A/N: I know it's been awhile since I posted. You know how it is balancing work and play. I should hopefully be able to get back at it a bit more regularly now though.
Once again I would like to thank those fine members of humanity who took the time to pause, hit the mouse once, jot some thoughts on the story and hit the mouse one more time. With that same effort you too, may find your name within the next chapter…
Seriously though you guys have helped drive this thing in some fun new directions so hats off to: DJ Duncan, Dagda06117032, axt, Lord Zander, mkusenagi2, trekkifulron, bigmark2005, Thoughts13.
A special nod to aedan cameron and beeftony who took some time to really profile the story and help point out some great ideas. Thanks guys.
Obligatory Disclaimer: Disney made the park, I'm just trying to add another ride. Regrettably I get no financial gain nor take credit for anything other than the new characters I have created.
Also this story definitely lives up to it's "M" rating; more so for graphic violence. So once again-if this sort of thing bothers you, please reset your browser to "K" and enjoy the fine work available there.
The Blade and the Bloom
Chapter 6: The road less traveled
Hong Kong, China
A seedy little bar on the shady side of the wrong side of town.
Jesus Ron, what are you doing in a place like this? Thought Kim as she almost slipped in a pile of God only knows what. The unknown, chunky fluid she was desperately hoping wouldn't soak through the sole of her boots pretty much summed up her impression of the establishment.
Stinky, foul, and decidedly unpleasant.
In her defense, she was right on the mark. Moving past the olfactory onslaught this was one of those places that the worst of the worst curl up in and try and hide from the world. They know that the police won't bother them, because they're terrified to even try and come here. Undercover cops don't even mess with crime havens such as this.
And frankly before this morning's festivities neither would Kim Possible, no matter how bad she wanted information.
But some one had done a little house cleaning recently…like melt the grimy paint off the wall and bounce heads off the ceiling type of cleaning.
There were bodies in various states of groaning agony and disturbingly wrong angled limbs littered everywhere she looked.
She had been tracking Ron for almost 36 straight hours now and this was the worst of the carnage she had seen yet.
After arriving at the Hong Kong International Airport she had dove head long into finding her lost friend. She had started by visiting the initial battle scene she had saw on the video clip and practically memorized on the flight over here. It had taken her breath away seeing how Ron was handling himself but terrified her at the same time considering the veritable bloodbath that he was engaging in.
The footage didn't do it justice. As she showed her GJ credentials to the lead investigator she narrowly avoided what she thought was falling debris. The cops were all rather impressed that she kept her lunch when she realized it was the dripping blood and meat of a street hood that had been impaled on a 3rd story fire escape. They had yet to figure a way to pull the body down given the flimsy grip the metal had on the remains of the wall.
As shocking as this scene was it was only the beginning of a series of grisly discoveries that the detective detailed to her. She wasn't sure if he was trying to get her sick and effectively off the case or emphasizing how much damage her "sidekick" as he put it- had actually imparted on his city.
Not that any of the cops really blamed him. In fact there was an unstated sentiment that each of these scumbags had got what they deserved. Also unsaid was their almost awe that one man had held his own against this amount of firepower.
Then the next call came in.
The clean up at the initial scene was progressing well when a distinctly original report had come in. According to dispatch a pair of well connected Triad members were found hanging upside down from a flag pole on the 39th story of a hotel about 12 blocks from here.
Kim quickly pulled up her Kimmunicator to contact Wade and see if he could start getting some Intel running on any leads. She wanted to kick herself as she hit the power button and nothing happened. At customs she had been required to pull the batteries for inspection and she had forgotten to replace them.
No sooner had the initial start up sequence ran than a very anxious Wade was bellowing, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"
"Sorry Wade but I forgot to…" she started
"Ron called and he is going after these guys in a big way! He practically threatened me for information on the Hong Kong underworld…" interrupted.
"Please tell me you didn't give him anything?" pleaded Kim.
"I had to give him something, so I downloaded some mid level Triad bosses that Interpol had a descent bead on. They seemed pretty harmless, but that's not what is worrying me Kim…"
"Oh, besides the war zone I'm standing in and Ron's one man witch hunt what could possibly be unsettling?" came an exhausted and sarcastic reply.
"His eyes…" seeing her questioning expression he elaborated, "His eyes were glowing blue! His whole demeanor was like nothing I had ever seen before."
"Well down load me what you gave him and see if you can cross reference anything you think these guys may have given him. Me and the lead detective are heading to where they are…hanging out right now."
It wasn't pretty.
It seems they probably did talk from the dejected, yet terrified looks on their faces when they were cut down. Not that anyone could blame them. Apparently Ron's normal "Note serious face" hadn't phased the hardened crooks, so he was forced to resort to less pleasant forms of interrogation.
Frankly she was having a hard time believing he had anything to do with what she saw before her. The simple face bruises and broken fingers she could probably accept…but at some point he apparently felt the need to start using that sword of his in a more unorthodox manner.
The hand tendons being severed must not have been enough but apparently when he sliced off both of their left ears they felt that he was serious in his intentions to cut the truth out of them.
As if that wasn't odd enough, the EMT's pointed out that all the major bleeders that potentially could have killed the men had been somehow healed…they had never seen anything like it.
From Wade's data crunching she had a short list of possible upcoming events.
And so began the chase.
It led from the flag pole to some seemingly random assaults that all seemed far too efficient with nothing taken. The only two connecting factors were that they were all involved with the crime syndicate that had abducted Shego, any life threatening wounds had seemed to of miraculously healed themselves and absolutely no innocents were hurt.
Now 36 hours later she was wiping the aforementioned goo off her boot and assessing whether or not her friend had used a tank main gun on the seedy little bar.
Ron ,what are you doing? Her mind pleaded for some sense of explanation. There had to be some reason he had seemingly gone over the deep end. She kept coming back to the same thing…
Shego
It had to be her. She had to be the insidious influence that had corrupted her sweet and care free Ron. She just refused to believe any other scenario.
As the local cops were taping off the scene and trying to keep from hurling at the grotesquely angulated limbs she noticed something.
About 3 blocks away in a 2nd story window she saw a distinct blue flash. Probably just a TV screen… but something bothered her and she decided to play her hunch.
Slipping back out of the circle of growing spotlights and investigators she made her way down the dank little street to the building that had housed the window.
The smells of urine and decay assaulted her in the run down lobby of the nasty little hotel. Fortunately that was all that assailed her; it seemed the worst baddies had skipped out when the commotion down the street kicked up.
She worked her way up the rickety stairs and towards the room where the light had emanated. Stopping short she listened for any sign of someone on the other side of the rotting door.
She heard only one sound and it unsettled her more than she cared to admit.
It was the sound of whimpering. Not the sound of a baby mewling for milk, but the distinct and unforgettable sound of a grown man poorly accepting his own mortality.
Then she heard a voice.
"You can come in Kim, I know you're out there." She was certain it was Ron but it sounded so much…darker than she had ever heard.
She tentatively pushed the door open…she was not ready for what she beheld.
Ron was sitting in an old office like chair in the middle of the room; from the haggard look on his face he had been pushing himself longer than most anyone should be able to. He looked up at her with a face marred with a mixture of anguish and something that looked oddly like…hope.
This seemed quite the contrast for the rooms only other occupant. An overweight and almost tackily overdressed middle aged Chinese man was suspended up side down from an exposed rafter in the ceiling. Electrical cords were cutting into his ankles and small rivulets of blood were slowly soaking his soiled tan pants even further.
The part that caused her to stifle a small gasp was that a small incision had been made in his belly and at least 3 feet of his intestine had been meticulously pulled out and let to dangle in front of his now pasty face.
When Ron next spoke his voice seemed to take on a disturbingly friendly and neutral tone,
"Ah, Kim you have joined me and my friend Chen here for a fascinating discussion. It seems that he is wired into just about every major elicit activity that happens in this part of town. So when say, someone needs to arrange transport of a kidnapped woman…" he paused and gave the man a meaningful glance' "he should know something about it."
"Ron you can't do this…"
He cut her off with his maddeningly polite voice, "Oh and why is that Kim? Because of some self imposed rule of being a good guy? Because society says I am supposed to play by some higher moral ethic? Well guess what, society only works if everyone plays by the same rules- and these guys aren't playing…" he paused to let her understand his sincerity in his next words,
"These men only understand one thing- malice, they only respect one thing- power. If getting back what they took from me requires me to embrace those principles, they will find that I am a quick learner. Now you can leave or you can stay but I have a conversation to finish."
She almost wished he had yelled, stood up or did something to betray a hint of remorse or concern. Instead he just calmly turned back to the task at hand.
"Now where were we…"
She had to admit that from a clinical view point he was exceedingly efficient. He would ask a question and give the man 30 seconds to collect his thoughts.
If he was satisfied with the answer he would heal one of the various smaller wounds or even allow the man to be propped up on a table briefly to let the blood rush out of his head.
If he was not satisfied…she would never forget how that played out.
Ron would not yell or call the man a liar. He would simply stand and steadily pull out another half foot of intestine. He would then let the Lotus Blade flare a dark blue and heal the wound and the eviscerated bowel. If the man passed out form the pain or shock, Ron would simply repeat the process over the man's chest or head and he would be brought back to conscious.
It was a disturbingly peaceful and quite operation. Over the course of the next hour they had learned everything they needed. Ron went over his notes asked a few clarifying questions and then walked over and pressed firmly on his neck at which the man went limp.
Ron then proceeded to carefully reopen the bowel, push the intestines back in and held the blade over his stomach. After an intense blue light filled the room he checked his vitals and gave a slight nod,
"He'll be fine."
After sitting in stunned silence through out the whole ordeal she finally found her voice slightly trembling, "Ron, what have you become?"
He sighed as he walked to her and knelt in front of where she sat on a couch, he took her hands and said with a clear and unflinching voice,
"I have become what the situation required. I did not enjoy this at all, but it was the only way to get the information I required in time. God only knows what those animals are doing to Shego right now." He paused and pushed the thought form his mind,
"Regardless Kim, I have never been more clear on one objective in my life…I need to find her and get her back."
She had enough; the shock of the gory scene had stunned her into a semi-haze as she watched him physically extract the man's secrets. But now she rebounded in spades,
"What in the hell are you thinking Ron!?! This is torture, looking past the legal side what about your soul? What has she done to you!?!" she further ranted everything she could think about how he had become a monster, and how could he possibly rationalize this until he finally interrupter her. She barely heard him at first because was speaking barely over a whisper…
"I love her"
"WHAT!?!"
"I know it is probably the last thing you want to hear but I do positively love her. I can't explain it, but hell who ever can when feelings run this deep?" He noted the stunned silence and dumbfounded look on her face and forced himself to push on,
"To answer your question, no she has not manipulated me or mind zapped me. In fact she tried to push me away when we realized this situation was developing. It was then after I realized how close to darkness the thought of her leaving me took me that I realized that she is my balance." He took a deep breath and concluded,
"And yes Kim I would sell my soul or whatever it takes to get her back."
She had never once in her life heard him speak with more passion about anything…
She was at a loss. The gears in her head were spinning like mad, but she just couldn't get them to click.
They say there are defining moments in your life when everything just comes into focus and you can see far more clearly. Kim Possible the Girl Who Can Do Anything would later recall that this was one of those moments.
All the pent up tension and general angst that had grown between the two of them over some time now was laid out before her. The blow-out the other night at the bar. That kiss at the Prom. A thousand little moments, good and bad with this person who had been her best friend culminated in a single thought…
He's right.
We were never really equally matched, and we just never wanted to see it. He has always been there for me out of the fierce love and loyalty that we developed but somehow we never chose to confront the cold hard truth…we are cut from far different cloth. Maybe Shego somehow does balance out his 'Ronness'.
She looked back at the man laid out on the floor and tried to comprehend where all that in with what she just saw. How am I supposed to deal with what he just did? How can we move on from here?
He watched patiently as these thoughts and more played out across her face. After some time he leaned forward again and gave her the most heartfelt look he had ever given her,
"Kim I don't expect you to understand, approve of or even forgive what I have done here. I do have to ask you one thing and I know how hard it will be… I need your help to get her back."
She did not want to hear that…at all. "You have got to be kidding me…I jumped half way around the world to come rescue you! Not my arch foe! I thought you needed help!"
"I do. You heard him. Where they have taken her is not exactly Green Acres and I need someone to watch my back." Seeing the conflicted look on her face he decided to pull out his last ace, "Kim in all the years we have been together I have always had your back and never once have I asked you to trust me like this…but I need your help to save her."
She was torn. She knew the right thing to do was help her oldest friend. No matter where they stood as far as a relationship goes, she knew he would be there for her. But another part knew that she had a duty to take him in for what she had seen and his earlier rampage.
Looking for a middle ground she took the page of notes from Ron and pulled out her Kimmunicator. "I am not promising anything- let's see what Wade can find out…"
"Hey Kim-did you find Ron?" came the anxious visage of her tech guru.
"Yeah he's here with me now…please don't ask for details. I need everything you got on the northern border of Pakistan and Afghanistan…" she was looking at the notes for further details when he interrupted.
"How did you know already?"
"What are you talking about, Wade? I have a…source here on Shego's abduction…"
"Must be a popular destination then, because you just got a mission request from GJ. It looks like Dr. Dementor is in that same area going after a nuclear power cell at one of their power facilities."
Kim thought about it for a brief moment, she looked at Ron who had a far off look in his eye. "Maybe we can make this work…Wade I need a ride for two. In route I have a list of notes and leads I need you to track down and see if we can get a bead on where they are holding Shego"
"So which mission are you tackling?" Ron's head swiveled up at that and she looked him in the eye. With a nod she realized that for better or worse she would always back him up like he had her.
"Both."
"OK, I'll get cracking on this right away, your ride will be landing at the nearby pier in 20 minutes."
With a tired smile she began to sign off, "As always Wade you ro…", something on the screen behind Wade came into view and she suddenly saw…
"Wade is that Bonnie behind you!?!
Middleton, CO
The basement operations center of one surprised super genius
Wade jumped like he had been bitten.
"What are you doing here!?! How did you get in?!?" he exclaimed as he instinctively hit the privacy mode on all his screens.
Bonnie looking far more vulnerable than she had probably let anyone see her in a LONG time was torn on what to say. After a substantial pause she seemed to have reached a decision….
"Your Mom let me in…I need your help."
Wade was stumped, "Uh, er…OK, what can I do?" he barely stuttered out. Having someone else in his room, this close that looked that good…well it was far more than his insecurities with people was ready to handle.
For her part Bonnie was a bit surprised as well. All she had ever seen of Wade was a pudgy little head shot on the Kimmunicator.
Hmmm, he has definitely been working out. Not bad……Wait NOT what I'm here for… was her inner monologue while she tried to figure out how best to actually ask another human being for help- not her strong point.
"Listen Wade, I know you have absolutely no reason to help me, much less trust me…I made a mistake and I'm trying to fix it." She spat out with more honest emotion than he had ever heard from her.
Intrigued he calmed down a bit, fixing problems is after all what he did, "All right why don't you sit down. I have to sign off with K.P. and I'll be right with you." Turning around to the console he unsecured the privacy mode to an expectant red head…
"WADE! Where did you go? Are you all right? Bonnie isn't trying to mess with you or anything is she…"
"Easy Kim! Don't worry about Bonnie…" he said cutting off the incoming assault of questions. He briefly looked off screen at the almost fragile looking Bonnie and sighed briefly, "I am sure everything will be fine. I am receiving the info from your source right now and I will run it all to ground by the time you get to your drop zone."
"What do you mean easy!?! You have that conniving bitch in your room and you expect me to take it easy!?! Are you sure your…."
"KIM! This falls squarely in that arena we talked about where you either trust my judgment or count me off the team. Make a decision and get back to me if you decide to get off your high horse. You better get going your ride is almost there." With that he cut the connection and turned to a rather astonished brunette a few feet away.
After a brief second of disbelief she had to ask, "Did you just handle K and cut her off…for me?"
He wasn't sure what to say. Instantly his apprehension about people and poor social skills came back to the fore front, "Uh, well I wish I could say it was; she has just proven lately that she needs to be reminded that her friends need to be treated more like, well, um- friends…"
"Hmmmmm…" was all she could think as she re-appraised the young man in front of her. He's obviously uncomfortable as hell with me in here; not like I'm anymore comfortable being here…need to take it easy…boy he did put her in her place. Regardless of reason it felt nice that he didn't immediately back her 'bitch' thing…
After some brief introspect she decided to put her cards on the table…
"Regardless of why, thanks. I'm really not looking for a tussle with K right now. As for your question I need your help to fix a big mistake…" she paused and unconsciously bit her lip as she thought back,
"I got in a fight with my brother Blake right before he…went off…I said some things I didn't mean…he probably…hates…" her building tears finally spilled forward effectively cutting off the rest of her sentence. Get a hold of yourself, girl- he probably will see this as weakness and walk all over….
Now we all know this is where Wade would have scored major cool guy points playing the sensitive understanding guy with an affectionate hug that she would have willingly curled up into and who knows what else…but come on folks this is Wade.
In his growing panic at this much human contact and complete ineptitude at personal interaction he did the only thing his analytical mind could muster. He grabbed a box of Kleenex and for fear of actually touching the beautiful girl, threw it to her.
Hitting her square in the head as she leaned forward to rub her eyes.
"What in the hell!?!" She started to yell until she saw the utterly crestfallen and good natured look on his face.
He was trying to be nice? Even though I lost it and showed weakness he… At a loss for understanding she just rubbed her forehead, sat back down and took a tissue. After blowing her nose she looked at him and could easily tell he was mortified and damn near catatonic. She decided to let him off the hook…
"Thanks…I think"
After assessing that she was in fact not going to lash out like a tigress he found his voice…barely, "I am soooo sorry. I just meant…er..I just wanted to, uh…."
"I understand Wade." She paused reassessing him yet again, "This is really tough for you isn't it…me being here?"
Jumping on any turn of subject from his goof up he started to ramble quickly, "Uh, yeah. My folks thought it was Agoraphobia and then my child hood shrink thought it was some sort of Hikikomori but after I got my first doctorate in Psychology I was able to assure my Mom I am just REALLY shy around people….uh, what are you looking at?"
"Did you just say your FIRST doctorate?" she asked in disbelief.
"Did I mention that? Uh, did I forget to mention I'm not that comfortable talking about myself…really NOT comfy…uh, so back to you…what can I do to help!"
Deciding to let it drop, for now; she collected herself and tried to explain a little more clearly this time; "Like I was trying to say before I, uh, well like I was saying; I got in a fight with Blake and well we left on really bad terms. I was hoping maybe with all your techno know how; you could maybe…."
"Get you in touch with him?" He concluded for her sensing her apprehension. "I don't know Bonnie. My guess is he is really out of touch…"noting the dejected look growing on her face he turned to his computers and finished, "but that doesn't mean I can't give it a try!" Thank God she doesn't have a Puppy Dog Pout! That on her body I'd probably get her into Fort Knox if she asked!
"Thanks…"
"No sweat, but why don't you save the thanks until I have something to offer."
More vulnerable than she had felt in along time she felt compelled to let him now she appreciated his efforts, "You don't understand Wade, just by not kicking me out the door, you have…well…ah hell, forget it…"
No one ever said Bonnie Rockweller was gifted in the feeling conveyance department.
In a startling moment of clarity Wade managed to say just the right thing, sort of, "I'm no more used to a beautiful woman asking me for help in person than you are for asking it- so let's just call it straight and see what I can do to help out."
With that he absorbed himself in the task at hand. Considering neither of them had a clue where Blake's team was didn't help much. Utilizing his extensive resources he was able to get a code for a redirected video feed signal through what seemed an endless series of satellites and transponders. The end result was an untraceable connection with an end user who currently wasn't accepting transmissions- but a connection none the less.
"That's about as good as I am going to get for now, at least until they decide to accept incoming messages", he admitted to her after explaining the situation.
"So what do we do now?" she asked. Her expression while hopeful still came across a bit deflated.
While immersed in the ether of his electronics he had taken on such a commanding and confidant demeanor. She had been impressed watching him in his element. Some of her brother's recent admonishments about her choice of friends and where she was taking her life came back to the fore front. She knew that Blake had her best interests at heart but it was going to take a lot more than a few pep talks to get her to change her spots.
Still, he has a point. None of my so called friends would have immediately jumped to helping me like Wade just did. He really cares about people, kinda like…
"All we can do is wait", stated Wade snapping her out of her introspection.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Well I tell you what I'm hungry, and it seems I owe you, so…"
"I can have my mother make us up something!" he blurted trying to be helpful, and secretly fearful of where this may be heading…
She stopped and smiled. He doesn't even realize how geeky that sounded.
Understanding that he probably had never been on out with a girl for dinner she decided to play along instead of putting him on the spot. Beside then no one will see me with….NO! I'm not going to let that food chain shit make me hurt his feelings…
"Sure, why not."
So they went upstairs and made some oven pizzas with his mother, who was ecstatic that her reclusive son not only had a girl in the house but such a pretty one at that!
For her part Bonnie secretly was enjoying herself. Her household never just made meals together or sat around and talked. It was a brief look into a type of life she had only glimpsed in other's homes.
Not to long after they had sat down to eat a beep went off from Wade's belt, "We got a response! Let's go!"
And in a flash they descended back down to his console where a VERY large black man was yelling through the main flat screen…
"Who in the hell are you people, this is a restricted signal on reserve status for…" as Wade came into the view of the camera, "Oh you- it's that techno kid that works with Kim. Wait one second…. Hey Boss you may want to see this!"
There was a few moments as some words were exchanged off camera and next an angry visage of Blake's form filled the screen, "Wade!?! You can't hack this signal man, I need it open for…" then a look of fear crossed his face and he his tone changed to worry,
"Is Bonnie OK? Is it Kim? What…"
"It's OK Blake. I'm sorry to have hacked your secure signal but I have someone here that really needed to talk to you. I, uh, well I'll just let her explain…" he turned and looked at Bonnie,
"You're on. I'll leave you alone. Let me know if you need anything…"
Bonnie thanked him quietly and sat in the chair, "Hi bro." she stated hesitantly.
"Bonnie!?! Is everything all right?" he seemed uncharacteristically unsure of himself.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Well no I'm not, it's just I…it hit me after you left and I said all those mean things…Blake, you're the only one who…who…" her tears said far clearer what she was trying to get across.
Blake's face on the screen softened as he began to understand. "Bonnie, I know you didn't mean those things. I knew it before you finished saying them. That's all just the cast iron bitch wall you built to survive your mother and sisters. I understand. I love you kiddo and the fact you went to all this trouble to tell me this means a lot to me…"
"But I don't want to be like that…especially to you." She blurted it out before she knew what she was saying and was frankly astonished the words came from her mouth.
"That's about the best thing I could have heard from you. You've always been a great sister, even when you weren't a good person. Looks to me though that your choice in friends may be improving…"
Noting the confused look on her face, he motioned with his head behind her towards where she was.
"Wade probably broke a dozen international laws getting you through to me. Seems to me that is the type of person you might want to invest your time in a bit more than those little groupies at the mall. Just a suggestion."
He looked somewhere off camera and gave a nod, "Listen sis it really means a lot to me that you got a hold of me, but I am really…in the middle of something here that needs my attention. I have to go; but know that I love you and will always be there for you. Tell Wade to talk to Steve before you kill the signal."
"Thanks for understanding Blake and, well, uh…I love you too." Turning with a spent look she called for Wade, who quickly got on the line with the big man and talked briefly in that insane techno speak she couldn't possibly decipher.
"Thanks Steve for the pointer on the signals and this info for the transceiver; I'll get right on it! Good luck and stay safe!" signing off he turned to what appeared to be a shell of the teen vixen he knew as Bonnie Rockweller.
Uncertain of what to do he stood, grabbing something and walked over to her. "I promise not to hit you with them this time…" he lamely joked as he handed her the box of tissues.
With a surprised smile she took the box and looked at him with red rimmed eyes, "Thanks. You really are something else."
Blushing ferociously he walked back to the security blanket of his computers. "Just glad I could help…"
Years later she would look back and wonder if this was the moment that her life took a turn and whether she would still blame her brother's "bad" influence as what caused her to do it. Regardless she got up and hugged him.
"You did help me. And you know what I think I'm starting to understand some the stuff my bro has been trying to tell me. So I'm going to do something I don't think gets done often enough…"
Nervously he bit at the bait, "What's that?"
"I'm going to help you. Be ready to go; tomorrow at 5. I'll take care of everything else."
Turning on her heals she left with what would seem to be the first genuine smile she had worn in a long time.
When his mother cautiously entered later she was startled when she found him eyes glossed over and seemingly in a trance.
"What's wrong!?!" she asked as she shook him back to reality.
His response damn near put her into a trance, "If I didn't know any better I think I have a date with Bonnie Rockweller…"
The North Atlantic
Global Justice Supermax Penitentiary, sole facility of a small, cold island
"No grass! No grass! Not even a blade of weed! What sort of inhumane monster would put the world's most dangerous golfer on a stinkin' rock with NO GRASS!"
And so went Duff Killigan's nightly ritualistic rant, much to the guards and his neighboring cell mate's disgust. He seemed almost fixated on this singular point and would nightly enlighten them all to his disdain for his accommodations.
So in hindsight it is not all that surprising that the escape went off so easily. In fact it was a pretty pathetic resistance put up by the guards when the shape charge blew in Duff's cell wall and a rope ladder unfurled to whisk the mad golfer away.
Climbing in to the pilot less drone helicopter he found a bag containing his normal kilt and clothes. Attached to a brand new golf bag stocked with his special balls was a note,
Dear Mr. Killigan,
Your singular talents have been requested on the behest of my employer. You need not worry yourself with the details your travel will be taken care of as well as any food, equipment or items you may require. Simply state your needs to the voice box on the console and they will be awaiting your arrival. In the mean time I encourage you to make yourself comfortable and enjoy your new found freedom. At the completion of this operation you will be handsomely rewarded to the tune of 10 million dollars with substantial bonuses dependent on your contributions to our mission.
I look forward to meeting you in person and thank you in advance for your assistance.
Very Respectfully,
Your Liberator.
"Cryptic crap! Who do they think they are messin' with? I should…" noting something on the seat to his left he paused,
"Grass!" he exclaimed as he contentedly sat down with the latest issue of Golf Digest.
Several hundred miles away a man spoke into a phone as he watched a closed circuit feed of the helicopter's cabin.
"Yes sir, it would appear Duff Killigan has been brought into the fold."