Here it is! Ch.5 from our beloved russian! Let me know what you guys think! I liked writing from his POV and hope I conveyed the message I want!

I sat hunched against the harsh winds that carried the tuna ship through the sea. I knew my face was pinched in a hard mask. The fishermen avoided contact with me at all costs, only stopping to ask if I needed anything every so often. I knew I should thank them more than the gruff one I muttered upon them finding me, I just couldn't find the emotion to. My body was rigid as we sailed under the black sky. It was waiting for something bad to happen. Because it always seemed to.

I was faintly aware that the sky was becoming brighter around us. A middle aged man approached me. "Where are you headed son?" I blanched before swinging my hardened gaze up to meet his soft one. "Portland." He nodded, and with a second glance back, walked off. I watched as the coast line approached again and I noted the bright lights of civilization that spotted up and down the shore. At some time early in the morning the boat docked and I strode warily off the ship, glancing around.

I approached the first person I saw, to ask for a phone, but upon taking in my appearance, they called 911. I sighed. I just wanted to go home. Home. The word echoed through my mind. What would it be like? I wondered idly. As I sat with the man who had called me an ambulance, I watched one of the t.v.'s through the window of a bar. Why was it so busy at this time of morning? I had to remind myself that people still partied. I snorted. What surprised me was what was on the t.v. It seemed to be coverage of some event that had been a few weeks ago, raising money for some scholarship. That's when I saw her. In a long black and red gown. She was shown walking through the door and people immediately flocked to her. I felt my lips twitch for the first time in four years, as the ice that encased my body and soul seemed to crack.

I was brought from my thoughts as sirens filled the air. Great. The ride to Portland General was a tense one. The paramedics looking me over from head to toe. I sighed. Once at the hospital, it wasn't any different. Dr. Olendzki was nice enough and understood when I told her to limit her touching. She was kind enough to get someone in to cut my hair and beard. The island hadn't had nice things like that.

"Sir," She started before I cut her off. "Dimitri. Dimitri Belikov." She nodded, her kind eyes smiling at me. "Dimitri, the injuries sustained to your body make it a miracle that I'm even having this conversation with you." I simply nodded, not willing to go there with the good doctor. She continued, understanding I wasn't sharing. "The amount of scar tissue on your joints and bones alone look to be that of a middle aged, hard working man. The trauma seen in your groin area is so great that adoption will be the only future for children. Then, to take in the amount of raised scar tissue covering your skin, I'm deeming you a miracle." Her eyes held pity and I almost snorted. I didn't know if my father was alive, or if the rest of my family would even accept the person I was now. I was sure Roza would think I was hideous, so children weren't an issue. She continued on for some time, but I tuned out. She broke back into my thoughts when she asked if there was anyone she could call. I froze momentarily.

"Rose Mazur." Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded before leaving me alone. It was night again and I made my way to the full length window looking over Portland. I had no idea how long I stood there, thinking. What would she say? Belikov, don't be stupid. You couldn't keep her father from getting killed and you broke your promise to her. You left her alone. I was sure she wanted nothing to do with me. Plus, her and Adrian were probably married anyway. The bitter thought struck through my mind and for the first time in a long time, I felt jealous.

I heard the door click shut and stiffened, before turning. I wasn't met with Roza's gaze, it was my parents. Shock resounded in my core and I made my way to them. Momma's tears spilt over, and against my body's desires, I reached out and hugged her, then my father. She handed me a bag of my things and I went to the bathroom to change from the scrubs I had been given. We sat together for a few minutes before the door clicked again.

This time a familiar scent of rose and vanilla assaulted my senses. I looked up from my spot on the bed and met her gaze. It was like global warming inside my body. Like all of the ice melted all at once. "Are you ready to go home?" I could tell she was working hard to sound normal and to anyone else she would have. But I could see how nervous and excited she was. I smiled. An actual smile and it felt foreign on my face. I moved towards her, grabbing her shoulders. Trying to look normal and hide the panic that shot through my chest. I looked her over, assessing the changes, drinking her in. She was leaner than she had been. Not skinnier, but she had much more muscle. She no longer looked like the young party girl, but now a sophisticated businesswoman. I planted a tender kiss on her forehead and she melted in my hands immediately. I smiled slightly, glad some things didn't change. She held her hand out and I gladly laced my fingers through hers, surprised that my body hummed at the touch and didn't recoil.

My father had suggested dinner and as we pulled up to the lavish restaurant I almost couldn't believe my eyes. It seemed just like old times. Almost. Except in the place of the eccentric Abe Mazur stood a beautiful, younger version of him. My father escorted her through the throng of people, like a body guard was trained to do. Roza waved at a few and smiled at others. She had perfected this life and the thought made me proud.

We were seated and my father soon started conversation about what all I had missed. He made sure to cover everything about the sabotages. My brow creased and my eyes shot to Roza when he mentioned the plane crash. She made sure to make herself look busy. My heart sunk, knowing she was completely alone. All this time I had thought she had moved on without me.

When we arrived at the estate, my jaw almost dropped again. I forgot what this place really looked like. Memories did my home no justice. I stepped from the car and was immediately pounced on by my sisters, all of whom had tears streaming down their cheeks. I tried as subtly as possible to disentangle myself and only embrace them slightly without making it noticeable. We talked and chatted in the main den for hours. My mind was occupied with where Roza was. I had noticed her gone the moment she had left my family to reunite.

Finally I walked to our wing and saw the crackling of the fire in our den. I walked to the doorway and stopped, leaning against it. I sat watching her as she turned to look at me. Her faced told me that she had absolutely no idea what to say now. I almost chuckled at her. Then, I saw her distress seeping to the surface and made my way to her, kneeling between her knees, taking her face in my hands. She gazed deep into my eyes before tears started spilling over, each one breaking my heart.

"Hey, what's all this for?" She shook her head hysterically before sobs erupted from her, bringing words out with them. "I'm so so sorry Dimitri. I should have never let you leave. I should have told my father not to go. I'm so sorry. Don't hate me please. I can't lose you again." I shook my head, pulling her closer and tucking her head into my neck. I couldn't believe that this woman was trying to persuade me not to hate her, when in reality it should have been the other way around. I tried not to stiffen, but I could feel the tension radiating off of me. "None of this was your fault Roza. Don't you ever think that you hear me? You're the only reason I survived Roza, you're all that kept me going." I had to make her understand, but she kept apologizing. I couldn't help the chuckle that left my lips. "You always were stubborn. How many times do I have to tell you? You have nothing to be sorry for Roza." She sniffled, still not pacified. "But you were stiff, I know when I'm not welcome Dimitri." Damn it. I started to pace, only to intensify her sobs.

My hands snaked into my hair, pulling it slightly. I knelt down again. Now she thinks I don't want anything to do with her. I had to make her understand. "Shh, that's not it Roza…" I trailed off, trying to explain. "Roza, I can't really explain it." I grabbed her chin so I could look into her eyes. That was the only way I could tell what she was thinking. Pain shot through my chest at the look in them. I took a deep breath. "Roza, let me try something. But you can't touch me, okay? Do you trust me?" She nodded and my heart hammered against my ribs. My body screamed at me to run hard and fast. Instead, I pulled her to me, one arm cradling her head to my chest and the other circled around her arms, holding them down. I inhaled her scent and sighed. "I missed you so much. I was so afraid. That I could never feel you again." My voice cracked slightly.

I pulled back and assessed her face. I could see the defined circles under her eyes and frowned. "You need sleep, my Roza." And not leaving her a choice, I gathered her in my arms effortlessly. Shock lanced through me as she reflexively braced against my chest. She dropped her hands and I immediately told her to put them around my neck. I tried to keep the waver from my voice, but I knew she could hear it. I felt her play with the ends of my hair and stifled a broad smile.

I opened the door to her room with ease and sat her on her bed. I smiled down at her and kissed her on the cheek before pulling back. "Don't go." I froze at her words but nodded anyway. I slid my duster off and removed my shoes. "You're sleeping in your clothes?" I carefully nodded, knowing that if she saw the hell inflicted on my body she would run for the hills. "Well that's uncomfortable. I hope you don't expect me to do the same?" I chuckled again and shook my head. She grabbed her sleep wear and walked to the bathroom.

I waited patiently, remembering all the memories I had in this room. A picture caught my attention and I stood and made my way over to the bedside table. What ice was left in my heart from the time on that island evaporated when I realized what picture it was. She had insisted on taking it because she looked cute. I was speechless. Of all pictures to have and of all the people they could have been of, she had a picture of us sitting beside her bed. I was so shocked that it took a second to realize she was standing behind me. I turned to look at her, still in awe and she looked speechless. "Come on Comrade. This whole sleeping business was your idea." I couldn't help the broad smile that lit my face and I jumped on her, tackling her. She took no time in tangling her hands in my hair. I hmmed before kissing her cheek and sinking down beside her. I pulled her close, longing for her touch, but kept enough space to keep my body from screaming in alarm. Before I could stop myself, my eyelids drooped and I was thrown into the world of dreams.