Maybe… maybe not.

Sheppard had been sitting in that chair, for five long minutes, without uttering a single word.

Heightmeyer tried to guess, from that silence, why the colonel was sitting in her office.

"Listen, colonel, I know that it must have taken you a lot to come here by your own volition… but if you don't say at least why you are here, I can't help you." Although she did have an idea of the reason, she wanted to hear it from Sheppard himself.

The words came out fast at first: "Okay, so maybe it has something to do with Rodney…"

The psychologist rose an eyebrow and started to write something in her notebook that John couldn't see.

"I think the friendship we had, it's… changing" the man declared sadly.

The psychologist hummed and then asked bluntly: "Do you like those changes or not?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, it's simply to help you understand the situation." She paused for a second. "Those changes that you are talking about, what are they? Is it something big?"

Sheppard sighed. "It's just that… since Alexander appeared, Rodney hasn't been acting like he always had. It's like we can't fool around anymore… and there's the kid that's always around me, like… like he wants me to act a certain way." His eyes locked with the psychologist, desperate to understand.

Heightmeyer nodded. "Yes, colonel. All of this can be very confusing." Writing more notes, she added: "Now, let's talk a bit about Alexander first: how do you feel toward him?"

The man scowled. "I guess I could say that I feel the need to protect him, like he's fragile or something. But at the same time, I don't really want him here… I know it sounds a lot selfish" he said, looking outside the window. "But it's dangerous around here, not a place for a kid, ya know."

The woman nodded and asked: "Do you feel a connection with Alexander, since he's with you most of the time?"

Sheppard wondered where she was going with that. He frowned: "I know that sometimes he looks at me with that strange look… otherwise, no, there's no connection that I'm aware of."

"I see. I think what Alexander is searching for is the connection that links a mother to her child-"

"-and how do you want me to have this?!" Sheppard cut in. "I'm not his damn mother!" he said, gripping the arms of the chair with his hands.

Heightmeyer wanted to calm down the atmosphere: "It's fine John. I just wanted to tell you that this connection cannot be in this universe, because you are not the 'other' John Sheppard."

The colonel put his face in his hands and said, with a muffled voice: "I know." He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. "I think that there's too much going on right now. That's all."

"It's normal. Someone of your rank has a lot on their mind." Heightmeyer then tried to bring up another subject. "You said that your friendship with Rodney changed… is there …" she hesitated to choose the next words, "…something more?"

Sheppard looked reluctantly at the woman facing him. Before saying anything, he had to get something cleared first: "Everything that I'm about to say, stays here… right? In this office, between you and me?"

Heightmeyer smiled politely. "Of course, colonel. You are under the protection of medical confidentiality. The military won't know a thing about what you're going to tell me," she rose her eyebrow, "unless you have suicidal or homicidal tendencies?"

Sheppard immediately shook his head. "No, nothing like that."

"Good, then. Go ahead, and we'll try to understand what's going on together." She put her hand on John's, to reassure him.

The man stared back at her blankly. "I… don't know where to start."

Sitting back into her bulky armchair, Heightmeyer simply hummed. "Would you like me asking you questions, then?"

"No… It's okay, I think I know where to start. You see… I think that Rodney has been weird ever since he saw that video of his alternate self…" He then paused.

"But, John, I think that it would be better if we talked about yo-"

"-I'm getting there" John cut her. After she motioned him to continue, he simply added: "I think the most recent event… yes. I think it was at the Christmas party… we were at Jeannie's place…"

----- Flashback -----

All were sitting in the living room: Alexander and Madison were drawing; the adults were catching up on what had happened since they last saw Jeannie, when she had been kidnapped by Henry Wallace. Caleb had urged them to sit down and talk together while he checked on his tofu turkey.

However, the inevitable question popped up: "So… who's the boy?" the curly-haired woman said, looking questionably at her brother, then at the colonel.

Rodney and Sheppard exchanged a glance, and then the Canadian admitted: "He's my son, Jeannie."

"What!?" The woman looked at the boy drawing, on the floor and then looked back at her brother: "Meredith! How come you never told me?" the woman finished her sentence with a hurt tone. "How come you were able to hide him all this time? He must be four or something like that…" She then gasped: "How come his mother's not here?" stopped there, not sure if she wanted the answer.

Again, the two men from Atlantis shared a look, not sure how to bring up the subject.

So, bluntly, Rodney announced: "This is Alexander's mother" and pointed at Sheppard.

For the first ten seconds, there was silence. These were soon over and then Jeannie exploded in exclamation: "What? How did that happen!!... Oh I mean, I'm happy for you two… well, yes!" A lot of emotions crossed her features, but she settled with a shy smile.

Caleb came into the living room to see what was going on. "Is there something wrong, honey?"

Rodney completely ignored his brother-in-law and almost screamed at his sister: "WHAT!? No! That's not what you were supposed to say!"

Jeannie frowned. She threw her hands in the air and scoffed: "Oh yeah? Then what was I supposed to say?! I mean-"

"-Aren't you normal?! Anyone would have laughed and said something like 'Oh very funny, Rodney! Stop kidding now, where's the mom?'" Rodney near-shouted, trying to understand why Jeannie didn't have the same reaction as everybody else.

As the said woman was going for another round of shouting at Rodney, John got up and quickly cut in, trying to act as a mediator: "Okay! Let's calm down now!" He looked at his friend: "Rodney, you shouldn't have said it that way." He then turned to Jeannie: "Look… please calm down, we'll explain."

Seeing that the woman gave up and motioned him to talk, the colonel took a deep breath. "What Rodney said isn't entirely true: Yes, Alexander is indeed our son,"

As soon as he paused, Jeannie tried to ask questions, so he continued his explanation: "However, he's our son… in an alternate dimension. So that's why you didn't hear about him until now. He's only been with us for a few months."

Jeannie again tried to speak, but before any could be said, Rodney warned her: "We don't know much about this other universe… other than me being his father and Sheppard here," he smiled mockingly, "our dear son's mother."

John replied with a fake smile: "Why thank you, Rodney, for that beautiful explanation." If the scientist would have been able to read between the lines, he would have understood something more like 'I'm so gonna get you back for this'; but sadly, Rodney couldn't read between the lines.

"Okay, since no one's really paying attention to what I say, I'll be in the kitchen" Caleb said with a troubled expression.

Jeannie, however, still couldn't compute a detail. "So… you two aren't really together?"

----- End of Flashback -----

"Yes, this got me thinking."

"Is there a reason why you ask yourself these questions?" Heightmeyer asked.

"Well… it seemed as though she thought that we were together… I dunno, maybe I'm wrong." Sheppard put his hands in his face in shame: "Gosh I feel like a school girl… trying to see something that's definitely not there."

"John, don't talk like this. You came here to discuss, so you could understand better your emotions." The psychologist then crossed her legs and readjusted her notebook on her lap. "Is there anything else that got you to ponder on the subject?"

Sheppard didn't need a lot of time before another event brought back uncomfortable memories. He closed his eyes for a minute, trying to find how he would put this into words without it appearing too weird… "Well, the beginning was filled in by Teyla, because I don't remember getting to there in the first place…"

----- Flashback -----

The team was in the infirmary, waiting for John to wake up. He had been injured during their last mission and he was stable, though unconscious. Even though Beckett didn't like having all these people present, he knew that they cared deeply for the military man and he let them stay as long as they kept quiet.

Ronon and Teyla didn't have any problems respecting the infirmary's rules, but Rodney was another matter. He kept on babbling that they should have listened to his warning and then everyone would be okay... especially John. "Dammit, how am I going to explain this to Alexander?"

Teyla gently put her hand on his: "Don't worry Rodney, the colonel got shot and lost a lot of blood… let him rest a bit. He'll be fine."

The scientist mumbled something but let it go.

Rodney would check on Sheppard, every five minutes or so, to make sure he wouldn't miss something happening.

Half an hour later, Alexander came running in, out of breath. "Daddy??" he said, with some tears in his blue eyes. Jumping in his father's arms, he asked: "Is mommy gonna be alright?" He then looked up, hope written all over his young face. He sniffed and dried his tears the best he could with his sleeve.

"Of course I'm okay" John said with a groan. "Gosh, those lights are bright" he said, trying to sit up.

"Mommy!"

Teyla spoke quickly: "Colonel, you shouldn't try to sit, you are wounded in your leg and torso. Try to take it easy while I get Dr Beckett. I'll be back in a minute" and walked away.

Ronon smirked slightly: "Good to see you'll survive." And with that, he patted the colonel's foot and left, saying he had "some marines to train".

As for Alexander, he didn't waste time to climb up on the bed and hug John, with great carefulness of course. "I missed you, mommy."

At that, John rolled his eyes, but answered anyway: "Yeah, me too, buddy."

Rodney sighed with relief, but was surprised when the boy sat back and straightened his back.

"Mommy, daddy," Alexander said, with the most serious tone in the world. He looked at both men, looking not much like a four-year-old, but more like a business man: "I know it's not really the time to talk about this,"

Rodney then shot a glance at Sheppard, trying to understand what their son was going to announce them, but the other man just shrugged.

"… you see, my birthday is in a little more than a month, and I know what I want as a present." He paused, but didn't let any of the two men add anything. "I won't be picky: I want either a little sister or a little brother." He then nodded to himself, happy with the formulation of his demand.

A muffled laugh coming from Beckett and Teyla were the only sound heard, before the two 'parents' exclaimed a loud "WHAT!?" at the same time.

---

After the whole incident, Beckett had declared that the colonel would be fine, but was staying in the infirmary for at least 24 hours to be monitered.

Alexander, after assessing his 'mother's' health went to the mess hall with Teyla for dinner.

Rodney was still sitting at Sheppard's side and seemed to want something. So, the military man rose an eyebrow. "Yes, Rodney?" he inquired.

The Canadian hesitated a bit, then admitted: "Poor Alexander, he must feel alone here, on Atlantis, without kids of his age…"

Sheppard immediately glared at the other: "Mc~kay" he warned, "if you are thinking what I think you're thinking, forget about it. He's NOT getting a 'little brother'."

"I know, just kidding" Rodney snickered. He got up and patted John's shoulder: "I'll be going, got scientists to yell at. You know, the usual stuff."

----- End of Flashback -----

"I think that I do understand that Alexander can be lonely sometimes, but it's not like we can do anything about it."

Heightmeyer agreed: "Of course, John, he came here unexpected. As you said earlier, this is not a place for children."

The military man bit his lip, trying to find another good example of how Rodney and his' friendship has taken a weird turn. "Well… there's also this time. We were eating dinner in the mess hall. There was lemon pie for dessert…"

----- Flashback -----

Sitting on the plastic chair, the boy was swinging his legs. "I love lemon pie!" he exclaimed.

Teyla smiled: "Yes, it is good indeed."

One could guess the reaction from Rodney, who was also sitting at that table. "What?! Alexander! You can't like citruses. I'm allergic to them!" Feigning humiliation, he turned to face Sheppard, "are you sure you didn't cheat on me? Because my son can't like citruses!"

Everyone around them started to laugh.

John, not knowing what to say, just got up and left. He couldn't stand the others laughing.

"Sheppard, wait!" Rodney got up to catch the other man.

----- End of Flashback -----

He stared blankly in front of him.

"John?" Heightmeyer inquired, seeing that the event had affected him more than he let on. "How did that make you feel?"

"I… don't know. Angry… humiliated… " Stopping there, Sheppard got up brusquely. "Errr… Thanks Kate, but I have to go," he said, putting his usual flyboy smile, "got some stuff to finish before we go back on off-world missions."

Heightmeyer didn't try to talk John into staying; she knew that their little conversation would bear its fruit. "Of course, John." She smiled: "I understand how busy the head of military can be."

She accompanied him to the door of her office: "See you soon, John." And before he could contradict her or answer anything else, she shooed him outside and closed the door. There. He had no choice but to return.

Outside, in the hallway, John released the breath he had been holding. He started to understand a bit better his emotions, but the solution wasn't coming to him. With that, he walked his quarters to change his clothes; maybe a little run will help to clear his mind.

Oh damn, time goes by so fast!!!! Sorry guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, which is the second to last one. I really think this chapter sucked bad, as well as the one before... Oh well. Reviews are welcomed :)