The story's title is from the song "Light Outside" by Wakey!Wakey!. All of the chapter titles come from various songs by the same band.

Follow me on tumblr - my username is emily-betts.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot and any original characters that may be added in later. All rights over characters of the TV show Arrow belong to CW Television and DC Comics.

Maybe It's Me Trying to be Everything I Think You Need (And Maybe You Love Me)

March 2008

Felicity grumbled to herself and shuffled her feet as she walked home, pink backpack securely draped over her shoulder. Usually, Oliver's driver would bring him by after school to pick her up. But not today, because apparently, she and Oliver were no longer friends. Ever since starting high school, Oliver had changed. When around her, he was his usual self - goofy, sweet, and funny with just a touch of cockiness. But lately when surrounded by other people, he was different, acting like the arrogant, spoiled playboy people thought he was.

Recently, he had started dating a gorgeous brunette named Helena, spending more and more time with her. The problem wasn't that he had stopped spending as much time with Felicity; the problem was that he hadn't. Helena was an extremely possessive girl, and she became jealous easily. Seeing firsthand the closeness of Oliver and Felicity's friendship, she had demanded that Oliver no longer be friends with her. When Oliver had told Felicity about the ridiculous request, she panicked. She told him that she understood; that they were bound to grow apart considering he was a year older than her; that Helena was his girlfriend and was more important. After her rant, Oliver hadn't said anything, so she quickly said goodbye and practically ran away from the front of her middle school.

Which was how she'd found herself walking home through the Glades and deeply regretting it. Rounding a corner, she felt the presence of someone following her, so she slowed her step and turned around, surprised to see a sleek black town car pulling up to the curb. Oliver stepped out of the car, no doubt having told his driver that he could open his own door.

Confused, Felicity asked, "Oliver, what are you doing here?" He was supposed to be on a date with Helena.

"Well, you ran away from me," he responded, finally reaching her on the sidewalk.

"Yeah, I just thought -"

"- I broke up with Helena," he interrupted.

"Oliver, why would you do that?"

"Because she's just a girl - who's a little crazy, not gonna lie. And you're my best friend, Felicity."

"But you really like her. You should choose -"

"- Fel-i-ci-ty," he said, separating every part of her name, savoring the way each syllable sounded when it fell from his lips. He stepped forward, grasping her hands in his and squeezing gently. "She asked me to never speak to you again. There was no choice to make."

Felicity squeezed back, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth as his eyes shined down at her. He tilted his head back towards the town car, "Now let's go. You know that I don't like you walking through the Glades by yourself."

She rolled her eyes as she made her way to the car, not releasing Oliver's hand even as they sat down on the plush leather seats.

October 2009

It's been three weeks since Robert Queen's funeral - three weeks since Oliver broke down in Felicity's arms - and the two best friends have been inseparable. Spending almost every night at either one of each other's houses, Oliver had opened up a lot about how he was feeling about his father's death, about the guilt he carries with him every day. And Felicity just listens, sometimes talking about her own father as well. They've grown closer than ever, which in turn has made Oliver's feelings grow stronger than ever. He doesn't know exactly what it is, but he knows that he has never felt it before.

Their relationship has reached a point where his feelings are becoming overwhelming, which is why he decided to spend the day at home with his kid sister. Honestly, Oliver is worried about Thea. Part of him believes she hasn't fully processed what happened because she often refers to their father like he'll be home after work in a few hours. But at other times, she regards their father as if he's just a memory that she knows isn't returning.

The siblings sit on the sofa, munching on Raisa's famous chocolate chip pancakes and watching Saturday morning cartoons. Thea gazes over at her older brother with a curious expression. "Where's Lissy? She loves cartoons."

Oliver looks at her out of the corner of his eye before returning his nervous gaze to the mouse that's currently stepping on the cat's tail on the screen. "Uh, she's at her house, Speedy."

"Well, why isn't she here? She's always here and I miss her. She's the bestest."

A soft smile finds its way onto his face. "I know, Speedy. She's pretty amazing," he says wistfully.

"Ollie, can I ask you something? Be honest!"

He finally turns his head to look at the somber look that she wears, "Sure, you can ask me anything."

After a moment, Thea finally asks in a curious tone, "Do you love Lissy?"

His jaw going slack, he stutters a response. "Um, yeah. Yeah, I guess. I mean, yes. I do. She's one of my closest friends."

"I know that, silly. I wanna know if you love love her. Like the kissing kind of love. Because I think you do, and I think she loves you too. You should kiss her, Ollie, because she's the only one to make you smile after Daddy," her serious expression quickly turns into one of excitement as she gasps, "What if you get married?! Then Lissy will be my sister!"

Oliver laughs nervously, "Calm down, Speedy. Me and Felicity aren't gonna get married. Don't you remember that she's dating Tommy? I thought Tommy was your 'favoritest person ever'?"

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, "Not over you, dummy!"

He looks at her profile as she turns back to the flat screen tv, amazed at the younger Queen. They're going to be okay; he can feel it.

Felicity can't help letting her mind wander as she studies at Caitlin's house. After Oliver showed up in her room three weeks ago, they've been spending more time together than ever, and Felicity has never been so confused. She is a smart girl, a genius by anyone's standards and there is nothing she hates more than feeling confused about something, feeling helpless.

"Felicity!" Caitlin says, snapping her fingers in front of her face to get her attention.

"Sorry, what?"

"I asked what you got for number seven," she glances down at Felicity's paper, "Which you haven't done yet. What's on your mind?"

Felicity sighs before burying her face into her hands, "I don't know what I'm doing Cait! I think... I think I have feelings for someone - someone who isn't Tommy."

Caitlin looks at her sympathetically, a small knowing smile appearing on her face, "Oliver."

Removing her hands from her face, she looks up, "Am I that obvious?"

"Sweetie, it's been obvious since you were like, ten years old. I just thought that you were over that."

"So did I. But lately, we've been hanging out a lot and talking. And after his dad's funeral, we had a moment where," she takes a deep breath before continuing, "I thought he was going to kiss me. And when he didn't, I was disappointed. Cait, I'm a terrible person!"

Putting her arm around the blonde's shoulders, Caitlin reassures, "No you're not. You're human. You are the kindest, most compassionate person that I have ever known and if you could control your feelings, I know that you would. I think you just need to be honest with yourself."

"But I don't know what I feel, Cait."

"I know, but you'll figure it out."

Tommy is sitting in his Porsche in the driveway when Felicity leaves Caitlin's house. She slowly approaches the car, thinking about her conversation with Caitlin, and gets in the passenger seat.

"Thanks for picking me up. Mom needed the car for work," she says, not looking at Tommy.

He doesn't seem to notice her behavior because he just smiles, "No problem, Lis. I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to go see a movie."

"I'd really like that, but I can't. I think I'm going over to Oliver's tonight," she explains, trying to keep her voice steady. Felicity turns her head when she hears Tommy sigh loudly. He's staring straight ahead, gripping the steering wheel tightly in clear annoyance. "Look, I'm sorry about the movie. We can go see it tomorrow or something."

"It's not about the movie Lis. It's about Oliver. You've been spending a lot of time with him lately."

Felicity glares at him, trying to conceal her growing anger at his tone. "His father just died and he needs me. You of all people should understand, considering you claim that he's your best friend."

"He is my best friend, but he's not attached to my hip, is he? I get it, his dad died. But does he have to hang out with my girlfriend all the time?" he sighs as he pulls into her driveway.

She stares at him in astonishment before quickly getting out of the car and starting towards her house.

"Lis, c'mon! I'm sorry. You know I love Ollie and I'm glad he has you. I just wish he would open up to me, I guess. And I miss you," Tommy calls after her. He follows her to the front door, placing his hand on her elbow and turning her around.

Felicity sighs in understanding. She knows how much he's been missing Oliver the past couple months, "I know. Maybe tomorrow, you and Oliver can see the movie instead?"

"Yeah, yeah that's a good idea. Call me later though?"

"Of course," she says before placing a soft kiss to his cheek.

"I love you," Tommy says with a wistful look on his face before retreating to his car. He doesn't even notice the fact that Felicity doesn't say it back.

Her conversation earlier that afternoon with Tommy did nothing to appease Felicity's confusion. Nervously wringing her hands together, she stands outside Oliver's bedroom door, reluctant to go in for their long overdue movie night. However, her doubts are proved useless when the door swings open and Oliver is standing in front of her. Shirtless. Of course.

He looks at her, a small smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. "Why are you standing in the hallway?"

"Uhh," she stutters. She is trying really hard to find words to respond with but hot damn. You could bounce coins off those abs - those perfectly tanned abs. Oh my god, what is going on with me?! LOOK AT HIS FACE FELICITY! SPEAK! "I was just about to knock," she manages to spit out.

If he notices her wandering eyes, he doesn't show it because he simply turns around and retreats into his room. "Okay, well, I put a stack of movies and the obvious junk food near the foot of my bed," he calls to her while finally putting on a t-shirt, causing Felicity to release the breath she doesn't realize she's holding as the door closes.

"Awesome. Let me guess: horror movies?"

"Felicity. Do you know who you're talking to?" he asks with a tilt of his head and a laugh falling easily from his lips.

She laughs as she settles into the abundance of fluffy pillows atop Oliver's bed, holding out a movie for him to pop into the tv. After pressing play, he climbs onto the bed until his body is mere inches from hers, so close that she can feel the heat radiating from his skin. Sighing, Felicity can't stop the nervous thoughts from running through her mind. This is gonna be a long night.

They are about halfway through their second movie, which just so happens to be "It", and Felicity is wondering why they picked this movie. She hates clowns. And horror movies, come to think of it.

During a particularly creepy part, the ones where you just know something terrible is about to happen, Felicity can't help the small shriek that leaves her lips before she grabs Oliver's bicep with a death grip, burying her face into his shoulder.

"Felicity, if you hate horror movies so much, why do you always suggest them? We can watch something else," Oliver asks while looking down at her, hand unconsciously rubbing soothing circles on her leg.

She lifts her chin and wow; his face is super close. "Because you like them, and I know that you'll protect me. I always feel safe with you," she explains, voice barely above a whisper.

The movie all but forgotten, Felicity stares up under long lashes into Oliver's eyes, which she notices are much darker than usual. His eyes then flicker to her lips, tongue darting out to wet his own, before meeting hers once more. Ever so slowly, Oliver's face begins to move closer to hers, giving her enough time to pull away if she wants to. She doesn't. Instead, she finds herself closing her eyes and slowly shortening the remaining distance between them. Their lips just barely touch when a violent scream sounds from the television making them both jump, breaking the spell they were in.

Both of them quickly pull away, looking anywhere but at each other. Head feeling foggy, Felicity pushes the assortment of candy off her lap and rises from the bed. "I have to go," she offers lamely, unable to meet his eyes. She is out the door before Oliver has a chance to stop her. Running out of the mansion and to her car as fast as she can, Felicity can't stop the tears from falling down her face. I need to see Tommy. Now.