"I miss you," I said with tears in my eyes. "I want to come home." He ran his hands over my hips, down my bare legs, and I shivered.
"I know, Baby, I know," he said as his lips ghosted over mine. "You have to be a good girl now though, okay? Can you do that for Daddy?" he asked kissing my lips again.
"Yes, I would do anything for you," I told him. "I love you."
"You will never know how much I love you," he said as he covered my mouth with his own. His kisses were always sweet and they were never rushed or dominate, but that was the way the kissed turned. I knew I couldn't pull away. I could feel my teeth cutting into my lips.
"If James really loved you, he wouldn't have giving you back to me." That voice, I knew that voice. "I can't believe you just gave yourself to him, well, yes I can. I always told you that you would be a little slut!" It was Phil. I tried to run, but he was quicker. "You will never get away from me!" he yelled and then his hand hit my face.
"Ohmygod!" I said as I sat up in the bed.
"What the fuck Bella?" I heard Edward say. I didn't know where I was, and my body was shaking. "Fuck, Bella, are you okay?" Again I couldn't answer. "Bella, it's me, Edward," he said in his sexy smooth voice. "Baby, you're safe. I won't let anything happen to you," he said as I tried to get my breathing under control. "It was just a dream," he said as I closed my eyes. "That's right, just breathe. It was just a bad dream," he said gently rubbing my back.
I felt exhausted. I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them tightly. I jumped when I heard the alarm go off a few minutes later. Edward shut it off and pulled me to him. I lay on his chest, and I could feel my cold sweat on him.
"I need a shower," I said. "I'm okay now," I said sitting up.
"You haven't had a bad dream in a while," he said as I got out of bed. "What happened in this one?" he asked.
"Um...dad was kissing me, telling me to be good. He told me that he loved me, and then he kissed me again. The kiss...it wasn't his, it was Phil's and then he called me a slut and he hit me. He said Dad gave me back to him," I said as a shiver ran through my body.
"It was just a dream," he said as I nodded my head.
"I know. What would you like for breakfast?" I said wanting to start my day. I knew I just needed to forget it and go on with my day. I knew the move was what triggered the dreams again; I just had to work through them.
"Pancakes?" he asked with a smile. I nodded my head and headed for the shower. After I was done in the shower and dressed I was ready to make breakfast.
"It will be okay for me to go down and cook, right?"
"Yeah, they already said it was okay," he said giving me a quick kiss before I headed out of the room. The house was so quiet it was almost scary. It was six thirty by the time I got to the kitchen. I found everything that I needed easily, and started the batter. When I had three pancakes done, it was a little after seven and Esme walked into the kitchen.
"Good morning, Bella," she said with a smile.
"Morning, I started the coffee, I hope that was okay," I said as she slowly reached for my arm.
"It's perfectly fine," she said rubbing my arm.
"Would you like a pancake?"
"Oh, no thanks. Just coffee for me in the morning," she said with a smile. She sat at the island and watched me. I knew she was going to talk to me, but I really wasn't a morning person. It worked out great with James and Edward, because neither one of them spoke much before noon.
"So, are you all ready for school?" she asked.
"Yes. Do you want my old school book? Will you get them to Emily?" I asked.
"I can do that for you," she said with a smile.
"Does everyone else eat breakfast?"
"Yes, they just usually eat cereal or something," she said as I bit my lip. "If you want to make breakfast for everyone, I am positive that they will eat it," she said as my smile grew.
"Um... how much do Emmett and Alice eat?" I asked not knowing if I was offending anyone.
"Oh, Emmett will eat all of it if we let him," she said with a laugh. "Alice will only eat one," she said as I continued making breakfast. "So, you do this every morning?"
"Yes. I like doing it," I said with a smile. I was grateful when Edward walked into the kitchen looking sexier than hell. He was wearing a pair of jeans that hung on his hips and a white T-shirt. He made everything look good. I put two pancakes on a plate for him and sat it in front of him. No words were exchanged between the two of us, but that was how we were.
"Coffee or milk?" I ask him.
"Coffee," he said as I poured him some. I flipped the last pancake on to the plate and did up the dishes that I had dirtied.
"I can do those Bella," Esme said.
"It's okay, I got it," I said as I went about my task.
As soon as I was done with the dishes Edward was done eating. I took his dirty dishes and then poured him another cup of coffee. I looked around the kitchen to make sure that everything was clean before I sat to eat. I sat next to Edward when Alice and Emmett walked into the kitchen. I went to get up to get them breakfast, but Edward grabbed my leg so I wouldn't stand. I looked to him and he shook his head no.
"Pancakes for breakfast! This is the best morning ever!" Emmett said putting three big pancakes on his plate. "Thanks, Bella," he said giving me a smile.
"You're welcome," I said looking back at my food. Just seeing Emmett brought back the memory of my dream and I was suddenly not hungry any more.
"Don't let it bother you, eat," Edward said knowing what I was thinking.
"Yes, Edward," I said taking a small bite of my food.
"Did I do something again?" Emmett asked with a mouth full of food.
"No, you're fine," Edward answered him for me.
"Oh my god! These are the best pancakes ever!" Alice gushed.
"I'm glad you like it," I said feeling proud. Carlisle walked in and I kept my eyes on my food.
"Good morning family," he said. This whole family was full of morning people and I knew that would put Edward in a bad mood. I had to make sure I was extra good. "Did you both sleep well?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes," Edward answered. I knew he didn't want him knowing that I was had a nightmare. That was one of the things that James had always told us, shrinks get into your head and make you think things. That made sense right?
"You okay?" Edward asked. I nodded my head telling him that I was. "I'm going to get our bags, I'll be right back," he said giving me a quick kiss on the forehead. "For everyday of forever," he whispered in my ear. He always knew that made me feel better. I finished my food and started on the dishes.
"Bella, we have a dish washer," Alice said.
"It's quicker to do them by hand when there's so little," I said not turning to talk to her.
"Can I do your hair?" she asked coming to stand next me.
"No, my hair is done," I told her.
"Well, can I do your make up?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I don't wear makeup," I said getting mad. Why wouldn't she just let it go?
"Every girl wears makeup."
"Alice, seriously! I don't do my hair and I don't wear makeup."
"Okay, I'm sorry," she said walking away from me. I knew I hurt her feeling, but she wouldn't freaking stop. After I finished the dishes that I dirtied, I started to feel really bad for hurting Alice's feelings.
"May I go downstairs and see Alice?" I asked directly to Carlisle.
"Bella, you don't have to ask me for permission to go anywhere in the house," he said. I still stood there and waited for him to say yes. "Bella, go see Alice. You don't have to ask," he said as I nodded my head and walked away. I walked down the stairs and I heard her talking on the phone.
"She got mad at me and I was only trying to be nice. She seems so sad, Jasper," she said as I knocked on her door. I knew I was being rude for interrupting, but I needed to say sorry before I lost the nerve. "Come in," I heard her say as I slowly pushed the door open. "Hey, I'll see you in a little bit," she said into her phone.
"Sorry, I can come back," I said as I turned to leave.
"No, it's fine, please come in," she said. I did as she said and shut the door.
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings," I told her as she smiled.
"It's okay. I'm sorry if I crossed a line," she said. "I'm just a little excited to have a sister." For some reason hearing her call me her sister made me smile. No one has ever called me their sister.
"How about this," I said sitting next to her. "I will talk to Edward and see if he minds and then this weekend you can make me all girly," I said.
"It's your face and hair you don't have to talk to Edward about it."
"But, I do."
"Why?"
"It's just how we work."
"You ask him to do everything?"
"For the most part."
"Does he ask you before he does stuff?"
"No, he doesn't have to."
"Why?"
"Because he's the man," I said as she sat there and stared at me. I knew she wanted me to say more, but I wasn't going to. When living with a foster family you don't get to know them. Nothing is permanent, you can't get attached. That was my mistake with James; I was very attached to him. I never thought I would be pulled away from him, but life showed me differently. Nothing was a sure thing. I sometimes thought I was making a mistake for loving Edward as much as I did.
"Okay, well I need to finish getting ready," I said getting up to leave her room.
"Bella, if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here for you. Just so you know, I would never tell anyone what we talk about," she said with a smile.
"Thanks," I said with a smile.
I felt better after talking to Alice. When I reached the top of the stairs Edward was just coming down.
"What were you doing?" he asked me holding both of our bags.
"I hurt Alice's feelings so I went to say sorry," I told him as he glared at me.
"How did you do that?"
"She wanted to do my hair and makeup, and she wouldn't let it go. I told her no, and she got offended," I said as he smiled.
"Well, I'm glad you said no. You're perfect just the way you are," he said as I smiled at him. "You are the most beautiful person I know." I wrapped my arm around his waist.
"I love you so much. I don't ever want to lose you," I told him as I molded myself to him.
"It will never happen," he said kissing my hair. "We can talk more later, but for now, you need to clean out our bags," he said as we walked to the kitchen. "We have to make sure Emily gets our books."
"Esme said she would do it for us," I said as he smiled. When I entered the kitchen Esme and Carlisle were talking quietly. I took Edward's bag first and when I looked inside I was appalled.
"When was the last time I organized your bag?" I asked feeling frustrated.
"You do it once a week," he said looking at the inside.
"This is awful! Why do you have a folder if you aren't going to use it?!" I asked raising my voice.
"It's not that bad," he said with a shrug. I pulled out all of the loose papers. I looked at everything to make sure that I could throw them away. "Just throw it all away," he said as if it was no big deal.
"Edward Anthony! Why would I do that? You could most likely use these. I have no clue how you can get such good grades and be a slob like this!"
"I know where everything is," he said brushing it off. He knew how much I hated things out of their places. "Why are bitching about it? You know you are just going to the same thing again next week," he said. He was use to me bitching about this it was an every week thing.
"I just don't see how hard it is for you to put papers in a folder," I said shaking my head. After five minutes of fixing his bag I was able to start on mine.
"May I ask a question?" Carlisle asked. We both looked to him and waited. "First of all, it is good to see that you can say what you feel, Bella, but what's the big deal?" he asked as Edward laughed, I shot him a dirty look.
"You have no idea what a neat freak she is. I can guarantee that she wants to go through this whole kitchen and redo it," he said with a laugh. Both Esme and Carlisle laughed because Edward's laughter was so contagious.
"Is that true?" Esme asked me. If looks could kill, Edward would have been dead.
"No... well, not as much as I want to get my hands on the office," I said as I went about my business.
"What's wrong with the office?" Carlisle asked.
"Bella, may I?" Edward asked as I rolled my eyes at him. He laughed knowing I was irritated with him. "This is how well I know this sweet girl. The top three things that drive her crazy are, your book aren't alphabetized, something isn't centered, and she knows a better way the room would look," he said as Carlisle looked at me for conformation.
"The desk is really cluttered as well," I said as they all busted out laughing. "Glad I could amuse you," I said zipping up my bag and walking out of the kitchen.
"Bella! Don't be mad, come here," Edward said. I knew I didn't have the chose to keep walking. "I think your cleaning fetish is cute," he said hugging me. "She only gets in the cleaning mode when she is upset," Edward said standing up looking at his watch. "When does..."
"Everyone ready?" Emmett said from behind us and I jumped. "Sorry...again," he said sounding embarrassed. "Why do I scare you so much?" I looked to Edward asking him with my eyes for him to answer for me.
"Honestly, it's because you are big and loud," Edward said.
"Why do you talk for her so much?" Emmett asked and I could tell by his tone he was frustrated.
"Because she doesn't want to talk to you. You don't understand how afraid of you she is," Edward said defending me.
"Bella, I won't hurt you," Emmett said defending himself. He was right, he may never hurt me, but part of me was waiting for him to corner me.
"You both can let your guards down, no one here is going to hurt either of you," Carlisle said.
"I'm not worried about me, I can take care of myself," Edward said quickly. Something inside me felt like it snapped, and I couldn't take it anymore.
"It's me okay?!" I said raising my voice. "I was hurt in every way you can think of by a man that looks so similar to Emmett it's not funny!" I said feeling frustrated. "God, I fucking hate it here!" I stormed out of the kitchen and headed to my room to get my shoes.
I couldn't take every one saying 'we won't hurt you', 'we're here to help you', 'you are safe here'. It really didn't matter what they said, I was scared out of my mind, and no one would ever understand what I have been through. The only person in this whole world that could understand was Edward, and as long as I had him I would be okay. I didn't need the oh-so-perfect Cullens to make me feel better. Edward and I weren't normal, and we would never fit in with the people in this house.