"Why the hell did Chappelle pick her? He knows we hate her!" I said, getting very frustrated. It seemed like, at that moment, all the happiness that I had just been given was taken away. My eyes started to water. Why am I getting so emotional it's not that bad, maybe I am over tired, but even still why am I this emotional?
"Chelle calm down" He said, slowly making his way over to hug me.
"Can't you order someone else?" Tony looked at me sadly, shaking his head.
"I already tried, but sadly I don't have the power to do that as a field operative, which is what I am acting as right now."
Tony held me for a little while, and then he led me into the bedroom.
"Chelle remember how there are supposed to be cameras watching us" I nodded. "Well I'm not going to be able to comfort you much more, we've got to pretend were going through a rough patch" Michelle nodded again, then tears began in her eyes. Well at least if they were watching, then it looked like he was already breaking up with her.
I walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed. I wish there was a place we could go where no one would see us, no cameras, no missions, just us things would be so simple. "When is she coming" I ask sadly.
"Tonight, I am supposed to make it look like I am cheating on you, you catch us, blah blah blah." He said, expressing his irritation.
"How exactly are you cheating on me?" I said "What are you gonna do?"
"It scares me to think of what I am gonna have to do" This just kept getting more complicated.
We sat in silence for a while, Tony reached for my hand, and said "Look I know this isn't fair on you, and I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I'm going to have to go a bit further than kissing her, other wise it'll seem a bit exaggerated us getting a divorce..." He trailed off as I snatched my hand away. I didn't like it, he was being so calm about all this, like it was all okay - like he didn't care. He looked at me with a shocked expression, "They'll still be watching us" I explained, giving a lame excuse.
"I need to go for a walk" Michelle said.
Tony nodded, he grabbed his coat, to which I responded by shaking my head, "Alone" I said, I could see pain in his eyes, and I knew I should be there for him too, but I needed to clear my head. "Plus this'll give you chance to invite Carrie round... to do stuff..." I trailed off, Tony shook his head at me, "What? We don't have to do it till tomorrow?" He asked confused.
I took a deep breath, "Yeah, but it'll be more realistic if you get away with it a few times, if I catch you the first time..." My voice got caught in my throat. I couldn't do this anymore, I had to go.
Tony looked at me with despair, "Michelle... You want me to sleep with her?" He asked me, totally unsure.
Anger flicked across my face, "Well what else can you do, you were the one who said you needed to go further than just kissing"
At that I just left.
The second I shut the door behind me tears started running down my face. The cool air feels nice, but it reminds me of how warm I was just not too long ago. Isn't life crazy? How can I go from feeling so good to so utterly terrible, in a matter of minutes. I start to walk down the sidewalk when I spot a swing-set in the backyard, so I decide to go there instead. As I swing gently I shiver and cry softly, until I hear the backdoor open and he walks up to me to talk but I don't even look up.
"Didn't get too far did you?" He said gently but I didn't answer. "I know your upset, I can only imagine how hard this is for you, and I just want you to know your not going through it alone. I hate it too. It may seem like it's easy for me, but I am the one that has to be getting over friendly with that backstabbing hoe."
At this I can't help, but smile.
Tony leant in to kiss me, and I was about to lean in when I realised what we'd just done. I began shaking my head, and then walked into the house. Tony, totally confused followed me in. "Michelle, what was that?"
"Tony we have to be careful, 'Us' is getting in the way of this mission, we just spoke about the fake break up in the back yard, they could have easily heard. We need to be more careful" I explained.
"That's fine, we'll think" He said as he moved towards me to give me a kiss. But I moved away.
"That's another thing, what I'm trying to say is, we're supposed to be going through a rough patch so "us" can't get in the way of it, maybe we should just wait until after this whole things is done"
Tony just looked at me, and sighed, then walked into the bedroom and sat down. I know that look, I think he thinks I'm playing games.
I'm not playing games, it just hurts too much to be with him because every time I am, I think of what he will have to do. I wish there was some way to tell him I love him and I wish we could just be together and not have to worry about Carrie, or missions or saving the day, or being hero's. I just being want to be 'us'. I go and sit next to him on the bed. "I can't wait till this is over" Is all I say.
"Me too" He says. "Wanna have a fake fight?"
"I guess it would be appropriate. They can't here us right?" I ask.
"No just visual so we can be screaming anything we want" He said with a half smile.
"Well Tony! What can I say its not my fault!" I yell trying not to smile at how ridiculous this is, but my thoughts of me smiling disappear when the doorbell rings.
'Oh gosh, please don't be Carrie' I whisper to myself. Tony heads to the door, I resist the urge to follow him, I have to look like I'm mad with him so I roll my eyes, glare at him, and walk in the opposite direction. It was so hard to do without laughing. Tony answers the door, I don't look, but I do hear that voice, her voice.
"Hey babe" she said in a low seductive voice, I felt sick. I peaked out into the living room for a split second just in time to see her push him onto the couch. I feel my food coming up my throat and run to the bathroom.
After I let it out I decide to take a shower, to keep myself busy so I don't catch them.
I was in the shower for almost an hour, and when I had finished I decided I would leave my hair down and curly - its more comfy, and I'm definitely not in the mood for getting glamorous. I decide I'm hungry so I walk through to the kitchen and make myself something to eat, but I make a lot of noise to make sure that I'm heard, I decide its been almost an hour and a half, and whatever they were doing I wanted it to stop, so I shouted "Do you want anything to eat?"
I heard a grunt come from the living room, I scrunch my eyebrows, "Sorry?" I ask. I hear shuffling, and the door close quietly. Then Tony appeared.
His hair is messed up and his shirt is half open. I feel my nausea stat to rise but I suppress it and repeat "Want something to eat?"
"Act like your making me something but I need to talk to you." He said, walking closer to me and in a very low tone started to talk again. "I need consent."
"What?" I asked, thanking God they had no audio on us.
"I need you to tell me it's ok." I give him a puzzled look. "This whole play acting thing, Michelle, I can't handle it, knowing you'll hate me for it. I despise myself for it. I need to know that what goes on in this mission wont affect us"
"Here's your coffee" I say not sure what else to say.
"Chelle?" He asked me again.
"What?" I asked, he raised his eyebrows at me. "Look" I begin to explain, "I know this isn't your fault, and I don't know how the hell CTU can ask you to do this, but I do know that you have to do this if we want to catch them out" And that, is what I want more than anything in the world - I sigh to myself.
I saw Tony breath out as he began to relax a little. "But, I don't know if I can handle it, I mean okay you've gotta do it, it means nothing, but its with Carrie." I said, emphasizing Carrie's name. When I speak her name, it tastes foul.
I was about to break down so I took a couple of deep breaths, Tony just let me gather my thoughts, and I continued "And its just hard, I mean, your doing things with my worst enemy that we haven't even done yet, and I just... I just don't think that I'll..."
I stopped sobbing and spoke very clearly "I don't think I'll be able to take much more" Tony looked at me stunned.
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