Eternal Sunshine

Chapter 6: Your Favorite Flower

Samara made her way in to the Auror office, wearing a visitors badge on her Healer robes as she looked around wondering where Eric was. "Wotcher Sam," Samara looked up and smiled as she looked at Tonks. "What are you doing here?" Tonks asked after Samara gave her a polite hello. Most people wondered how the two very different girls could possibly be friends, however, Samara nor Tonks particularly cared for the differences between them, vast though they were.

"I need to talk to Eric about tonight," Samara replied as she looked around once more, while Tonks nodded at this knowingly. Samara hated looking for Eric in the Auror office, it was impossible as all the cubicles looked alike. She recognized that she could have just sent him a note, telling him that she would be unable to join him for dinner as they had planned with her family, however, considering how much he was looking forward to it, she thought it best to deliver the message in person. "You know we had an important dinner planned tonight and I thought that I should tell him that I can't make it in person," Samara further explained as her hazel eyes scanned the nearest cubicles.

Eric had never met her family before and seeing as they were planning to get married, he needed to meet them. Eric didn't quite understand why Samara was so reluctant about him meeting her family, however, he understood that she had always been very private about her home life. He was consoled by the fact that her mother and siblings were aware that she was in a relationship with him and that they were now engaged. Samara had told Eric that her mother had wanted to meet him for quite some time, however, the time had never seemed quite right as they were always so busy.

"That's a shame," Tonks said, thinking about the Order meeting that had been called for that evening, the reason that Samara was not going to be able to make it to the dinner. "Come on, I'll walk you to his cubicle," Tonks said as she whirled around, tripped on her robes and would have fallen on her face had not Samara snatched up her arm. "Thanks," Tonks muttered, her face turning as pink as her pastel pink curls. Samara merely shook her head and smiled at Tonks as she followed her to the cubicle.

Samara smiled fondly as she watched Eric sitting with his back to them, his feet up on his desk while he dictated something to his quill. "Oy, Williamson, got you a present," Tonks said loudly, causing Eric to nearly fall out of his chair as he wheeled around to see who was there. His face suddenly broke into a broad grin as he stared at Samara and rushing up to her and hugging her tightly. "Get a room," Tonks said as she walked away.

"What are you doing here, love?" Eric said as he pulled away and looked down at Samara's face while beaming. Samara felt an awful twinge of guilt in her stomach to see how happy he was and how she was about to crush that happiness. While it was not her fault that she had an Order meeting to attend, she couldn't say that she was not relieved that Eric would not be able to meet her family that evening. It wasn't that she was ashamed of her family or what it was like growing up with them, because she knew Eric wouldn't ask too many questions and her mother would never reveal what they went through; however, there was just something that did not want the two to mix. Almost as though she thought that if anyone knew of her family, the whole world would. She knew that Eric wasn't indiscreet, however the thought of him telling anyone at all, even people he considered friends like Tonks, or his boss about her family made her feel nauseous.

However, that wasn't the only reason that she felt slightly guilty. The truth was, the thought of seeing Severus for the first time in about a fortnight kept bringing up butterflies in her stomach. She didn't understand or know why, but the thought of seeing him again made her heart thunder and she found that she had actually missed him though she could not comprehend why. She supposed it was simply because she knew that anything that she ever told him would never go beyond that. Severus wasn't exactly the social type and she felt free around him because he already seemed to know more about her than anyone else, including the darkness surrounding her family.

"Its my lunch break and there is something that I need to tell you and I thought it was best I break the news to you in person," Samara said gently as she looked up into his eyes. Eric furrowed his brow at this, a small grimace twisting his mouth as his heart sank into the pit of his stomach telling him he was in for some disappointment.

"What is it?" he asked apprehensively, pulling slightly away from Samara.

"Dinner will have to be called off tonight, Eric. I'm so sorry," she added as she watched the way his shoulders sagged slightly. "Its just that we are understaffed on our floor today and we will be this evening and I need to stay much later... I'm very sorry Eric, but dinner this evening will just be impossible," Samara lied as she stared into his brown eyes. She hated the way that it was so easy to lie to him, how she could do it without giving any signs away that she was lying and doing it without remorse. It made her certain that Eric deserved so much more than her, any man would.

"It's all right Samara, its not your fault," Eric said, running his hands through her hair and placing a kiss on her forehead, though his beaming smile was completely gone and his tone was one of defeated resignation. Samara grimaced as she wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tightly, resting her head in his shoulder. She didn't comprehend she didn't love this man more than she did. She felt that he deserved the world and for some reason, all he wanted was her and she couldn't really give that to him.

"I promise to come home to you as soon as I can," Samara said into his chest.

"I look forward to that," Eric said with a small smile as she pulled away and looked up into his eyes. "We'll see when we set up the dinner once more, hopefully soon," Eric said as he bent his head down and placed a kiss on Samara's lips. Samara nodded into his kiss, while wondering why she didn't see fireworks when they kissed or feel all tingly in her stomach when they did. While she did very much enjoy his kisses, she found that it was much more of just a physical thing than anything sentimental or romantic.

"I will see you later then, my lunch break is almost over and I really need to make it back to the hospital," Samara said as she gave Eric another peck.

"All right, sweetie," Eric said as he bent down and placed another kiss on her lips, relishing in the way that she took his bottom lip between hers and nipped him softly, thinking she should give him a reward for disappointing him.

"Try not to tire yourself too much today," Samara said as she walked away and gave him a teasing smile and a small wink. Eric felt his cheeks flush as he nodded obediently, watching as the dark haired girl spun on her heel and graciously walked out of the Department, her hair fanning out behind her as she turned. Eric groaned as he sat back down at his desk, thinking that it would now be a much longer day as he was looking forward to nightfall much more now.

--

"You know, I thought that Eric would be mightily disappointed about the fact that you were canceling your dinner tonight, but he seemed rather upbeat all day," Tonks said as she watched Samara as the meeting at last came to an end. Samara merely smiled enigmatically, as Remus and Sirius walked over, not allowing her to respond to Tonks. Not that she was planning to either way.

Ignoring the conversation that was ensuing between Tonks, Sirius and Remus about Hogwarts and the way that Dolores Umbridge and the Ministry were trying to undermine Dumbledore's authority at Hogwarts, Samara found her eyes wandering over to Severus where her eyes had constantly strayed, and occasionally clashed with an intense pair of black orbs, throughout the evening. She watched him as he had a heavy discussion with Albus Dumbledore near the Kitchen's door.

"What house were you in Samara?" Samara suddenly turned away from what she was looking at and looked a little startled at Remus. All three of them were staring at her and she wondered what she had missed while they were speaking.

"Slytherin," Tonks answered for her. Samara watched as Remus and Sirius reacted to this. While Remus seemed very surprised, his surprise wasn't marked with what looked like suspicion and mild disapproval like Sirius'. She gazed at them, wondering why it bothered them so. She understood that they had been in Gryffindor and understood the whole House rivalry, however, she didn't think that they should stare at her in such a way.

"But you are so nice and normal," Sirius said as he looked at her. Samara narrowed her eyes on Sirius, feeling insulted. Straightening up her back, she stared at him in such a way that despite the fact that he was taller than Samara, made him suddenly feel so much smaller than her.

"Yes when the sorting hat was placed on my head it had a bit of trouble placing me, however, I thought that Slytherin suited me well," Samara said as she looked at him with a cold smile fixed on her face.

"Samara, a word," Samara turned slightly and was surprised to see Severus had walked up besides her. He hardly seemed to move his mouth when he spoke and he looked very displeased and Samara hoped that it was because of her current company and had nothing to do with her as she nodded in response to him. Excusing herself as politely as she could she turned and followed Severus, who was already walking away and out of the kitchen. Following along in silence, she followed him up the stairs and out of Grimmauld. Once they were out in the cool air, Severus turned to her. "Professor Dumbledore thinks that it may be prudent now that I am teaching at Hogwarts that you are acquainted with my private quarters should an event ever arise were you must reach me there. While I find this pointless and do not see such an occasion ever arising...Headmasters orders," Severus said tersely, speaking in a low and murderous tone.

Samara merely nodded as she stared up at him her heart panging at the cold way that he was speaking to her or the way that he was refusing to look at her. However, Severus was in as much pain as she was. He felt that in the two weeks that had jus passed, he had missed her more terribly than he had missed her before she came back into his life and he couldn't comprehend it. He knew that more than anything he needed that distance, but he craved her more than all else.

"Shall we meet at Hogwarts gates?" Samara asked as she looked up at him. He barely even seemed to nod at her before dissapparating with a pop, leaving Samara to follow suit. As Samara turned around she felt herself inhale sharply to see the gates of Hogwarts. She had not been to the school since she left it, and as she stared at the gates, she felt a rush of memories come to her, one in particularly sticking out that she did not recall. She didn't ever recall wearing a gypsy costume and walking to the castle with Timothy, Nate, Ethan and Bill. However, as the bit of memory rushed past her, she felt very shaky.

Staring at the gates, she felt her eyes go through the process of walking back to the castle, which was they arrived seemed considerably empty. She watched briefly as Severus snapped at her and Bill to get to their dorms and turning to go up the staircase with him as Severus and the three other Slytherins headed down towards the dungeons. She assumed than that it was her seventh year, when she had been Head Girl. It wasn't something she recalled but she remembered Eric telling her of.

"Are you all right Samara?" Bill's voice seemed to drift to her from somewhere far away, like some echo inside of her head, bouncing off the insides of her scull. However, she stayed frozen as she heard herself respond that she was all right as she and Bill proceeded to head up the stairs, feeling strangely hollow inside. "Are you sure Samara? I'm sorry he said such terrible things about you," Bill said as they passed the fourth floor on paused on the fifth.

"He was drunk Bill, he didn't know what he was saying. He'll feel terrible about it in the morning," Samara said in defense of Timothy Elias. "Good night Bill, and thank you for stranding up for me," Samara said as she bowed her head and disappeared down the fifth floor corridor.

Samara shook her head and rubbed her eyes as she stared at Severus, who had stopped beyond the gates and turned to look at her. "Are you all right, Samara?" Severus asked as he looked at her. Samara merely nodded as she walked up to where he stood, not looking up at him as she thought about what she has just recovered. She was quite sure that it was in her seventh year, because she had no previous recollection of that, however, she didn't quite understand what that was about.

Severus merely nodded at this as he turned and flicked his wand at the gates, causing them to close behind them with a soft clang. Turning around, he started his trek back to the castle, thinking about the way Samara must have suddenly frozen at the sight of the gates. He had thought that she was followed him through them, however, when he did not hear her walking beside him, he began to wonder as to whether or not she was. When he turned, he was slightly surprised to see that she was still standing there, merely staring at the gates with a look of mild confusion crossing her features.

"Perhaps we should disillusion you," Severus suddenly said as he caught the first glimpse of the castle beyond the trees and turned to look at Samara. However, he was taken aback to see that she was standing still once more, staring at the gates.

This time, it was a completely different memory that had frozen Samara at the gate. Flashes of a carriage ride from Hogwarts down to the gates flashed before her eyes. She could see herself in a carriage with a few other seventh years and she was looking out the window to see the approaching gates, only to turn back and give the castle a last longing look. However, this mundane memory was not at all what pained her. There was something about the memory that made her feel a crippling amount of pain, the likes of which she had never before experienced. The mere shadow of the memory caused tears to sprout in her eyes, and she wondered why she had been in so much pain when she had left the castle that last time. Was it simply because she was leaving behind the castle, her refuge? Or was she leaving behind something else?

Her heart clenched painfully as she caught a last glimpse inside the carriage, looking at another pair of girls laughing and being merry. It felt like their happiness was mocking her and she desired to be alone. She was having a hard time to keep herself from crying, but despite the fact that Samara could remember how she felt, she didn't know why she felt that way.

"Samara." Turning around Samara smiled at Severs before reaching up with her wand and lightly tapping her head. Immediately she felt the slightly unpleasant feeling of the Disillusionment spell washing over her, making her a human chameleon. "Are you sure you are all right Samara?" Severus asked with mild concern as he looked at the bleary patch that moved and shifted.

"Yes, I'm fine," Samara replied, trying to sound bright. Severus merely nodded as he turned, however, before he took another step, he turned around.

"I would like to know that you are following me," he said as he looked at her. He didn't want her to stop following him when she stopped and him not noticing because she was disillusioned. In response to this, she weaved her arm through his and held onto his elbow, putting the slightest of pressure on it.

Severus felt his heart quicken at this, however merely turned away and walked up to the castle, feeling Samara at his side as he walked. While Samara's heart fluttered inside her chest, she thought that there was something extremely familiar and right about this. She wondered at how perfectly her arm seemed to loop through his and how natural it felt, like she was supposed to be there at his side.

Blinking these thoughts away, Samara turned her attention to their walk and stared silently as the castle looked closer and closer. She gasped and smiled as she stared at the castle, its many windows shining like gold against the black velvet of the night sky. She stared up at she walked at the many towers and the impressive side of her beloved school. "It has been such a long time since I have seen Hogwarts," Samara said as she stared up at the castle in amazement.

Severus merely nodded as this as they stepped up into the empty Entrance Hall and he lead her down the dungeons. Samara felt such a rush of memories, many of which she was already familiar with and as she looked around the oh so familiar Hall and as peaked inside the Great Hall, she wondered where all the students where. She supposed that as it was nearly curfew, that they were already in their respective Houses.

However, as they descended into the dungeons and branched away from Slytherin, she found that there was something familiar about the steps that they were tracing. Almost as though she had walked this way many times before, though she didn't remember the passage at all. However, it made her heart thunder much harder against her ribs and she was afraid that it might just break one and pop out through her flesh.

As they stopped before a patch of stone wall, Samara looked over at Severus. She remembered quite well that the entrance to Slytherin was much like this one, however as she stared at the stone before her, she wondered how she had known that this was it. Like she had been there before. "Dahlia," he said, causing the door to slide open and motioning for Samara to step through, which she immediately did and disillusioned herself, turning to look around the room. Her mind immediately flashed to the dreams she was having where she was curled up with her head in Severus' lap and as she stared at the room she wondered how she had dreamed of this room to smallest, exact detail.

"Dahlia?" she asked as she turned to look at him, trying to force away the overwhelming sense of confusion that she felt. She needed a reprieve, however, found herself thinking back to the dream of a beautiful garden and staring at a large, colorful flower and the distant voice of Severus, echoing in her head. "It's your favorite flower," she said before he could answer as she fell heavily on the couch.

Severus stared at Samara, wondering how it was that she knew that and wondering if she was all right. She had been acting strangely from the moment that she had apparated to Hogwarts, and as he stared at her, he felt worried that she wasn't feeling well as she buried her head in her hands and held her head together, as though she was trying to keep it from splitting open. "How did you know?" Severus found himself asking as he steadily approached her where she sat. Samara merely shook her head in response.

It seemed to Severus that perhaps being back to Hogwarts was a little too much for Samara. He could think of no other place that was more impregnated with all their memories than Hogwarts. Staring down at her, he wondered whether or not she was remembering more than she wanted to, or if it was that painfully confusing. However, Severus merely stood stock still, watching her; almost as though he feared to make any sudden movements around her, fearing that she would suddenly remember and lash out against him for what he put her through all those years ago.

"Did we know each other in a past life?" Samara said as she looked up at him with a teasing smile, her eyes sparkling strangely. Severus furrowed his brow as he watched her slowly get to her feet. "I think I know you," Samara said, causing him confusion as she stepped closer. There was something strange about her eyes that almost frightened him as she walked nearer, and he wanted to pull away, but found himself rooted to the spot. "Severus... its almost as though we were close at one point, more than any two people could be," Samara said as her heart thundered in her chest as she looked up into his eyes. She didn't know how she could speak so calmly despite the way her heart thundered, however, the fact that he stood so transfixed gave her courage. "I don't understand how that can be... but I feel like, I can't be anyone else's but yours," Samara said as she slowly and gently reached up to touch his face.

Severus inhaled sharply at the contact of her skin on his and felt his eyes close and his head lean into her touch. He didn't know why he could not control himself, or why he could do nothing to resist her. It was almost as though once more whatever magical hold she had over him all those years ago was suddenly trapping him once more in its grasp, bending him to her will no matter how much he wished to resist. "Samara you are free," Severus said as he opened his eyes and slowly turned away from her touch which tortured him with memories of their past.

Samara shook her head. "My heart doesn't thunder like this for Eric," Samara said as she took Severus hand with her free one and placed it on the puling artery on her neck. "I don't feel like I'm burning inside when he looks at me, my insides don't feel warm and fuzzy when I'm around him," Samara said as she looked into his eyes. "Only with you and I don't care if I don't know why, but I feel more at peace with you."

"Samara you are just confused," Severus said, pulling his hand away from her soft neck and stepping away from her touch. "You will be happy when you get married and your life becomes more normal," Severus said as he looked at Samara, who suddenly looked like she had been struck and was snapping out of a spell.

"Even your rejection is familiar in a way I don't understand," Samara said, stepping away from him and looking at the ground. Her head was screaming at her, like she was on a precipice and telling her to take the final plunge, but she didn't know how. She wanted to, but she couldn't move. She was frozen, unable to step forward, dash into the unknown and reemerge enlightened and maybe broken. "I'm sorry, I have to go," Samara said, looking up and feeling like she needed to get away.

Severus didn't say anything as Samara headed towards the door and disappeared into the castle. Sighing heavily, he sat down on the couch and wondered what on earth was going on as he buried his head in his hands. However, as he closed his eyes, he found that he wasn't thinking about the strange scene that had just occurred. Instead, he was thinking about Samara and where she in all probability was heading. She was going to him. She was going back to his arms.

--

"I'm sorry I'm so late," Samara sighed unhappily when she walked into Eric's bedroom. She had left Severus, but she hadn't been able to leave Hogwarts. Instead, she found herself wandering around it for hours, stealthily avoiding any awoken inhabitants and trying to jog her memory. However, it didn't matter if she was wandering around for one hour, two, three or four, nothing came and nothing would.

Eric looked up from the documents he was working on in bed and grimaced slightly to see how tired Samara looked. "Its all right. Long day huh?" he said as he set aside the papers on the nightstand and motioned for her to come closer. Samara merely nodded in response as she sat down on the edge of the bed as Eric started to knead her shoulder muscles. "Its okay, you're home now," Eric said as he set Samara's shoulder length hair-lose of its pony-tail.

Turning around slowly, Samara stared into Eric's handsome face and into his beautiful brown eyes. "Eric... you're too good to me. More than I deserve," Samara said as she downcast her gaze in the shame of that evening. She knew she had always been impulsive, but to hit on her ex-head of house simply because she was loosing her mind seemed like a line she should have never crossed. In her opinion, it was the stupidest, most brash, impulsive thing she could ever remember doing and she hated herself for it.

"Samara, you know I forgive you for being a Slytherin," Eric teased as he looked at Samara. Samara smiled and shook her head.

"How do you always know the right thing to say to make me smile?" Samara asked as she looked back up into his wonderful brown eyes and ran a hair through his straight brown hair.

"Because I love you and I want nothing more than your resplendent happiness," he replied as he leaned in and placed a kiss on Samara's lips. Tugging on his hair, Samara pulled Eric away and smiled at him, ignoring the sharp pain in her heart that she did not feel as much love for him as he felt for her. However, she ignored this as she stared at his handsome face, which reserved the most gorgeous of smiles for her and smiled in return at him.

"You know, I saw Bill Weasley and your hair is much longer than his now. Does that mean you won the bet?" Samara asked. However, at the exact time the confused and excited look came into Eric's eyes, Samara frowned. She wasn't exactly sure she knew what she was talking about. Turning way, she furrowed her brow and found herself standing in that gypsy costume before Bill and teasing him about how long his hair was getting.

"Bill told me he told you about that bet, but I thought that was one of the many things you didn't remember," Eric said as he looked at Samara. Samara shook her head as she looked at him and smiled in a confused way.

"I didn't until now," Samara replied as she looked at him.

"That's excellent love," Eric said as he placed another kiss on Samara's lips. Samara smiled into his kiss, however, her stomach churned in unpleasantness. It seemed that since her memory started to return, every one she recovered, seemed to pull her farther and farther away from Eric.

TBC...

A/n: Well I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. There is more excitement to come in the next chapter, however, you'll have to wait for it. Sorry. But as always please review.