VI. Thor: the Dark World, Part 1
Bruce stood still as he tried to take in his surroundings. There were numerous aliens, composed of at least three different species, milling about, inflicting destruction upon the old buildings of Greenwich. A sense of deja vu overtook him as he watched Steve punch out aliens while ordering the London law enforcement to evacuate civilians. In a distance, one could see Thor battling another alien in the sky. Said sky had a very large portal open, and through it, one could see several planets/worlds. To top the absurdity of it all, he was holding a long pole, courtesy of Eric Selvig, which was supposed to help resolve the situation.
"Take a nice vacation, they said," Bruce grumbled. "It should be relaxing, they said."
Then he sighed. It sounded like such a good idea at the time…
oooo
Bruce supposed things were set into motion the afternoon when the Extremis business wrapped up. Fury, unsurprisingly, sent a couple of SHIELD agents to escort Steve and Bruce to the Triskelion. Tony insisted on joining, and neither agent could stop him. In the next hour, Bruce, Steve and Tony found themselves in Director Fury's office. Fury looked absolutely irate, especially when compared to Agents Hill and Sitwell, both who looked impassive.
"Dr. Banner said you were ill, Rogers," Fury began.
"That's absolutely true," Tony replied. "But you know that Nick. You verified this already. I know you did."
A vein on Fury's temple bulged. "So how did things end like this!?"
"Pure accident," Tony said. "I have sleeping problems, see, so Steve offered me his place for some shut-eye because Cap's nice like that, but then my ex-girlfriend and Killian, both who had grudges against me, by the way, found my location on Twitter, decided to kidnap the most vulnerable looking person in the house to threaten me and picked Steve for their sins. The hamburger just exacerbated things."
Bruce watched Fury's face muscles twitch. It was a fascinating study.
"And you just let them take you," said Fury, now back to Steve. Apparently, he couldn't find fault in Tony's truthful-but-edited-to-be-misleading explanation of events, or if he did find fault, chose not to mention them.
"They weren't good people, they also mentioned something that sounded a lot like Dr. Erskine's serum, so I decided to investigate," Steve said.
"Tactically, that was a good move," said Agent Hill.
Fury glared at Hill like she'd betrayed him.
"Was it necessary to mention personal matters to the President?" Fury demanded.
"No, sir," said Steve mildly. "I had no intention to. I was as surprised at Tony's actions as you were."
Tony giggled shamelessly. Fury's glare intensified.
"You have no concept of the media storm you generated, do you?" growled Fury.
"Uh, no?" said Steve, eyebrows set at an obtuse angle. One couldn't look more earnest, all-American, aww-shucks than this, Bruce thought.
"Hashtag illegalcap and makecaplegal are trending, Commander," said Agent Sitwell helpfully.
Bruce stood corrected. Steve's sheepish smile was even more earnest, all-American and aww-shucks.
"I don't understand what that means," Steve said.
Tony leaned into Bruce's ear and whispered: "Troll." Bruce grinned in return.
There was a moment of silence while Director Fury quietly smouldered in his seat.
"Listen, Rogers," Fury growled, at last, "Captain America is a public identity. It's been around longer than you, your chronological age notwithstanding. As long as you have the shield, you're it. Do you think an intelligence agency like SHIELD enjoys dealing with public entities?"
Steve just looked at Fury. "Sir?"
"Don't play dumb, I know you're smarter than that," snapped Fury. "It's damn inconvenient. I prefer my agents competent, professional and unknown. You, Rogers, as Captain America are anything but on the last criteria. So why do you think I bother?"
Steve didn't reply. So Tony answered for everyone:
"Commander Rogers."
Fury nodded once. "As far as I and World Security Council are concerned, Commander Rogers is a far better asset than Captain America. But only if you keep the two separate."
"They're not separate," Tony pointed out.
"There are significant enough differences between the two that make them separate," Fury retorted. "Even if there weren't, Commander Rogers isn't the type to enjoy living in the spotlight like you, Mr. Stark."
Steve smiled ruefully in agreement.
"This is my first and final warning," Fury growled. "Captain America is not Commander Rogers. You make sure it stays that way."
"Understood," said Steve. "Only one problem: Commander Rogers does not exist, nor does Steve Rogers."
"Damn right, they don't," said Fury, lips curling. "It took me four months to fix that mistake."
He then waved at Agent Hill, who gave Steve a thick folder.
"Your papers," said Agent Hill. "We created your school records to favor your aspirations to study computer science. Your birth certificate, passport, and medical records are based information we had on who you were before you joined the Sentinels of Freedom… " (Steve cringed), "…a.k.a. Invaders. Your military records are based on your actual army career, extrapolated to the contemporary equivalent."
Steve opened the folder and studied the contents. In a few seconds, Steve's eyebrows shot up.
"How'd you make me a Major?"
"That was your last rank," said Agent Hill, as though that explained things. Bruce could tell from the grim set of Steve's mouth and Tony's scowl that it really didn't. Bruce, on his part, was mildly surprised to learn Steve had been promoted back in WWII.
Steve looked down at the folder again. "Who gave you all this info?"
"Former Director Carter," said Agent Hill.
"She didn't give you photos?"
"None were available. So we used the most current photo of you at optimal mode," Agent Hill said.
Steve heaved a sigh and closed the folder. "Thanks, I think. So what now?"
"Go out, celebrate, see the world," said Fury.
Steve raised an eyebrow. "You're letting me go?"
"I'm giving you three months medical leave," said Fury. "Someone like you should not be having digestive problems for this long, yet here we are. Use the time recover."
"I don't remember signing up," Steve muttered.
"You did when you agreed to join the Avengers," said Fury, smirking in an infuriating way.
"I thought slavery was illegal," Tony said.
"We compensate our operatives and consultants, as you well know," Fury said. "Now being either doesn't mean you're obliged to put all your chips with SHIELD. By all means, continue to try different things. Go to school. Do internships. See, I like the initiatives you're taking, Rogers, and I'm encouraging it."
Steve said nothing.
"That is all. You're dismissed," said Fury.
The three of them left without further ado. They said nothing until they were returned to Lucy's house and settled around her dining table once more. Lucy distributed tea, coffee, and pastries, and informed them Pepper had left to take care of SI business.
"Every time I go through a debriefing with Nick, I feel used and lied to," Tony grumbled, after eating three elephant ears in quick succession.
"Probably because we are being used and lied to," Bruce sighed, as he cradled his teacup.
Tony pouted. "This is worse than being a prostitute. At least they get paid for this sort of sh!t."
"Language," said Lucy disapprovingly.
"C'mon, Lucy, we're all adult here," Tony whined.
"If you honestly think so, you are a very foolish man," Lucy said.
Tony eyeballed Lucy for a second and then grunted.
"Fine. Sorry. Now back to Fury: he induces paranoia because: a) the man lies for a living, b) he runs the world's greatest covert security network, and therefore c) he can be listening to our conversation right now, even as we speak."
"Ohmygod, is he?" Bruce cried.
"Negatory. I swept this place and fifty meters beyond for any and all bugs, and nothing," said Tony.
Steve sighed. "One day I'm going to break down and quote Patrick Henry at him: Give me liberty or give me death."
Bruce chuckled bleakly. "And we all know which one he'll give you."
There was a beat.
"I miss Coulson," Tony complained. "He wasn't as big of a—" Lucy glared, "—Richard the Third."
"Was he?" said Bruce. "I never got to talk to him. I guess you knew him longer."
"In a manner of speaking. Word was Agent Phil was Fury's right-hand man," Tony said.
"I guess without Agent Coulson Nick doesn't have a sanity check," said Steve somberly.
"Yeah. But don't you dare feel sorry for him. I refuse to on principle," groused Tony.
There was another beat. Tony was particularly twitchy.
"I wanna do something," Tony muttered, at last. "Something awesome. I'm a genius and billionaire. I don't have to deal with SHIELD if I don't want to. I can even start my own agency if I want. You know what," he sat straighter, "that's exactly what I'm gonna do."
"You want to start your own Intelligence Agency?" Bruce asked.
"Why should I do that?" Tony scoffed. "Every computer network in the world is mine for the taking. Well, for JARVIS' to take, but that's basically the same thing. Yet another intelligence agency isn't what we need. No, we want to be free to be superheroes."
"So you wanna form a superhero team?" Bruce asked. "Like Justice League?"
"Yeah, but more awesome," said Tony.
Steve turned thoughtful. "What would the purpose be? Justice League had a villain-of-the-week to fight. Our world isn't like that. Unless you want to fight crime, too."
"Not interested," said Tony dismissively. "The Avengers Initiative's purpose is good enough. Remember that?"
"Bring together a group of remarkable people and let them fight the battles we never could when we need them to," said Steve, as though reciting someone. "The caveat, of course, was: when we needed them to. 'We' being SHIELD."
"And that's where we part ways," said Tony decisively. "We don't fight because SHIELD says so. They can advise us, tell us what they know, but we make the final call."
Steve grinned. "I like that. Sign me up."
"Yay, I get Captain America," Tony crowed. "What about you, Bruce?"
"I … am not sure," said Bruce. "If you start a – a what, a defense agency? Wouldn't it be like building a private army?"
"Battles aren't about brute strength," said Steve. "The unit I led after Azzano, the Howling Commandos, was a seven-person team. We still managed to wipe out all of the Hydra strongholds."
"No guarantee the fight will be about firepower, either," said Tony. "Information warfare, giant EMT device that knocks out all major grids—"
"—Alien virus pandemic," Steve added.
Bruce winced. "You read The Hot Zone, didn't you?"
"The point is," said Tony, pointing a finger for emphasis, "I'm not going to build a private army because I don't have to and I don't want to. I draw a line against the militarization of my team. Nope, not gonna happen. Not on my watch. Now back to alien virus pandemics. Responding to that kind of threat requires R&D. SHIELD has their own R&D team, sure, but I can do better than all of them. Hell, given the chance, you can do better than me, Bruce. Point is, we're all geniuses. Genii. We can handle what the world can throw at us."
Bruce smiled. "If you say so."
"I do say so. I'm totally calling it," said Tony. "Speaking of things being thrown at, we may end up having to do more traditional superhero-ing whether we want to or not. The whole Thor and Loki thing gave people an excuse to go crazy about evil. Killian, case in point."
"Cultural permission," said Bruce grimly.
"Pattern setting," said Tony, nodding. "School shootings and roadside bombings, they're all based on a precedent that became a pattern."
"Sounds like rules to follow if you want to be a rebel," said Steve sardonically. "Which is rather ironic. But I suppose this gives us an idea how angry people will choose to act from now on."
"Yep," said Tony. "I foresee a lot of supervillains and monologues in the future."
"And here I thought we'd just do some old-fashioned good," Bruce grumbled.
"There will be opportunities for that, Bruce, don't worry," said Steve encouragingly, "And Tony, your ideas are all well and good, but you should tell Pepper first."
"Don't tell me things I don't already know, Spangles," Tony shot back. His tone was casual, but he still looked apprehensive at the prospect.
Steve smirked. "And don't be surprised if she says no."
"I know!" Tony snapped.
Nevertheless, Tony looked thoroughly put-out when he returned from his dinner with Pepper. Moreover, the two were still arguing.
"It's still no, Tony," said Pepper.
"But I want it!" Tony whined.
"Not now, Tony," said Pepper, after letting out a long-suffering sigh. "Not when you've decided to take out the arc reactor in your chest."
"Oh, you're gonna?" said Steve, surprised.
"Yes, as a sign of maturity and getting over his suit obsession," Pepper said.
"You'll have to do a lot of physical therapy afterwards," Bruce pointed out. "We're talking about heart reconstruction, here. You won't be able to avoid it even if you cheat."
"You have no idea what I have in mind, Banner," Tony retorted.
"Oh, I have a very good idea," Bruce retorted back.
"Either way, Tony, you shouldn't start anything big until you're done healing," Pepper said firmly. "Same goes to you, too, Steve. Agent Maria Hill told me you're on medical leave. I know you've been neglecting your health, and don't tell me otherwise. So focus on improving your GI tract for the next three months."
"As your doctor, I endorse the notion," said Bruce.
Steve glowered at him. "Traitor."
"Don't be like that, sweetie, you have more sense than Tony," Pepper chided. "By the way, Steve, I had a word with Rhodey. He going to help you get set up with the VA."
"VA?" Steve repeated curiously.
"Veteran Affairs," said Pepper, looking a bit distressed.
"I know that," said Steve, "I just … I thought you have to be out to sign up."
"That's not always the case," Pepper said. "Don't worry about it, sweetie, we'll figure it out."
Steve grinned lopsidedly. "Okay."
The four of them moved base to Tony's River Road mansion ("That is not a house," Steve said) to further discuss their plans for the next three months. Colonel Rhodes joined them there and helped them figure out pesky details such as whether enslavement to SHIELD ("Call it for what it is," said Tony) meant Steve had to stay in Maryland/DC, and which identity Steve should go to the VA as.
"You want to be as close to your VA as you can," said Rhodes. "You just never know when you'll need them, so clear up with SHIELD where you're expected to report to. And if possible, negotiate where based on where you want to go to school."
"Okay," said Steve.
"I recommend you go to the VA as Cap," said Rhodes. "That way you won't have to explain yourself as much."
"But Steve can't stay in Cap-mode for too long," said Bruce. "Will there be any reason for a visit to last more than three weeks?"
"If there is, something really wrong is happening," Rhodes said.
"I'll go as Cap, then," said Steve.
"Good. Now this is mostly for me," Rhodes turned serious, "How old are you?"
Steve smiled. "Ninety."
Rhodes looked very unhappy at the answer. He later cornered Bruce for a word.
"I really need to settle this in my head," said Rhodes. "I won't be able to sleep if I keep wondering if Captain America is secretly a twelve-year-old kid."
Bruce smiled sympathetically. "Let me show you something."
In a few seconds, Bruce had four sets of holographic images up, courtesy of Maryland division JARVIS.
"This," Bruce pointed at the image on the far left, "is the pelvic bone of an adult male. And this," he pointed at the picture on the far right, "is the pelvic bone of an adult female. As you no doubt noticed, there are clear differences between the two. The inlet of a male pelvis is narrower and more heart shaped, whereas a female pelvis inlet is wider and circular. The angle of the pubic arc," Bruce pointed them out, "is different, too. The angle of a male arc is acute, but a female arc is obtuse."
"Okay," said Rhodes, "And the middle two images are…"
"This," said Bruce, pointed at the middle-left image, "is Steve's pelvic bone in Captain America mode. This," he pointed at the image on the middle right, "is Steve's pelvic bone in Optimal Mode or skinny mode. Tell me, what do you see?"
Rhodes stared at the four sets of images for a long time. His dark eyes darted back and forth as he processed what he was seeing.
At length, he covered his mouth and said, "…Holy Sh!t."
Bruce scratched his head ruefully. "Now you gotta keep in mind that sex-related skeletal features are not obvious in children's bones. There are subtle differences you can detect, sure, but it becomes more defined after puberty."
"So the difference between Skinny-Cap and Big-Cap's pelvic bones, it isn't…"
"It's still possible, sorry," said Bruce quietly. "We are talking about borderline supernatural body changes that allow someone to gain six inches of height and eighty pounds of muscle mass in a span of seconds. So who the hell knows what it does to the bone structure? Now, I'm very reluctant to think that seventy years ago the US army took nine-year-olds, experimented on them and sent the successful ones to war. Steve's mental maturity I think says otherwise, but then I'm extremely biased. Prodigies can be very mature … more mature than a lot of adults."
Colonel Rhodes rubbed his face as though in pain.
"Somehow, the alternative seems worse," he said. "How does Cap handle this? Obviously, it's not something … something he … no, damn it, how do you deal?!" he exploded.
"I avoid any direct references to pronouns or age when I talk about Steve," said Bruce somberly. "I'm sure you figured this out already, Colonel, but this isn't something we can afford the wrong people to know. There are far-reaching consequences in knowing how narrow a target the super-soldier serum is effective. Plus, Steve trusts me not to dig deeper. I intend to keep that trust."
"Is it okay for me to see this, then?" Rhodes asked.
"Steve agreed I can explain the situation to anyone trustworthy who asks," said Bruce.
Rhodes exhaled. "Thanks for the confidence, Doc."
"Don't mention it," Bruce said. "Just so you know: I wanna know, too. Heaven help me, I do, badly, but I won't. Not until I have an okay."
Bruce and Colonel Rhodes talked a bit more on the subject. It mostly consisted of Bruce answering Rhodes' concerns about Chromosomal information ("The serums turn the recipient into a chimera. I have evidence to back that up. At any rate, we can't know for sure until we take a bone marrow sample, which I won't allow.") Once he reassured Colonel Rhodes, Bruce assumed he could start working on something easy, like getting Steve into college or something.
He was wrong. Dead wrong.
Bruce was aware there was a lot of interest in the Avengers in general and Captain America in particular. What he wasn't aware was just how many Captain America aficionados existed. These were the people who knew every holder of the title Captain America, including those whom Steve heard but never met, wrote hundreds of pages of essays on the historical, cultural and military significance of each Captain America, and was in the forefront of being outraged at Steve's lack of documentation. Then someone—a descendant of a scientist who used to work for the SSR, according to Internet rumor—disclosed the sinister fact that Isaiah Bradley, the only African American man in Steve's old team, had been physically castrated without his consent before getting injected because male hormones didn't work well with the serum.
The public reaction to this was … well, explosive. The Internet got bombarded with crotch close-ups of different Captain America(s) and far too detailed analysis on whether or not the particular Cap had 'faucets'. This was quickly followed by demands for accountability for the responsible parties. It wasn't long before SHIELD sent someone to 'ask' Steve to make a public statement.
"I thought I was on medical leave," Steve protested.
"It won't be a public venue where you need to be in person," said Agent Hill. "We're thinking a live video stream."
"It's still live," said Steve. "I don't think I can do this."
"We'll prescreen the questions and coach you on how to answer them," said Agent Hill. "You have to do this, Captain. It's about your reputation and that of your late teammates."
Steve looked frankly miserable after being pressed into this corner. It made Bruce's blood boil.
"We need to think it over," said Bruce. "We'll let you know in a couple of days."
"We're in a time crunch, doctor," said Agent Hill, frowning disapprovingly.
"No, we're not," said Bruce, not bothering to be nice. "And I heard from good authority if someone pushes you to make a big decision on a short notice, they're trying to con you."
Bruce informed Pepper about the request later that evening. As expected, she was not happy.
"You did the right thing, not giving SHIELD an answer," said Pepper, her eyes glinting like steel, "Let me handle this."
Bruce didn't know how, but before long he was sitting with Steve and Pepper for a meeting with Director Fury in Tony's River Road Mansion.
"I wasn't aware this had anything to do with Stark Industries," said Fury.
"Steve asked me to handle anything PR related in regards to his role as Captain America," said Pepper. "I'm fulfilling that request."
Fury's mouth twisted into a wry smile. "SHIELD is handling that."
"I'm sure you're doing your best," said Pepper, smiling with her teeth showing. "I just have concerns over the wisdom of Steve making a public statement on your organization's behalf. The way I see it, the current outcry has nothing to do with Captain America's reputation, but everything to do with answering the public's reasonable demand for SHIELD to answer for its predecessor entity on what it did to the people who later became 'Captain America'."
"Be that as it may, as a SHIELD operative, Rogers is expected to speak on behalf of its employer if need be," said Fury.
"SHIELD employs Commander Rogers. Not," Pepper stressed, "Captain Rogers, who, by your own insistence, are separate people. We're dealing with Captain Rogers here, not Commander Rogers."
"Oh, you're gonna use that technicality?" said Fury.
"If I must," said Pepper, her smile widening. "By all means, we can argue about that. Time will tell who is right and has more to lose, won't we?"
A tense silence fell between Pepper and Fury. Neither backed down nor gave the other an inch. Bruce and Steve, spectators of the duel of wits, watched in awe.
"I wanna be like Pepper when I grow up," Steve muttered quietly.
"Don't we all," Bruce said.
The meeting eventually ended in a standstill, with neither party agreeing to anything.
"That's exactly what we want, sweetie," Pepper said, as she wrapped a comforting arm around Steve's narrow shoulders. "Delayed action is going to hurt them more than you. All you need to worry about is making sure people know what happened to you because of the serum as it actually happened, and not let SHIELD or the army only put out a version that makes them look better."
Steve absently leaned into Pepper while thinking about this. "Do you think we can use the Q&A to convince people recreating the serum is a bad idea?"
"Sure, if we moderate it that way," said Pepper. "What do you have in mind?"
Bruce and Steve compiled a list, Bruce focusing on the medical aspects, and Steve on what happened on a personal level. The latter had all the elements of horrible and tragic Bruce instinctively associated with Steve's life, and several times he was tempted to walk away because he felt overwhelmed. Pepper, on the other hand, retained her composure and professionalism while she helped them word the contents for public consumption. Afterwards, she kind of fell on Tony and asked:
"Tony, can you make me a time machine?"
"Sure, my genius is endless, I'll probably figure it out in a year or a decade," Tony said as he held on to Pepper. "I don't think the world ready for a time traveling Tony Stark, tho'. Why d'you want it?"
"I need to kidnap Steve from 1942," Pepper replied.
"Oh, baby," said Tony, with genuine regret. "You know you can't because of the time paradox."
Pepper buried her face in Tony's shoulder.
"Shut up, let me dream."
It must be said Pepper Potts did not let personal feelings interfere with what needed to get done. Within hours she used the twitter account dedicated to Iron Man to advertise the moderated Q&A featuring Captain America. Several tens of thousands of people signed up within minutes and submitted their questions. JARVIS sorted through them and submitted the 'top twenty common questions relevant to our interest' for preview. In preparation for the impromptu event, Tony set up a video host that he assured would not let anyone figure where the transmission originated from, and Steve practiced answering to a camera under Pepper's supervision. Before they knew it, it was the time for the Q&A.
Steve opted to do the Q&A at Lucy's place, citing the homey atmosphere made talking easier than the opulent surroundings of Tony's River Road mansion (Tony pouted at this). On cue, Steve as Captain America appeared on screen wearing comfortable flannels and a white t-shirt, the emphasis being Steve was a regular dude, serum enhancements aside.
"Is this thing on?" said Steve while adjusting the angle of the laptop camera. "Okay, hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to, um, join me here. I was frankly overwhelmed at the interest. I didn't think people would still remember Captain America, certainly not seventy years later. Anyway, there's a lot of questions, and, unfortunately, not enough time to answer them all so, um, Iron Man helped me compile the top twenty questions. I apologize if I don't get around to answer yours. Anyway, let's get started."
On the top of the screen, the question appeared in white block letters with a black background.
Q: Do you miss the good old days?
"I do, but things aren't so bad," said Steve. "Food's a lot better, we used to boil everything. No polio is good. Internet, so helpful. I've been reading that a lot to catch up."
The next two questions were in the similar vein: what Steve liked about the future ("hot water on demand") and what Steve was still getting used to ("The prices. Good Lord, the prices."). The fourth question dealt with the other Captain America[s] ("Eight others, as far as I know: Michael and Grant Rogers, they were brothers, and no relation; William Burnside; Bill Naslund; Jeffrey Mace; Jack Monroe; Isaiah Bradley; and James Walker. Jeffrey is the one you see in the old movies, and James is the one you see on those vintage trading cards.") Then they moved onto questions about the super-soldier serum.
Q: Why did you take the serum?
"Two reasons," said Steve. "In 1942, a few months after Pearl Harbor, I was nineteen and dying of TB in a sanitorium. My parents were dead, and the only person who cared whether I lived or died was at the front. So when someone offered me an experimental serum that, I quote, can give me a chance to live, I decided why not, I had nothing to lose.
"I was offered to take part of the super-soldier program later when I responded favorably to the treatment. Whatever the comic books say, the transformation wasn't instantaneous. It took several weeks. Anyway, the lead scientist told me the thing I was given wasn't a cure for TB, but step zero of the super-soldier program, and that I could continue the process or stop right here and go back to being sick. Then he asked me what I would do if I became a super-soldier. I said I would join the war. He asked if I wanted to kill Nazis. I said I don't want to kill anyone, I just don't like bullies, I don't care where they are from, and if I gained the power to stop them, then that's how I would use it.
"Long story short … it seemed to me the serum would give me a chance to do something worthwhile, after a lifetime of not being able to because I was too sick."
Q: Did the transformation hurt a lot?
"Yes."
Q: Is true you need to be castrated for the serum to work?
"I don't know," said Steve flatly. "I'm not a scientist, and it wasn't something you asked. I can only speak for myself: I knew years before the serum even existed that I wasn't going to have my own kids. The serum didn't fix that."
Q: What is it like to be a super soldier?
"Well, growing almost a foot taller got some getting used to," said Steve, "And though it's been three years since I transformed from my perspective, I still think there's a stranger staring back at me when I look into a mirror. I don't know about my teammates, but I was amazed at the sheer of amount of things that didn't hurt when it was all over. As you know, I used to be sick all the time, and I was so used being in pain, I didn't know there was something wrong about it. Like, apparently you're not supposed to grey out when you stand up after sitting."
Q: What is it the biggest drawback of being supersoldier?
"Heightened senses," said Steve firmly. "You're used to sensing the world with this much information, and then all of a sudden there's four times more information. It's very disorienting. Also, heightened senses mean pain feels worse, and some things that weren't painful before now feels awful. Bill Naslund couldn't abide any touch after the serum, for example, and Michael Rogers said the world was now so loud, the cacophony was driving him mad. If I were to pick one thing I could've lived without, it would be the magnified sense of smell. Jack Monroe and I used to complain it was like being pregnant all the time.
"Our doctors, on the other hand, had a hard time dealing with our metabolism. Drugs simply don't work on us, see. Trying to operate on a super-soldier without sedatives or painkillers is not fun, folks."
Q: Knowing what you know now, would you have still taken the serum in 1942?
"I would've hesitated longer."
Steve continued to read down the list. There were enough questions unrelated to the serum sprinkled throughout to make look as though the questions were indeed picked according to the frequency of it being raised (it did make Bruce wonder how doctored other live streaming Q&A events were).
The final question asked what Steve did when it was just … hard. There was a sincerity in the wording that was touching. Steve certainly looked moved.
"My best friend, Bucky, made me promise something," said Steve. "That if he died, but I lived, then I'd do two things: that every day I'll try something new, and find someone kind and talk to them. I guess he knew if left to my own devices, I'd turn into a book with legs dangling on the bottom. Remembering to fulfil that helps."
Bruce looked down. His throat felt swollen and his chest felt tight. The answer addressed something that he'd wondered about for a while: why did Steve seek him out in the Helicarrier? And for Bruce to be deemed kind out of all people Steve met since waking up was …
"Aaaand that concludes our live streaming event," said Tony, abruptly jumping in front of the camera. "That's all folks. Peace out."
Tony ended the stream. Steve collapsed on a couch right after.
"I'm never doing this again," Steve mumbled into a cushion.
"Then don't," said Tony simply. "You should treat yourself. Do something stupidly extravagant: spa, tropical island, sail around the world on a souped up Yacht, whatever it is, just let me know, I'll make it happen."
Steve looked completely blank for a long time. Clearly, no ideas were forthcoming.
"How about a Sherlock Holmes tour in London?" Lucy suggested.
Everyone looked at her.
"There is such a thing?" Steve asked. Bruce thought the interest was encouraging.
"Yes. There are also Jack the Ripper walks if you are interested," said Lucy.
Bruce, Tony, and Steve looked at each as they considered this.
"Haven't been to London since the war," said Steve thoughtfully.
"London changed a lot since then," Bruce remarked.
"And hey, what d'you know, I have a penthouse in London," said Tony, grinning. "Okay. That settles it. Stupidly extravagant Sherlock Holmes tour it is."
Pepper arranged the trip as soon as she heard about it. In a week, she had Bruce and Steve flying to London on a private jet ("Of course it's extravagant. That's the whole point of this trip, sweetie."). Tony stayed behind because of heart surgery ("Not fair!"). From Heathrow to Tony's penthouse, Bruce and Steve had to do nothing but let all the people Pepper assigned to take care of things do their job.
The Sherlock Holmes tour was better than Bruce expected. It certainly got Steve's imagination running. By the end of it, Steve was talking about going to Dartmoor for a Hound of Baskervilles thing, and then Sussex Downs (where Sherlock Holmes went to retire, apparently) just for the hell of it. Soon Bruce and Steve were talking about all of unabashedly touristy things they could do in London before heading out.
Then they switched on the telly and saw a very familiar looking old man running around naked at the Stonehenge.
"Is that Dr. Eric Selvig?" said Steve incredulously.
Bruce squinted and then gasped. "It is."
They stared in quiet disbelief for a second while the news showed the police arrest Selvig and take away his equipment.
"Should we … we should go help him," said Steve.
Bruce sighed. "Yeah."
Note: I had so many things I wanted to write in this chapter. So. Many. Things. Like, Pepper and Natasha kidnapping Steve for clothes shopping, Steve and Bruce hiding away in bookstores instead, Bruce and Steve going to Malibu for Christmas and meeting all of Tony's bots, and other fluff. But after the Q&A I was done. Sorry folks.