A/N: REJOICE!!! I have never been so uplifted than I am right now. When I checked my story-traffic box this morning, I was expecting the worst. You know, a barren zero reviews? But to my VERY pleasant surprise, I was proven wrong. Very wrong indeed. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!! Special thank you to Thrawn7730, PinkPanther123, and Simply Saturn for their uplifting reviews of the last chapter, and aims5 for your review of Chapter Three. Even more gratitude for all the people who favorited and/or alerted this story!!!
I now have faith in myself once again. As promised, here is the next chapter. I no longer have any regrets writing it. ^_^ So, here ya go!
Disclaimer: You know the drill. No, not the episode. And, by the way, in case you were still in any doubt, I don't own that either.
Chapter Five: Julie on Ice--the Boy in the Iceberg
Far away from the South Pole--even from the world itself--there was a room that was almost crippled into silence by the shadows that occupied it. It wasn't an ordinary room, though. Unlike most places, this domain was a vacuum--void of any sympathetic heartbeat and even time itself. And even though there were definitely people in this room, I wouldn't necessarily call them human.
Especially the person who sat at the head of the table. I don't think he was human at all.
"So, what is it that you've come all this way to tell me?" he asked the shadowy figures seated around him. The way he spoke was like a humble host towards his guests, but at that table no one questioned his authority. They were all silent if he spoke and no one dared to make eye contact with him.
"Do we have permission to be frank, Lord Mesmer?" one of them asked in a gnarly whisper.
The man smiled, showing a fine row of teeth. "You may."
"Surely you have noticed the...disturbance...? The one that occured in the world of spirits...?"
"I'm sure you didn't waste so much astral energy just to ask me that," said Mesmer smoothly. "If you have noticed it, then I assure you that I have as well."
"This is true, but we are puzzled by your passiveness towards the matter."
There was a long silence. The man called Mesmer took the opportunity to take a long sip of his wine, which was a blood-red color. It reflected his amber eyes clearly before he set the glass down again. All this time, no one said a word.
"I feel no need to do anything at the moment," he told them finally. "The girl has done enough without me having to stir."
"I don't understand," the shadow whispered. "You intend for her to go freely into this world? To what purpose? She is not one of us."
"No," said Mesmer. "Not yet, anyway. But, I'm curious as to what she'll do. The child is...to say the least, unique. And if my suspicions are correct we won't need the Avatar after all. We'll have what we need with minimal distortions."
"Can this be possible? I mean, one of those haven't existed in thousands of years."
The man smiled. "I'd like to think so. Anyway, we shall soon see."
When Lieutenant Jee emerged from below deck his gaze immediately turned to me. I think he was worried that I'd be slacking off while he was gone. But his eyebrows rose at what he was seeing. I was scrubbing the planks with a vengeance. My new-found determination surprised him immensely.
Deep down I had taken Bo-Fen's advice to heart. Up until now I had been complaining and mouthing off to everyone I met. My situation wasn't going to improve any if I kept pissing people off. Though it pained me to do so, I would bite my pride for now and...well...do something to make things better.
Zuko had said that I was useless. Well, I was about to show him and everyone else on this ship just how wrong he was.
"What are you so happy about?" Jee asked sharply, coming to stand by my side. I saw his face vaguely reflected in the polished wood.
I didn't pause in my work. "Not happy. Just...motivated. It's a brand new day, after all."
"I see..." he muttered. "Well, at least you're being productive now. It's a good thing. No woman should be left to run around untamed."
I gritted my teeth, ignoring the latent urge to flare up and claw the man's eyes out. What was it with these people and their unpleasantness?
"That's...pretty sexist, Lieutenant Jee," I said quietly.
"Keep mopping," he said in an infuriatingly bored voice. Like my opinion meant nothing to him. But then I checked myself. Of course this man didn't care what I thought.
I bent over and resumed my work.
"All women really need is firm discipline," he continued, as though there hadn't been any interruption. "Otherwise they end up running wild, causing trouble, climing masts," he added for my benefit.
My grip tightened on the mop.
"Personally," he said, "if my daughter behaved the way you did today, she wouldn't have gotten off so easy. I would have taught her better than to behave with such frivilous passion..."
"I feel sorry for her, then."
Jee stared at me for a long moment. "You have a loose, foolish tongue, girl. Have your parents taught you nothing about respecting your elders and betters?"
"Nope," I replied shortly. "They haven't. I don't have parents."
It was true in a sense. My mother was dead, and my father...well, my father was practically dead to me. If I wasn't so adverse to being homeless I would have run away a long time ago.
I couldn't tell how the Lieutenant was digesting this bit of information. I was steadfastly refusing to look at him. I could tell from the silence, though, that he hadn't disregarded it. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was actually mulling it over.
Weird.
"That explains a lot," he said primly. "Well, get back to work, then, girl. I have things to discuss with General Iroh."
I watched him go with a feeling of unease. Somehow, something told me in the pit of my stomach that nothing good would come of this. Of course, the only time I'd ever be right was when I least wanted to be. So what happened next really shouldn't have been any surprise to me at all.
"What's this supposed to be?" I asked, eying the garment in distaste.
"Your new uniform. Lieutenant Jee's orders."
It was the most...revolting thing I had ever laid eyes on. I could only guess that it was supposed to be a servant's garment, only it was so blatantly girly that I was surprised that Shen-Long would let himself be seen holding it. I know I wouldn't, and I'm a girl.
"Tell him thanks, but no thanks."
I turned to exit stage left, but Shen-Long, expecting me to bolt, caught me by the shoulder and dragged me back. In my defense, I did not expect him to be so strong. If I had my wits about me, I could have swiftly delivered a knee to the crotch and made my hasty get-away. But alas, it was not meant to be...
"He got General Iroh's approval on this one. You're going to have to wear it."
"Like hell I do," I snapped. "It's pink! I'd sooner eat a Sea Slug than wear that monstrosity."
"Irritable and a picky-eater," he sighed. "That's not a very good combination. You know, sometimes I think Lieutenant Jee might be right about you, Julie..."
I paused and stared at him. "What does he say about me, Shen-Long?" I asked, my eyes shrinking into narrow, vicious slits.
The hardened soldier in front of me actually hesitated, eying me nervously. He just realized that he slipped up. Majorly. "Um...well, actually, I kind of overheard him talking to the General...I wasn't supposed to hear it, but..."
"What did he say, Shen-Long...?"
He winced. "This didn't come from me, but he says that the way you act...well...it would be a miracle if you ever got a man to marry you..."
I relaxed my death grip on his arm. "Oh. Is that all? God, next time you tell me that someone is trashtalking me, make sure it's serious."
"It was serious. Julie, are you planning on being a spinster your whole life?"
Let me say right now that in consideration of all the eligible bachelors on this ship alone, I wouldn't exactly be heartbroken over it. Not only were most of the people here old enough to be my father (and I'm not the kind of girl who's into that sort of thing), but the few people who actually were my age were possibly the most obnoxious people I've ever had the misfortune to meet--Zuko included.
You think I'm kidding? Not even a few hours ago I caught a couple of Chaang's henchmen using Firebending to light up their farts. Ooh! Dream date!
"I don't need a man to complete me," I snapped, snatching the pink rag out of his hands and tossing it on my hammock. I figured that after the Mast Incident, I'd have to at least wear the thing, but maybe I could dye it a different color. Maybe red...it would match my hair, and it might score me a few Patriotism Points with the Fire Navy. God knows I could use a few of those.
Shen-Long just shook his head sadly at me. "You just haven't met the right person yet. Once that day comes, you'll be singing a different tune, my dear."
I chose to ignore that.
"Could you leave? If I have to put on this...oh, God, is this thing fur-lined?"
"Only the finest walrus-beaver fur for her Majesty. This is the South Pole, after all."
I sighed. Well, at least things can't get much worse than this.
Things just got worse.
I should have known that Jee, being the opinionated jerk that he was, wouldn't simply rest with supplying me with the hand-me-down from hell as a required uniform. I should have taken that as a warning sign to grab my things and risk my luck on one of the life-boats. Hell, even a canoe would have been better than this insanity. But no. I had to prove that I wasn't a quitter. I had to stick it out to the end, to build character.
Despite my misgivings about the situation, I stupidly decided not to abandon ship. And this is what I found when I emerged on deck:
An entire squadron of Fire Navy soldiers standing at attention with...musical instruments in their hands. I kid you not. It was like staring at a marching band. I couldn't recover myself in time to run away. The moment Lieutenant Jee caught sight of my slack-jawed expression he promptly grabbed my arm in a display of faux friendliness and led me towards the men.
"Julie," he said warmly--oh, God, he was trying to be nice. "We were waiting for you."
My heart skipped a beat. "Why?" I asked nervously.
"Well...we wanted to talk to you. To...make a point..."
No. Please, no. Oh, my God, no. For the love of all that was holy in this world and mine, no. Tell me that they weren't going to do what I was thinking they were going to do. Please, please, please, no...
"You won't listen to orders or threats," said Lieutenant Jee, probably noticing that my life was flashing before my eyes. "You are disrespectful and reckless to a tee. If you were a man, I'd have had you whipped and sent to a cell by now. But then I remembered what you told me yesterday."
What had I told him??? What??? I had to know what I had uttered with this big stupid mouth of mine to put me in this situation. What could I have possibly said to him that made him think that all of this was a good idea. Was the man on drugs?
"You said you never had a firm parental upbringing. So then I decided that all you really needed was a bit of...education...Hit it, boys!" Jee barked to his men.
Oh, sweet Jesus. The soldiers all had their instruments at ready, Sumgi Horns and other things I couldn't identify all pouring out a medley of notes that sounded...eerily familiar. I tried to run away, but Lieutenant Jee held me firmly in place. Miserably, I looked back at the men again, my cheeks flaring red in embarrassment.
Was that...Zuko I saw watching from one of the port windows? Before I could properly be surprised, the men began to sing. And suddenly, I realized why the song sounded so familiar.
They were singing Disney's Mulan.
"For a long time we've, been marching off to battle," a row of soldiers bellowed. "In our thundering herd, we feel a lot like cattle. Like a pounding beat, our easy feet aren't easy to ignore..."
Shen-Long popped out of the crowd and stole the solo. "Think of instead, a girl worth fighting for!"
I blinked. "What?"
"That's what I said, a girl worth fighting for!" he sang.
Oh...my...God. What the hell was going on?
The soldiers had broken formation and were running around, doing complicated dance moves. You could tell that some of them couldn't do a step-ball-change to save their lives. One guy did a backflip, though--pretty impressive considering that they were all fully garbed in armor. Plumes of flame streamed everywhere, and it was like watching a freakishly dangerous circus. One unfortunate bystander accidentally got set on fire, but fortunately someone was standing by with a bucket of water just in case. Amazing what people will think of when they've completely lost their minds.
My arm was now practically bruised because I kept pinching myself to see if I was dreaming. I had to be. This couldn't actually be happening.
"I want her paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars," sang one scary-looking man getting down on one knee. I edged away from him, fearing that the stupidity would somehow be contagious.
"My girl will marvel at my strength," a one-eyed man followed up. "Adore my battle scars!" To demonstrate, he ripped off his chest armor and his shirt, revealing hideous flabs of grisley scarred flesh. My eyes were practically melting out of their eye-sockets and I couldn't make myself unsee it. It was horrible.
The chef came forward next, a little reluctantly, and said in a monotone, "I couldn't care less what she'll wear or what she looks like. It all depends on what she cooks like."
"Beef!"
"Pork!"
"Chicken!"
I groaned. This had to be the most retarded spectacle I had ever laid eyes on. And don't forget about the Fartbenders I told you about earlier. I have seen plenty of stupid sights, but this was just...oh, God...words couldn't even describe it.
Bo-Fen, who I just noticed was standing next to me, glared venomously at Shen-Long and made a threatening gesture before she sang in her low, gravelly voice, "Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer..."
Shen-Long was eating it up. "And I'll bet the ladies love a man in armor," he purred, glancing at Lieutenant Jee for some reason. I didn't know what to make of it.
"You can guess what we have missed the most since we went off to war!" the men sang in unison. I winced. Several of them were obviously tone-deaf on top of it all. Why did they have to pick a song with so many high notes. And how in the hell did they get a hold of this song??? The Avatar people did NOT have Mulan here. It shouldn't be. None of this should be happening.
So why was it?
"What do we want?" Shen-Long called.
"A girl worth fighting for!"
Chaang stepped up next to sing his part. I could tell he was going to milk it, the bastard.
"My girl will think I have no faults," he began smugly, "that I'm a major find."
There was a long, audible pause. The men all turned at me, and Shen-Long made a come-on gesture at me as though I were a complete moron. I folded my arms, utterly refusing to comply with a line of my own. This was so stupid, I couldn't believe they expected me to join in this farce.
I felt the point of a spear at my back. Realizing what might happen if I remained silent, I managed to utter, "How 'bout a girl who's got a brain, who...always speaks her...mind?"
Silence. Thank the Lord.
"Nah!"
Well, so much for that idea. I wondered if I could sneak away...
"My manly ways and turn of phrase are sure to thrill her!" someone got into my path and put an arm around my shoulder all buddy-like. I wanted to break his nose. I think my eye was twitching a bit, too. In a moment, I was about to snap.
"He thinks he's such a lady killer..." I muttered before I could stop myself.
Suddenly, there was a commotion from inside the cabin. I turned to look and saw General Iroh half-leading, half-dragging Zuko outside into the cold air. My mood instantly took a U-turn, watching Prince Grumpy struggling as though his uncle were trying to force-feed him arsenic. Oh, boy, what was happening now? I felt like a little kid at the zoo--at least, I'm assuming that's what it felt like since I've never been to the zoo in my entire life.
"I'm not doing this, Uncle!"
"Please, Zuko, it is only one line!"
In reply, the Fire Prince threw his head back and spewed real flames out of his mouth in pure rage. I nearly bust a gut laughing.
"I take it that's a no?"
"Come on, Zu," I yelled vindictively. "Sing for me!"
He shot me a look that embodied the most violent of intentions. Oh, sweet, sweet victory. This is what you get for laughing at poor, defenseless red-heads who are mercilessly being sung at, Prince Zuko! That's what you get!!!
I think I may have been enjoying myself too much.
"If I say it, will you all leave me alone and get back to work?" he finally asked in desperation, wringing his hands in frustration.
"Of course, your Highness," said Lieutenant Jee mechanically.
Zuko sighed. His hands were balled up into fists and were trembling angrily. I wondered if he was about to burst a blood vessel in his brain or something. Honestly, I probably did when the men first started to sing. He took a deep breath.
"I've a girl back home, who's unlike any other..." he muttered.
The men cheered. It was crazy. They acted as though they themselves just burned Bah-Sing-Se to the ground. Macho idiots, the whole lot of them. Though, I had to admit, the sight was very satisfying.
"Yeah, the only girl who'd love him is his mother," I sang innocently.
And that was all it took for them to bring it all home.
"But when we come home in victory, they'll line up at the door!"
"What do we want?" Shen-Long yelled.
"A girl worth fighting for!" everyone bellowed. I saw Zuko sulking somewhere in back, clearly wishing that this insanity would end. It was strange, but I kind of understood how he felt...just a little bit though. After I had gotten over the fact that the whole reason they were singing in the first place was because they thought I wasn't girly enough, it wasn't so bad. Not as bad as getting a corkscrew jammed in your eye-socket, anyway.
But then it occurred to me. As stiff and humorless as Zuko was, why wasn't he doing anything to break up the song? Where was that high and mighty Princey authority he was always eager to enforce on the unsuspecting crew members?
That was another mystery I had to solve.
"What do we want?"
"A girl worth fighting for!!!" came the refrain.
Shen-Long gave a bit of a twirl as he faced the crew. He held up his arms as though conducting them for one final time. "What do we want???"
"A GIRL WORTH FIGHTING..."
CRRRRRAAAAAAACK!!!!!
The crew fell silent immediately as a collective gasp rippled across the line of soldiers. The noise was so loud it sounded as though a cannon went off inside my skull. My eyes were watering from the impact, but they grew wide in awe as they caught sight of what everyone, Prince Zuko especially, was watching. A dazzling blue light about as wide as an iceberg erupted from the water almost a mile away. It shot towards the heavens in a dazzling display of photons. I felt my lungs were empty and hastily I remembered to breathe.
"Aw, shit," one of the men muttered. "Party's over."
I just nodded, feeling numb. I had no doubt in my mind what the source of that light was. Someone had just woken up from a hundred-year nap.
Zuko was at the side of the ship almost immediately, a scrying glass at his good eye. I watched him scrutinizing the line of the horizon calculatingly. Then, he smiled.
"I think," he said to Iroh, "we've found our Avatar..."
A/N: So what did you think? Was that funny enough for you? And it wasn't just filler! Aang's awakening brought everyone back into focus, and next chapter we'll actually get to meet him. More importantly, what will happen now that Zuko actually has a target to obsess over? Will he be so distracted that he will spare Julie from his authority? Or will he get so unbearable that the crew might just mutiny? Well, I'm certainly not going to tell you.
We also get a glimpse of Mesmer himself, but he is being deliberately vague. Don't think that he'll be butting out of the story as just a mildly interested observer.
I told you earlier that I'm a Disney freak, so is it really any surprise that I decided to run with Mulan? Anyway, it was a pain writing out the lyrics, and unless people really want me to I'll probably never do this again. I mean, I'm not a fan of song-fics since all they really are are just typed lyrics with very little description of what's happening, or even a plot. It's just a character singing. That's why I tried to make this somewhat entertaining to read.
Anyway, please review! ^-^ Anyone who does so wins a free baby panda-bear! Who can say no to a cute, cuddly little panda-bear???
Can you?