I'm glad to see that there are people who like this story! Fair warning, this song will be a LOT like the one in the movie (with a few alterations). WARNING: MILD ADULT HUMOR IN UPCOMING LYRICS!
Chapter 6: Fixer Upper!
To say that Stephanie wasn't feeling well would be an understatement. She was feeling terrible. She drooped more and more with every step, she was perspiring on every part of her body, and her chest was flushed with an intense heated feeling. Jon could see how troubled she was, and he felt helpless. Fortunately, the group came upon a watery part of the forest they were traveling through.
"Here," he motioned to her, "this'll cool you off." He led her to a small pool and she rubbed the cool water on her face, arms, and legs.
"That's better…" she said, and they continued on. Jon began to show discomfort as he continued to talk to Stephanie.
"Now… about my friends… I call them 'friends' but, they're more like family. See, when I was a kid and all I had was Sasha, they sorta took us in."
"They did?" Stephanie asked, thinking that was the sweetest thing she had ever heard.
"I don't want to scare you," he went on nervously, "they can be kinda… rude, and… inappropriate… and loud… I mean like, really, really loud. Also judgmental, and pushy, and heavy, and-"
"Jon," She cut in reassuringly, "they sound wonderful. I can't wait to meet them."
"Alright," he spread out his arms showing a large grouping of willow trees and bushes but there didn't seem to be any people, "meet my family!" Jon and Sasha began to walk up to each and every individual tree and give a small greeting to each, all while Stephanie and Lucy looked mortified and confused at the same time.
"He's craaaaazaaaaaay!" Lucy whispered to Stephanie, "I'll distract him while you run!" The fiery puppy walked up to a bush and pretended to interact with it while also talking to Stephanie. "HI, SASHA'S FAMILY! IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU! Because I love you, Stephanie, I insist that you run. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE LOVE EXPERTS! OOH! Why aren't you running?!"
At last, Stephanie took Lucy's words seriously and began to walk away. But to her surprise, the trees and bushes began to uproot and move towards the tall blacksmith. Their branches took the shape of arms, their trunks became legs, their leaves and flora resembled hair, and finally, facial patterns appeared, and they looked rather happy!
"Jonny's home!" they all cheered and crowded Jon while he tried to talk.
"It's nice to see you all, but we have a problem," he managed, "where's Mamica?"
"She's napping," one of the bushes answered, "but look: I have knots!"
"I grew twigs!" another cut in. The children began to playfully bombard Jon with evidence that they were growing up before the princess finally spoke over her excitement.
"Nymphs… they're nymphs!" all eyes landed on Stephanie and paused. Then suddenly, a female nymph burst into hysterical joy, "AND HE'S BROUGHT A GIRL!" soon all of the other nymphs cheered and brought her closer to Jon. The same nymph began to examine her as though she were cattle at an auction, "Let me look at her: ooh, bright eyes, clean nose, strong teeth! Yes! Yes! She's perfect for our Jonny!" at that notion, Stephanie tried to explain while hiding her blushing cheeks.
"Oh, no! No! I'm not- I mean- we aren't- you see- it isn't like that!"
"Then what is it like, dear? Why're you holding back from such a man?!" she asked inquisitively and everyone else began to join in, while unwittingly embarrassing Jon.
Is it the clumpy way he walks
Or the grumpy way he talks
Or the odd sharp shaped shoes on his feet?
"Wait, what?" Jon asked.
And although he washes well
He always has a smelly smell
But you'll never met a boy
Who's as sensitive and sweet!
"That's nice," Stephanie cut in, "But-" the nymphs ignored her and began to dance around.
So, he's a bit of a fixer upper
So, he's got a couple of flaws
But his peculiar brain
And dislike of rain
Are not above nature's laws
So, he's a bit of a fixer upper,
But this we're certain of
You can fix this fixer upper with a little bit of love!
"This is not about me! Stephanie's in trouble! We have a real problem here!" Jon cut in. "I'll say," the nymph continued, "So tell me, dear:"
Is it the way that he runs scared
Or that he's socially impaired
Or that he only likes to tinkle in the woods?
"I did not need to know that." Stephanie blushed.
Are you holding back your fondness
Due to his un-manly blondness
Or that covers up his honest goods?
So, he's a bit of a fixer upper,
But we know what to do,
The way to fix this fixer upper
Is to fix him up with you!
The female nymphs took Stephanie while the male nymphs prepared to primp up Jon. Frustrated, Jon yelled out, "Stop it, stop it, stop it, ENOUGH! She's already engaged to someone else, okay?!" The male nymphs looked at him with a surprised expression, then formed a huddle.
So, she's a bit of a fixer upper
That's a minor thing
Her so-called engagement
Is a flex arrangement
And by the way, I don't see a ring!
The nymphs covered Jon with a suit and crown made of twigs and leaves, much to the blacksmith's chagrin.
So, she's a bit of a fixer upper
So, she's got a light head
Get the fiancé out of the way
And you'll get her in bed!
Meanwhile, Stephanie was having a less embarrassing time as the female nymphs covered her tarnished clothes with a grass skirt and twig crown of her own.
We're not asking you to change him
'Cause people don't really change
All we're saying is love's the force
That's magical and strange
Men can make bad choices
When they're mad, or scared, or stressed
But throw a little love their way
And you'll bring out the best
Finally, Jon and Stephanie were led under a flourished gazebo where they both actually thought each other looked good in their grass clothing.
Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper
But that's what life's about
Father!
Mother!
Sister!
Brother!
We need each other
To root us down
And round us out!
Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper
But when push comes to shove
Lucy slid in and began to join in the singing, while apparently having the time of her life.
The only fixer upper fixer
That can fix a fixer upper is
True! True!
True! True! True love!
Love! Love!
Love! Love!
Truuuuuuuuuue!
The nymph in the gazebo held up a rock with a few leaves on it to act as a makeshift Bible and began to speak, "Do you, Stephanie, take Jon to be your lawfully wedded-"
"Wait, what?" Stephanie came back to her senses, realizing the fun was over.
"You're getting married." The priest nymph said. Stephanie collapsed, her pain had finally overwhelmed her. Jon held her in her arms as an elderly nymph approached them.
"Mamica, thank God!" Jon handed Stephanie over to the old widow tree, "Can you help her?"
"Oh, no," Mamica looked Stephanie in the eyes, "Stephanie, there is a fire burning in your heart! If it is not extinguished, your heart and body will turn to coal." Stephanie, Jon, and everyone else were taken aback by the magical tree's words.
"But, you can heal her, right?" Jon asked desperately.
"I cannot," the nymph said disappointed, "I'm sorry, Jonathan. If it were any other part of her body that would be easy but… only an act of true love can heal a blackened heart."
Jon realized what that meant, he called Sasha to him and helped Stephanie get comfortable.
"Come on, Lucy!" he called, "we have to get her to Markus!"
"Alright!" the flame dog jumped onto the sled wolf's back, "Let's go kiss Markus!... who is this Markus?"
Later, Jon held Stephanie tightly to his body as Sasha ran across the town. Citizens could have sworn they saw the princess if they weren't suffering from the extreme heat. Lucy fell off of Sasha, yet no one noticed as she hollered at Jon that she'd meet them back at the castle. At last, Jon was at the gates to the castle, he handed Stephanie to the guards, instructed them to get her to Prince Markus, then solemnly left her to her own fate.
Inside, Stephanie was greeted by Markus. He led her to her room and laid her on the bed. She knew he was the one, just when she needed him, he is here, saving her life! She explained what happened as best she could before she got to recent events.
"I thought you said Nikolai would never hurt you?" Markus asked.
"I was wrong," Stephanie continued, "I see now that he is a monster. I should have known after how he treated you. Because now, only an act of true love can help me."
"A true love's kiss!" Markus exclaimed. Stephanie closed her eyes and waited for Markus to press his lips against hers. But instead, she felt his hand lightly pat on her cheek as he gave a throaty chuckle.
"Oh, Stephanie," he mused, "If only someone loved you."
Stephanie opened her eyes. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. How could he have said such a thing? "You said you did."
"Oh, I've said a lot of things," he began, "as fifteenth in line to the throne, I knew I didn't stand a chance of becoming King of the Eastern Dunes. I mean, all fourteen of my sisters dying while I live would most likely raise suspicion. So, I figured that I would have to marry into it somewhere else." He pushed Stephanie off of the bed, making her yelp in pain. "As heir to the throne, Nikolai was the first choice, but then at the party I saw how he drooled over that private, so, I'd get nowhere with him. But you? You were so desperate for love, you were willing to get married just like that! After our wedding, I'd have to stage a little accident for Nikolai. But he doomed himself, and you were stupid enough to go after him. Now all that's left is for me to kill Nikolai, and make the fires go away."
Anger flooded Stephanie's heart. This must be what Nikolai felt when she yelled at him at the ball and when she tried to make him put the gloves back on… this was betrayal. "Nikolai was right about you. You're no match for him."
"No," Markus laughed, "you're no match for him." Stephanie saw Markus leave. And when she was certain that he was gone, she allowed herself to cry.
In the grand dining room, Markus approached a chair and began to weep. The Duchess of Netabathe and Captain Newsome approached Markus and listened as he explained that after giving each other their vows, Stephanie died in Markus' arms. He declared Nikolai a murderer and sentenced him to death. Peyton overheard all of this.
As Brooklan's royal guard and the prince made their way to Nikolai's cell, Peyton was forced to follow. She cried knowing what would soon follow, she would be forced to watch her true love be killed. But to the group's astonishment, the cell's wall was burst open and melted chains lay on the floor. Markus instructed Newsome to take the guards and go look in one direction, while he went another. Newsome had the guards disperse, but Peyton followed the captain.
On the road back to the isle, Sasha stopped Jon.
"What?" he asked. Sasha snarled furiously in a vain attempt to communicate. "You know I don't understand you when you talk like that." Sasha bit the scruff of Jon's coat and flung him to the ground. Then pointed towards the castle. "No!" he snapped, "We're not going back! Look, she's with her true love." Sasha could only give him a look of pure annoyance. Jon was about to move forward when he noticed that the flames were growing dangerously bigger. Only a single thought came into his mind: Stephanie needs help. He jumped on Sasha's back and they raced to the kingdom.
Meanwhile, back in Stephanie's room, a small hole began to burn through the door. Finally, Lucy had made her way inside. She was shocked to see Stephanie in so much pain, fortunately, she noticed the bathroom. She ran inside and turned the cold water faucet all the way on. Stephanie warned the puppy to get away from the tub, but the bon fire dog just looked at the water lovingly.
"Wow," she breathed, "so this is water. I love it." She brought Stephanie to the tub and the princess began to pat water on her face to break her fever.
"So, where's Markus?" Lucy asked, "What happened to your kiss?"
"I was wrong about him." Stephanie whimpered, "Please, Lucy, you can't stay here, the water will extinguish you." But the dog wouldn't listen.
"I am not leaving this spot until we find another act of true love to save you!" suddenly, a splash of water dropped onto Lucy's arm and made a sizzling noise. "Do you have any ideas?" she asked desperately.
"No…" Stephanie admitted, "Nikolai was right, I don't even know what love is." Lucy placed a paw on Stephanie's shoulder and began to soothingly comfort her.
"That's okay," she started, "I do. Love is… well, it's when you put other people's needs before yours. Even if it hurts you. Like, how Nikolai shut himself away from the world for thirteen years to keep you safe. Or, how… like, how Jon brought you back to Markus and left forever."
Stephanie stopped crying and looked at the dog confused, "Jon… loves me?"
"Wow, you really don't know anything about love." Suddenly a gust of blazing wind burst the window open. Lucy rushed to shut it, when she noticed something in the distance. "Stephanie! It's Jon and Sasha! They're headed back this way!"
"They are?" Stephanie asked with shock and joy.
"Wow, he's really moving fast," Lucy continued, "I guess I was wrong. Looks like Jon doesn't love you enough to leave you behind."
Stephanie completely ignored Lucy's words and tried to get up. Lucy ran over to Stephanie and tried to make her stay by the bath.
"I need to get to Jon." Stephanie explained.
"Why?" Lucy asked before Stephanie raised her eyebrows. "Oh! I know why! There's your act of true love right there! C'mon!" With that, the princess and flame dog made their way outside the castle to the path to the beach. Unfortunately, a horrible blaze storm was swirling around everything and everyone. Lucy was blown into the storm but demanded that Stephanie move on.
Meanwhile, Nikolai struggled to get back to the isle.
Up next: The End!