Helllllooo. Thanks as always to those of you who left reviews.
This chapter is probably not the best, because the juicy stuff starts in next chapter, and I just had some writer's block at first when it came to this one.
Also, it is extremely likely that the Valentine's Day episode will be nothing like this. Sadface. :(

Summary: Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Plans are made, scores are settled, but at the end of the week, who will get their happy ending?
Pairings: Finn/Rachel, Quinn/Puck, Quinn/Sam, Artie/Brittany, Santana/Sam, Santana/Puck, Tina/Mike, (slight) Tina/Artie, Kurt/Blaine

"Don't waste your time on me.
You're already the voice inside my head.
I miss you, miss you."
(x)
"I Miss You" ; Blink-182

chapter six: and i'm only human

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Finn's growing nervous as Kurt alternately highlights things on the list he's accumulated and crosses things off. Kurt glances up at him, makes one more mark on the paper, then hands it back to Finn.

Finn scans it eagerly, then groans. "Why'd you cross off releasing a cage full of doves? I thought that was one of the more romantic options."

Kurt stares at him. "Really? And where are you going to get these doves? And why are you taking them to a café? Plus, doesn't Rachel have a fear of—"

"Crap! You're right, she totally has a bird-phobia. Thanks so much, Kurt. Really, I would epically fail this whole thing if you weren't here to help me."

Kurt smiles. "I know, Finn. Believe me, I know."

Finn sighs. "Okay, so I get to the café first. Do I just go up and say, 'Hey, Rach! Funny story – I'm your secret admirer.'"

Kurt purses his lips. "Well, basically, but maybe not so straight-forward. I mean, it would be rude to keep her waiting for some knight to come riding in on a horse when he's not coming."

"Wait," Finn says slowly, processing Kurt's scenario. "Does that mean I'm automatically not the knight in shining armor?"

"Well, no," Kurt assures him hastily. "It just means that she's not expecting you to be the knight in shining armor. So you have to prove to her that you are. Tell her that you're sorry about the Santana thing and the way you treated her, for starters. And then tell her how much you care about her, and how much she means to you. And that you did this whole secret admirer thing—"

"To show her she's worth it," Finn finishes quietly. "To show that she's the one, and that she's always been the one. I was just an idiot who couldn't see it."

"Exactly," Kurt says, sighing in relief. "Do you want me to write this stuff down for you? Maybe on some notecards?"

Finn shakes his head. "I think I got it, actually. I think, for the first time, I'm actually getting it. She shouldn't even want to meet with me. I shouldn't go at all, Kurt."

"No, no, no," Kurt tells him. "You are going. I worked hard getting Rachel to see that she has to meet you, and if you don't show up, that'll just crush her. And you will not break her heart again, Finn Hudson. I won't allow it."

"She'll be disappointed," he points out. "And she has a right to be. I should've… I should've just left her alone and let her move on. This was so selfish of me."

"You didn't see how happy she was, talking about the gifts you left her," Kurt tells him, his voice filled with reassurance. "You make her happy, Finn. I know she doesn't know it's you," he adds hastily when Finn starts to break in, "but you make her light up. It's always been you who can do that to her. And, yeah, she might be angry at first, but I think she'll come around, and finally you two will live happily ever after, and I won't have to listen to either of you moan anymore, making it a winning situation for everyone."

Kurt pauses for breath. "Now, let's finish these plans to sweep Ms. Berry off her feet."

Finn offers Kurt a timid smile. "Thanks, man."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get mushy on me. We still have a long way to go. No balloons, alright? Balloons are just… cheesy. And kind of awful. So I'm vetoing that."

Finn sighs, crossing the balloons off his list.

Tina almost regrets agreeing to this mall trip. Almost immediately, Artie and Mike head off to the food court, leaving her to shop with Brittany.

"We should go to the pet store," Brittany says, looking at Tina with wide-eye innocence.

Tina sighs and agrees.

"Don't you just love animals?" Brittany asks, taking Tina's hand and practically dragging her through the crowd.

"Yeah, they're alright," Tina answers. "Just not the snakes and stuff. I don't really like slimy things."

"I used to have a frog," Brittany tells her. "His name was Mr. Jeremy. But then my cat ate him."

Tina doesn't know what to say to that, so she decides to go with, "Oh."

"It's okay, though," Brittany continues. "Rainbow Unicorn is super smart, and she found out about Mr. Jeremy through my diary. I just had to start hiding it so she wouldn't read it anymore."

Tina doesn't know whether to be more alarmed that she thinks her cat can read or that she named her cat Rainbow Unicorn. Thankfully, she doesn't have to decide because they reach the pet store.

Brittany practically rushes through the door, still dragging Tina behind her. She stops at the rabbit cages, staring at them longingly. "I've always wanted a bunny," she says mournfully.

A saleswoman approaches them and notices Brittany eyeing the rabbits (because it's really hard to ignore). "Would you like to hold one?" she asks Brittany gently.

Brittany lights up. "Oh, can I?"

The woman smiles, pulling on her gloves. She reaches into the cage and pulls out a brown and white rabbit, setting it in Brittany's outstretched arms.

Brittany pets its fur, her eyes never leaving the rabbit. "Good bunny," she says quietly. "No need to be scared. We're gonna be best friends, alright? Just don't tell Santana." She smiles up at Tina. "Do you wanna hold it?" she asks.

Tina shakes her head. "Nah, that's okay. I think he likes you too much."

Brittany beams. "I really like hanging out with you, Tina," she announces. "I used to think that you were like a vampire or something, or one of those harajuku girls that Gwen Stefani used to have following her around, but you're really cool. We should hang out more often."

Tina smiles back at her. She actually does like hanging out with Brittany. Sure, she's a little dumb, but she's so nice and genuinely caring, it's hard not to like her. "We definitely should," she replies.

Brittany sighs, putting the rabbit back in the cage. "Bye, Norman," she says sadly.

"You named him Norman?" Tina asks, eyebrows raised.

"No, that's what he told me his name was," Brittany insists. Before Tina can think up a reply, she adds, "Let's go look at some clothes now, okay? I think you need some new clothes that…"

"Aren't black?" Tina offers.

Brittany nods.

"Let's go," Tina says. This time, she's the one who grabs Brittany's hand.

"So, what have you been up to?" Blaine asks, sliding into the booth at Breadstix across from Kurt. (They're not dating yet, but they might as well be. Seriously.)

Kurt sighs. "Well, if I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Especially not Rachel. Understand?"

Blaine looks confused. "Wait. I liked Rachel. Is this something bad about Rachel?"

"No," Kurt says with exasperation. "It's about her secret admirer."

"That is possibly the cutest story ever," Blaine tells him. "Seriously. It's like straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel."

"Yeah, well, it could end in disaster," Kurt laments.

"Wait, what?"

"Her secret admirer is my stepbrother, Finn. Her ex-boyfriend." Kurt lets that sink in for a second.

"Oh. My. Sweet. Jesus."

"That's what I said!"

"You've told me a lot about Finn," Blaine begins. "And… not all of it is flattering to his… wit. So how the hell is he pulling this thing off? I mean, Rachel was absolutely gushing. And isn't she pissed at him? For what he did to her?"

"Finn's actually done pretty well so far," Kurt allows. "But when she finds out it's him, he's worried Rachel will not take it well. He enlisted me to help him out, so he doesn't screw everything up."

Blaine lets out a low whistle. "He's feeling the pressure, huh?"

"Yeah, just trying to win back the woman he loves who was broken-hearted after he scorned her," Kurt says sarcastically. "No reason to freak out or anything."

Blaine rolls his eyes. "Well, when you put it like that…"

Kurt laughs lightly.

"So what do you and Finn have in store for Miss Berry?"

Kurt smiles coyly. "Do you really want me to spoil it for you?"

"Uh, yes, please!"

Kurt leans forward as he starts to tell Blaine the plan.

He stops by Quinn's house with a bouquet of flowers in hand. Honestly, he's a little nervous when he rings the doorbell – and that's saying something, because Noah Puckerman never gets nervous.

Quinn opens the door, and her smile fades. "Puck," she says, her voice emotionless. "What are you doing here?"

He shoots her a dazzling smile. "Can't I stop by to surprise my girl?"

"Your girl?" she asks, crossing her arms.

"If you don't want to label it, that's fine, but I just…" He swallows. This isn't going at all like he had planned. "After what happened yesterday, I just figured that made us something more."

Quinn closes her eyes, and Puck knows that she's trying not to think about the hour she spent crying in his car. "You did?" she asks.

"Well, yeah." He takes her hand in one of his own. "When I kissed you, it wasn't just because you were sad and I wanted to cheer you up. I love you, Quinn. I always have, and I always will. I know you're probably scared, but we can take things slow. I just… I wanna be with you."

Quinn gulps, and she extracts her hand from Puck's. "I – I can't do this, Puck. I just came to terms with Beth and everything and I can't do this with you. I'm not ready."

Puck nods, trying to keep his emotions in check. "I get it, Quinn. I really do. And I just hope you know that I'm the only one who gets it."

A tear slides down her cheek.

He drops the flowers onto the porch and turns to walk away. "You can come and find me when you're ready, Quinn. I don't wanna make you do something you don't wanna do."

"Puck," she calls out after him.

He doesn't turn back around, but he says, "You can keep the fuckin' flowers."

He climbs into his truck and pulls out of Quinn's driveway. He thought that this time, things would be different. Once again, he is wrong.

Sam doesn't know why going to the mall seemed like a good idea. He doesn't really have anyone to hang out with, but at the same time, he needs to get some fresh air.

Plus, he's super hungry.

He waits in line at the Chinese place and after he finally puts in his order, he hears someone calls his name. He turns around to see Mike and Artie waving at him from a table a few feet away.

He picks up his food and heads over to them. "Hey, guys," he says with a grin. "What brings you here?"

"Shopping with Brittany and Tina," Mike answers.

"Well, they're shopping," Artie adds. "We're just… hangin' out. Feel free to hang with us, bro."

Sam smiles and sits down. "Don't mind if I do."

"Artie was just in the middle of the story about his double date from hell yesterday," Mike tells him. He glances down at Sam's meal. "Nice choice, by the way. I know the family that runs the Chinese place here. Their food is excellent."

Artie nods. "The food is good. But the date? It was awful."

"What happened?" Sam asks around a mouthful of lo mein.

"Brit decided it would be a good idea to double with Santana and Azimio of all people."

Sam nearly chokes on his noodles. His heartbeat quickens at the mention of Santana's name and he feels a little sick.

"It didn't start off well, and it certainly didn't end well. Azimio basically called Santana a whore and he… well, he ragged on you, actually, Sam, because he heard you went on a date with her Thursday."

"Did you?" Mike asks.

Sam nods. "What did Azimio say?"

"Called you gay. Nothing too exciting. He can't think up anything else, really. But Santana defended you, bro."

"She did?"

Artie nods. "For real. Said something about how you were better than everyone, or something. Like, I've never heard Santana talk that way about another human being. Maybe Brittany like, once."

Sam shakes his head. "You probably misunderstood it. She wasn't really interested in me, anyways. She was just using me to get back at Puckerman."

"Ouch," Mike says. "Tough break."

"Maybe it started off that way," Artie allows, "but it sure didn't seem that way. If Santana doesn't care, she shows it. She would've yelled at you for blowing her plan or something. I think that along the way, something changed. She actually likes you, Sam."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I'll believe that when I hear it from her. Which I won't. Because she doesn't."

Artie looks like he's about to say something else, but Mike urges, "Finish the story, dude."

"Right, right, yeah," he says. "Where was I? Oh, yeah. So Azimio's ragging on you, and Santana gets up and tells Brittany she's leaving, and then Azimio pushes me out of the freaking way so he can get out and yells after her, 'You think one queer boy tells you you're worth something, that makes you better than me? Well it doesn't!' Then she stops, and you can tell she is pissed, and she comes back and tells Azimio she is better than him, and then she slaps him. Like, it freaking rang through the place."

"Good for her," Mike says approvingly. "Azimio's a pig."

Sam nods, staring into space. "Yeah, he is."

"Maybe you should try talking to her," Artie suggests. "Just ask about what's going on with her."

Sam sighs. "Nothing's going on with her, and that's the whole point. She just… she used me, and I have to accept that and move on."

He gets up and picks up his tray. "I gotta bounce, dudes. My mom wants me to take my sister to her ballet recital tonight, so I've gotta go."

"But it's only three o'clock," Artie points out.

Sam shrugs. "I gotta go," he repeats.

Artie and Mike say goodbye, and then Sam leaves, wondering why he came to the mall in the first place. Now he's just even more confused about his feelings for Santana than ever. If she likes him, then why doesn't she just say so? Why does she keep jerking him around?

He's experienced heartbreak twice in one week. This can only mean one thing.

Girls suck.

"Who will bring me flowers when it's over?
And who will give me comfort when it's cold?
And who will I belong to when the day just won't give in?
And who will tell me how it ends and how it all begins?
Don't ever say goodbye.

And I'm only human.
I'm only human."
(x)
"Flowers for a Ghost" ; Thriving Ivory

Okay, so girls don't really suck. Sam just thinks so. ;) Will he eventually be proven wrong? Well, I guess you'll just have to tune in and see. ;D

Oh, and I lovelovelove Darren Criss (Starkid since '09, baby! ;D) but I find Blaine suuuuper hard to write, for whatever reasons. Hmmm.

And before my Quick readers kill me, hold on: I just figured last chapter, Quinn would have viewed that as showing weakness, and she still needs to be strong, and she's conflicted about Puck. She doesn't want to need him. But, at the same time, she does. I hope that makes sense. XD (And don't worry, I have good stuff in store for them. ;))

The superbowl ep was pretty amazing! But
POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT
I hate Finn/Quinn. I love Quinn, and I love Finn, but I hate them together. So if they get back together, I might just have to hunt down the writers. And trust me, it won't be pretty. Plus Finn will just be a huge hypocrite. Hello? Break up with Rachel for cheating and then get back together with Quinn who a) cheated and got pregnant and b) lied about it.

Anyways, I hope you can find somewhere in your hearts the love to review! ;)