A/N Hello! Hello! AND WELCOME BACK TO "Wandering Spirit" Now last time Derin had an epic (I hope) Battle with his older brother Cole, This chapter is going to expand a bit on Derin and Cole's history. Oh and btw I probably won't have any of the "Main" Characters in this story more than I absolutely necessary, cause i don't know how to potray them to the degree they deserve. Finally I am going to be doing a new story, with This Derin as the main character, again, and he will be a gamer, in a different Universe however I can't decide which universe to do so in please help ;-;. SO without further ado
"Watch this, Rip apart my family. Fuck That! I'd rather die with honor"- Falling In reverse Chemical Prisoner
Day 53
I let out a groan as I sat on the floor leaning against a rock, my left arm was completely wrapped in bandages all the way up to my elbow, and I had a sling to keep me from moving my arm too much. I lifted my right arm to my mouth and took a swig of the drink in my hand. A sense of numbness overcame my body as I dipped down to the floor a little bit. Chief Ruto was going to assemple a small task force to go and take out the army that me and my squad had seen... The Chief took one look at me before he shook his head and said I could stay, it's odd but not unwelcome.
"Comfortable?" A voice asked and I raised my head lightly to see Talisa leaning around the side of the rock, she gave me a tiny smile as she settled in next to me.
"As comfortable as I can be." I snipped taking another swig, shuddering lightly at the feeling of the drink going down my throat. It was like alcohol in the sense that it would numb the burning sensation in my hand however this was not able to get me drunk, but I could get a little tipsy if I drank too much.
Talisa pat my good shoulder as she got comfortable, I upped and leaned against her, she raised an eyebrow at this, "Someone's getting a bit comfortable." I however groaned
"Leave me alone I've had a rough day" I closed my eyes enjoying the warmth that the troll gave off, Talisa gave a small sigh at this before reaching up and rubbing my head
"You want to talk about it?" She asked however I shook my head. "Well then I shall talk about it without you." I chuckled a bit "… Why did you do it?"
I lifted my head and stared at her "What do you mean?"
"Well..." She bit her lip, in an attempt to find a way to word her question, "What has Ironwood done that would make you willing to kill you brother?" She had a pained look on her face as she asked this, I however laughed sadly
"There are a lot of reasons why I did that, Ironwood is only about twenty percent of the reason"
"… What's the rest of the reason?"
… I paused for a second, "If you want me to talk about this," I took a long swig downing around half of it in one go, "Then I need a drink that's a bit stronger than this, but...Suppose this will have to do" Shaking my head I turned to Talisa
"Alright so why I fought and killed my brother" I burped "Well you see, like I told you earlier, I've fought in seven wars." Man this stuff was stronger then I remembered I could already feel the want to sleep creeping in,
"Well this was around the third war we fought in that the soldiers finally introduced us to Morning Dew"
"Morning Dew?" Talisa echoed and I nodded
"A drug, a very safe drug" I set the rest of the bottle next to me, "It's actually the safest drug really, all it does it make you want to eat and sleep, some people freak out but that's rare" I closed my eyes lightly as I remebered that time all those years ago.
"Well me and Cole decided 'what the fuck why not' and we started doing it, I only dabbled with it, but Cole, Cole got it bad." I let out a sigh "Soon the morning due wasn't enough, and he started dancing with Reaper dust"
"Man who named these drugs? Chief Ruto?" Talisa joked about our Chief's naming sense. I let out a bark of laughter at this
"Ah I wouldn't be surprised" however my grin disappeared "Well as you could probably guess Reaper's dust isn't nearly as safe, soon Cole was completely addicted to it, fucking hell I'm pretty sure after the fourth war we were only fighting in wars cause Cole could demand the king to give him Dust"
I repositioned myself so that I was basically lying on Talisa "Soon Cole was completely spun out, when he didn't have Dust he would sleep for most of the day, and when he did it he was awake for weeks." I took another tiny drink, chances are I would be out in like an hour.
"But after he found Nicole... He changed, he started wanting to be better, and he tried his hardest to kick Dust... And for a while it worked, he was off Dust and he was off to be married... Like something out of one of those fucking stories you hear about when you were a kid."
"I'm guessing Nicole dying set him back?" Talisa asked and I nodded my head,
"Yep seems like the whenever there's hope life has to crush it real quick..."
Talisa nodded her head at me, however she seemed to be a bit confused
"How come this was never brought up before?" She asked me lightly "I mean all the times you talked about Cole, you never even alluded him to using Drugs." At this I nodded my head
"Yeah I... I don't like to think about it, it's one of those things that I forced myself to forget" ..."
"That doesn't seem to be a very smart thing to do"
"Cause it probably wasn't"
"...You never answered why you went through with it though."
I hummed, starring at the forest in front of me,"At first I did want to go to his side..." I straightened myself out and stood up and took a couple steps forward "I wanted to betray you guys and walk over to his side" I took another drink from my bottle...
"What stopped you?"
"…" I opened my mouth for a second before closing it, biting my lip I tried my best to find the proper way to word this, "I didn't because... Well, that wasn't Cole... Phantom dust it... It changes you, I knew he was back on the stuff, I fucking knew it, but I didn't want to face it, I thought 'he can get over it himself, he doesn't need me..." I felt some tears at the corner of my vision, I could feel my hands shake a bit "And then I left..." Throwing the bottle I felt anger surge through my being
"I fucking left, my brother needed me more than ever and I fucking left, I left him to his demons, to his monsters, I left him to shoulder everything alone and you know what!" I whirled to Talisa emotions out of control, "I'm not even fucking surprised, that's all I have ever done, walk away from problems, whenever shit gets complicated at all I walk away saying 'they'll be fine' or 'they don't need me' that's all I've ever done, and now my brother's dead because of me!" My breathing was out of control at this point
"Why" Talisa started, "was there no way to convince him to our side?" It felt as if cold water had been dumped on me...
"Maybe" I let out a deep breath "maybe there was a way but... I can't see it, I knew he was on Dust when I left, but It was never that bad, and seeing him after these months I could see it, he was on his last legs as it was..." I started rubbing my face with my hands in an attempt to get my emotions under control "He wasn't right, he... He was dying on the inside I could see that, I could fucking see it, and I didn't know what to do, I thought..." I shook my head trying to keep myself from breaking down
"I thought killing him was a mercy..."
"There was no other way?"
And like that the rage flew back through me "What was I supposed to do? We were right next to a fucking army, and what could I have done if I had taken him alive? Take him to the fucking place he was trying to destroy? Lock him in my room until he sobers up? Could he live with himself after all he did? Would he even want to live? It was the best solution!"
"Don't make excuses!" Talisa suddenly snapped standing up and jabbing my chest with her finger "You know as well as I do, death doesn't make life any better, so tell me Derin Why did you do it!" My jaw clenched at what she said
"It was the best solution."
"Why"
"Cause he was already dying inside"
"Why"
"Cause of the drugs."
"Why."
"I DON'T KNOW OKAY, Is that what you want to hear, I didn't know what to do, I told you this! It was the only solution I could see!"
"Does that mean it was the only solution?"
I took in a deep breath "I don't know, maybe... Maybe not, maybe I could have saved him, maybe I could have convinced him that it was alright, maybe I could have saved him, but it's not like I had the fucking time, we were next to the army, and we had to tell chief Ruto about it, and wasting time trying to convince my brother that monsters are alright would have taken too long, the army might have found chief Ruto and the rest. AH GODDAMNIT" I punched a tree next to me hard enough to break the skin on my knuckles blood flowed down my shaking fingers...
"Derin..." Talisa started much calmer than before "I can't fault you for this, but I want you to really think about it, why did you kill Cole, not any bullshit either, you need to look into yourself and see it... The answer may be more much different than what you thought It would be..."
I just shook my head at her...
"Derin."
"… Okay I get it." Why did I kill Cole? Cause it was the best solution? I think that's the reason at least, a mercy killing, cause Cole was already dead, and what was moving his body was just well it was just the Demons that he was forced to face every night... Maybe I could have helped him once upon a time, before all this... But... I didn't... Tears came to the corners of my eyes once again... I walked away...
I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding in, this was my fault, I could have helped Cole, but I instead left him to dry, Cole even tried to make me stay, maybe that was a plea of help and I was too stupid to see it, or maybe Cole knew that he would lose himself if I wasn't there... It was my fault, Suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrap around me before pulling me into the person.
"I'm sorry, maybe if I had more experience with consoling people I would know what to tell you to make it all better, but... I don't... I really don't so just for right now, I'll lend you my shoulder." So many emotions went through my body at this moment, I killed my brother, and it's because of my own in-actions...
I really was Scum...
But what other solution did I have? Could I have him out of it? Could I have fought non-lethal and knocked him out? But... He came at me with the intent to kill me, digging my head deeper into Talisa's shoulder I felt the tears fall out of my eyes as my shoulders shook
What could I have done? Creator are you there? Can you feel my sorrow? What could I have done.
Does anyone know?
Can somebody tell me?
A/N AND THAT'S A WRAP, yeah a bit of a shorter chapter today but that's cause this is more to explain Derin's reason's for everything, and the thing is, he doesn't know, he didn't know how to save Cole.
Let me explain, Derin is not a perfect person, he has many faults, and the situation he was in was honestly insane, he didn't know what to do, so he went with the solution he thought was the best. While you may not agree with it, that's how Derin is... I'm sorry if this feels like a hmm Half assed answer but honestly that was always how I planned this to be, because of Derin's own choices he caused this situation, due to his own inaction he turned Cole into what he became, and the only way out for Cole was to end it for him, was this the best solution? Probably not, was it the only solution? Definitely not, but It's what Derin thought was best. I'm sorry if you don't like it, or don't agree, but... That's how Derin is TTFN ta ta for now
P.S if you thought Talisa was acting a bit weird, SHE WAS, there's a reason for this so watch out for that female troll in the future he he he he.
Character Stats By the end of day 52
Derin Saxes
[The Wanderer][The Bastard Son][Kinslayer]
LvL 90
No Home King
Race:Human
Blessing: Mark of Wandering Spirits
Class: Ranger
Class: Alchemist
HP: 129(+220)(15.7 Hp per Hour Regen)
Mana: 90(10 per minute Regen)
STR: 63
DEX:315
AGI:197
END:98
INT: 220
WIS: 83
CHA:187
Unused points: N/A
Fame(prestige): 140
Infamy: 30
Traits
-
Wanderlust, Lustful, Suave, Simple, spiteful, King of beggars, gold tongued Serpent, Lonely, Kind, Regretful, Depressed, Kinslayer.
Racial Traits
-
Human Perseverance(LvL Max)
Adaptability(LvL Max)
Disease Resist(LvL Max)
_
Class Skills:
Plant identification (LvL 15)
Stealth (LvL 20)
Potion Creation (LvL 13)
Poison Creation (LvL 8)
Foraging(LvL 19)
Camping(LvL 14)
Hunting(LvL 7)
Cooking (LvL 18)
Trap Making(LvL 10)
Sword Mastery(LvL 6)
Bow Mastery (LvL 5)
_
Basic Skills:
Dodge(LvL 10)
Block(LvL 5)
Pain resistance(LvL 17)
True Grit(LvL Max)
_
Unique Skills
Combat Mode(LvL 2)
…...
*Kin-Slayer Trait- sweet fratricide, you have killed someone who shares your blood? (And not a cousin either) From this you suffer –10% relations with anyone who puts family first and a starting +5% relation with anyone else who was the Kin-Slayer Trait.
Phantom Dust- A highly addictive and Highly illegal drug. Consumption of the drug can lead to- Paranoia, Hallucinations, Insomnia, Extreme weight loss, addiction. Users who become addicted to Phantom Dust have been noted to become extremely dependent on the drug, and are usually willing to go to any lengths in order to acquire it, even should they go directly against the person's morals.