Hehehe, It's been a while since the last chapter, hasn't it? I really am sorry about that - RL got busy and I had my Masters workload to deal with, but as I said in my note for Sailor Makoto! I am still alive and continuing my fics. Though updates will be slow from now, hopefully they won't be as far apart as this one. Hope you'll stick with me, if you're still reading.

Rei hung his head low as guilt flooded him, that he had done a rather stupid thing in deciding to swim in the ocean at night with no supervision and that Makoto had nearly drowned trying to help him. That it was his actions that had put that look of fear in Makoto's eyes, when those eyes had held nothing but warmth and kindness before. Haru had been right to yell at him, should have yelled at him more and Makoto and Nagisa had been too quick to forgive something so stupid.

An image of Makoto's face as he swam towards him flashed before his eyes. When the float had been swept out of his hands, the sudden and very real possibilty of drowning right there and then, of his family never even finding his body had flooded his body with fear. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to die.

The thought had fuelled his fear, giving his body a surge of adrenaline and arms that should have been tired from an entire day of intense training had renewed strength. And there was a strange sort of hyper-awareness that came with an adrenaline rush, that his body seemed capable of more in that moment than ever before and his mind seemed more alert. He was conscious of everything around him to an improbable extent, but his focus was on keeping his head above the water and the figure that was rapidly coming towards him, with the promise of help. Those few moments, Rei had experienced with a crystal clarity that he would probably never achieve again.

Makoto's face had been fraught with fear, with panic and worry, but then, when he had almost come close enough to touch, something had happened, and that expression had transformed to one of shock and terror. The sort of terror that could paralyse a body. And that had been exactly what had happened. Makoto had frozen in the water, eyes wide, whites showing all around the iris. And Rei had felt something slip past him in the water, a silken caress melting down the side of his leg and a monstrous apparition in his peripheral vision: a pale face, too many teeth, a cruel smile.

Rei didn't know or understand what happened after that. All he knew was that Makoto was limp in the water before him, that the adrenaline rush was wearing off and his limbs were growing heavier. It was getting harder and harder to keep his head above the water and he kept swallowing the brine every time he tried calling out for help, hoping against hope that someone, anyone would hear him and come save them. Time seemed too slow and too fast all at once, the waves tossing him side to side and crashing over him as he tried to flail towards Makoto's unconscious form, even though he didn't know what he would do if he did manage to get near, given that it was hard enough keeping himself near the surface and his mind was beginning to fog with panic.

But, like miracles sent from heaven itself, Haruka and Nagisa had appeared through the waves and words could never describe the relief he had felt when Nagisa's strong arms had grabbed him, even though the next thing he had done had been to promptly pull him underwater.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected Makoto to say when he'd asked about what had happened in his failed rescue attempt. That he'd...what? Tell Rei that there was a monster in the ocean? That there was something lurking about in the water, like a - a kappa, or a hyosube or something? Like they were in a horror movie or a fairytale? It sounded so absurd, even in his head, of course Makoto wouldn't say something like that. And why was he so convinced he'd seen such a thing anyway? Most people would have waved it away as some kind of panic-induced hallucination - and that was probably just what it was. He was being foolish. Makoto had given them a reason for his fear, a story that sounded so much more reasonable than the wild imaginings in Rei's head, of a childhood phobia that had gotten the better of him.

Yet...Makoto's face at the time had suggested that he had seen the same apparition that Rei had. The shock and the terror as he'd drawn near and looked past him; Rei shuddered, it must have been right behind him. Rei wanted to tell himself that it had just been a figment of his imagination and forget about it, but even as he thought that, there was a part of his mind that was refusing to let go. A part of his mind that was convinced his vision was real.

He shook himself out of his musings when Nagisa asked, "Why did you agree to the training camp, if you're afraid of the water?"

"Because I wanted to swim with everyone."

Rei couldn't help but catch his breath at Makoto's answer, an echo of his own feelings and he understood why Makoto had forgiven his foolish actions so quickly earlier. It was because he felt the same way, and coming to a place he feared was his own version of foolishness. Looking around at the other's faces, he could see that in that moment they too felt the same rush of affection for Makoto as he did.

They didn't sleep that night in the lighthouse, instead staying up looking at the stars when the storm cleared, each of them making up constellations for clusters of stars in the sky. And it wasn't long after that the sun began to rise, turning the sky pink and its light shimmering over a deceptively peaceful ocean. Rei couldn't help but look at it suspiciously. When he snuck a surreptitious glance at Makoto, his upperclassman was looking at the water with an unreadable look on his face, though Rei thought he could see a hint of trepidation. Understandable, given what he had revealed to them only hours, but Rei still couldn't help but wonder.

For Makoto's benefit, none of them suggested swimming over at first, but relying on someone to come and rescue them would have meant they would have to wait a while. It was still early enough that the sun was still sitting on the horizon, which meant it was probably barely five o'clock and it wasn't likely that a lot of people would have woken up. Especially not Amakata-sensei or Gou, neither of whom seemed like particularly early risers.

So, after standing on the beach and seeing no one go by for a while, Nagisa tentatively suggested he would swim over and find someone to help. Makoto's response was instant.

"No!" He seemed to realise his outburst was uncharacteristic and worrisome a moment later. "I- I mean...no, I can go too. It...it'll be better if we go together." He gave them a placating smile.

"Don't be stupid." Haruka's voice was terse.

"Hm...you don't have to force yourself, Mako-chan. I'll be fine!"

"Ah, sorry, sorry, it's fine. The ocean's peaceful now...and since I'm not alone, I won't be scared, so its ok." Makoto waved his hands before him in appeasement, determined to make them stop worrying about him, but Rei thought the smile on his face seemed a little tight.

"Then, me too." A shadow of alarm passed over Makoto's face at Rei's words before it was quickly hidden. "We can all go."

There was a pause before Makoto responded, his voice hesitant. To Rei, it felt as if he were convincing himself more than answering them. "O- okay. Yeah. I guess, its better if we're all together."

"Well, let's go then! I want to get back to the tents and have a nice long nap. And then, a really big breakfast." Nagisa led the way into the water, chattering about all the things he wanted in said breakfast, and Rei followed him in with one last glance at Makoto's face. Makoto smiled back at him reassuringly and Rei noticed that standing behind them both, Haruka was looking at Makoto with a frown on his face.

~#~

Haru made sure to keep a watchful eye on Makoto that day, sticking close to him whether on land or sea. Though he'd said, several times in fact, that he was fine and capable of managing his fear, Haru could feel that he was holding something back. Because Makoto was the type to say that he was fine for someone else's sake, even if he wasn't - had proved it by coming on this training camp in the first place.

And Haru knew Makoto like the back of his hand. Could see how he manoeuvred himself to keep them all in his eye line and tensed whenever it looked like there was a little too much distance between one of them and the rest. His strokes weren't as fluid as they had been the day before and Haru could see from the way he swam that some of his confidence was lost. He'd avoided putting his face in the water as much as he could, sticking to breaststroke with his head raised.

But it wasn't until that night, when they had finally retired to their tents, that anything happened. Nagisa had relinquished his place by Haru without a word, an unspoken agreement between all of them that it was better for the best friends to be together after the events of the previous nights.

Makoto had fallen asleep fairly quickly, his soft breathing beside him a familiar, comforting sound. Haru though hadn't been able to sleep, despite the physical exhaustion gained from the day's exertions. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling of the tent and listening to the waves outside, waiting for sleep to come with tired eyes but unable to stop his mind from working. Time seemed to have passed so quickly from the beginning of the school year, when they had met Nagisa again after years, to being at the training camp, and things from the past were being stirred back to the surface. And Makoto, who had stayed unobtrusively by his side throughout the years, had nearly died last night and had then spent the rest of the day pretending everything was fine.

It was troublesome and irritating and Haru didn't really know what to do. Maybe it was better to end the camp and go home. But if he said something, would it hurt Makoto, who had been trying so hard to carry on as normal? If he said something, the others would know why, would look at Makoto and Makoto would feel shamed and his efforts to conquer his fears would be in vain, ruined by Haru. And if he said nothing, Makoto would keep going as he was. To say something, to not say something, his thoughts circled round and round as his eyes grew heavy.

Beside him, the steady rhythm of Makoto's breath stuttered, segueing into shallow, panicked gasps that took no air in at all. While daylight had kept his fears at bay, in his sleep he hadn't been able to keep his guards up and his dreams were making him whimper and moan and toss and turn. And call his name, a pleading litany,

"Haru. Haru. Haru. Haru. Haru."

Any trace of sleep that had been creeping upon him left as if he had been doused in ice water. He turned to his friend's writhing form and shook him, his grip on his shoulder perhaps a bit too firm and tight. But Makoto needed to wake up. The sooner, the better.

"Makoto! Makoto, wake up!"

Makoto woke with a gasp, panting as if he had been denied air, green eyes roving the tent until they finally landed on Haru. Only then did he start to calm, sitting up and bringing his legs to his chest, hiding his face in his knees. Haru moved his hand to his back, until his breathing steadied, and waited.

They sat in silence for a while, with the sound of their breaths, the wind and the waves outside. Haru remembered waking Makoto up from a nightmare before, when they were much younger; how Makoto had been so distressed he was near tears, only able to tell Haru that he'd been drowning. He waited patiently, to see if Makoto would tell him anything this time, but he only said,

"Thanks, for waking me up, Haru"

Haru could only frown in response to that, thinking of course, that's not something you need to thank me for, idiot and what else would I do, but Makoto wouldn't look up and meet his eyes and saying it out loud would have sounded too mean. So instead he muttered,

"Maybe we should go home."

Makoto did look up at that, freezing when their eyes met and a thousand things were said and unsaid, warring between the urge to run away and the commitment to stay. Then, he shook his head.

"I'll be fine, Haru... I'm just going to sit here for a bit, before I go back to sleep. Sorry, I woke you."

Haru huffed an irritated sigh. "Don't be stupid, Makoto."

But he lay down, facing away, understanding Makoto's words to be a request for privacy so that he could gather himself back up again. He kept an ear open to his movements and when he heard Makoto eventually lay back down again, he scooted backwards offering his warmth and relaxed a little when he felt Makoto's hand clutch the fabric of his nightshirt, like when they were little. He was glad that his presence could comfort Makoto so much.

~#~

He'd woken up with his heart hammering in his chest, terror still holding it in a vice grip and making it thunder in his ears, his nightmare fogging his mind. It was hard to calm down when the vestiges of his dream wouldn't stop haunting him and his mind wouldn't let go of the panic of losing Haru and of being dragged under the water, unable to get free no matter how much he struggled. With his face hidden his face in his knees, he concentrated on breathing properly and slowing his heart rate, missing the warmth of Haru's hand on his back. But he was grateful that Haru had laid back down, turning away and respecting his request for a semblance of privacy in their small tent - it would have been much harder to pull himself together under Haru's watchful eyes, eyes that could see right through him and witness every graceless moment he struggled.

Eventually, a wave of tiredness washed over him, sapping the strength from his limbs. Fear was such an exhausting emotion and it had stayed at the edge of his consciousness through the entire day, keeping him high-strung, but also trying his hardest to hide it and pretend that he was fine. He lay back down, a feeling of helplessness gnawing at his chest. He heard Haru move and turned his head to see him shuffling backwards, towards him and automatically reached out to hold onto the back of his nightshirt, the way he had when they were younger. Because he'd always believed that Haru was the strongest, most amazing person he knew and could protect Makoto from anything. Looking at that strong back, he wanted to say so many things.

"Haru."

The name burst out of his throat, though he didn't really know what he wanted to say. He couldn't articulate the mess of thoughts flitted through his head even if he wanted to. He didn't know what to do, felt helpless and out of depth with a deadline for a task he didn't want to do and had no idea how to achieve hanging over his head. Tell me you love me, he wanted to say. But it was a desperate and selfish thought. I don't want to die. I don't want the monster to get me. I want to protect Haru, but I'm still so scared. But none of it would pass his lips. Instead:

"Promise me..."

Haru turned his head a little to show he was listening, waiting for Makoto to continue.

"Promise me you won't go in the water alone. Please?"

Silence. Haru was thinking, probably wondering why Makoto would ask him something like that. He raised himself onto one elbow and turned his head more fully, searching Makoto's face. But Makoto couldn't explain himself.

"Please? Promise me, Haru?"

He must have heard some note of desperation in his voice. Makoto rarely asked anything of anyone, let alone begged or pleaded. To ask like that, it must have been very important to him and Haru wanted that anxious look to leave his face. So he nodded, voicing his compliance with a quiet, "Okay. I promise."

Relief eased some of the tension on his face, even if it didn't erase it completely. Makoto wouldn't meet his eyes again, but he didn't let go of his shirt for the rest of the night either.

Whooo, well, wow, that was one hell of a chapter to write. I'm really hoping that it hasn't come off as melodramatic - I'm always afraid that'll happen when the angst gets ramped up. But as you can see, we're finally moving away from canon.

Next chapter - we'll be paying Rin a visit. In his dreams ;)

Which speaking of - I'm a little surprised that only one person mentioned anything about Rin's scene in their review. Anyway, feedback is always appreciated!