Chapter six

The engine purred as we drove down the high way, Cat kept looking at me as I drove; she had a cheeky expression on her face her brown eyes still looked heavy but had a hint of mischief in them.

"What?" I asked, looking at Cat briefly.

"You still love him" she teased prodding me playfully in the arm, I rolled my eyes.

"No…" I started "Yes… I don't know it's complicated" I admitted looking at her once more, I turned my head back to the straight road we were driving on, I had the windows rolled down, so the wind would blow through the car and cool it down, I had tried at to have the AC on but all that did was blow the hot air around the small area making it heavy and even worse to drive in.

"Explain how it's complicated, you still love him and he still loves you" she said smiling as she spoke. I shook my head and chewed on my tongue, she was right; I did still have feelings for him

"Yeah I have feelings for him but, I don't think I would say I'm in love with him still" I confessed "And there's a difference"

"There's a difference?" she pressed I could see that this was going to be a losing battle, I could see that she didn't understand, yet I still tried to make her see

"Yeah, you can love someone and not be in love with them… And I do love Beck, I won't lie about it but I'm not in love with him anymore" I looked at her and sighed shrugging my shoulders "That's just the way it is"

"So you're telling me you wouldn't take him back?" she questioned her eyes cutting into deep into me, making me speak to her.

"I don't know, okay, I gave him the ultimatum I said if you don't open the door after ten seconds, I'm gone, and he didn't open the door. Therefore we both called it quits, I don't know what I would do if he wanted me back. But seen as though it's obvious he doesn't want me back I think we should just leave it"

"I think you do know, but I just think you're too scared to admit it, because you think it's a sign of weakness. Well it's not okay, it's understandable" I couldn't believe she was pressing this situation so much.

"Do you really want to know why I find it so complicated and why I don't know if I would take him back?" I asked, my tone of voice getting angrier as the conversation continued, I hated being mad at Cat, so I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Yes" she said nodding.

"It's because he tried kissing Tori, the night of the platinum awards" I admitted doing this made my heart ache "But, Tori stopped him and rejected it, because of me" I shrugged.

"How do you know?" she asked, sounding sad and regretful that she ever brought up this conversation.

"I saw them on the webcam, yours and Tori's video chat was still running, I went to your laptop to close it down and I saw it" I swallowed hard when I said this, I had told no one what I had seen, Cat was now the only one other than me who knew "And that's why I didn't perform at the awards, I let Tori do it because she did something for me" I gave her a weak smile, before going back to my normal exterior "But if you tell anyone Cat I swear down I'll get you" she nodded her head in understanding.

"I won't tell anyone I promise" she sounded legitimately sad she had made me talk about it.

"Let's just forget about it now okay?" she nodded once more, and I knew that the conversation was over.

We drove in silence until we got to Cat's house, she jumped out of the car, got her bags and walked to the door, she used her elbow to push down the door handle and pushed it with her hip to open it, no luck, she tried again and again, but it didn't budge.

"Jade!" she called over to me "Can you grab my bags while I get my key the door's locked!" she looked at me and pushed out her bottom lip jokingly; I sighed and sauntered over to her.

I grabbed her bags hanging them over my arms and shoulders, rummaged around in her purse looking for her house key, once she had unlocked the door she walked into the house leaving me with her bags, giving me no choice but to follow her into the house.

Next to the phone by the door was a small note that read.

Hey, honey

Just letting you know that me, your dad and Tony have all gone to grandmas and won't be back for about two weeks, hope you'll be okay, there's money in the cupboard in the corner
lots of love mom xxx

She sighed and sat down on the sofa looking at me with a sad expression on her face.

"What?" I groaned.

"Do you mind staying with me for a while, I don't want to be left alone" she admitted her eyes were wide with wondering they looked enormous on her small face.

"Fine" I sighed "Let me just get my bag and text my mom okay?" She nodded, I walked to my car grabbing my things, walking back into Cat's house and dumping my bags on top of hers I pulled my phone from my pocket and wrote.

Hey, mom
I and Cat have decided to come home earlier from camping we got really bored but I am going to stay at Cat's for a few days because her mom and dad and brother are away for a while
I hit the send button and joined Cat and the sofa.

"Thank you" she said giving me a smile.

"No it's fine, I don't mind" I admitted, I didn't really want to leave Cat alone either, not after last night. I stood and walked into her kitchen, raiding the fridge as I had many times me before, I pulled out a can of Coke.

I walked back into the room and sat beside her on the sofa I picked up the remote to see if there was anything worth watching, highly doubtful with it being the day.

"Day time TV sucks" I said opening my drink, tiny bubbles bounced out of the top of it as the pressure was released, the can was cold in my hands and I had to put it on the coffee table in front of us because the condensation was rubbing off on to my hand, making my palm wet. Cat and I sat quietly, watching some woman on TV shouting about how she was 100% sure her current boyfriend was 'The baby daddy'.

The woman on TV must have been no older than Cat and I but there were about three people that the dad could be "What ever happened to just on guy on girl in a relationship?"

She gave a small shrug "I don't know… But she might not have been in a relationship" Cat said.

"Yeah but either way why not use protection… I know it's not 100% effective but it's safer than using nothing" I said, it was quite laughable really the situation on the TV, they were all sat screaming at each other, I had changed my mind about day time TV, when there was things like this on it was the best thing ever.