might be wondering why I didn't call the police, but that's because the police have been melted, along with our guns. And the poor man was left to die there, downtown, right under the Linda Sarsour statue. Oh, and that's another big thing that's changed. Pretty much every single statue was eventually deemed as racist and has since been torn down. Anyways in the early 2020s, Mount Rushmore was actually blown up and replaced with a new and inclusive Mount Rushmore. Take a look at what I mean. We have Elizabeth Warren, Caitlyn Jenner, Beyoncé and Hillary Clinton. Now that's what the USA, or the North Inclusive Gays Granting Effective Rights looks like now, but the entire world is different as well. Let me show you what I mean."
The liberals have hired members of the Black Lives Matter movement to be a police hunting death squad, as well as monitoring their BCC (blue concentration camps) wherein they will enact a Final Solution esque mass execution of police officers. All guns in the US were confiscated and destroyed, The NRA and all gun ranges were torn down, and the second amendment was completely repealed!
"First, I want to take you to Mexico, take a look (picture of a slum). Now you may notice it looks completely abandoned, and that's because it is. All the Mexicans came here. Now we can go ahead and take a look at Europe-"
The video becomes heavily corrupted at this point. Maybe Lisa could fix it?
And about the Mexicans coming here. Well, the liberals got about 200 people armed with several grenades and started pulling a Papers Please and blowing up the Great Wall of Trump with them, allowing a massive swath of over 57,000 Central American migrants to rush into the country, just like the Kolechians invading the Arztotskan border town of Grestin on December 24, 1982. Some of those people are blatant drug pushers, rapists, murders, gang members and everything! The liberals don't care because of their inclusivity policy, which allowed the Central American terrorist group "Los Malos Hombres" (Spanish: Los Hombres Malos) to set up operations in Texas. Consisting of the most wretched hive of scum and villainy south of the border, it hosts El Salvadorian mass murderers, Guatemalan serial rapists, Honduran drug dealers, as well as several cartels and gangs. Most members are from those three countries, but there is at least one person from every South American and Central American country in the group. They even include women, despite the name. The liberals don't even care that Los Malos Hombres are eradicating Texas right now! Trump was right and now the liberals have brought crime, drugs, rapists and some migrants, they assume, are good people.
"I hope this short informational video has helped other conservatives in hiding understand the way this world has operated nowadays. I do have good news however, I've heard that some people are secretly working on a new escape route for the privileged penis crackers and for the conservatives, to hopefully find somewhere safe. I believe it was called the Underground Railroad. So, hopefully that gets built soon and we can find a way to escape. Thank you everyone for watching…"
*Knock, knock, knock, knock!
*Knock, knock, knock, knock!
"They found me…"
The video ends.
We cut back to 2032, where we see that the NIGGER is now a surveillance state, with all social media now being run by liberals. And now the anti-white Twitter is now known as the leftist 4chan. There are no white people on Twitter to make it a safe space for the BBCs. There are several wrongthink camps to reeducate/indoctrinate conservatives. Like Glenn/Hunter says, the Underground Railroad is being expanded into all of the states (except Hawaii). But now, since the mass executions of all the police, ANTIFA has now become a federal militia to replace the dead cops. An ANTIFA tech made a program to kill fascists known as the Sulita Petru program. Meaning "Impaler" in Romanian, this internet program would rain unholy death to fascists! They got the idea from a horror website. It was object 2578, they believe. When they tested it, the building they were in was annihilated, with them in it, so the project was terminated. Not only that, each state has its own secret police known as Полиция под прикрытием, that act like the Gestapo back in the '40s. These people are collectively known as "Ghosts" and rat people out to ANTIFA. ANTIFA has all groups listed on their site. No one knows who the members are. The 50 groups are:
HMRG (His Majesty's Royal Guard)
Diabetic Destructors
Anomalous Attackers
Sweet Peaches
Crust Breakers
Old Guard
Light of The Bush
The Pruners
Hypocrite's Delight
Firelockers
Exceptional Elitists
Risen Again
Pintsized Powerhouses
Sanding Down
The Slaughterhouse
Sixteen Hz Musicians
The Paulverizers
Creole Spices
Bane of Yellow
Low Riders
Fuck Cops
Incesting You
Liberal Eye
Silver Archon
Nine Shots
Elder Branches
Spacetime Cesspool
Bigger and Better
Mind Flayers
Cheesed Off
Silicon Knights
Subzero Snowflakes
Logic Falls
Whirlwind of Emotions
Traitor Slayers
Death Dealers
Snow Monsters
Smokescreen Puffs
Natural Splendor
Buffalo Roam
Cult of Globalism
Needle and My Eye
Potato Famine
The Equalizer
Dead Water
Gridiron Gauntlets
Diversification
Heat Strikers
Socialist Supers
Rings of Fire
They only need to worry about group 26, the Elder Branches, since the Louds are in Michigan. Still, who can you trust? Next time, we see Lynn and Leni attempt to traverse this brave new world.