Saw this as an idea on Tumblr and it stuck. But it didn't come out in words quite like I imagined. Someone else might do it better, but I tried!
You May Kiss the Bride or Whatever
The doors of Meade Hall flew open and the village all stood from their seats, turning to look back as she made her grand entrance. Stormfly walked proudly down the aisle and sat opposite Toothless, watching the back herself.
Hiccup stared, both anxious and excited.
Light beamed from behind, throwing her into silhouette as though the gods themselves had beamed her down from Valhalla. Hiccup let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding as the doors closed behind her.
Standing proud and radiant, Astrid smiled down the aisle at him. She had always been beautiful but today she had outdone herself, even the goddess Freyja would envy her beauty today.
Her dress was simplistic in design, woven from fine exotic fabrics Johann had bought, golden embroidery making elegant twisting patterns across the bodice. A pure white fur shrug around her shoulders for warmth. She carried a bouquet unlike any other before. Nadder spines stuck up admist a handful of thorny roses, reminding Hiccup of Astrid herself. Beautiful beyond compare, but deadly too.
She didn't walk down the aisle. She glided. As swift as a dragon on the wing, she came down towards him. He smiled a wide, gap-toothed, crooked smile. Such joy and excitement, he could not recall.
She joined him, taking her place by his side and they turned to face Gobber, who was to marry them. Behind them, Hiccup's mother cried softly, smiling and proud. Behind Astrid stood Heather and Ruffnut, both looking rather beautiful themselves. Eret too stood with the girls, smiling and wiping away a tear as he watched.
Behind Hiccup stood a weeping Fishlegs, a beaming Tuffnut and Snotlout who was muttering about dust in his eyes.
Astrid smiled broadly at him and they stood, waiting to take their vows.
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered to… to…" Gobber sniffed, eyes streaming as he looked at the pair. "Gah, I'm so proud of you boy." Hiccup smiled and nodded. He just hoped Gobber wouldn't tell embarrassing stories tonight after a few tankards of mead. "Anyway, like I was sayin' we're gathered here to… to see Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third, ch..ch…chief of the Hoo…Hooligan tribe…" He was struggling, Hiccup could tell. "… And Astrid Hof…Hofferson as they make official their marr…" Gobber broke down.
He sobbed heavily and couldn't get any further words from his mouth. A gentle Fishlegs steered him off the raised platform and Valka took his arm and soothed him as she led him back to a seat beside her. Tuffnut though.
Tuffnut had strode confidently up before the couple and coughed to bring attention back to them.
"I had a suspiscion this particular wedding might be too emotionally moving for our dear Gobber. And so, in preparation should he be incapacitated by his own tears, I completed my training and became ordained and able to perform the marriage." He told the congregation proudly.
"Oh gods." Astrid and Hiccup murmured.
"Yes exactly!" Tuff said before opening his arms wide and staring up to the heavens. "Oh gods above, we ask that you may bless this union of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third, chief of the Hooligan Tribe and Dragon Master of all dragon masters," 'Here we go' Thought Hiccup "And Astrid Hofferson the Fearless, fierce warrior and great dragon trainer. Bless their union and grant them children!" Both turned red at this suggestion. Tuff then snapped his focus back to them.
"Hiccup, Astrid, I have known you both all my life and I always knew… Ok maybe I didn't, I mean I don't think any of us saw this coming until Hiccup trained the dragons… But I digress I digress!" He said hurriedly as Hiccup glared and raised an eyebrow.
"Hiccup, Astrid, I have known you all my life and now as you stand before me, a couple ready to take their vows, I think of everything we've been through together. All the fights, the dragons, the adventures and misadventures. Ah good times… But, when I think back over it, I realise, you have always been a team. A couple. Even before you were ready to admit it. You stick by each other and constantly watch out for the other. She doesn't punch anyone else that way. And those stupid braids… You're all hers now Hiccup. Even your dragons know it!" Hiccup wished Tuffnut would hurry up.
"You two are a harmony like no other. Completing each other, making the other better and stronger. You belong together. So now, I say to you, Astrid, make your vows unto Hiccup." Astrid rolled her eyes at him but smiled facing Hiccup.
"Hiccup, you know I'm not great with the romantic-y stuff. So I'll keep this short and sweet. I will always save your ass when you try something stupid. I will be your voice of reason when you are unsure. I will be your warrior when you are weak. I will always put those stupid braids in your hair, and I will always give you an affectionate punch when you deserve it. I will always fight beside you. I will always support you in everything you do, and question you when I think it's dumb. But I'll still follow you anywhere. I will be your rock in the storm. I pledge myself unto you, Hiccup. From now until eternity, I am yours." She finished and Ruffnut passed forward a golden ring in which Gobber had specially forged two dragons that twisted together. Astrid smiled at Hiccup widely and slipped the ring upon his finger.
Tuffnut wiped a tear as Gobber gave a huge sob. "Oh you guys. Ok ok, Hiccup, now make your vows unto Astrid."
"Astrid, there is more to say than I can possibly fit into this moment. There are more words than I can possibly express. I feel more than I can possibly explain. But I'll give it my best shot. You are my warrior. My greatest supporter. If I'm going to do something stupid or reckless, you always make sure I never do it alone. If only to say 'I told you so' after. You're the only one I ever wanted. The only one I will ever want or need. And to you I make these promises. I will take care of you even when you insist you don't need taking care of. I will spend sleepless nights with you should we blessed with a child. I will always think you more beautiful than the goddess Freyja herself. I will always protect you in my own Hiccup way. I will always do stupid things just so you can save my ass. I promise that I will not only be a good leader to my people, but a good husband to you. A worthy husband of such a goddess, a Valkyrie, a warrior. I will be as good of a father as I can be. I will make mistakes, I will. But I know that as long as I have you, we can work through them. As long as I have you, there is nothing I cannot do. I pledge myself unto you, milady. From now until eternity, Astrid, I am yours." Fishlegs presented Hiccup with a slightly smaller gold ring, a perfect match to the one Astrid had given him. Hiccup took it and carefully placed it on Astrid's finger, holding onto both her hands and beaming brightly. They turned to look at Tuff who smiled and sniffed.
"Awww man. Moments like these…" He pumped a fist on his chest. "Oh great Odin and Freyja! These two have now taken their vows and pledge themselves to one another. We ask that you bless this union!" He gave another sniff. "Ladies and gentlemen, dragons and Vikings, it is now my great pleasure to declare Hiccup and Astrid husband and wife!" He announced to great cheers. He looked back at Hiccup and Astrid, trying hard not to cry or look sappy.
"You may kiss the bride or whatever." He said in as casual a manner as he could.
Hiccup didn't need telling twice. He pulled Astrid by her waist to him and kissed her firmly.
The congregation erupted, dragons roared and Gobber cried. Snotlout cried too. And finally Tuff cried, hugging the newly weds tightly.
Hiccup and Astrid just smiled and laughed. It was a perfectly unpredictable wedding. They planned, they went for it, and nothing went quite as expected. But that was what made it theirs.