After breakfast, everyone was sitting around in the mess area, talking or browsing the extra-net. Shepard spent most of the morning sitting with Miranda, Thane, and Garrus, introducing the drell (his first thought on seeing the assassin had been Thank the spirits it's not an actual hanar) to his most trusted people on board. Then their fearless leader, his biotic bombshell, and the new guy, departed.
Two minutes after the elevator closed, EDI's hologram popped up. "Commander Shepard has left the ship." In half a second, every single gamer was out of their seats, moving for the doors.
"I am going to destroy you," Jack threatened, shoving past Kelly and Jacob into the elevators.
"Human expression: Bring it on," Mordin retorted. The rest of the trash talking faded away as he closed the door to the battery, and feeling paranoid, he did a quick sweep before logging in to the game, watching as names clicked on one at a time. Within five minutes, they were all logged in and ready, and to his complete lack of surprise, Garrus was in the guard contingent again.
Only this time, he wasn't the guard. The briefing was, instead, a quick primer on the walking dead, the corpses visible in the opening video animation. To his surprise, there were, like the guards, three types, but unlike the guards, it was much harder to put down a zombie for good.
He started off in one of the plain zombies, shambling around the streets. The only thing that really bothered him was how slow he had to walk, an awkward shuffle that was borderline nausea-inducing. His speed certainly meant he wouldn't be traversing the entire neighborhood, so he'd have to settle for this small area.
As he was thinking of how to get the best viewpoint, his health status suddenly flipped from a full gray bar to empty, and he watched the camera view as the zombie body slumped to the ground, the thief rapidly escaping before he could get back up again. Interesting, he thought, we're only five minutes into the game. So, his escape point should be back this way.
He waited a full minute until he could stand back up, and then proceeded to quarter the neighborhood, waking up every VI-controlled zombie, and leading them back to the main street. It also had the benefit of leading him past what he thought was the exit point.
It took him nearly an hour of corralling before he had the zombies arranged how he wanted them, and tucked his zombie into a nice, dark corner, along a route almost perfectly designed for a thief to avoid the crowd of hungry undead lining the street.
And to his utter frustration, the game ended not two minutes later, with the message, Mission Failed. Thirty seconds later, he watched the camera view of one of the wraith-like undead, hurling a ball of dark energy at an unsuspecting thief perched on the roof beam of a ruined building, and watching it knock him falling four stories to the stone street. Ouch, he thought with a wince.
"This hasn't happened before," Kasumi said through the group channel when they all sat back on the loading screen. "Give me a minute to look through the manual."
"I'd like to know who thought it was funny to shoot me in the ass," came Tali's perturbed voice, and Garrus had to fight hard to smother his laughter. Didn't want to give her the wrong impression, after all.
"Easier to aim than sniper rifle. Better range, no ballistic curve," Mordin said, somewhat smugly. "Still wondering how walking dead can drown."
"Wait, you did?" Jack said. "I watched that happen! Nearly fell off a balcony I was laughing so hard."
"Glad I could provide additional entertainment value," the salarian acknowledged.
"Alright, we have to do the mission over," Kasumi said a moment later. "Different pick for thief, same scenario. She didn't complete enough of the objectives to continue."
"I have to be a walking corpse now?" Tali lamented.
"It's not that bad. Unless your omni-tool has olfactory cue generators," Garrus snarked.
The game started again, and though he was in a different zombie body, he was still in the same rough neighborhood. Close enough to watch the new thief go leaping past from roof to roof with the aid of a rope arrow zipline.
Again, he set up a road maze of zombies as soon as the thief was out of sight, and since he'd taken the zipline, he probably wouldn't be going back that way, but just in case he managed to lead one zombie up onto an open patio rooftop.
This time, the game didn't end as soon as he got into hiding, and then it was the long, boring waiting game. Somewhere just over half an hour later, he twitched the controls as the thief stepped into his pool of shadow, and five seconds later, it was all over.
The scores this time were far more heavily in favor of the thief, who managed not to be hit before stumbling into Garrus' well-planned ambush, as well as taking down every single wraith and haunt in the level. Back at the waiting screen, Garrus shook his head. "I want to solo this mission, keep up with the storyline before the next level."
"Me too," Kelly said. "Besides, Jacob just quit out. I think he's mad at Garrus."
"Turnabout is fair play," the turian said smugly. "He killed me the same way, only I strategically set up the battlefield first."
"Next level later, I want to get off this ship and get some real food," Gabby said.
"Hear hear!" Ken supported.
"That sounds fine with me. Tonight, mission allowing?" The engineering duo had logged off before she even asked the question. "I guess that's a yes," Kasumi chuckled as Mordin followed their lead.
"Works for me," Garrus said. He hesitated for a moment, then turned off the game as well. He could still play the game later, after all, but if he had to subsist another day on Gardner's horrid excuse for cooking, his stomach might attempt to commit suicide for him.