Disclaimer: I do not own this franchise. I am just borrowing the characters for my mere amusement.
Mustang: The witch also doesn't own any of the pop culture references she tends to make on here. Okay, where's my paycheck?
Me: -.-" -hands him a check- Here, go buy Riza an engagement ring.
Mustang: ... Shut up.
Hi guys, and welcome to Just Ask! I'm your hostess, Queen Cari, and these are my lovely co hosts, Alphonse Elric and Roy Mustang!
Al: Hi!
Mustang: Hey eve- Wait, lovely?
Me: Yes. I believe you two are two lovely guys.
Al: Um... thank you.
Mustang: ... You're weird.
Me: Thanks. Anyways, hello everyone and welcome to a special edition of Just Ask. Here we have added "would you rather" scenarios along with our usual asking. Oh, and new rules, since I know a lot of you won't answer. -looks at Ed and Mustang-
Mustang: ... What?
Me: Anyways, rules. Cast members, you have to answer, or else you will be thrown into... -dramatic pause- the pit... OF FANGIRLS!
-Pit full of screaming fangirls appear-
Fangirl #1: WE LOVVE YOU EDDD!
Fangirl # 2: MARRRYYY MEE ROY!
Fangirl # 3: HAVE MY BABIES ENVY!
Everyone: ...
Me: :D
Ed: You're evil! You truly are a witch!
Me: Well there you have it. So let's get this rolling people!
Mustang: Here we have our first guest, MissiB!
Oh, I'm counting on it, babe ;)
Mustang: I think our lovely reviewer has a thing for Envy.
Well, thanks for that insight, Lust! Now, I have a question for all the homunculi except the two I'm about to name: Who do you guys think would win in a fight, Envy or Pride?
Lust: Pride.
Gluttony: Pride
Wrath: Pride
Sloth: ... Pride... -sleeps-
Greed: Definitely Pride.
Envy: ...
Pride: Fuck yeah I'll kick his ass.
and before I forget (again) Ed, Palm Tree, what're your thoughts on the EdVy pairing? *Hides behind bullet-proof glass*
Envy: What the fuck is Edvy?
Me: ... Um... you better sit down. Al, hold your brother.
Al: Why?
Ed: What is going on?
Me: Hold him back. While I'm at it, Homunculi, hold back Envy.
Envy: No! Don't tell me!
Ed: WHAT THE HELL!?
Me: Yeah... that's Edvy.
Al: WHAT!
Envy: HELL NO!
Ed: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
This was yet another chapter that made me laugh out loud, though I'm sorry to hear your film ended on a cliffhanger :( I hate it when that happens it's so annoying! Good luck with your finals! I look forward to your next update!
Me: Eh, it was still a good film. Thanks, MissiB! x3 Now moving on, here is ms. cheerful!
Envy-would you rather be called a transgender homunculus or a palm tree for the rest of your life?
Envy: ... Either way, both results will end the same. A dead human.
Me: Pick one, Envy! Or else... -points at the pit-
Envy: ... transgender homunculus. It's less annoying of the two.
Ed-would you rather eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet with gluttony or play tag with Pride's scary shadows.
Ed: Well... Gluttony would be distracted with all that food. I just got my arm back, thank you very much.
Ed-Would you rather drink a gallon of milk or be Mustang's servant for a week?
Ed: ... I hate you.
Mustang: Pick one, Fullmetal.
Ed: ... You'd be insane if you think I'll be your servant for a week. I'd rather drink gallon of milk. I did last time.
Mustang: You spit it out.
Ed: Shut up.
Mustang-Woud you rather live a week without gloves or let Hughes in your offices and tlk about his daughter?
Mustang: I need those gloves. I'd probably let Hughes in my office and talk about his daughter. He does it either way.
Hughes: You love me though.
Mustang: Sure.
Me: ... -remembers that I still have Mustang's gloves- Mmhmm...
Mustang-would you rather propose to Riza (right now) or go on a date?
Mustang: ... Am I going on a date with her?
Me: They never specified.
Mustang: I can't answer until I get a specific answer.
Me: Colonel...
Mustang: Fine. I'd rather go on a date with Hawkeye than propose to her right now. It would be more proper that way.
Me: Bu-But you two have known each other for a long time... You two are already married! Might as well make it official so I can die in peace! -cries-
Mustang: Fangirls. -.-" Moving on, here's NurdBurger
I have a question for my baby, Envy.
Envy: I'm not your baby.
Well, a few questions. And a request/demand/threat.
Me: Whoa.
First question: What do you think of Edvy (Ed and Envy)?
Ed and Envy: NO!
Second question: How would you react if I said that you were not a typical palm tree, but the kind with spiky leaves that prick you? And that you are the most attractive anime character ever and I want to marry you?
Envy: I knew this was a cuter model. And no, I won't marry you, you human scum.
Third question: are you a boy, girl, or are you transgendered? Or do you not have a gender? Do you need to check?
Envy: I don't need a gender. I can be whatever I want.
Me: ... Mental images.
Envy: Shut up, you bitch.
Request/demand/threat: Marry me. If you don't, I will reduce you into your powerless form and stick you in a cage. You will be my pet. So, either that, or marriage. See ya, my sweet Envy! 3
Envy: ... Marriage ends with death due us part right?
Al: Well, that's one way to end a marriage. Here's Xavier 17!
For envy would ur rather read a ton of ed/vy lemon fan fix or have your eyes burnt out by the incredible usless colonel.
Mustang: -.-"
Envy: I'd rather have my eyes burned out. Either way, the pain is the same.
P.S. Srry Ed and Roy u do kinda suck and ur incredible annoying.
Ed: I want to hate you... but I agree with the last part.
Mustang: Do I look like I give a fuck? Next up is Shalcro!
Thanks ONCE again for answering my questions! Lets see here, Would you rather? -Smirks- ...hehehhe
Ed: This can't be good.
Edward (Stupid question I know): Would you rather drink 400 gallons of milk or get called short 400 times?
Ed: ... Get called short. They already do anyways.
Mustang: Hell's freezing over!
Ed: It's would I rather, you bastard!
Me: ... At this point I should get the glue and get along shirt out...
Mustang: Would you rather sleep with Scar or Envy? :D
Me: -laughs out loud- Oh my God!
Mustang: ... What kind of thoughts are you guys having?!
Me: -laughing- Crack!pairings, oh my God! xD
Mustang: ... Shut it, you witch.
Me: Pick one, dammit!
Mustang: ... I hate you all.
Me: Love you too, Colonel. Now pick one.
Mustang: ... I volunteer to have myself thrown into the pit of fangirls.
...
...
...
Me: Mustang's taking one for the team guys!
Ed: Oh shit!
Al: Are you serious, Colonel?!
Mustang: Yep. I knew I'll die this way.
Me: Security!
-Security appears-
Me: Throw the Colonel into the pit of cats.
Mustang: WHAT!?
Ed: HA!
Al: Oooh, cats!
Mustang: NO! Wait, what?! -is dragged off-
Me: ... Feel free to make sure the cats don't kill him, Lieutenant.
Hawkeye: -follows-
Ed: You never said anything about the pit of cats!
Me: That's because I just thought of it.
Al: I want cats... Well, moving on!
Hughes: What do you like more, Royai or Edwin? (P.S. Edwin is Edward X Winry. You already know what Royai is.)
Hughes: Wait... Roy and Hawkeye... or Edward and Winry... Dammit! WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME!?
Al: You broke him.
Hughes: THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! NOOO!
Me: He ships them both.
Hughes: Can I pick them both? Because Roy and Hawkeye are obviously meant for each other and Edward and Winry are just so adorable. Please? Please? Please?!
Me: ... Well... since you're choosing both, I guess I'll let it pass.
Hughes: THANK YOU!
Ed: Wait, what?!
Me: You can't choose neither. I never said anything about choosing both.
Ed: You witch. -.-"
Me: -shrugs-
Envy: Would you rather jump into that pit of fangirls, or be forced to makeout with a human?
Envy: What's the point? I'll get the same result.
Me: Pick one.
Envy: ... I'd rather jump into that pit of fangirls and murder them all.
...
...
...
Me: -ahem- Okay. -thinks to myself- Those fangirls are immortal though...
Oh and Cari,
Me: Aw shit.
I heard what you said about Elricest and Edvy SOOOOOO
Me: Oh boy.
Ed: Elricest?
Me: Erm...
Ed and Envy: Thoughts of Edvy?
Ed and Envy: NO!
Al and Ed: Thoughts of Elricest?
Al: What is... that?
Me: -sighs- It's the romantic pairing... between Alphonse and... -clears throat- Edward...
Ed: WHAT THE HELL!?
Al: WHAT!
Hughes: NOW that's just wrong.
Me: Erm... lots of people find it... cute and hot.
Winry: That's just... no, that's way more disturbing than Ed and Colonel Mustang.
Me: Yeah...
Ed: Why do I get the worst pairings?!
Me: You want to hear more of your pairings? -gets list-
Ed: NO!
Alright that's all I have for now! See you all next session... OH! And Cari good luck on your Finals! Bye!
Me: Thank you so much! :D Here's KonohaKame01
Winry, would you rather do 7 minute's in heaven with Edward or kiss him for 7 minutes In front of every one.
Total Edwin Shipper.
Winry: 7 minutes in heaven... that closet game?
Me: Yeah.
Winry: Yeah, I'd rather do that.
Ed: Huh...
Me: -smirks-
Ed: Why are you smiling like that?
Winry: -blushes- No, not that way!
Me: -laughs hard-
Winry: Cari! -blushes-
Ed: Wait, what?!
Al: Cari, you pervert.
Me: Shut up! I can't help it!
Ed: Something's wrong with you.
Me: -laughs more-
P.S. For when the segment is over, Madam Christmas, can you tell us 3 embarrassing stories about Roy's past? - KonohaKame01
Ed: YES!
Hughes: Yay!
Madame Christmas: Sure if there is time and if the hostess allows it.
Me: Of course! Speaking of... where is Mustang? Huh... SECURITY!
-Security appears-
Me: Did you get the Colonel out of the pit?
Security: Yes, my Queen. He is being escorted back by his subordinate.
Me: Thank you.
-Hawkeye leads Mustang back. Mustang is covered in bloody scratches-
Mustang: ... I hate you.
Me: Love you too, Colonel. Here's aida!
Ed, would you rather be hugged by envy or roy?
Ed: ... Colonel Bastard.
Mustang: -who is being bandaged by Hawkeye- Wait, what?!
Me: Aww...
Ed: Would I rather, you witch! I'm not going to do it!
Me: ... Hmm...
Mustang: She has her thinking cap on. This can't be good.
Al: You guys keep giving her ideas. Well, moving on... here's Kay!
Hey, it's Kay! :) I really like this segments of yours! They're really funny.
Me: Thank you :]
Al: Would you rather read Elricest, Edvy, or Royed? :3 Sorry, I wanted to see what Al thought of this.
Al: I'll be disturbed with all of them.
Me: Pick one.
Al: ... Can I go to the pit of cats?
Me: ... That wouldn't be a puni-
Mustang: No, Alphonse! It's torture! Look at this! -shows off his scratches-
Me: ... Ew...
Al: ... That's... oh my...
Me: ... Still want to go, Al?
Al: That doesn't look good...
Me: Throw him in!
Ed: AL!
-Security takes Al-
Al: Waiitttt! No! -is dragged away-
Me: Poor Al.
Ed: YOU WITCH! -runs off after Al-
Me: Anyways... back to our regular scheduled program!
Winry: Same question.
Winry: ... What?
Me: Just answer.
Winry: ... Ahem. Royed.
Mustang: WHAT!
Winry: It's the less disturbing of the three.
Riza: Would you rather read a smutty Royed or a smutty RoyMaes?
Mustang: There is RoyMaes too?!
Hughes: Whoa! I love Roy, but not THAT way!
Mustang: He's my best friend, more like a brother to me. Also, he's married!
Hughes: Happily! And Roy has Lt. Hawkeye!
Mustang: And I hav- Wait, what!
Hughes: We're completely straight... unless... Is that why Roy won't confess?!
Mustang: Hughes, I'm straight.
Hughes: Are you, Roy?!
Mustang: -.-"
I just wanted to see what you guys thought of that.
Hawkeye: I just got disturbing images. But I'd rather read RoyMaes.
Hughes: WHAT!
Mustang: Wait, WHAT!
Hawkeye: -shrugs- It's the less disturbing of the two.
Note for the authoress: I love you so much! You have a good timing when it comes to updating, and I hope you do well in your finals.
Me: Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
Also, I'm wondering, why do you torture poor Ed and Roy a lot? If Roy is your favorite male character, who's your favorite female character, and overall character?
Me: Ed and the Colonel are really easy targets. And I love them both. Mustang is my favorite male character, and my favorite female character is my favorite overall character.
Hughes: Who?
Me: Riza Hawkeye.
Hawkeye: Oh... really?
Me: Yep. You're really awesome and amazing. x3 I love you.
Hawkeye: Thank you.
Mustang: Well, there goes that mystery.
-Ed returns-
Me: ... Well, well. Where's your brother?
Ed: -smirks- Outsmarted you.
Me: ... What?
Ed: -points away- Check that out.
-Al returns with the cats following him-
Al: They're so sweet!
Me: ... What?!
Mustang: They are not sweet!
Al: Colonel, you were fighting back against them.
Mustang: THEY WERE ATTACKING ME!
Al: But they are sweethearts.
Cats: -Meowing and purring-
Al: Go on, go and play!
-Cats leave back into the pit-
Me: Well then... Here's Theultimatenerd43
Okay! Here are questions:
Dear Tucker, -stabs in the chest- I forgot what I was asking.
Tucker: -dies-
Me: ... Clean up on the front!
Ed: ... I got it. -gets mop-
Me: Thank you, darling. I should pay that kid... with Mustang's paycheck.
Mustang: Hey!
Al, do you like your body's look better in Brotherhood or the 2003 series?
Al: Brotherhood. Miss Cari said I'm the right age here.
Me: Yeah, but your body was all frail... and ew.
Al: Well... true. But I get better through the months, and... well... Ed and I are with our family in the end.
Me: ... Aw...
Ed and Al, what do you think of the pairing Elricest? (Elricest is shipping Ed and Al)
Ed and Al: No.
Ed and Envy, what do you think of the pairing Edvy? (Edvy is shipping Ed and Envy)
Ed: At this point I should just shoot myself.
Everyone else, what do you think of the pairings above?
Mustang: I question the sanity of the fans at this point.
Everyone else: Same.
Sheska, do you think you should've had a bigger role in Brotherhood? Do you like your role better in Brotherhood or the 2003 series?
Sheska: Erm... how was my role in the 2003 series?
Me: :D I loved you in the 2003 series. Okay, you and Winry become really close.
Winry: Ooh.
Me: You two bond over your admiration of Hughes.
Hughes: Aw!
Me: When he is unfortunately killed, you two go all out to investigate his murder. You guys find out about one of the homunculus that way. It was fun. I loved the friendship between you two.
Sheska: Aw, that would've been nice to experience!
Me: It would have. x3
Al, here's my cat! Her name is Emma! Will you go out with me?
Al: Oo, a cat! -takes cat- Hi, Emma! You pretty girl! You should meet all the other cats. -leads Emma to Rayas- Emma, this is Cari's cat, Rayas. Rayas, this is Emma.
Emma: -meow-
Rayas: -meow- Welcome aboard, young one. Come with me. -leads Emma into the darkness-
Me: Rayas is being strangely friendly.
Mustang: Too friendly... -eyes Rayas suspiciously-
Ed, Al, and Winry, Let's have a snowball fight!
Al and Winry: Yay!
Me: -singing- Do you want to build a snowman...?
Ed: Shut up! Don't even start with that song!
Me: ... Is it because it made you cry?
Ed: No, it's annoying.
Me: -ahem-
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen.
An kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the Queen
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I've tried
Ed: She's singing again. Make her stop.
Me: But I like that song D:
Now here are the would you rather questions:
Ed, would you rather kiss Roy or Envy? YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE ONE.
Ed: I hate you.
Me: Choose!
Ed: Can I just throw myself in the pit of fangirls?
Me: ... Fine. Security!
-Security appears and drags Ed off-
Al, would you rather stay in the suit of armor forever (this also means you will be immortal and outlive everyone) or die?
Al: Die. I don't want to be alone forever. Miss Cari, can I go make sure my brother isn't killed...?
Me: Go for it.
Al: Thanks! -runs off-
Sheska, do you think you should've had a bigger role in Brotherhood? Do you like your role better in Brotherhood or the 2003 series?
Sheska: Now that Miss Cari explained to me my role, I would have liked to experience it.
Roy, would you rather date Hawkeye or date Ed? (We all know the answer)
Mustang: -sarcastic tone- Gee, would I rather date a kid half my age who is such a brat or a lovely woman who I care about with all my heart.
Me: Aw.
Mustang; Shut it, you witch.
Hawkeye: Colonel...
Mustang: At this point I don't care, Lieutenant. I've kissed you twice... once with tongue!
Me: That was hot.
Mustang: Shut up.
Hawkeye, would you rather switch lives with Winry or Mei?
Hawkeye: Hmm... I'm used to my life now. But I would like to see both of their lives. I'd like to see how automail works and see why Winry likes it. It was her automail that gave Edward the ability to advance towards his goal.
Winry: -blushes-
Hawkeye: Also, I would like to see how May works with her alkahestry... Since it did save me...
May: -blushes-
Hawkeye: Both of them have different worlds and it would be nice to experience them.
Me: ... It would. A lot of you guys have interesting lives.
Mei, would you rather have Xing hit with an atomic bomb and destroyed or have the government in Xing to crash?
May: Both are horrible scenarios! Well, I'd rather have the government in Xing to crash, since we can fix it up. I don't want many people to die.
Ling, would you rather share a body with Greed forever or share a body with Cari forever?
Ling: ... Miss Cari, are you a homunculus?
Me: No, Ling.
Ling: Greed then.
Greed: Whatever.
Cari, would you rather be forced to write an incredibly cheesy Mary-Sue fic, or be the Mary-Sue?
Me: Hm... Mary-Sues are immortal and are either related to the canon characters or romantically involved. Not to mention perfect... Hm... ew. I'd rather write one. -thinks to myself- Hm...
-Al returns with Ed, who is missing his shirt and is covered in lipstick and finger nail scratches-
Everyone: ...
Ed: ...
Al: He doesn't want to talk about it.
Me: ... Next questions for you, Al.
Al: Oh, thanks!
Dear Al, This isn't a would you rather question. Here is my cat named Time! He is full grown but still looks like a kitten and he's so sweet! :3 Also, the offer still stands. We could go out for coffee.
Al: Hi, Time! -pets cat- And I'll think about it...
May: ...
Al: .-. -leads Time to other cats- Meet Cari's cat, Rayas!
Time: -meow-
Rayas: -meow- Welcome aboard. Let's have a talk. -leads Time into the darkness-
Al: Aw, I want more cats!
Me: ... Al is going to be a cat lady when he's older.
Al: Probably. Here is Not so human!
I ask the weirdest questions.
First, you guys know about the cats, right? If not then forget I said anything.
Rayas: -returns and gives you a death glare-
Mustang: ... -stares suspiciously at Rayas-
Ed, would you rather be with an abusive Envy or Al who's madly in love with you?
Ed: You're right, that is a weird question. Not to mention disturbing.
Me: Answer.
Ed: ...
Me: Do you want to go back to the pit of fangirls?
Ed: ... Security!
-Security appears-
Ed: Send me into the pit.
Security: ... Do I?
Me: Yes, please.
-Security grabs Ed and begins to drag him away-
Me: -whispers in his ear- Throw him into the pit of cats.
-Security drags Ed away, and Al follows him-
Roy, would you rather get with Izumi or Hughes? By the way, I accidently stumbled across something like that once. Very disturbing.
Mustang: Izumi and Hughes are married. Very happily. Now... would I rather get killed or satisfy billions of um... what's the word again, Cari?
Me: Which one?
Mustang: The term for male romance. Gay couples, you know, it starts with a Y...?
Me: Yaoi?
Mustang: There we go. Satisfy a bunch of yaoi fangirls... Hm... I value my life, thank you very much. And Hughes is a brother to me...
Me: Pit of fangirls?
Mustang: Yes please.
Me: Security! Throw him back into the pit of cats.
Mustang: Fuck you! -is dragged away-
Hawkeye: He was just bandaged. -gets up-
Me: Wait, Lieutenant, question's for you!
Riza, would you rather watch Roy die or be tortured?
Hawkeye: Those are two scenarios I don't want to see.
Me: ... -smirks- They never defined what kind of torture...
Hawkeye: ... Cari... something's wrong with you.
Me: Sorry...
Hawkeye: I'd rather watch him die. His pain won't last than being tortured. By watching him die I can know who is responsible for it and take them out myself.
Me: ... Interesting. You can go after your Colonel now.
Hawkeye: Thank you. -walks off-
Al, would you rather kill a bunch of cats trying to take over the world *snickers* or let them kill Ed and Roy?
Me: Al and Ed are missing at the moment.
-Ed returns all scratched up-
Ed: I HATE YOU!
Me: -shrugs- Sorry. Say, where is your brother?
Ed: ... Over there. -points at Al, who is playing with the cats-
Me: ... Well then. Wait... where's Mustang?
Mustang: -returning with Hawkeye- I hate you.
Me: Did you get scratched up again?
Mustang: Those cats... it's like your cat controls them!
Me: ... -looks at Rayas, who is snuggling with Al- ... Aw. She's so sweet.
Mustang: She is not sweet!
Ed, would you rather get with Roy or be killed by Envy. You know, like being stabbed in the cgest or something.
Ed: Rather get killed.
Me: You poor unfortunate soul. Here's highway country 1994
Ed would you rather get killed by Envy or Mustang
Ed: ... Killed by Mustang.
Mustang: I'd never kill you, kid.
Ed: Exactly.
Al: -returning with Rayas- Your cat is so sweet, Miss Cari.
Me: Isn't she?
Mustang: -gives Rayas a suspicious look-
next Al would you rather drink punch out of a fat sweaty women's belly button or eat a old steak on the sidewalk,
Al: Ew! Um... steak.
Ed: Ew, Al!
Al: It's "Would you rather"! I wouldn't do it in real life.
and winery... hears a new wrench to hit Ed with merry Christmas;}
Winry: Thank you!
Ed: You all want me dead, don't you?
Me: Probably. Next up is agarfinkel!
1. Havoc: Would you rather go on a date with Olivier or with Katherine?
Havoc: Katherine. I want to live.
Breda: Too bad she turned you down.
Havoc: Shut up!
2. Lust: Would you rather have an afro or be an airheaded ditz? (This was from the chibi omake theater skits. One had Lust acting all airheaded and revealing information about herself and the homunculus, while another had Lust getting an afro after being burned by Mustang)
Me: HA! Those omakes.
Lust: Afro. I remember the Colonel opening his wound afterwards. Made him an easier target to kill then.
Al: Good thing it was an omake...
3. Isaac- would you rather have King Bradley cut you down or shred through your clothes? (also from the chibi omake theater skits)
Isaac: ... Rather have Bradley cut me down.
4. Hughes- would your rather be crushed by a giant hammer or be sent flying by powerful punch? (I'm referring to two other characters voiced by Hughes' English voice actor, Sonny Strait: Usopp from One Piece, and Apachai from Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple)
Hughes: Sent flying. I think I'd live that way.
Me: Aha I remember Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple... Huh... Next up it's justaguest!
hughes would you rather watch roy burn all your family pictures or live without meeting gracia?
Hughes: That's just horrible! I can't imagine living without my wife and my daughter! ... Yeah, Roy can burn my pictures. I have copies for a reason!
Mustang: That is why I never burn his pictures.
Hughes: YOU BURNED MY ELYSIA PICTURES LAST TIME!
Mustang: I remember no such thing.
Hughes: YOU'RE EVIL, ROY!
Mustang: Love you too, Hughes.
i hope you did well on your finals, my queen!
Me: Thank you, my dear :D Here's poisoned lama!
Hya peoples! And Truth, quick question for Roy Ed and All
Ed, why is it that you grew taller in brotherhood but not in the 2003 anime?
Ed: ... I DIDN'T GROW?!
Me: -snickers- Well to be fair, Winry never hooked you up with lighter automail like she did in Brotherhood. That kind of helped you grow. I think you grew in the movie though...
Ed: I didn't grow... I didn't grow?!
Me: ...
Mustang, what would you rather do, jump off a cliff or face father blind
Mustang: ... Hm... I've faced Father blind before...
Ed: But you weren't alone.
Mustang: You're right. But none of us could defeat him alone.
Father: You humans stood no chance alone.
Ed: We still kicked your ass.
Mustang: ... Yeah, I'll face him again, as long as I have Hawkeye by my side.
Me: They never said you couldn't.
Mustang: There we go.
And lastly Al, JUST HOW MANY ANIMAL'S COULD YOU HIDE IN YOUR OLD ARMOR!?
Al: ... Erm...
Ed: ... Al?
Al: Enough to cover that pit... -points at pit of cats-
Ed: Dammit, Al!
Al: Um... here's bad wolf!
AHHH! EVIL PALM TREE! oh wait...that's just Envy...never mind!
Envy: You're next on my list!
Me: You have quite the fans.
Truth, do you think that pride might have stolen your type of power? I mean come on your ability's Are so much alike its scary.
Truth: -shrugs- He probably did.
Pride: I was created with these abilities.
Winry, why do you only throw wrenches at Ed? Why not screwdrivers or other tools? (Sorry Ed)
Ed: DONT GIVE HER IDEAS!
Winry: The wrench is the heaviest of my tools that won't kill him.
Me: ... That is a big ass wrench though...
And finishing off with Nina (she is allowed to get questions right?)
Me: Yes she is.
Why didn't you run when you realized you were a chimera!?
Nina: I... I was scared... And it hurt...
...
Ed: ... -gets up and hugs her tight-
...
...
...
...
Me: ... -grabs Hawkeye's gun and shoots Tucker's already dead body- Sorry, Lieutenant.
Hawkeye: It's fine.
Mustang: ... Moving on... here's adalmiina-alexandra
Winry - Would you rather be a topless all the time or be a pantless all the time?
Winry: Hm... pantless.
Everyone: What?!
Ed: YOU ACTUALLY ANSWERED?!
Winry: -shrugs- I can always wear dresses.
Everyone: ...
Me: Nice save.
Edward - Would you rather drink a glass of year-old milk or lick the toilet clean?
Ed: Both are disgusting... but... -sighs- milk.
Mustang: Ew...
Ed: Shut up, bastard.
Envy - Would you rather shave your hair and eyebrows or color them pink?
Envy: ... I'd rather turn into the shrimp and color them pink.
Ed: WHAT!
Envy: Better yet... turn into the Colonel and shave his uneven hair and his eyebrows.
Mustang: HEY! My hair is just fine, thank you very much.
Me: ... -snickers- His hair is uneven. -laughs-
Mustang: Shut up, you witch.
Alphonse - Would you rather stub your toe or get a papercut?
Al: Papercut. Pain lasts less.
Me: Cons of having a normal body.
Al: I know, but still... we worked hard to get here.
Me: Well, I guess that is all the questions for today. Tha-
Ed: WAIT!
Me: What?!
Ed: How much time do we have?
Me: Um... a little more. Why?
Ed: The Madame was going to tell us a story, remember?
Me: Oh yeah!
Madame Christmas: -smirks- I'll tell you about Roy-boy's first trasmutation.
Mustang: WHAT?! I don't remember agreeing to this!
Me: Shut it, Roy-boy. Go on, Madame.
Mustang: Why me?
Madame Christmas: When he was young, he wanted to make some figurines for my girls. He said that the perfect man had to treat a woman like a queen.
Ed: Did he think he was going to be a perfect man by giving them gifts?
Mustang: I was young, okay!
Ed: Ah, so this did happen?
Madame Christmas: He destroyed my floor in the process. And he couldn't fix it. I had to hire someone to fix it for me.
Mustang: I said I was sorry!
Madame Christmas: You still owe me money for fixing that floor, young man. Not to mention you owe me another bar, like you said you were.
Mustang: I haven't had the time, Madame.
Madame Christmas: You had the time to look for a hairclip for that lovely woman of yours.
Mustang: Madame..
Hawkeye: Huh?
Ed: Someone has a crush...
Mustang: You mean how you have a crush on your mechanic.
Ed: ... -blushes- Shut up! At least I had the guts to tell her!
Mustang: By using alchemic terms?!
Me: There they go again... -hides face in hands- We must continue this Mustang baby story next time... when these two are restrained...
Thanks for coming folks! Next segment is back to basics! Hope to see you all then!
Me: -singing like a moron-
Let it go, let it go
When I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway
Mustang: What the fuck are you singing?
Me: ... Don't judge me! Hmm... Theultimatenerd43 gave me an idea. Hey, Roy, should I write a Sue!fic? :D
Mustang: What the hell is a Sue!fic?
Me: Erm... it's a... erm... interesting fic.
Mustang: ... Well it's up to you. As long as it doesn't involve me doing weird things.
Me: ... Fine. -smirks deviously-