A/N: Sooo sorry that I haven't updated this in like… forever. I got so caught up in writing The Truth About Waiting. But, I'm now resuming this, turning it into a much more crackish and fluffy sort of collection of adventures. Enjoy!
When the door was opened, it revealed Earth during the 1950's.
"What's so bad about this?" Rory asked. Around them was a fairly busy street. It had to have been America because the cars were driving on the other side of the road and they heard American accents from the people milling all around them.
"Ha! So this is where the TARDIS took off to?" River laughed. Amy and Rory looked at River inquisitively, but the Doctor still looked as thought he was almost frightened of something.
"What's so special about this time in America?" Amy inquired. River smirked, so it must have been something good.
"Oh, don't," the Doctor snapped at River.
"Come on now, sweetie. It might even be the reason we're here," River shot back. The married couple looked at the other two, noticing how much they themselves were like a married couple with the way they fought.
"You see, a few years ago the Doctor had… a little too much to drink approximately," River stopped to check the time on a watch of a man passing by, "an hour ago. And a certain guest at the party, who was also a little tipsy, took a liking to our Doctor, and the two got married. That guest was Marylin Monroe." Amy wiggled her eyebrows at the Doctor.
"Oh, so you got married to a human, and Marylin Monroe no less!" she teased him. The Doctor looked a little agitated.
"That chapel was not legitimate," he said. He was glancing around nervously as if expecting someone.
"So what's the problem now?" Rory asked.
"Oh Rory, the Doctor's afraid she's going to make another move on him," Amy said with a laugh. River smiled too, though she restrained from making her laugh audible. The Doctor was a very intelligent and very wise man, but he had no idea what to do with a woman. He got extremely flustered; he would blush and flail his hands around when confronted with a woman who made advances.
"Maybe your TARDIS is jealous?" River suggested. It would give an explanation as to why the time machine had decided to visit this place at this time, which was why they were there at all.
"No, no, no, not jealous. Curious, probably. In all of our time together, she's only ever seen me married twice, and the first time she wasn't at the wedding since it was on Gallifrey, before I stole- er, borrowed- her. She probably wanted to know what happened since I left her quite a bit away from the chapel…" the Doctor said in a bit of a jumbled way.
"Alright, so what are we supposed to do?" Rory asked. It was always up to the Doctor to fix whatever problem they faced. And this time Rory didn't even quite understand the problem. "Actually, what are we even doing here?" he amended his question.
"We're… leaving," the Doctor answered. He started hurrying back toward the TARDIS as a pretty drunk woman started stumbling his way.
"Doctor, is that… Marilyn Monroe?" Amy asked. The Doctor glared at her. He thought they'd already been over this, but sometimes humans could take a while to process things.
"Yes, of course it is. Now, if we don't get out of here soon, I'll probably be flat-out drunk and married… again," the Doctor snapped.
"Oh, Doctorrrr!" came Marilyn's shrill voice. The Doctor ran, not caring if he stranded his two companions with his crazed, stalkerish, half-wife. Actually, on second thought, he realized that leaving the four of them together (Amy, Rory, River, and Marylin) would not be the best of ideas.
"Come on, you lot!" the Doctor yelled. Reluctantly, Amy, Rory, and River followed the Doctor back into the blue plice box.
"So… did you find out your box went to that time?" Rory asked.
"Yeah. My TARDIS has a cruel sense of humor," the Doctor said darkly.
*DW*DW*DW*
The next day, Amy had suggested jokingly that they go to a Justin Beiber concert. The Doctor had been about to say no firmly when River did it for him.
"Not unless you want other tragic teenage death on Earth," River threatened. Amy believed her. And, no matter how fun the thought of a River versus Beiber showdown was to entertain, she agreed that it wouldn't be the best of all ideas.
"Okay, my turn to pick," Rory said. He never got to pick. It was always River or Amy, and it wasn't very fair since they had weapons at their disposal to make the Doctor listen. Like skirts and flirting. Neither option would be nearly as effective for Rory.
"We should go to… visit the dinosaurs!" Rory exclaimed with the sudden idea. Amy groaned, obviously not thrilled with the suggestion.
"Okay, fine, dinosaurs it is," the Doctor agreed. So the Doctor began pushing his usual assortment of buttons and levers and unidentified objects until the TARDIS lurched and landed on prehistoric Earth.
The four time travelers exited the blue box to a wonderfully olden world of large reptiles. Rory gasped in amazement while River just scoffed.
"Oh, come on. They're not really that great. Now, if we'd brought the little blonde idjit Amy had suggested earlier and fed him to the dinosaurs…" River trailed off, lost in a beautiful daydream of killing Justin Beiber.
"Come off it, River. You know I was joking about going to see him," Amy said in defense of her character. The Doctor began happily skipping throughout the land, searching for dinosaurs. He looked rather like a kid in a candy shop… a very dangerous candy shop where the candy may decide to eat you instead of the other way around.
"Look! It's a Huayangosaurus!" the Doctor exclaimed, pointing to a green dinosaur with large spikes running down its back and tail. The Huayangosaurus sniffed the air. "Oooh, he smells Time Lord!" the Doctor added excitedly.
"What's a Hydro-mango-saurus or whatever you said?" Amy asked.
"Huayangosaurus. As for Hydro-mango-saurus… well… that's a whole different vacation…" River corrected Amy. The Huayangosaurus (let's just call him Huey from now on) seemed to enjoy the scent of Time Lord, because he started getting closer to the four of them. Huey gave a roar that sounded suspiciously similar to the sound of a rumbling stomach.
"Uh, Doctor? I think he likes Time Lords," Rory warned. But the Doctor grinned stupidly back at them, beckoning them to come closer.
"Well of course he does. I'm quite friendly, really. And rather irresistible," the Doctor clearly didn't understand Rory's idea of a warning. River rolled her eyes.
"Of course, he is irresistible," River muttered. Amy nodded in agreement, causing Rory to mime banging his head against a wall.
"Rory, are you attempting to head bang?" the Doctor asked in curiosity. "I've seen that some people from your era and location do that as some sort of a mating ritual," the Doctor added sagely.
"Wow, who are you trying to mate with? The dinosaur?" River asked semi-sarcastically. Said dinosaur began advancing again. Huey had an intent look on his face as he got close enough to put his nose to the Doctor and begin examining this strange and puny animal he had just discovered. And there were three more similar beings with the first, all just waiting around.
"I wasn't trying to-" Rory got cut off as the dinosaur roared again. Huey opened his large jaws and lowered them to the Doctor as if saying: Come on in so I can eat you! The Doctor only just then realized that he should be running, and the other three followed closely behind him. Four sets of feet made tiny little crunching noises as they ran through the leaves, followed by four bone-crushing footfalls of the enormous dinosaur Huey.
In short, it was another normal day.