DISCLAIMER: Resident Evil and all associated names and likenesses belong to Capcom. Used here without permission.

Thank Heaven For Little Girls
A Resident Evil story
(c) 2001, 2011 Mayumi.H, a.k.a. BonusParts

5 - Just Let It Out

"Sherry..."

Leon's voice comes to me through the closed window of the car, where I'm sitting in my nightgown. I look up, out the driver's side window, where he's leaning expectantly against the door. He's put some pants on, but other than that, he looks like he just rolled out of bed, which I guess he has. Claire's there, too, standing behind him, looking sheepish.

"Come on, Sherry," Leon says coaxingly. "Come back inside and we can talk."

I turn to the dull black steering wheel again. "I'm fine out here."

Leon sighs impatiently. "Don't be ridiculous. Now come on; it's cold out here, and I don't have any shoes on."

I cross my arms in front of my chest and sneer at him. "That's not my problem, now, is it?"

Leon wipes a hand over his face. Then he leans in close to the window and stares at me, muttering through clenched teeth. "Listen, young lady, I've had enough of this nonsense this morning. You've got two choices. You can either get out of that car and walk on your own two feet back to the hotel room, or so help me God, I will throw you over my shoulder and carry you back inside."

Claire steps forward now, and she puts a hand on Leon's arm. "Leon, really," she says softly, glancing around the parking lot. "Just cool down a little, huh?"

Leon shoots her an angry glance and snarls, "Back off, Claire."

"Yeah, back off," I echo, and I instantly regret saying that.

Both of them stare at me slack-jawed, and Claire even looks a little hurt. But it's Leon who's got my attention now.

"All right, that does it," he mutters. He hits something on the door of the car, and it unlocks, and before I know what's happening, he's flung the car door open and snatched the keys from the steering column. I've never seen him move so fast before, and he's never been this angry at me.

I can't help but feel a little guilty for causing all of this, but neither one of them has any right to tell me what to do. I can feel those angry, frustrated tears start to well up again, so I don't look at either Claire or Leon. All I can do is stare at the pavement, and at my own feet dangling from inside the car.

"Out," Leon says brusquely. "Now."

What am I going to do? Run for it? I slide out of the car and yank my nightgown back into place as it rides up from sticking to the seat for so long. I trudge forward, and, behind me, I can hear the car door close, and Claire talking in a low tone.

"Leon, I think you should know something before you -"

"Not now, Claire, please." Leon murmurs.

He overtakes me at the door to the hotel suite and opens it wide. "Go on," he says quietly.

When the three of us are back inside, Leon closes the door and points me toward the sofa. "Sit down, and don't move. I'll be right back." Then he turns and walks down the little hall to the bathroom.

I don't know what to say, so I sit gingerly on the edge of the cushion and hold my hands in my lap. I glance up at Claire, and she's looking back at me. She offers me a tiny smile. She might have sat next to me, or hugged me and told me it would be all right, like she did in Raccoon, if only I hadn't opened my big mouth before. Now I guess even she doesn't want to be with me.

Claire glances down toward the bathroom, then holds up a hand. "You wait here," she says softly. "I'll just be a second."

She pads down the hall, and I lean forward a little, to hear what's going on. There's the sound of water running in the bathroom sink. And then, above that, I can hear them talking:

"Leon," Claire says, "would you please calm down?"

"Are you trying to tell me I'm not the picture of restraint?"

She shushes him. "Look, just...don't be too hard on her, okay? She's going through a delicate phase."

"I don't understand why you're making excuses. You're the one she seems to have something against."

"Just go easy on her. All right?"

"Fine," Leon says quietly.

They start walking back toward me, so I scoot up toward the back of the sofa.

Leon sits down on the table in front of me. His hair is wet and pushed back a little, and there are a few drops of water on his chest. I stare at them, mostly because I can't look him in the face.

Claire sits on the sofa, not quite next to me since she seems so far away, but she is there. Suddenly, I'm sorry for saying all of those awful things to her. I want her to be with me, holding my hand, making everything seem not so horrible. At least if I had Claire on my side, Leon might not be so upset.

"Sherry."

I look up at Leon, and, surprisingly, he seems a lot calmer than he did a few minutes ago.

"What's going on?" Leon asks plainly, his voice quiet but sounding a little strained.

I shrug. "I don't know."

"Sherry-!" Leon's voice goes up in pitch and volume, but he's cut off by Claire.

"Leon..." Her voice is so strong, and so admonishing. Immediately, he backs down again.

Leon shakes his head, as if clearing away some of his frustration. "I think you do know," he says finally. "And I want you to tell me."

"Are we going to play good cop/bad cop?" I ask quietly.

Leon exhales quickly and slaps his hands on his thighs. "You want to be treated like an adult? Fine; that makes my job easier." Then he leans in toward me and says, harshly: "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"Leon," Claire says again.

"No!" Leon snaps at her, jumping up from his seat. I watch them go back and forth like this is a tennis match. "Claire, you should be as upset as I am."

Claire shakes her head. "If you would just give her a chance to explain -"

"Explain what? Her mood swings? She's done nothing but ignore you or treat you like shit since you got here!"

Claire stands up suddenly, too, matching him. "Leon! Just - shut - up."

They stare at each other for a long minute, neither one of them saying a word. Leon's breathing hard through his nose, like a bull on the rampage. But Claire just looks at him calmly. Her eyes never turn to me, but she starts to talk.

"Sherry," she says slowly, "we're both going to sit down, and then we're going to listen to what you have to say. Okay?" When I don't respond, Claire turns to look at me, and she gives me a very small, very gentle smile. "Okay, sweetie?"

I nod at her silently.

She turns back to Leon, and he holds up his hands in surrender. "All right, fine," he says, and sits down again.

Claire sits down on the sofa again, and this time she reaches in to take my hand. When I look into her gaze, it's soft and understanding. "Now, Sherry," she says soothingly. "Don't be scared. Just tell Leon what you told me. It'll be all right."

"I..." I start, looking down at my hand in Claire's. Then I look back at Leon. He's expectant; I can tell that he's trying hard to hide a lot of his frustration, but it doesn't help much. "I don't think I can do this," I mutter to Claire.

Now, Leon reaches over to put his hand over mine and Claire's. "Look, Sherry, I'm sorry I got so upset. It's just...it's a little hard to keep an even keel when the first thing you have to eat in the morning is a door." He lets go a long, low breath. "We're friends. I'd never do anything to hurt you; you know that."

"Me neither," Claire says softly. "I didn't run through Raccoon for nothing, you know."

"See?" Leon asks with a cautious smile. "We want to help you. But you have to tell us what's going on before we can do anything."

I stare at our hands, locked loosely together in my lap. How did I get myself into this? I never should have come from California; I should have just stayed with Aunt Kate. I could be sitting in the living room watching cartoons and eating Cocoa Puffs, instead of here in this mess I've made. All I wanted was to be with Leon; all I wanted was to spend some time with him. All I wanted was for him to know the way that I feel.

"Sherry?" Leon asks again.

"I'm in love with you!" I blurt loudly, then cover my mouth with my hands.

Leon sits there and blinks at me. Once. Twice. Three times. Then he says, very slowly, "What?"

It takes almost all of my willpower to pull my hands away from my face. "I said, I'm..." My voice drops to a tiny whisper. "...in love with you."

From the sudden look on Leon's face, I wish I could just shrink into the couch.

He hangs his head, slowly. "Ohh," he groans, holding his head with his hand. "Don't do this to me."

I want to say more, but I find that I can't. I don't know what's made everything so difficult. Maybe it's being the center of attention like this. Maybe it's having Claire sitting here right next to me. Maybe it's Leon's silence.

When he looks at me again, his face is confused, and apologetic. He takes a long time to form his next sentence, like he's searching for the right words. "Do you know what you just said?"

"Yes," I tell him. I try to sound confident, but I don't think it works. My voice squeaks somewhere in the middle of that little word, and despite all of my posturing, I feel like I'm five years old.

Leon shakes his head. "But do you know what that means?"

"It means...caring about somebody. And, and wanting them to be happy." I start to count the processes off on my fingers, as if that would add validity to my argument. "Respecting them, making sure they're safe, providing for them. All that stuff."

Leon folds his hands and rests his chin on them. He speaks very softly and slowly. "You're right, love is about all of those things. But there's a big difference between feeling love for someone, and actually being in love with that person." He starts to nod at me. "Do you know what I'm talking about?"

I shake my head.

"No," Leon murmurs, mostly to himself. "Of course not. I don't even know what I'm talking about." He puts his hands on his knees and drums his fingers nervously. "Okay!" He looks up at Claire desperately. "Help me out here, Claire; I'm sinking."

Claire chuckles and brushes a hand through my hair. "What I think Leon's trying to say is that...what you're feeling can be really strange, and it's not always easy to understand. There's no magical time when - poof! - it all suddenly makes sense. It's full of a lot of ups and downs, and sometimes we want something so badly that we don't see the whole picture too clearly."

I squint at her and mutter, "I still don't get it."

Leon pats me on the hand, and I turn to him. "Sherry," he begins, then breaks out into a grin. "I'm flattered; I really am! I think you're a fantastic girl. You're smart, you're talented, you're pretty." He puts a hand against my cheek, kind of like Aunt Kate does sometimes. "And you've been through a hell of a lot for somebody your age."

I sit back, fighting back my threatening tears. "You said age doesn't matter," I tell him, trying to keep my voice steady. "Is that what's bothering you? How old I am?"

Leon sighs, and I know from the way that he leans forward what his answer's going to be. He doesn't have to say it, but he does anyway. "I know it sounds...lame. But it does make a difference."

"What about Claire?" I counter, trying to regain ground. "She's younger than you are, too."

"That's different." Leon says quickly, offering the age-old excuse for not wanting to explain things.

I stick my chin out. "How? How is that different?"

Leon rolls his eyes, as if I should be able to read his mind. "Okay, let's just forget about the whole legal age of consent thing for the moment." He opens his hands, in some attempt to be non-threatening, I guess. "There are...certain things that I'm looking for in a relationship, that I just wouldn't ask of someone your age."

Oh, so that's it. "You're talking about sex, aren't you?" I ask dryly.

"No," Leon answers adamantly. Then he pauses, and his expression softens. "Well, yes. But there's more to it than that."

I can feel my heart beating faster. It's getting so loud than I can barely hear myself think, or speak. "So, Claire's better than I am, is that what you're saying?" I manage to get out through trembling lips.

Leon's voice is very steady, and his eyes don't waver; they barely even blink. "You're Sherry," he says with quiet conviction. "Claire is Claire. This isn't a contest for my affection."

"But you like her better than me," I mumble. The tears have started, slowly, and I start to wipe them away with the back of my hand.

"I never said that," Leon says insistently. "You're right that I have very strong feelings for Claire. I care about her very much." He reaches up and wipes a missed tear from my chin. "But that doesn't mean that I don't care about you, too. This isn't an all-or-nothing situation, Sherry. I don't know how else to explain it to you."

I just sit there, staring at my feet and fighting back my sobs. I can't look at him; there's something about his voice that's so desperate, it hurts just thinking about it. Dimly, I'm aware of Claire alternately stroking my hair and rubbing my shoulder.

Very softly, I hear Leon's voice: "Please don't be sad."

There's silence for what feels like a long time; maybe it's only a few seconds, but the knot in my throat makes it seem like several minutes. No one moves; I can't find the strength, and I think Leon and Claire are both too shocked or too depressed or just too much at a loss to do anything.

Finally, Leon mutters, "I think I need some coffee." He gets up and there's some fidgeting sounds. I can hear his jacket zipper fizzle as he zips it up, and then the door opens with a slight creak. "You gonna be okay?"

"I think so," Claire tells him.

"Sherry?" Leon asks again, gently.

I nod quickly, stifling a sob, but I can't help that a little bit of it comes out.

"I'll be back in a bit," he says softly, and then the door closes with a click.

I sit there silently for a moment, until Claire asks, "Are you okay?" and I can't hold it in anymore. I grab her arms and bury my head against her warm, comforting chest, sobbing and weeping against her.

"It huh-huh-hurts!" I cry, tasting the salt of my tears and snot in the back of my throat.

"I know," Claire says soothingly, rocking me back and forth slowly. "I know. Just let it out, sweetie." She strokes my hair and kisses the top of my head.

"I'm suh-suh-sorry, Claire!" I sob, still clutching her.

"That's okay, kiddo," she tells me quietly. "It's all part of being in love."

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, that's (almost) the story.

I wanted to paint a reasonably realistic picture of what a young girl's first unrequited love might be like. Nobody's meant to be a villain, here...and no one is quite a hero/heroine, either. They're just...human.

Thanks to those who have favorited, alerted, and commented! Your support is much appreciated. :)

NEXT TIME: Epilogue
No one like Leon, of course.