Guys, I'm really shocked by how many reviews I got last chapter. I told a few people that I'd have this posted by Friday, so here it is! My chapters are getting shockingly longer, especially because this one has a short little thing I wrote for the meme attached. Enjoy!
Warning: FINALLY some good old KanAre with hints of un-funny humor.
Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-man or I would have posted spoilers somewhere so that my damn fans could rejoice! *cries*
-
All was silent as the man stared at Allen, look of horror imprinted onto his face. They stared at each other for a moment, and only broke their connection when Allen realized that he was still pressed against Kanda. And his lips, too. Crap. He was screwed. Why? Because sleepy eyes were slowly cracking open, drowsiness leaving them behind as he took in how close Allen SHOULDN'T have been. It was all messed up. Way too messed up. And adding on the fact that this strange man that knew Kanda had just caught them, Allen felt he was going to explode. That was how utterly embarrassed he was. Kanda's eyes slowly slowly slowly opening and Allen suddenly had the urge to jump out the window. Maybe then he'd be spared the humiliation of kissing a MAN in his SLEEP. "Moyashi?" Kanda asked, blinking his eyes a few times. Allen frantically looked towards the man that had obviously become frozen to his spot in the kitchen, simply staring as if Allen had tried to kill the Asian while in his presence. "I..." He tried, stopping once he noticed that Kanda wasn't pulling away. Probably because he didn't know that a random old man was staring at their awkward position. OH MY GOD. He should JUST SHOOT HIMSELF to get out of the situation. The window didn't ensure death... "Hn," Kanda tried rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his free hand. "Why am I next to you?" Allen's face dropped further (if possible). How- how could he forget?! He'd been the one to-! "K-Kanda! Get off!" he yelled, girlishly pushing the man away from him and scooting to the other side of the couch. "Yuu-kun?" The old man on the other side of the room finally asked, eyebrows furrowed. He looked completely and utterly confused. Allen could only imagine why..."Augh, how the hell did you get in this time?!" Kanda demanded as he stood up and walked back into his bedroom."Who're you?" The man asked once he was alone with Allen. Awkward..."I- Kanda didn't tell you?""Tell me what? I can only assume so much by what I just saw! My little Yu-kun finally has a girlfriend! I'm so happy for him!" His eyes lit up and he seemed to be gagged as the man began spinning in circles. This was pushing it. Girlfriend?! He'd rather be called gay (which he wasn't, thank you very much!) than a girl! "I'm not a girl," he stated firmly, staring straight at the man. Sure, his face would drop and he'd run to bleach his eyes, but that was the worst that could happen, right? Damn homophobes these days..."Yuu's gay? Really? He should have told his dead father! My little boy, gay!" He laughed afterward, wiping the "tears of joy" from his eyes. Worst. Day. In. A. Long. Time."I'm not fucking gay! Why the hell do people keep saying that?!" The Asian yelled once he came back into the living room."You're not? But you were just--!""KANDA HAD A FEVER!" Allen yelled to avoid that "small" detail from being shed. Spare him All Mighty Lord! "And he just fell asleep, yeah. That's all!" He tried to telepathically send the older man his signs of distress, but he didn't seem to pick up on it."But you were kissing him."The world had ended. Allen had officially blown up from the inside out and he was going to jump out the window.
"I-! He-! It-!" He frantically glanced between them, the old man was smiling like a lunatic, cheeks slightly flushed. But Kanda, ugh, he looked like he couldn't decide whether to touch his lips like a schoolgirl that had received her first kiss, or beat the shit out of him. Either way…
Clenching his eyes shut, Allen decided the best thing to do was bow and run. And run like the fucking wind is what he did. Until the door conveniently slammed in his face, sending him tumbling onto the floor.
"You're not going anywhere, son." The older man smiled down at him, offering a hand to help him up. Some nerve he had! Slamming a door in his face and thinking he should even bother helping him up!
"Nu-uh! I have to, er, go to my job! They're expecting me!"
"I'm Tiedoll, nice to meet you," he said, completely ignoring what Allen had just made up. "I have another son, a little older than Yuu, that's just like you."
"No you fucking don't. Moyashi's nothing like Daisya," Kanda uncharacteristically corrected from his spot down the small hallway.
Tiedoll chuckled, placing some sort of container on Kanda's counter. "Pardon me, then. Judging from what I've seen so far, it's just… ha ha. My little Yuu-kun, finally growing up." Tears seemed to well up behind his eyes, and Allen really wanted to go die in a hole. Kanda was looking at him weird, it was like… almost as if… a look of hopefulness?
What the hell was going on?
"Moyashi? What an interesting name…" Tiedoll noted as he finally got around to wiping his eyes. Kanda rolled his eyes and resorted to staring at the floor.
"My- um my name's Allen. K-Kanda's just… mean." It took a lot of self-control to get even that much out of him, for his insides were currently on fire and threatening to eat him alive. He knew that all the blood in his body must have flooded to his face, and every time Kanda so much as glanced at him, it seemed that his body had made more just for the occasion and sent it to aide the rest. Oh damn it.
"Aw, a pet name! How typical of Yuu!"
"Stop calling me that!" He hissed. "Why the hell are you here?" His voice sounded weird, too. He sounded pissed, but there was something else. Disappointment? About what? Allen was seriously gonna knock the door down if that's what it was going to take to get out of there…
"I'm not allowed to come visit you? You gave me a key, that should be enough of a reason. Besides, Marie made some lovely tempura that I thought you'd like considering you only ever eat soba. But… as I can see, you now have a cute little boy to do all your cooking! How'd you stumble upon him? Hmm?" The man babbled with star crossed eyes, putting his hands together and waving them around in front of himself. Wow… he almost felt bad for Kanda. Almost.
"I'm not little!" Allen pouted, crossing his hands over his chest, deciding to surrender to his childish side, if only just this once.
"Right, right, I'm sure you're not! How old are you? Seventeen? Yuu, you should know not to pick up minors…" Kanda looked ready to strangle the man, and Allen honestly couldn't blame him. He was usually so easy to get along with, but he had become strangely irritable since he'd met the man. One could only wonder why. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that he'd just humiliated him! No, way!
"He's twenty, now leave. And don't show up. Ever." He added, gesturing towards the door.
"Alright, alright, obviously my son is so mean that he won't even let his father-"
"Adoptive."
"-visit him. That's not nice at all. Oh, but by the by, we're having a family dinner at that little Italian restaurant we all like on this weekend. So be there, alright?"
"I have a competition this weekend."
"Really? Why didn't you tell me? We could all go with you and eat dinner afterward. As a treat, considering you always win."
"No."
"But-!" The older man pressed, only to get interrupted by the irritated Kanda.
"Out. Please." Oh, shit. The word 'please' from Kanda's lips was unheard of, he must've been really eager to murder Allen. Looking at the floor, the youngest of the group continued to plot his escape. Once Tiedoll left, Kanda would have no problem killing him. Which was obviously a problem. No man could actually get away with murder these days, right?
The man sighed and pat his son on the shoulder. "Always so mean, Yuu-kun. Just remember that you'll be eating dinner with us eventually!" He chuckled and opened the front door himself, finally deciding it appropriate to leave. Now, the objective of the night was to be alive in the morning.
Kanda didn't say anything. For a minute, he simply stared at the door that had just been shut rather noisily. As his eyes shifted to glance at the floor, he turned around, successfully scaring the shit out of Allen. Oh, good--
"Kendo," He mumbled, walking back to the couch and sitting in the spot he'd been before Tiedoll had showed up, before he had rudely been awakened, and definitely before he had known that Allen had kissed him in his sleep. Whatever, he'd save himself by blaming it on Kanda. Somehow.
"K-kendo? That's the sport you were talking about?" Allen almost couldn't believe the man hadn't demanded an explanation. Or thrown him out the window just from hearing the word kissed and you in the same sentence. Was Kanda really that virginal? It actually made Allen laugh, despite the situation.
"Yeah, I've been doing it a long time," he switched the TV off and set the remotely down loudly on the overly mentioned coffee table. "I actually got a scholarship, I didn't even know our school had a kendo team." He pondered aloud, making Allen squirm on his feet. "You can sit back down, you know."
The boy in question froze, what had he just said? Oh, no! Nu-uh! He wasn't risking getting killed the second he sat down. "I- I'm quite comfortable here, thanks." Came his polite decline. This was too weird. All of it.
"Just sit the hell down." Blunt and to the point. With no room left to argue, Allen surrendered and sat on the smaller couch across from him. Kanda looked up at him, and he looked away. He looked at Kanda, and Kanda looked away. Such a childish game…
"Kanda?" Allen found himself asking, freaking out on the inside because he hadn't meant to say. It had just… happened. He would have to wash him mouth out with soap later.
"What?" The other growled, crossing his arms over his chest and playing hard-to-talk-to. Augh…
Deeming it safer to answer than start and stop, he summed up all his courage and asked. "Are- are you… mad?"
Kanda seemed to blink at the boy for a moment, not quite understanding what he'd meant. When it finally clicked, the silver eyed boy could swear he heard it.
"Hmph," was his answer, glaring at the coffee table. "I'm mad that Tiedoll showed up, not at you." That was it. Allen's eyes were going to fall out from how wide they were, and he was going to die by asphyxiation since he had long since stopped breathing. Bipolar, much?
"Why, um, exactly are you mad that he showed up?" He asked shyly, voice little above a whisper.
"Because he fucking showed up. Why the hell else?" He just had to be that way, didn't he? Did he enjoy watching people stammer over words and fidget under his gaze?
"W-well that could be… for a few reasons, then. Are- um, are you made at me?"
"Why would I be mad?" Allen knew it was his fricken imagination. The man was blushing, sure it was only the slightest of pink dusted over his pale face, but it was still there. And that was a-fucking-nuff to make Allen cower in fear and clench his eyes shut in hopes of somehow phasing through the couch, through the floor and anywhere else. Even a- never mind. That was a bad wish.
Kanda was sulking. Kanda was sulking. Like a five year old that wasn't allowed to get the box of candy they wanted. And it was strangely the most adorable thing Allen had ever seen.
"Because I kissed you!" He burst out, feeling his own cheeks explode with color. "In your sleep! You should be trying to kill me!"
Kanda shook his head and pulled himself to his feet, taking the two steps around the coffee table and towering over Allen and his smaller couch. He flopped down next to him, closer than necessary because, hey, Allen just had to pick to sit in the lovers seat instead of the recliner. Shocking, shocking, shocked that Kanda had even sat next to him with such a lack of proximity. Utterly appalled that the man leaned his head against the boy's shoulder.
He wanted to call out the Asian's name, wanted to know if he was really feeling alright, because as he's said a thousand times to himself: 'this is too weird!'. And although panicking on the inside, his body was completely still, tense under the other man. Oddly enough, Allen was still mesmerized by his scent, soapy, yet not.
"I don't think I mind that much, and you did it, so you don't either." He whispered, sucking in a breath of air as Allen tried to turn to him. Without further ado, he leaned upwards and pressed his own lips to Allen's catching the boy wayyy off-guard. He lingered for a moment before pulling away, coming back once he took in the English boy's flushed face.
There was tongue added, it started as a light brush to Allen's lower lip, a request for entrance that he gladly accepted, shifting so he could maneuver just as much as Kanda's wondering hands. When he finally managed to free a hand, he didn't know what to do with it. Leave it be, he decided, placing it back in his own lap. Kanda' s lips became more controlling, pressing him further against the arm of the couch and caressing his tongue with his own. He could taste the mint gum he liked to chew, and he found himself wanting more.
He moaned as one of the man's hands stroked his face, thumb guiding itself over his scar and the tips of his fingers gliding into his hair. Kanda got onto his knees and pressed Allen further back, pulling his hips down slightly so he could work him to a position that wasn't so awkward on the neck.
Somewhere near the awkwardly placed couple, a phone began to vibrate, and because apparently Allen was the only one to take notice, he pushed it to the darkest pits of his mind, letting its vibrations send chills up his spine.
The man above him didn't stop, crushing him in another heated kiss. With more tongue. When the vibrating turned into an annoying ring tone that could only signal one person (Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol!), he regretted not just silencing it like he usually did.
Although Kanda didn't seem to care, the silver eyed boy was slowly becoming depressed. The Asian probably wouldn't have ever cared had he not stopped moving his own lips.
"Shut that up," he growled, rolling his hips against the phone and its spot in his pocket, which, was very coincidental, indeed. Allen obeyed and reached downward, attempting to get a hand in his too-tight pants pocket. By the time he had finally extracted the phone and fumbled for the ignore button, the caller had already hung up. If Allen could kill that stupid man, he would.
Lips were tracing their way down his neck, nibbling and licking. Allen groaned and thrust his hips up just as his phone began vibrating again. He cursed his luck and pressed the ignore button again, promptly shutting the phone off and throwing it on the couch Kanda had previously been occupying.
He had a mental checklist going: The door was locked, although the chain wasn't in place. He'd taken a shower a few hours, so he couldn't smell bad. He'd taken his shift earlier that day- and so had Kanda. No work the next day, but a birthday dinner planned by Lavi sometime that week. Now that his phone was off and thrown to the side, he figured he was pretty safe in the sense of not getting caught, not matter how far they were planning on taking their little excursion.
"Kanda," he whispered in hopes of the other picking up on how uncomfortable his neck still was. Being Kanda, he didn't, and moved his face back to the Moyashi's to shut him up. He whimpered as more force was added to the kiss, forcing his back to arch and his neck to bend further in opposite direction. Kanda finally picked up on it when the boy flinched,, placing his knees on either side of the thin thighs and tugging his hips again until he was sitting on his hips. He bent down and licked Allen's jaw, fingers finally moving to lift the hem of his shirt. He moaned as fingers tickled his naval, sending another round of chills up his spine.
His face lit on fire as the shirt was pulled over his head and thrown over the small table. Kanda inched downward, hot breath ghosting over Allen's chest. He bit his shoulder and kept his pace, letting his tongue prod the younger boy's nipple.
"W-what're you-?"
An alarm went off. A fire alarm, but Kanda didn't seem to care. His mouth connected with the light pink bud, the younger boy instantly shivering and arching into the other's touch.
"Kanda!" He rasped as a large hand cupped the back of his thigh, lifting it so that his leg was wrapped around Kanda's hip. He could feel the Asian's arousal against his backside now, and oh… that felt good.
"Kanda! Allen! We need to evacuate!" Fire truck sirens could be heard as someone knocked loudly on the door. "There's a fire a few floors down, come on!" Footsteps retreated down the hall, but Kanda's lips didn't pause.
"Kanda," he breathed, pressing lightly against the man's chest in protest. "We need to get out of here."
"Fuck," he panted against his naval. "Moyashi, we're not going anywhere. That retarded girl downstairs has set her apartment on fire before, like hell I'm leaving for her again."
"But, Kanda… it could be serious."
The man finally pulled back, frown imprinted on his perfect face. "You could've just said you didn't want this instead of having me rape you," He said as he pulled himself off of Allen and across the room before he could reply. Before his hand closed around the doorknob, Allen tugged on his sleeve, completely forgetting that he as still shirtless.
"I-I didn't say I didn't want it, it's just the building's on fire, I kind of think it more important to get out then… er, have sex." He sheepishly answered in a whisper.
"Who the fuck said we were gonna have sex?" Kanda asked, jokingly pulling his sleeve out of the boy's grip. "Go put your shirt back down and we'll go down." Nodding, Allen obeyed.
-
"Lavi, I really don't see why you're here. You're supposed to be at your grandfather's house, and Lenalee," Allen bit his lip as he turned to the girl. She was dressed… unusual for herself. She never wore skirts that short and her shirts were never that low cut. "You're supposed to be having dinner with your brother. We were supposed to have this on Monday! Not my birthday!" He whined, slouching over the table.
"I already ate with him, Allen. He told me to go and have fun." Lenalee piped up, patting her friends back.
"Yeah, Bookman doesn't like holidays anyway. We don't even have a tree."
"Neither do we," Kanda mumbled as he flipped through the drink menu.
"Well why would ya, Yuu-chan? You're Yuu-chan, King of the Grumpy!" He winked at the man and continued. "It's a shame Miranda couldn't be here, though."
"You're still going out with her? Don't you get over people in like, a day? And she doesn't really seem that interested in you, she sees you as a brother, you know." Allen sighed, cheek against the table.
"That's kinda the reason we're on off. I dunno, I think we're takin a break for a while anyway. Well," his face let up as he eyed Allen. "You're twenty-one now! Yay!"
"Yeah, happy birthday, Allen!" Lenalee handed him a card and smiled at him.
"Lenalee, you didn't have to. We're friends, I don't need anything from you, especially if you're already throwing me a-!"
"THIS KID JUST TURNED TWENTY-ONE, woo-hoo! Anyone up for buying him a drink?!" Lavi yelled to the population of the bar, completely humiliating Allen.
"Usagi, shut the hell up." Kanda said from his corner of the booth, leaning against the wall.
"Aw, Yuu just wants to buy the Moyashi a drink himself. No fair!" Lavi smirked at the older man and winked at the waitress that was brining them a drink.
"From the table over there," she pointed to the dark-skinned man in the corner who gave a dry smile and turned back around. Not without winking first, of course.
"Thanks…" Allen mumbled, sitting up and frowning at the martini glass.
When the waitress finally left, Lavi laughed. "Talk about pedophiles, ya see the way he looked at us? Dude, he's hot for a guy, but I'd never tap that," Lavi went on, drawing a chuckle out of Lenalee. "Anyway, what kind of drinks should we get?"
"I want a Long Island Iced tea! I haven't had one in forever!" The only girl of the group stated excitedly, throwing her menu in the middle of the table.
"Well, I'll have a beer I guess, although you're gonna be drivin with me," he grinned at the girl and called the waitress over.
"Yuu, you're such a spoil sport, you can't even drink at your own Moyashi's birthday! Shame on you!" Lavi joked as he picked up the bottle the waitress had just set down.
"I have a fucking kendo competition tomorrow, asshole." He growled, fingering the moisture on the glass of water he'd ordered.
"You're still doing that? Well, whatever. As long as it pays the bills." They all nodded and Lavi raised his bottle. "To Allen! Cheers!"
-
"Kanda," the boy mumbled as he stumbled over his own feet. "Are we goin home?"
"Yeah, Moyashi. Just don't fall."
"Can I hold onta you? I'm gonna fall… I'm dizzy…" He continued to babble as he grabbed for Kanda's arm and nuzzled his cheek against his sweater.
"Why the hell did you let the Usagi buy you so many drinks?" He asked, fishing around in his jacket pocket for the keys to his car. "Get it," he ordered once the doors were unlocked and he was standing by the passenger's side door with Allen on his arm.
"Nooo!" He whined, clinging to Kanda. "I dun wanna! I wanna stay with you, Yuu!" He yelled a little to enthusiastically as he lost his balance and almost fell again, only saved when Kanda's arm wrapped around his waist.
"Easy, Moyashi. We're just going home, so get in the car."
"Bu why aren' Lena and Lavi with us? Where'd they gooo?" He slurred, trying to open the car door with his glazed over eyes. Kanda, being the suddenly nice person he was, decided to cut the Sprout some luck and opened it for him, eyes scanning over his form as he climbed in. Once he'd closed the door to walk around to his side, he could hear the kid wailing like he wasn't coming back. Pcsh. Stupid midget.
"Calm down, Moyashi." He said in a slightly irritated, slightly amused voice once he opened his door and sat down. He checked to see that the Moyashi had indeed been capable enough to put his own seatbelt and turned the key so the heat would come on.
"Kanda! Put your seatbelt on! Ya dun wanna get by a deer!" He yelled, reaching around Kanda through the pull of his own seatbelt to attempt a retrieval of his won safety belt.
"Calm down, Moyashi. I'll put it on. And deer don't hit people, idiots hit deer. And I'm not fucking idiot."
"But Kanda! They come outta nowhere!" He gasped, staring into Kanda's eyes with his own dilated ones. The older man sighed and switched the car into reverse to pull out of his spot. This was going to be a long ride home.
"Mm, Kanda. Thanks fer takin me out. I shoulda jus' listened to you in tha first place," He mumbled, cheek pressed against the cold window.
"Moyashi, don't lean that way, you could break your neck if I slam on the breaks."
"I thought you weren't an idiot." He replied, pulling away and fucking pouting. Kanda thought he was going to lose it. The kid just had to be a cute drunk.
"I'm not, other people are and sadly, I can't make up for their damn mistakes. Just sit still, we only live a few blocks away" He countered and used his let hand to pat Allen's shoulder.
"'m cold," he whispered, leaning toward the touch of the older man. His cheek ended up pressed against his shoulder and Kanda was surprised he hadn't just crashed his car, they both knew what had almost happened the last time someone had fell asleep on the other, and frankly, it had never been made up to Kanda. He'd been left hard for an hour and a half as they stood outside, cursing (Kanda of course) under his breath about how stupid Lavi's girlfriends had to be. Ruining fucking things for him like that, it wasn't fucking fair. Not that he would ever convey it out loud.
He sighed as the Moyashi's breath evened out, obviously asleep. He couldn't have just waited an extra minute? He didn't want to wake the boy up, because Heaven forbid him thinking so, the kid was cute when he slept. Accompanied by the fact that he was drunk, he was adorable. Augh, fucking rabbit was rubbing off on him.
-
Once he'd set Allen down on his air mattress, Kanda decided to take another shower. It was cold in the apartment sometimes, and he usually couldn't sleep if he was cold. Showers always made the cold go away.
The warm water felt fantastic on his skin, he would admit. It wasn't that he spoiled himself with shower time, he just liked the feel of scolding hot water. Five minutes past by and he turned the water off. When he turned around to pull the shower curtain out of the way, the last thing he'd been expecting was to have Allen sitting on the toilet, face flushed from the alcohol and heat in the room, staring up at his naked for with the expression of utmost innocence. It made him second guess his choice of reaching for his towel. Maybe they could pick up where they left off…? No, he was drunk.
"Kanda, I was cold. Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, I just heard the water and knew ya took really really hot showers and came in. Sorry," He kept mumbling, hiding his flushed face in his hands. Kanda hadn't minded one bit, in fact, he liked the idea that the Moyashi had come into his bathroom. Especially the part where he was naked and in a fucking skimpy as shit towel that was precariously wrapped around his thin waist.
The boy finally decided to sneak a peak at him, and Kanda definitely noticed the wondering eyes gazing and appreciating every curve of his lightly muscled body. Of course he didn't mind, it was just he wanted the same privilege. He wanted to see the boy with that flushed, as naked as he was at the moment, if not fully nude. The thought brought a slight smirk to his face as he re-checked the tie on his waist, if only to ensure the towel wouldn't fall off.
"Like what you see, Moyashi?" He hadn't expected the other's cheeks to get any redder, and that proved to be the right assumption because they didn't. Instead, he switched his gaze from wander to Kanda's face.
"Of course I do," he whispered, voice sounding more sober than only a moment ago. Was steam supposed to help get rid of the drunk feeling? He'd have to look it up later. Silver eyes shifted again, this time sneaking a glance at the towel, scowling at it because it had ruined a perfectly good picture.
"Such a pervert, Moyashi."
"Maybe I am," he countered, getting to his feet with the help of the counter. He stood in front of Kanda, as if challenging him, and pressed his cheek to the man's chest, breathing in his scent even though it was weighed down by the moisture clouding the room. "Do you wanna pick up where we left off?" He whispered dangerously low, licking up a droplet of water from the Asian's chest.
"Moyashi, you're drunk, so no."
"Nu-uh," he shook his head like a little kid, "I sobered up, and it's supposed to hurt anyway, so it'll make things better." That little fact was what hooked Kanda. He stared down into Allen's eyes for assurance. The drunk one nodded and wrapped an arm around him, still using the other for balance against the counter. Kanda nodded and used a hand to pull the boy's chin up for a kiss.
-
11-24-09, I'm done with this chapter today! But I'm adding the omake, so it'll be posted in a bit. Sorry, it hurts to have it typed and not post it for you guys. Short omake is about Lavi and Klondike bar. It has absolutely no involvement with the real story, it's just for the crack. It sort of fit's the plot line, but that's about it.
-
What would Yuu do for a Klondike Bar?
-
Lavi had to admit: he had a habit of wasting his time. And the additional tendency to fall for internet surveys certainly didn't help him any. And eventually, somewhere along the way, he'd began wasting other people's time. Namely, Yu Kanda.
"Yu~" Lavi sang, walking up to his victim with a hand behind his back. He'd spent a bit of money on this particular survey, but so far it had definitely been worth it. Lenalee had given him such a nice massage… And Allen had gone as far as to get rid of the "problem" it had left behind. Interpret it as you will.
But Yu-chan, hm. It was always fun to mess with him and the few times he'd bothered to answer, the answers had been nothing but amusing. Yu and his thought process, ha-ha!
Kanda turned around with a snap. The noise obviously being his overly obnoxious neck.
"What do you want, Usagi?" He asked, seemingly uninterested, yet suspicious.
"Yu~" He repeated, sliding his feet across the floor until he was next to the slightly older man. True, he had reason to be suspicious, but Lavi could still be sly about it. After all, the last time he'd involved Yu in a survey had been his self proclaimed "last". It wasn't his fault the shampoo had bleached his hair.
"Hair's lookin' nice," He complimented, taking one of the ends in between his fingers. It was still pretty dry. He'd previously thought Kanda to be one to care for his hair, but considering its current condition, he was beginning to second guess himself.
"Who the hell's fault would that be?" The Asian snapped, pulling himself away from Lavi's invasive fingers.
"Ne, but you should just bleach the rest of your hair. It's look a lot better, ya know." Maybe the words would somehow offend him, maybe they—
"Do I look like a woman to you?"
--wouldn't. Yeah, obviously they did. Just like everything else in the world.
"Well, obviously not, Yu. It's just… maybe you should just get it cut, then. Ya have split ends, so…"
"Usagi, what do you want?"
"Oh, right… Yu-chan," he put on his serious face. "I have something to ask."
"No, don't even think I'm getting involved in your stupid problems again."
"But Yu!" he whined, "It's not my fault! The mouse just moved on its own! The ad drew it in!" Lavi countered, desperate to get the man involved. After all, it still wasn't his fault. He'd been googling something pointless and it had come to the top of the screen like an angel, begging to be clicked. He'd actually laughed when he'd read it, thinking about who would do what.
"What the hell did you do this time?" Kanda asked once there was a reasonable amount of space between the two. There was no way in hell he'd get sucked into Lavi's fucked up antics and curiosities. He was such a—
"WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?!" He yelled, running up and wrapping his arms around the man's neck. "Yu, would ya do?"
"Usagi, get off of me. Now." He growled through gritted teeth, placing his hands on Lavi's biceps in preparation of throwing him off.
"But Yu, ya didn't answer my question!" The redhead protested with a pout, sticking out his lip and all.
"I shouldn't have to," was his plain reply. Sure, he'd known Yu for a long time (too long in Kanda's opinion), so that gave him all the more reason to annoy him until he answered.
"But Yu~! Moyashi-chan and Lenalee answered!"
"All the more reason."
"But-!"
"I don't ever want to be involved in your stupid surveys. EVER."
And because Lavi knows how to push buttons (Kanda's mostly), he'd brought an arsenal of blackmail.
"Really, now?" Lavi asked, familiar grin in place. "Because I conveniently have this picture of you that you might want to see."
Kanda's face transformed into his ferociously angry one, eyes set to kill. "What the hell, Usagi?"
"Oh, it's just something I found when I was over your house. Remember the time you left me all to my lonesome, aimlessly wondering through your huge house that I conveniently memorized the blue prints for. Well," he emphasized, "Tiedoll found me and took me to have tea in one of the rooms, and--!"
"Shut the hell up and get to the point!" Kanda snapped.
"Er, fine. He showed me pictures of you when ya still live with him!" Lavi watched, amused, as Kanda's face fell, angry frown disappearing with it. "You were so cute in those pictures! Especially when-!"
"Usagi!" He hissed, sneaking a glance at Allen who was sitting in the living room watching infomercials.
"Aw, is Yuu-chan shy? It's only because of Moyashi-chan, isn't it?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Shut the hell up!"
"Wanna know what he did? Huh, do ya?" Kanda didn't answer. "Well, ya see, Lenalee tried to give me a massage, but popped my shoulder out…" He rolled his arm out for further explanation. "And Allen-chan was nice enough to pop it back in. Ha-ha," he laughed, punching Kanda lightly in the shoulder with his previously injured arm. Not that Kanda cared. "I need to find out what five people would do for a Klondike bar, and you'll be four, Yu-chan!"
"No." Was his blunt reply, turning the other way and walking into his living room. Pouting, Lavi followed, Klondike bars in tow.
"Moyashi-chan!" Lavi exclaimed once he'd followed Yuu far enough to see him sit down. "If you can get Yuu to tell ya what he'd do for a Klondike bar, I'll give ya another one!" He flashed a smile and the boy sitting next to Kanda frowned and shrank down into is corner of the couch. "B-but you were so willing before!" He whined, showing the box to the pair sitting across from him.
"Lavi?" Allen asked.
Said redhead perked up as his name was called. Angels sang! For he was going to get his answer! "Yes my dear, Moyashi-chan?"
"Could you move? You're in the way of the TV." Just as fast as it had lit up, his face fell.
"Aw," he whined, drawing it out painfully. "Allen! Help meee!"
"I can't, the Bump Its ad is on."
"What the hell's up with you and infomercials?" Kanda asked, turning to face the boy that had just rolled his eyes. He scoffed something that made Allen blink and flush, and turned back to Lavi.
"Why the hell are you still here?" He asked, crossing his arms and legs simultaneously. Just because he's cool like that.
"Yu, ya can't expect me to leave without an answer! You should know that by now!"
"Do you really think I care?"
Giving an exasperated sigh, Lavi pulled a half-melted Klondike bar from out of the small box. "Moyashi-chan…" He called, approaching the boy who had just flinched. He popped the bag, releasing the small amount of air so that it would waft towards the always hungry boy. "Would you help me find out what Yuu would do for a Klondike bar, for a Klondike Bar?" Kanda rolled his eyes and switched his glare to the girl with a tumor underneath her hair that was strutting her ugly stuff on the TV, taking up its precious space.
Allen's eyes widened, and even the stupidest person that had ever walked the earth could tell what he wanted.
"Allen, I just remembered: you don't even like chocolate." The boy frowned and looked at Kanda's coffee table.
"Well, I trust you to not drug me, Lavi. And besides, it's ice cream."
Sighing again and ignoring the boy's words, Lavi turned back to Kanda. "Yu, just tell me and I'll leave."
"You fucking know what, Usagi? I'm just going to fucking tell you. I would rip you dick off and shove it up your ass! Now get out of my house!"
All was silent.
"It's an apartment, Yu."
End.
EDIT: I ended up posting this anyway. Wow my editor *coughnotebookcough* will be mad.