Chapter 7 A Chip in the Road

It was a quiet ride back to West Chester. Harvey drove swiftly and once or twice over the speed limit wanting to do nothing more than see his wife and children. If it were not for the fact that his brother kept trying to get him to talk, Harvey would have forgotten all about how uncomfortable the day had been.

"Come on, dickhead, it couldn't have been that bad. I didn't hear any kicking or screaming when I came down the hall." After Marcus had caught up with Harvey outside the hospital, Marcus had tried to get Harvey to tell him a little of what happened in the room. It was now a couple of hours since the meeting and Marcus just sat there watching his brother's jaw clench and his fingers grasp and ungrasp the steering wheel of his 1969 Mustang.

Harvey blew out his breath and sighed. He felt like he had been holding his breath for a long, long time.

"You know, Marcus. I don't know. I just have a hard time believing that our mother left because she still loved dad and didn't want to put him through the agony of continued unfaithfulness. She admitted to being selfish and that she also thought that it was good that she left because she was now in a position to help us financially if we ever needed it."

"Which you never allowed. You would sell your own soul first before allowing mom and John to help."

Harvey took a quick look at his brother knowing, in fact, that's about what Harvey had done. Sold himself to Charles Forster just so his brother would have a second chance at life. Luckily, Harvey was able to turn the tables on that manipulative son-of-a-bitch and keep his brother and those he loved safe. His eyes turned back to the road.

"Harvey, it's been done and over with for many, many years. Don't you think you ought to forgive her? She was young and beautiful. Put yourself in her place. Two young boys and a man who was never there. A man who earned a living but had to travel and never made that much anyway. Do you not see where she was coming from? She felt like she was being wasted and when young men came and paid attention to her she used them to her advantage."

"Marcus, cut the "I did it for you" bullshit argument. If she had truly loved her husband and her children she would have tried better to make their lives easier or at least left him before she had us. That's what any unselfish person would do. Leave before things had gotten too far."

""You know, Harvey, you have a huge chip on your shoulder. It's a wonder I never saw it before. It's amazing you ever got Donna to marry you. She should have cast you off after the first year."

Harvey came to a screeching halt on the side of the highway. They were only a few miles from home, but Harvey was really getting angry with his brother's attitude and did not want to endanger either of their lives by continuing to drive in his present state of irritation.

"Marcus, this has nothing to do with my relationship with Donna."

"Then tell me, Harv, how did you finally get Donna to marry you? You finally decided to leave a safe little bubble and venture into this thing we call "life". You never stayed with one woman or another for more than a night. The only two exceptions were Scottie whom I know you really never trusted but you tried. Then, of course, the love of your life, Donna. You almost blew it. She would have eventually left. She's a beautiful and smart woman. The only stupid thing she had done was fall in love with you and be loyal to you waiting for a little crumb of affection to fall her way to teach her to hope. I suppose you blame that behavior on our mother."

"You know Marcus. This is all water over the bridge now. Incidentally you're right. I almost lost Donna. However, I blamed mom because our father was crushed when I told him about our mother's infidelities and the day she left was the worst. I saw such vulnerability and such a passion in loving another person that I perceived dad as weak because he cared. I never wanted to appear weak. I thought and I told mom this that no one ought to hold that much sway over another person that they forget who they are!"

Marcus momentarily turned away from his brother because he finally saw that little spark of loving kindness in those deep dark eyes when Harvey spoke of his wife. Harvey possessed kindness in his heart in spades. He just never wanted the world to know that the big, bad Harvey Reginald Specter was, after all, a human being and could be just as vulnerable and love just as passionately as their father. Marcus loved his big brother and he knew Harvey loved him in return just as much. So to see Harvey keep pretending to all that he could not forgive his mother, would not allow his walls to come down in time to make amends and allow their mother this little victory at the end of her life caused Marcus to see that Harvey and his mother were two stubborn jackasses; and both would go to their graves with regret.

Harvey clapped his brother's shoulder and shook him back and forth gently.

"I am so sorry, Marcus. I never wanted you to see that side of me." Harvey said staring at his brother's blue eyes.

"I know you're human you old softie..." Marcus said punching his brother in his gut playfully.

"Let's go home," Harvey said. "I'm sure Donna will pounce on us the minute we get home."

They arrived home just before sunset. Amanda's baby tricycle had been left in front yard. Harvey placed it on the porch behind the wall before anyone could either steal it or it rolled away of its own accord. Although the Specters lived in an upscale neighborhood, one could never be too careful.

"Hi honey, we're home..." Marcus said loudly as he and Harvey came through the door.

Donna came in from the den with her red hair up in a ponytail dressed in yoga pants and a leotard. She held her forefinger in front of her mouth indicating that they be quiet.

"I just got the both of them to sleep for the night. We spent most of the day outside it was so beautiful. They wore their little selves out. You, (pointing at Marcus), will be a treat for them especially Mandy. How are you doing, Marcus? You look great," Donna said as she gave her brother-in-law a hug. Then her husband came seeking a kiss which she gladly gave him. She was surprised as Harvey's arms wound around her and held her tight. They were usually never very affectionate in front of people, but once in a while Harvey would surprise Donna with a kiss or his arm would find his way around her waist and gently squeeze. The stimulus which drove Harvey to this behavior always puzzled Donna because sometimes not even she, alone, could draw affection from him.

Donna moved into the den where she folded up her yoga mat and pressed the "stop" button on the DVR.

"You don't have to stop your yoga on our account, you know," Harvey said.

"Of course I do if I want to know what happened. Besides I'm done. Having that second baby, Specter, has made me a fat frump. You'll be lucky if I ever get fabulous again."

Harvey knew she was playing with him goading him into a compliment. Feeling generous as he saw how beautiful she was and knew she was working hard to be beautiful for him, he kissed her on the lips and said under his breath. "How's about you teach me some new yoga later, gorgeous?"

"Only you, Specter, only you," Donna said and patted his cheek.

Harvey smiled and looked into Donna's eyes hopefully showing her how happy he was to be home and with her.

Harvey pulled a bottle of scotch from the liquor cabinet and three glasses.

"Donna?"

"Oh, sure. It only makes Gordon sleep better if he gets a little booze in him," she joked. Actually she was going to have to wean Gordon early. Her milk just continually oozed from her breasts no matter how much she expressed. It was becoming rather inconvenient now that she was back at the office.

"You want our son to become an alcoholic at two months old?" Harvey joked.

"Funny, I thought he would have gotten that from his father considering that's how he got here in the first place." Donna rejoined.

"Oooo, good one," Marcus joined in the banter.

"Touche," Harvey said handing Donna the glass.

They all took a sip of the strong liquid. Harvey sat back on the plush couch and putting his arm around his wife took Donna with him. He kissed her on the nose and she laid her head on his shoulder. She could smell the outdoors on him plus his aftershave and his unique scent which made her feel safe and secure. It's funny because before they were a couple, his own masculine scent which pervaded through every pore of his office was what constantly drove her to him. He had always made her feel safe.

Marcus sat in the recliner across from the large glass coffee table. The recliner was bent halfway back when Marcus sighed, "What a day."

"What happened? Was it that bad?" Donna asked concerned for these two men, brothers, but for all you knew could have been strangers so unlike the other each was. Well, upon reflection Donna thought, maybe not that much different.

"They butt heads," Marcus said accusingly.

"Well, I suspected as much. Your brother has a very hard head so it butts up against the best of us," Donna volunteered.

"Whose side are you on?" Harvey said laughing a tiny bit looking at his wife.

"I'm on everyone's side. Forgive and forget, Harvey. Why continue to hold a grudge over something that happened so long ago?"

Harvey squeezed Donna against his side and as he looked up into her own dark eyes said quietly almost to her alone, "Because it brings back to me how much time we...I...wasted. We could have been together that much longer instead of feeling like we have to make up time for what I did."

Donna straightened and giving him a no-nonsense stare. "Things turn out the way they are supposed to." What if we had gotten together back then before your goals were achieved? You probably would have resented having a wife and children and blame us from you not achieving your potential. Instead of us being together now and successful we could easily have been divorced by now and I could have possibly taken our children and cohabited with a much more less deserving guy. We would have been probably unhappy instead of happy. You are happy, finally, Specter, aren't you?"

Harvey smiled. "Of course I am. I couldn't be happier."

Marcus chimed in and said, 'Ok good. Now that's out of the way, here's what happened..."

Marcus and Harvey both told Donna of their time with their mother. Donna came to feel that maybe Harvey just needed a little more push before he could really truthfully forgive his mother for all her inequities.

Monday came in like a lion. The beautiful Indian summer had turned quickly to cold. Donna knew Halloween was in a week, but before that she had to finalize the plans for Rachel's shower set for mid November just about a week before Thanksgiving and a month before the wedding. Being that Donna had cancelled all of Harvey's appointments and court appearances for two days, she had little time to contact the caterer and make an appointment to go see them. At the moment, it was 9:00 am and normally she and Harvey would have been in the office for an hour and Donna's mom would be here to look after the children before they both or Donna alone would come home and give mom relief. She had contemplated asking Harvey to allow her mother to stay a couple more months until she felt ready to give Gordon over to daycare, but on second thought Donna thought it would stretch the goodwill between her mom and her husband. After all, Roberta Paulsen knew how long it had taken Harvey Specter to snatch up her daughter before she could no longer bear him children.

Donna was sipping her coffee and gazing out the large kitchen window. She spotted Orioles in the branches of the tree whose branches would slightly tap at the window on a truly windy day.

"Well, hi, little person, how are you this morning?" Donna greeted her little red haired daughter walking her way to the kitchen island where Donna sat.

"Mommy," Mandy Specter said her eyes wide knowing that having her mom home three days in a row was a real treat.

"Want waffles?"

"Daddy's waffles," Mandy said distinctly. Harvey had a special recipe waffle he would make for the Mandy and her. He refused to give Donna the recipe stating that someday he would teach his daughter and son but that only born Specters were allow to know it. Donna, of course, knew that the secret ingredients were cinnamon and sugar in the mix, but she allowed Harvey this one hold over her.

"Daddy's outside with guess who?"

"Unca Marcs?" Mandy managed to say.

"Yep. I think they are coming in now. How about we meet them at the door? Your brother will be up soon and I will have to feed him," Donna led Mandy by the hand to the door where they waited until Harvey opened the door accompanied by Marcus.

Harvey opened the door and instead of jumping into her father's arms, Mandy ran right to her Uncle Marcus.

"There's one of the prettiest little girls in all the world," Marcus said to her as he swept her up into his arms all the while watching his brother roll his eyes almost as if that was the last thing that Harvey would say to his own child.

"Daddy's getting jealous," Harvey said as he kissed his daughter and took her from Marcus. Harvey carried her into the room and put her down in front of her big Victorian dollhouse in the children's playroom just adjacent to Harvey's den.

"Do you mind staying with her for a few minutes, Marcus? I have to work out some plans with Donna before we go back to the city, ok?"

"It would be my pleasure. Take all the time you need."

Harvey found Donna in the nursery feeding Gordon.

"Honey," Harvey said as he quietly approached his wife and son. It was times like these that Harvey had a hard time believing he actually had finally settled down. That was his beautiful wife feeding their son who was growing bigger by the minute. Soon they could share men's stuff like Harvard football and boxing and Harvey's all time favorite - baseball.

Harvey came closer and kissed Donna on the top of her head as his gaze fell to his son at her breast. He hungrily suckled.

Pointing to their son with her one hand, she said quietly, "He definitely inherited your suckling technique."

"Isn't it a little early to be provocative?"

"Who's provocative? I'm just telling you the truth."

Feeling playful Harvey bent lower next to her ear, "I could jump on the other one and you could compare."

"Harvey..."

"Hey you brought it up."

Laughing at their banter which since they had married had become almost foreplay, Donna looked up into Harvey's deep dark eyes which had suddenly become serious.

"What's the matter, love?"

"Marcus and I are going back into the city to see mom. Is that going to be a problem? I know you said you had to see the caterer about Rachel's shower..."

"No, it's ok. I'll just take the kids with me. I will see you later then."

"What do you think you will resolve this time?" Donna asked Harvey as he had turned away and was leaving the room.

Harvey turned around at her question. He threw his arms out as if to give up.

"I have no idea."

Harvey turned back and left the room leaving Donna wondering what would happen next.