Lady of the Baratie

A girl in the middle of a boring date at the Baratie

The pre-meal drink of sparkling wine settled the stomach, along with the appetizer of fresh ham and fruits. Yes, it was delicious. The first course was a seafood tomato soup, which had excellent acidity.

If you turned to look out the window, good weather and a calm ocean would be spread out before you and you could hear the far-off seagulls' voices, soothing away the wear and tear of land on the heart. It was good flavors and a good location. Yes, it's been a while since I've come here, but Baratie really is the best! …However, in regards to today, I couldn't enjoy letting it all go, as there was just one thing hindering my full enjoyment─

Speaking of that, it was this man I was seated at the table with.

"Mmm, well, this here isn't a half bad restaurant. When I saw it, I felt that they wouldn't use bad alcohol or ingredients. Aah, but the restaurant I know is recommended more and, well, graded considerably higher than this one, but aah, the owner there and I, we know each other, so, aah, if I asked, we could get a reservation there, you know…"

"Huh, oh, is that right?" was the misleading reply as I used my napkin to hide a sigh.

This guy who would not shut up about himself was my dining partner today (it wasn't a date, just business over a meal, I'd like to emphasize!). The trigger for getting acquainted with him was probably talking to him at some party, or something like that I think. Since then, he's persistently asked me out for dinner or lunch, even though I continued to turn him down every time, except this time I said "Ok" in defeat, and that was my mistake.

Because I didn't feel like going out to eat anywhere, he at least let me pick where we were going, so after being kept away and not coming here for a while, we had a reservation at the Sea Faring Restaurant, Baratie, so today was the day I returned, but…

Allback decided to go with rich hair dressing, and he had a golden handkerchief in the chest pocket of his deep red suit. Whatever you say, this man repeated everything. He was dense. And his blathering usually contained something like:

"This singer I know─"

"This building I own─"

"My dog that cost 600,000 beri─"

'My story.'* It was brags on parade. If I press those fancy cufflinks like a button, I don't suppose that'll mute your story, I bitterly thought. The long awaited Baratie. Even though it's been so long since I've been to Baratie, with this self-important Allback** as my dinning partner, half the charm of this place was lost.

Right now, before my eyes, he was expanding on the story of "The movie that my Aniki's*** wife's little sister is in."

But I should have worn invisible earplugs to shut out his voice. I turned my attention back to the meal.

And that's when I suddenly noticed it. You see, today's Baratie was somewhat quiet─ well besides Mr. Self-important before me.

Casually looking around inside the restaurant, I knew the reason why.

It was true. He wasn't here.

Always chain smoking tobacco and wearing a black suit, that waiter─ no, he was called the sous-chef, right?

I couldn't find the figure of Sanji today.

Before his cooking skills, he was known as a master of chatting up the female customers, a famous man from the Baratie.

Speaking for myself, I was seduced by Sanji not just once or twice. Not just three or four times either.

Oh, what a beautiful lady! This is your first time coming here, right? What's this, you're alone today? We can't have that. Shall I have a glass of wine with you after your meal?

Eat this sherbet quickly, please. It could easily melt from the heat with which I gaze at you, you know.

Oh? You work as a clothes designer! I'd love it if you'd design a suit for me too! You want to take my measurements now? I should take my clothes off? I really should take them off?

He was a foppish, dumbass, pervert. But he was a man you couldn't hate anything about either. In addition, it wasn't his arms', but his legs' strength that was famous.

Baratie saw a variety of customers coming in. including those with bad manners. If their manners were bad enough, Sanji would land a powerful kick on those customers' table, or to the customers themselves. I saw it once. A big guy, drunkenly shouting and reaching out to take the neighboring table's food, fell victim to Sanji's leather shoes, getting laid out on the floor.

Please be damn quiet, sir─

Well, if he's not here, he's not here. Though as the person who seduced me every time, a Baratie without Sanji didn't feel quite as satisfying.

"─just like that! It's a masterpiece, right?"

When Self-important Allback made a grim face unexpectedly, I backed away without thinking. This is bad, this is bad. I reflexively jabbed my fork at his forehead.

The story seemed to have struck me and he was waiting for my reaction. Ah, at a time like this, Sorry, you're going deaf from this shit─ if that was said, it would be nice, but…

"Truly! A masterpiece! Aha-ha" This was the reality.

"Really, some customers have no manners," Mr. Self-important Allback mumbled, having returned from the restroom. "There's customers smoking in the seats around us. Smoking during a meal makes the cooking's flavor hard to distinguish and more importantly, it bothers the surrounding customers. I say people who smoke are the biggest idiots. You think so too, right?"

"Yes, well…"

That remark may be right, but if I had to say that, I'd have to say the same about your poor taste in cologne with you wearing too much! I want to toss you into the sea for a good scrub down right now! Though I of course, kept that refute in my heart.

With the recent main dish (Elephant True Bluefin sautéed in olive oil. Rich flavor! Delicious!) of our course meal over, they brought out dessert. Later, while drinking coffee or a post-meal alcoholic beverage and enjoying the flow of the meal as it finishes… or we were supposed to, but I was at the limits of my patience sharing a table with this self-important Allback. It's no good, I changed my mind…

"Need to use the restroom? Take your time."

I left my napkin in my chair and stood up, while Mr. Self-important sent me a wink. I reluctantly smiled (inside I was blowing a raspberry at him) in return and left my seat.

Instead of going to the restroom, I went out on the deck.

I thought I'd try searching for Sanji out here too, but as expected, I couldn't find him.

Leaning against the hand rail, I could here the steam whistle of a distant merchant ship and the ever present wind that was already here today bit at me. As my sigh gently rode away on the sea breeze─ with a thunk a shadow appeared to my left.

A ridiculously long chef's hat and a braided mustache. The thunk was the sound of his peg leg against the deck. The owner of the Baratie and head chef, Zeff, was standing next to me. We exchanged greetings as equals, as we'd done this countless times before.

Zeff folded his arms and grumpily stared into the distance. To this Zeff I asked, "Are you on your break?" though it seemed he longed for a conversation that wasn't so thin.

As Zeff stared at the sea, he answered, "…No, it's a little investigation."

"Investigation…"

"Yep. …if today's wind is dry or damp, hot or cold, and using your own skin to find out is best, seeing as it effects our cooking preparations."

You can't cook just by staying in the kitchens, Zeff's small laugh seemed to say.

"… you on a date tonight, miss? It seems you came with a man, but…?"

"Ah, well, that…"

I got flustered. Today wasn't a date, just a mere meeting over a meal, I tried to continue with, yet I slightly missed the timing for those words to be believable, so I couldn't continue. I changed the subject.

"… is Sanji-san on vacation today?"

"Sanji?" Zeff said lazily, looking towards me. "Yeah, if it's him you want, I'm afraid he's out. ─ until he finds All Blue."

"All Blue?"

I blinked at him and Zeff gave a thin laugh as if he'd solved a puzzle.

"Miss, you don't read newspapers much, do you? That brat Sanji is part of a pirate crew right now. Straw Hat Luffy, who aims to be the Pirate King, a part of his crew. You've heard of them before, right?"

The Straw Hat Pirates. I knew just the name, not any more details. That's why I was frankly surprised. It couldn't be, that womanizer, in a pirate crew…

"Them, Sanji-san won't be here for a while?"

"Yep, he won't be here. Not until the Straw Hats' adventure is over."

"Is that… so?" I said, surprised by the unexpected dip in tone of my reply. I continued in a panicked voice, "But wouldn't that make everyone lonely? Right? Because Sanji-san is a lively person."

"Lonely? Don't say something so stupid." Zeff let fly a laugh. "It's a relief to not have that silly eggplant here. After all, he was just a 'nuisance' walking around in clothes."

At Zeff's speech, I let out a huff. He made it seem like wherever Sanji went there was trouble.

But as Zeff was talking, he left the handrail.

"That brat, even after he's gone, he still causes us trouble."

"Even after he's gone?"

I listened for a reply, but Zeff had already headed back inside the restaurant through the door without continuing the conversation.

Returning to my seat, I got a surprise.

"Um… what's this?"

"My feelings for you, please accept it."

On top of the table were those feelings ─a big jewel set in a ring─ was nestled in its case as I let out a grown and stared at it.

"Ah, it doesn't have any particularly deep meaning! It's just, I wanted for us to make this a wonderful time together, so this should commemorate our first time together." And then he winked.

No, no… nonono… I pressed my hand to my forehead.

"Oi oi oi! Are you so happy you're crying? Well, I said it!"

That's not it! …it's no good, I thought, trembling.

I was suddenly given a ring as a present on the first date (not a date, a meeting over a meal!). Moreover, that ring is like a gossips' murder weapon. …really, I don't need it, this ring or this person.

And then, it came to my exhausted mind, the memory of the "jewel" Sanji presented to me.

It was some time when I came for lunch, I looked at the menu and ordered a wine, but the menu was mistaken and it was out of stock.

At that time, Sanji, as an apology, served me a Fruit Macedonia.

If you don't mind, have this. You're radiance and freshness are beyond measure, but─

Aside from the flattery, as his cigarette smoke wafted, he brought over the Macedonia, who's glass vessel, arrangement, fruits' coloring, all of it refined. It was like looking at a jewelry box.

Without a thought I was absolutely fascinated by that time's "jewels" and the glittering jewel on the table now. The prices were worlds apart, but how it resounded in my heart was also worlds apart.

"Won't you accept it?"

Accept it, Mr. Self-important's face said as he waited for my answer.

I took a breath, as I'd have to declare it after all. That─

But my words were drowned out by a loud bam! It was the sound of one of the doors to the deck being kicked open.

As they rushed into the store like an avalanche, it only took one glance to know these people were pirates. Their fiery faces were distorted in a fierce manner as they carried weapons in their hands. At the sudden inrush of people, the customers near the door screamed and scattered while the cooks came flying out of the kitchen.

"What is it? What's going on?"

"Do we have 'guests'?"

A cook with a shaved head and a twisted rope headband and a cook wearing sunglasses stood at the front.

Patty and Carne. I knew those two's names because I'd seen them fight with Sanji countless times.

"Awa… hawawa…"

If you were wondering who that shaking voice belonged to, it was Mr. Self-important right before my eyes. The poor thing was white as a sheet, mouth gaping like a fish and half fallen out of his chair.

But how strange. Certainly this person, who said things like "When I was young I did boxing and KO'd three, no, seven pirates, in one hit," and other tales that seemed to tout his bravery couldn't be…

There were roughly a dozen pirates, and the supposed leader ─a man with a mohawk─ kicked over a nearby table, angrily shouting, "Cooks! Bring out all your food and booze! Right now!" Then he added with a wicked grin, "Resistance is futile. Don't you know? That monstrously strong bastard Sanji isn't here, right?"

"So what if he's not here, you bastards?!"

"You poor cooks hit as hard as flowers!"

Patty and Carne let out angry cries, pulling giant forks rom their position on their backs.

Clunk, hearing the sound of Zeff's peg leg, the crowd of cooks parted. Zeff steadily came forwards and looked at the pirates, letting out a snort.

"…hmph. Another hold up? How bothersome. You think that if Sanji's not at the Baratie we'd be easy to attack and crush?"

"Red Leg Zeff, huh… What can an old-fashioned ex-pirate do?" Mohawk returned in a strong voice, yet for a moment I saw fear flash across his face and voice.

That's the Owner's presence for you, I thought. And while admiring that, So that's the way it is. I knew the answer to the recent mystery ─how Sanji not being here could cause trouble.

In other words, those who wanted to steal from the Baratie saw Sanji's absence as a chance, leading to frequent assaults. If Sanji was here, they might not come, but they still had to clear out these troublesome guys.

Zeff continued, "If you're a paying customer, we'll bring out as much food and drink as you like. If you're not, get out of here."

"Heh, and if I say I'll pay in advance. Like this…" As Mohawk said this, he pulled out a pistol from his waist.

"Is that so?" Zeff said with a nod, waving the cooks beside him forward. "… take out the trash, boys."

The Owner's words became the signal for the fight to begin.

The fight was finished in no time at all.

Whether it was because the pirates were weak or the cooks were string or both, within a few minutes all of the pirates were beaten and tossed back out to sea.

Ah, incidentally 'I KO'd seven pirates in one hit' Mr. Self-important withdrew the ring and ran away as soon as the fighting started. I didn't have the time to say sayounara****, but whatever.

The cooks were used to battle, and the restaurant's recovery process as well. They set to work replacing the broken tables and chairs with new ones. No thanks were spoken for watching the fight, but I helped right the knocked over tables. Then Zeff spoke to me, "Sorry about that, miss. We ruined your nice date."

I looked back at him and Zeff grinned. "It's fine. I was going to kick him to the curb today anyways. Besides, I was lucky to see the 'Fighting Cooks' up close today, living up to their name."

Zeff laughed. "Hmph, you're taking it pretty well, miss. The guy you came with though was a strange one."

As he lightly asked in return where my partner had disappeared off to, I saw that face that floated in the back of my mind.

─the chain smoking sous-chef.

It's not possible, to shake it off, once I hit that image, I can't erase it. My heart rate sped up a little bit.

Zeff continued, "Well, this is the Baratie. Stuff like today happens all the time. Anyways, next time bring a tougher fellow with you."

"I might. But how does coming without a partner sound?" I said, this time with an air of mystery ─while surprised by my own boldness.

To not come with someone. All because I wanted to wait in this restaurant to meet that person.

Zeff scratched the back of his neck, but he didn't try to figure me out.

Translation Notes

The * point

This is "Ore no hanashi" as in the guy's story, as he pretty much works 'ore' (I, me, etc.) into every bit.

The ** point

This is "Ore-sama Allback" and using 'sama' as an honorific on yourself is self-aggrandizing, so 'self-important' is what I went with.

The *** point

Left as 'aniki' because it can be a literal older brother, or like how Johnny and Yosaku and all the Franky Family use it, a title of respect towards a guy you find socially higher than you and/or like a big brother.

The **** point

Left it as the Japanese sayonara (good bye) because (at least American) English has adopted sayonara for the phrase "sayonara, suckers" and as a general dismissive goodbye while she was honestly probably glad to see him go.