Thanks for the reviews guys!

Sorry if i angered some of you with a big shocker at the end of the previous chapter, but don't forget that this rollercoaster has not ended yet. It's far from the end.

:)

DISCLAIMER: Characters etc. belong to Richelle mead. Except for this little story here!

-Deni

I stared at her with my mouth almost falling to the floor. This was wrong, it was just all wrong. She picked up the clothes she was going to buy and turned back to look at me. I quickly closed my mouth before she could see how surprised I was.

"So… what do you think?" She asked again. I didn't know what I thought. I was feeling all sorts of emotions, hurt, betrayal, anger… but I couldn't take them out on her. She was my best friend, but not only that, she was my charge. I clenched my fists and took a deep breath.

"Well… why Dimitri?" I asked her, not looking into her eyes.

"I've just… you know… I've always thought that he was attractive." She said sounding embarrassed. That caught my attention; I looked at her and saw that she was smiling. I felt like wiping that smile off her face, but no, all that that would do is raise more questions. Lissa hadn't known about Dimitri and me anyway, so I couldn't blame her. I sighed. I had to try and hide my true feelings about all this.

"I think that you and Dimitri will be good together." I lied, but she couldn't see through it.

"Goody! I'm going to ask him to come with me to the ball!" She opened the change room door and I followed behind her.

"Funny thing is that Adrian asked me." I said, trying to strike up a new conversation.

"So what did you say?" She gave the clothes to the cashier and took out her wallet.

"I told him no. I'm on duty Lissa."

"But you can get off of it! I'll ask the Queen! He could ask the Queen!" She said turning to look at me.

"No, it's fine. Your safety is more important than me dancing around with Adrian." Well, that was a small part of the reason why I didn't want to go. The other part was because, I wasn't ready for a man in my life, and it would take time for me to heal from the wound in my heart. I literally felt like there was a hole inside of me, like some sort of tightness in my chest that made me feel like I couldn't breathe.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned around. My eyes met emerald ones, hurt emerald ones. He must've heard what I had said and I felt a pang of regret.

"Are you ready?" He asked Lissa and me. I could tell that he was having some difficulty with looking at me and that made my heart ache a little more.

She nodded and I looked away from Adrian, only to meet the eyes of a certain Russian. He looked away and I briefly saw Lissa running to his side before I looked down at the ground, ashamed.

"Hi Dimitri." I heard Lissa say.

"What is it princess?" Dimitri replied.

"I was wondering… would you like to be my date for the ball?" She asked anxiously. I didn't dare to look up and I didn't want to hear what his reply was so I turned around and covered my ears with my hands. But I still heard a muffled 'Ok princess'.

I could feel a tear running down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away with my hand. I looked up at the cashier and took Lissa's bag of clothes while faking a smile. I turned back around and walked towards the rest of our group. Adrian was walking beside me, but he didn't say a word. I would've moped around, but moping couldn't get me anywhere anyway, and I had to stay alert.

We walked back to the car in silence. I doubted that anyone besides Lissa wanted to talk. However she kept quiet.

The car ride was as awkward as ever. No one said anything, and the radio was turned off. The silence was somehow peaceful though, but if you looked at my entire situation, it was nothing close to peaceful.

We were back at the Royal Court and we all got out of the car.

"Back at the court at last! Wasn't that fun guys?" Lissa finally broke the awkward but somehow peaceful silence.

"I guess so." But what I really wanted to say was 'Yeah, for you it was.'

We all went our separate ways and Lissa and I were walking back to our rooms.

"So what was that about?" She asked me along the way.

"What?" I knew what she meant but I acted like I didn't know anyway.

"The silence in the car Rose, I'm your best friend, you can tell me." Well I wondered if she was going to stay my best friend if she and Dimitri really hit it off.

"Oh it was nothing... I just wanted to think." Which I did, but it led me to more confusion. She gave me a worried look before fidgeting with her keys and opening our door.

"By the way, where did Dimitri go?" She asked me and immediately brightened when she said his name.

"Oh… um… he went to get something to eat." I didn't want to talk about him anymore.

"So when exactly is this ball?" I asked her curiously. I wanted to know how long the wait was until I could see if I could get over Dimitri once and for all. Dimitri could move on with Lissa while I watched from the sidelines. It would be painful, but I had to be tough. I had to be Rose Hathaway.

"The day after tomorrow."

"Oh… no wonder you were in such a hurry to buy some new clothes." I said, trying to make her laugh, it worked.

"I only wish that you could join me on this evening Rose." She said as she put her bags next to a chair.

"I'll still be there though, just not enjoying it with you there." I said while putting my bags next to hers. There was a little bit of a double meaning there but she didn't seem to notice.

"Ok Rose. Well it's your choice." She said and then went into the bathroom.

The next day passed by quickly with me guarding the door outside Lissa's room for a few hours. Then I went into her room while Dimitri took my spot. We didn't even look at each other. Lissa was asking me about what accessories would match her dress and how she should do her hair and everything. Then it was my shift again to guard the outside with Dimitri. He seemed like he was about to say something but he stopped himself, several times. It was a pretty boring day.

At last, the day of the ball came. I woke up and went out my room to find Lissa already putting on her normal clothes while I was still in pyjamas.

"Good morning. I see you're up and early." I said while rubbing my eyes sleepily.

"Oh, I just can't wait to see Dimitri at the buffet." The Royal court didn't have shops but they had a morning buffet in the main hall which was pretty nice with food and feeders. They also had lunch and dinner services. We didn't use our kitchen that much, so we went to the buffet regularly.

"So it's your first date?" I asked not being able to look at her.

"Well not really, he's just guarding me as I go to the feeders. So you can sleep in if you want."

"No thanks." I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, knowing what they could be doing, flirting probably.

"Ok. Well I'll be back." She left the room.

I needed to wake myself up. I went back into my room and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I looked into the mirror and noticed that I had dark circles around my eyes. I had an almost sleepless night. I probably dozed off really late. I dried my face and looked at the clock. Lissa and I had a couple of hours before we went to the ball. The ball was going to be held in the Royal court's own ballroom. This building really almost had it all.

I went outside and pulled out my make-up bag from a small drawer in my mahogany bedside table. I didn't use make-up a lot now, but only if I needed to cover something up, like my dark circles.

I took out some foundation and powder and dabbed them around my eyes. Done, my eyes looked normal.

I went to my closet and pulled out a blue tank top and black tracksuit pants. I didn't need fashionable clothes to be happy like Lissa, I needed comfort, and I really needed it now. I put on my long coat and put my stake that was on my bedside table, into one of my large pockets.

Lissa still wasn't back yet. I went into her room and closed my door behind me. She had a big balcony and it was almost pitch black outside. I opened the glass door and stepped onto it. The fresh air hit me and I shuddered. The ice cold wind was sharp but calming. I closed the door behind me and put my hands onto the railing. I inhaled some deep breaths, calming myself further. I had to work today, while watching the man I loved, dancing with my charge that was also my best friend, and I couldn't do a thing. Just great.

Then I heard the door open behind me and figured it was Lissa. I didn't bother to look, but then I wished that I did. Two arms wrapped around my waist, arms bigger than Lissa's.

"Aren't you cold out here Rose?" It was Christian. Then it hit me. He still had the keys to Lissa's room.

"What are you doing?" I said while walking to the side and pushing his arms off.

"I'm just here to check if things are ok."

"Well they're not. First of all, why do you still have our keys?" He didn't answer.

"Give them to me. Now." I commanded. He gave in and reluctantly handed me the keys.

"That's a good fire boy." I praised him as a joke and he beamed.

"It all starts with cute nicknames." He said while winking, I instantly regretted my previous joke.

"What starts? Nothing is starting here Christian." I looked away from him and stared at the garden below us. The garden looked extraordinary under the moonlight.

"Actually, we started with a kiss." He said while leaning on the railing next to me. I moved further to the side.

"But that's it Christian. There is no 'we'." I said my voice bitter and stern. Before he could make a witty reply, there was a jingling coming from the door. The noise was someone finding the right key for the lock. Lissa was back.

I hope you liked it!

:)

REVIEWS ARE MORE THAN WELCOME!