Hello readers! I'd like to give a big thank you and one of the aforementioned fuzzy kittens to all of my reviewers! If you're allergic to cats, we'll work something out. I'd also like to thank my reviewers for the many weird looks I got at work this week. I'm sorry I don't have a recording of the dance. Why? Because I work at an attraction for a large company and there's no way they'd let me bring a camera in there. But I can tell you that dancing is allowed (sometimes even encouraged) at my workplace and that I danced a lot this week! Big thanks again to all of you!

This chapter's quote is on page 433 in my edition of Eclipse. It's on the last page of chapter 19. That's all for now! Enjoy chapter 6! :D

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer does. :(

Jacob barked another laugh.

I settled deeper into his warm fur, resting my head against his neck.

It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be-the easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out- than the last few times I'd been with Jacob while he was human. Odd that I should find that again here, when I'd thought this wolf thing was the cause of its loss.

The killing games continued in the clearing, and I stared at the hazy moon.

I sighed, looking back down to watch the Cullens' fight training. Esme and Jasper were squaring off right now.

Esme. I blanched. Warm, loving Esme. I hated this. Knowing they were going to fight was bad. Watching them practice was hideous. I shuddered. Jacob's ears rolled around, perking up as he looked at me concernedly. He was asking me what was wrong.

"I just don't like watching them fight. It really, really scares me. I don't want any of them to get hurt. It'd be my fault. I can't lose them, Jake. Any of them." I looked down at the ground, examining the grass underneath me. I heard the Jacob-wolf snort.

Jacob rolled his black-brown wolf eyes and shook his enormous head. All as if to say, 'Stop worrying. Everything will be fine, okay? And stop blaming yourself all the time. It's annoying.'

I pursed my lips, but didn't comment on his expression. Jacob put his head on his paws and sighed. The sound rumbled in his chest.

I continued watching, even though it made me sick to do so. I couldn't look away. I kept studying each of their faces, trying to memorize them. Just in case I lost them tomorrow.

Esme's soft eyes and warm, loving smile. Her lovely, caramel brown hair. Emmett, with his wide, dimpled grin, playful, mischievous eyes and dark curls. Disapproving, but nonetheless stunning Rosalie whose hair fell in thick, golden ropes down her back. Understanding, stoic Jasper. His honey-blond hair, battle scars, and empathetic eyes. Carlisle's white-blonde hair, gentle, kind smile, and soft, compassionate eyes. I stopped breathing when my eyes moved left of Carlisle. Messy bronze hair. Perfect features. Fiercely loving. Loyal. Intelligent. Eloquent. Kind. Beautiful crooked smile. Just...perfect. I couldn't even think the name. I looked back at the ground, choking back tears. I wondered what my reaction would've been like if he were going to fight tomorrow. I was making him stay with me and my reaction was that violent. I didn't want to know what would've happened otherwise.

Wait. I looked around. Where was...? Ah, there she was. Alice was sitting apart from the rest of the group. She was curled up on a boulder, chin on her knees, staring up at the moon. The foggy, alabaster light gleamed in her eyes. Optimistic, faithful, loving, sad little Alice. Her silver voice and lit-up amber eyes. I took a moment to memorize her face, too. Why was I trying? My memory wouldn't do any of them justice.

I sniffed, still looking at Alice. Both she and Jacob turned to look at me. Both worried, both curious. My eyes met Alice's amber ones from across the field. I barely noticed Jacob look behind him to see what I was staring at. Then I heard him snort again in disapproval. I didn't pay attention. I was still looking at Alice, now memorizing those remarkable eyes. She didn't break our gaze, but rose off of her boulder, dancing towards Jacob and me. I could see the hackles on Jacob's neck rise.

"Be nice. She's not doing anything to you," I admonished, pinching one of his furry ears. He emitted a defeated, grumbling growl and put his head back on his paws.

Alice crossed behind Jacob, giving him a very wide berth, before fluidly coming to sit cross-legged beside me.

"Are you alright?" She asked worriedly.

I shook my head. "No. Not at all." my voice broke at the end of my statement.

Alice moved forward as if to embrace me, but doubled back, wary. I rolled my eyes through my unshed tears and nestled against her, burrowing my head in her tiny shoulder. She wrapped her brittle-looking arms around my shoulders.

"What's worrying you this time?" she asked gently.

"You. All of you. What if someone doesn't come back, Alice? Everyone keeps telling me that everything is fine, but I don't believe it. Jasper even said that the probability of losing someone was high." I sniffed, trying to keep myself from breaking down completely.

Alice didn't say anything. She just put her hand tentatively on my head before running her fingers gently through my hair. I closed my eyes at the contact and broke down, sobbing. Alice just kept brushing my hair with her fingers. She didn't say anything. She just let me cry it out, occasionally whispering an almost inaudible 'shh.' I felt her rocking me infinitesimally back and forth. After about ten minutes my sobbing calmed, reduced to a few irregular hiccups and some sniffles. I kept my eyes closed, trying to breathe evenly, letting the gentle, almost imperceptible sway of Alice's rocking calm me. My hiccups finally stopped and I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Better?" Alice murmured. I nodded against her shoulder before resurfacing, looking up at her.

"I think I needed that," I breathed.

Alice nodded again, "You needed to let that out. Your whole affect has changed, Bella. That was weighing you down."

I nodded again. "I feel a little better. I'm still worried to death, though."

"I know you are. I really think we're going to be okay, now that the do-...wolves are on our side. Try not to worry too much," Alice said, concern and pain flooding her eyes. "It's making you sick."

"I'm trying," I sighed. I stared at the damp grass. Its color was almost leeched in the moonlight.

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

I pulled her tighter against me.

"You'll be okay, right? You'll come back?" I asked, desperate. My hands, now curled around her waist, clenched around fistfuls of her shirt as if it would keep her here with me. As if it would keep her safe.

Alice smiled. "Yes, Bella. I'm in better shape than most, remember? I have an unfair advantage." She tapped her temple smugly.

I sighed. "Yeah, you're right. Just promise me you'll come back." My hands tightened further. I felt my injured hand strain against the brace with the pressure. Alice reached back and dislodged my hand, bringing it in front of her and stroking it where the pressure of the brace had left a red line. She pried my other hand away and held it, pillowing it in her free hand.

"I promise. I promise you I'll come back. I'll be fine."

I nodded and looked over at Jacob. He was staring at us, eyes narrowed suspiciously. Alice looked over.

"May I help you?" she asked coolly. Her eyes flicked down to my broken hand, threatening. She was still murderous over the kissing incident.

Jacob's lips curled over his teeth as he growled lowly and threateningly.

"Guys..." I spoke uneasily.

"No, Bella, I'm feeling the same way Jacob is right now. I'm a little miffed, too."

She continued, addressing Jacob, "You know, I don't think you appreciate how much effort it takes for us to trust you with Bella." Jacob cocked his head curiously and angrily at the 'us.'

"And for you to return her damaged?" Alice lifted my braced hand a bit, pointing out the damaged appendage. "That irritates me, Jacob. It really irritates me."

My eyes widened as I listened to Alice. Her quiet, matter-of-fact approach made the threat sound that much more dangerous.

Jacob bared his teeth further, rising from the ground into a crouch, fur standing up on the back of his neck. He eyed Alice petulantly, obviously thinking that Alice did not have a full understanding of his situation.

"There are others in your situation who know how to behave, Jacob," she sneered.

Jake's eyes narrowed further, reducing to slits. The suspicion and anger in them were overwhelming.

Alice opened her mouth to speak again. Somehow, I thought I knew what she was going to say. And I knew that that would end up causing a nasty fight.

"Knock it off, guys!" I warned. "Alice," I murmured, "let me break it to him. It'll be easier on everyone."

Alice stared at me, considering this. Then she nodded grudgingly. "Alright. Are you okay here by yourself?" she asked, mostly directing the question towards Jacob. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just give us some space. This is not going to be pretty."

Alice nodded once more before very gently disentangling herself from me and dancing back to her boulder.

Once she was gone, Jacob's growls slowed. He flopped back on the ground, with a disgruntled look that clearly read, 'Okay, spill.'

I ran a hand through my hair uneasily.

"Well, obviously Alice is a little...irked by you right now. She feels like you should be acting differently in your current situation."

Jacob growled. His expression very obviously said, 'Alice doesn't know what she's talking about.'

Jacob was oddly easy to communicate with even as a wolf. I guess our friendship was really that strong. I knew exactly what he was telling me and what he meant even without the luxury of speech. It was the strangest thing. I shook my head, remembering the subject at hand.

"Alice knows what she's talking about more than you'd think," I whispered.

Jacob cocked his head at me, confused. He looked back and forth between Alice and me a few times. When he settled on me again, he cocked his head further. I fought the urge to laugh. He looked so funny. I swallowed my laughter. Jacob was still confused. I sighed. Of course I'd have to spell it out for him. Jacob didn't always have strong inferential skills. Sometimes he was uncannily insightful. And sometimes, like now, he was a tad dense.

I bit my lip hard, easing off when I was afraid I'd draw blood. How did I say this? I shook my head. I'd just have to say it. There was no other way. I couldn't lead Jacob on a guessing game. He wasn't getting it. I'd just have to tell him plainly.

"Alice's situation is almost identical to yours, Jake. She feels about me the same way you do."

Jacob froze and stared. I braced myself for his reaction, hoping a fight wouldn't break out. Jacob leaned forward towards me, incredulous, as if to say, 'Wait, what?'

"She feels the same way about me that you do, Jake," I reiterated. "She's in love with me. Just like you."

Jacob just stared blankly at me for a moment, letting it sink in. Then, abruptly, he leaped up and wheeled around, snarling deafeningly in Alice's direction.

"Jake, stop! Stop it, Jacob!" I cried, jumping up with him, yanking on his ears. I had to grab onto him in case he decided to lunge at Alice. Not that I could stop him if he really wanted to hurt her. But I had to try.

Jacob didn't even feel it. He kept snarling. The sound ripped through the clearing. Alice didn't retaliate. She was angry, yes. I could see it spark in her eyes. But the spark was dimmed by mist. She looked back at Jacob in livid, miserable, guilty, fellowship. The rumbling in Jacob's chest gradually slowed to a stop as his expression grew to mirror hers. They stared at each other for awhile. Hating each other. Hating that they were connected. But at the same time they were recognizing that connection. Recognizing that shared feeling of misery and sorrow and overwhelming, drowning love. I could feel each individual emotion crackle in the air.

Then Alice turned slightly to look at me. The anger in her eyes melted. I watched Jacob's reaction. Something strange happened. His eyes softened too. He wasn't even looking at me. But he knew that Alice was. He knew exactly what she was seeing as she looked at me. Knew exactly what she felt. And he couldn't help but feel it too. He stared at her for another moment before turning back around and flopping back down beside me.

He couldn't object to her loving me. It made too much sense to him.

He turned to look at me. He wanted me to talk. He wanted to know all that had happened. How it had all started, how I figured it out. Everything.

I sighed. "Well, I found out a couple weeks ago. The weekend that you got me from school? When I told you when I'd become..."

Jacob nodded shortly. He didn't want to be reminded of my fast approaching transformation into a vampire.

"That night I had a nightmare. It was about what you had said."

Jacob whined an apology, ears flat against his skull.

"It's okay. But it woke me up and when I woke up Alice was there on the couch with me. She thought the reason I hadn't slept well the night before was because Edward wasn't there with me. She thought that having a vampire with me would help, even if it wasn't Edward."

Jacob didn't look happy about my having vampires in such close proximity to me as I slept, but he nodded, indicating that I should continue.

"So I told her about everything you had said that day. And when I started talking about how you told me you were in love with me, she started looking funny. She looked so sad, Jacob. So I wanted to know why. I wanted to know what was going on. I...well, I bullied it out of her, really."

Jacob barked a laugh. His expression said 'typical.'

"It's not funny, Jake. At all. I don't think I've ever seen someone look so heartbroken. Or so guilty. She was miserable. She wouldn't even look at me for a good hour after she told me. She thought I'd hate her for it. I still don't think she's entirely sure that I'm alright with things."

Jacob raised his wolf-brows. 'Well, are you alright with things?' he mimed.

"Of course I am. I love Alice. It may not be in the way she wants, but I love her so much, Jake. She's like my sister. I'd be lost without her. And as a sister, I love her unconditionally. No matter how she feels about me. I won't let that split us up. I love her too much to let something like that to ruin our relationship."

Jacob stared at me for a moment. I couldn't read the expression. He just looked at me oddly. After a moment he nodded, asking me to continue.

"Well, Edward found out the next day."

Jacob cringed. Even though he hated Alice, he knew what Edward's reaction must've been like. He knew that Edward had treated her horribly.

I nodded. "Yeah. It was really bad. He was so mean about it, Jake. And I understand why he was. I understand why he was upset. But he almost broke her. I can't even describe it. She was already miserable. And he was cruel to her. He hurt her so badly. I can't think of a word bad enough to describe her condition after that. Just fragile. So very fragile."

Jacob nodded, asking me if there was more.

"I found out from Jasper that this has been going on since before Alice even met me. She just didn't recognize it for what it was until later. But Jasper said that Alice was the first Cullen to say she loved me. Not Edward. She's loved me since she knew I existed. And it's just been eating at her for that long. She didn't even know it was eating at her. It's been that way for a year and a half."

Jacob looked back at Alice. She was still staring at the moon. Still trying so hard to put on a brave face. Everyone could see through it. As I had told Jacob, Alice was so breakable. You could see the fragility in her eyes. The moonlight shone so that her eyes gleamed like orbs of amber of glass. Glass that had a tiny fissure in it. A tiny crack that, if pressured, would splinter and spiderweb until the glass shattered completely.

I looked at Jacob...and I saw it. A microscopic touch of empathy in his eyes. Even Jacob, who hated Alice, couldn't look at her anymore without feeling just a little tiny bit of her sadness. It was impossible not to. It was all she was anymore.

I felt tears well up in my eyes again. Jacob whined concernedly, asking what was wrong.

"Look at her, Jacob. She's going downhill so fast. I'm just waiting for the day when she finally breaks. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix it. No one does. We all see it, and we can't do a thing about it. We can't do anything but watch her crumble. Watch her die."

Jacob examined the grass. I looked over at him. The look in his eyes was hardly different than the one in Alice's.

"She's going to die, Jake. Not physically, of course. But, eventually, emotionally, she's going to break. I don't know what that'll mean for her, and Jasper, and the rest of us. But I can see it happening. Eventually it'll be too much. She'll just get bled dry of emotion completely. Emotionally dead."

Jacob continued to look at the ground. Then I realized why he was staring at the ground, eyes downcast, head bent over. He felt that he was heading the same place Alice was. His sorrow wasn't as noticeable as hers. He was better at covering it up with jokes and attitude. But as I looked at him, I saw a small fissure in his eyes, just like the one in Alice's. Eventually it would also splinter and spiderweb. He would break, too.

I hated myself for this. But what was I supposed to do? I didn't ask for them to fall in love with me. And now I had to watch them both collapse. Shatter. I had to watch them die knowing I was the cause of it.

My tears spilled over. I wasn't sobbing like I had been earlier. This was different. It was an agonizing, grudging acceptance of inevitability. My tears coursed down my cheeks in silent streaks that gleamed in the moonlight. I was crying all the time lately. I was just tired of hurting people. But I didn't know how to avoid it. I just kept hurting them. I hurt Jacob and Alice just by being around them. But I'd hurt them worse if I tried to distance myself from them. I couldn't win. I just had to watch myself ruin their lives.

I heard Jake whine at my elbow. He nudged it with his cold, wet nose.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me," I sniffed bitterly. My voice sounded thick and nasal. Jacob didn't buy it. He put a paw on my knee and looked me in the eye, whining again. I looped my arms around his massive russet neck and buried my face in his warm fur. I didn't break down this time. I kept myself together. But I wanted to be close to Jake. He was my best friend, and he was hurting. And even though I was the one causing it, I couldn't stop myself from trying to make it better.

But was that really going to make him feel better? I paused to think about it. No. Was that why I was doing this? I thought about that, too. No. That wasn't why. The truth was, hugging him, keeping him close kept me together-kept the guilt from eating me alive. I clutched him, wishing he would let this go so hecould be whole, and knowing he wouldn't. I sat there, trying to memorize him, too-memorize him before he broke. Before my Jacob left forever.

Suddenly I felt a tiny, frosty hand settle on my shoulder. I clutched Jacob tighter. I didn't want to look at her. I couldn't handle seeing them both in close proximity, knowing what I was doing to them. It would be too much. Too overwhelming.

"Bella, look at me."

I didn't look up. I pressed my face harder into Jacob's fur. It smelled like earth and rain and pine.

"Bella, please look at me." The voice was closer this time. I felt her cool breath on my ear. Felt her tiny, nimble fingers brush my hair back behind my ear, away from my face. I felt myself loosening my grip on Jacob. I didn't want to. But, somehow, I couldn't deny her her request. Hypnotized again. That happened a lot with her. I didn't know why. I didn't care.

I turned to look at Alice. Her eyes were flooded with pain and worry.

"Bella, you have got to cut yourself a little slack. You blame yourself for too much. It's tearing you apart. Do you think I want that? That Jacob wants that? We love you, Bella. We just want you to be happy. Beating yourself up over us is not what we want. Right?" Alice asked Jacob.

Jacob nuzzled me again with his nose, nodding. Of course Alice would know exactly why I was crying. It was almost as if she could read my mind. I had thought that I was hard to read. Edward said I was. But Alice and Jacob saw through me so easily it was ridiculous. I guess Edward was just too used to reading minds that he had forgotten how to read emotion and expression. He didn't have that kind of sixth sense that Alice and Jacob seemed to have.

I shook my head hard, trying to clear it. Having them comfort me made me feel worse. Seeing the love and worry in their eyes. Seeing them torn up over me. I wished more than anything that they would let me go. Because I couldn't be what they wanted me to be and I wished, oh I wished that I could. I wished I could fix that little fissure, wished I could make the mist disappear.

"I'm just tired of hurting you. I know I do. And I don't know how to fix it and I wish I could..." I babbled, voice rising into hysterics the longer I spoke.

"Bella," Alice tried to cut in. Jacob pawed my knee, trying to hush me.

"...and I don't know what to do. I love you both and I hate myself for making you miserable. It's all my fault. And don't you dare try to tell me it isn't, Alice..."

"Bella!"

Alice raised her voice and put an index finger over my lips. The gesture more than the raised tone of voice stunned me into silence. Alice was usually scared of making any physical contact where I was concerned. This gesture seemed more intimate than what was customary for her. Not that I really cared. She wasn't being inappropriate. Poor Alice was just trying to get me to shut up.

Alice sighed exasperatedly. "Bella, please let me say something. Without interruptions."

Alice waited for me to respond.

"Okay," I squeaked against her finger. I liked feeling the contrast of her cold skin against my warm, albeit chapped, lips.

Alice removed her dainty finger. I looked at the way the moonlight hit her. It looked almost exactly like it had the night she told me she loved me. The moon was behind her, and the foggy light made a similar outline. It filtered through her hair again, creating that same feathered halo. Her eyelashes cast the same curved, oblique shadows. She looked so much different now, even after two weeks. She looked worn. Emotionally exhausted. But still beautiful. Somehow, she looked more beautiful now than she had two weeks ago. As sad and worn looking as she was, she looked stunning. How did she do that? I shook my head lightly, trying to focus.

"Listen to me carefully, Bella," Alice spoke. "I. Do. Not. Blame. You. For. This. Any of it. I know you feel like it's your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. But I don't really think anyone is responsible. It's just a bad situation and we have to make the best we can of it. Your beating yourself up over it doesn't help. All it does is make you feel worse. It makes me feel guilty as sin, too. That you're agonizing over me when you didn't ask for this. You didn't want this. Jacob and I are your friends. It's natural that you want to spend time with us. You don't have to try and distance yourself for our sakes. You don't need to feel guilty for wanting to talk to us, for seeking out and enjoying our company." Alice glanced at Jacob to make sure that she was speaking the truth for him, too. He nodded shortly. "We love you enough to be what you need us to be."

I sighed. I wasn't sure that that was true in Jacob's case. After all, he was the one who kept insisting that I was in love with him. He was the one who wouldn't let things go. He was the one who had kissed me without my permission. But I believed wholeheartedly that that was true for Alice. She had made it clear from the very beginning that she would always respect my boundaries and my wishes. She would truly be what I needed. I needed her to be my friend. My sister. And she was doing just that. She was the most caring, attentive, insightful, sweetest, most nurturing sister anyone could hope for. I just wished she was as happy with that as I was.

I whispered a lame, "Okay."

I should've thanked her for being so careful and patient and good. But it took all I had to mutter that 'okay.' I was still too distressed to say anything else.

Alice nodded and extended her arms, offering a hug. And it was just that. I knew it was an offer. I could decline if I wanted. I threw myself into her willowy, fragile looking arms, my own arms latched around her shoulders. She giggled at the force of my landing. She snaked her arms around my waist. Then I leaned to my right, propping myself against Jacob. Alice looked warily at him, wondering how he felt about having her that close to him. Worrying about having her arm, the arm that was around my waist, touching him.

Jacob stared warily at her for a moment before relaxing and placing his enormous head in my lap. Alice grinned. Her flawless, pearly teeth glinted in the moonlight. I sighed happily, sandwiched between the cold, hard, petite frame of my sister and the warm, massive wolf that was my best friend. I idly played with Jacob's whiskers. He closed his eyes and sighed. The force of his breath blew dirt across the grass. I laughed. His lips crooked up in a wolfy grin.

Alice snuggled into the crook of my neck. Her spiky hair tickled me. I grinned.

"Why aren't you participating, Alice?" I asked, nodding towards the circle where Emmett was trying frantically to capture Jasper.

"They won't let me," she pouted. "Jasper says it's pointless. I don't need help."

I nodded. "He's kind of right, Alice. Training you would be a waste of time."

Alice nodded, hair brushing against my collar bone. "Yeah. So I get to miss out on the fun."

I rolled my eyes. 'Fun.' Right.

Alice shrugged against me. "Whatever. I'm happy right now. So it's fine."

I smiled and pressed my cheek to the top of her head and inhaled. She smelled like oranges and orchid and honey.

I sat idly talking with Alice and Jacob. I loved that they weren't fighting with each other. It was nice being able to have them both there, keeping me company, taking my mind off of troubling and saddening things. We talked until my words were indistinguishable between yawns. I drifted to sleep, smiling, propped between Jacob and Alice, both of their temperatures and scents and voices swirling around me.

I woke up some time later, smelling a third scent, hearing a third voice.

"Bella, it's time to go home."

I smiled so wide I thought my face would split in two.

"Edward," I slurred through sleep.

"Hello, love."

"Hi."

Edward slipped his arms under mine, trying to lift me into his arms.

"Bella we have to leave," Edward smiled.

"Okay," I murmured, wondering what the problem was.

Edward chuckled, "Bella, you have to let go of Jacob and Alice."

I frowned before gaining enough consciousness to realize that I had one hand in a vice-like grip around Alice's freezing, dainty hand, and another tangled in Jacob's shaggy, warm fur.

I frowned further. "No. I like this."

Edward sighed amusedly. "Bella..."

"No. You're all here now. This is good. I want to stay here like this."

I was enjoying lying here between Alice, Jacob, and Edward. I inhaled deeply, smelling rain and oranges and sun and earth and lilac and orchid and pine and honey. It was wonderful. I wanted to stay here forever.

The last thing I heard before I drifted off again was laughter. A rough, amused bark, a quiet, velvet chuckle, and tinkling, silver wind-chimes.

Please click that little button right there and tell me what you thought! Pleeaasseee? Reviews are like new toys! (I just saw Toy Story 3. It's awesome. Go see it.)