Metal Guru

...sunny california...socal...hitching a ride in the back of a pickup truck driving along the pch...the pacific coast highway...heading for zuma beach...truck has a decal on the side of the aerosmith band logo... an aircraft wheel attached to a bird's wing...so cool...wearing thong sandals and shorts and a halter top with no bra...no need...tiny things...not done growing yet...not that donny seems to mind...met at her 16th birthday party...handsome and smart and gets really good weed...kisses like an older dude but that's okay too...

THIS IS NOT REAL!

...whoa..what was that?...bump in the road maybe...thinking of changing her name...dropping the h and be just sara...sara like the fleetwood mac song...or was it bob seger?...hard to remember...but why when it was only yesterday she'd thought of it?...

JOHN NEEDS YOU!

...john?...does she know a john?...she knows plenty of johns working as a waitress at some dive until she gets her shit together enough to think about college...zuma!...finally...sand between her toes and the sun on her back and surf rollers breaking with white foam spume all along the beach...donny's friend lives around here someplace...roadie for santana...knows everybody in the biz...gonna get them backstage passes for the fillmore...stones in town...hang out with mick and keef...english rock stars with bad teeth and cool hair and the best drugs...

BEHIND YOU!

...clouds blocking the sun...late now...unseasonal chill in the air...can't find the roadie's house...tired and feet ache and no money and no food and omigod we're gonna have to sleep in the dunes... and something's there hiding in the sawgrass...can't see it but it's waiting for her and her alone...glint of something metallic...ghost of steve mcqueen's dune buggy!...afraid...very afraid and don't know why....

RUN!

...not the beach anymore...inside...some kinda factory...no...a foundry...steel mills and conveyors and fear in the pit of the stomach like something trying to eat her from the inside...something after her...gonna get her gonna get her good and proper if she doesn't go with him if she wants to live...no...no...no...no...don't let it kyle...please...the future's not set...the future's not set...

"Sarah, wake up. Sarah. SARAH!"

Sarah Connor blinked twice and sat up, groggy and disoriented. She was lying in a strange bed naked from the waist up as was the man next to her. She tugged the sheet up to her neck covering her breasts.

...tiny things...not done growing...

The tendrils of the dream drifted through her mind like hazy memories of a half-forgotten place. Her head hurt and bile rose in her throat. She brought her knees up under the sheet and hugged them to her body. It helped. A little.

I remember...

The tunnels. The future. Paulson and Cameron and the girl who looked like Cameron but was actually human...Alison Young her name...And John...John...oh God I love him so much...

The man beside her stared at her with concern etched on his young handsome face. Blond hair cut short just as she remembered.

Kyle...

A party. In the tunnels under LA, years in the future. Her future at least. The 21st birthday of someone she'd never met but toasted long and often anyway. The liquor she'd thought was white wine or some sort of cheap champagne actually hooch, moonshine made in the tunnel stills. At least 80 percent proof and no one had warned her.

"You were having a nightmare."

"Yeah...you could say that."

"Who's Donny?"

"Donny?"

"You were shouting his name in your sleep. Old boyfriend?"

"Uh - first boyfriend actually."

"What happened to him? Sounded like someone was after you."

Or something...

Donny had got together with Marcy, her roommate, not long after that ill-fated visit to Zuma Beach; they were always sharing things in those days - clothes, jewelry, the same bad taste in men - and really we had little in common anyway. Then the T-800 showed up looking for her and killed Donny and Marcy instead. The pair of them in bed when it happened. The start of it all. The end of her beginning...

Sarah told Kyle none of this. She shook her head.

"Haven't seen him in years. Uh - listen, this is probably a stupid question but did we...?"

Kyle grins. The years fall away. "Uh huh. We did. Am I that unmemorable?"

"No! It's just...I drank too much and my head aches and I'm so much older than you. I have a...son. He's close to your age, for goodness sake."

"You're not that much older. I've met John. He arrived before you. A good kid. And by the way you were the best looking woman at the party. I couldn't take my eyes off you. Believe me, you didn't need to twist my arm."

He leans in and kisses her. The years roll away some more. The motel... that night...their only night...

How can this be happening? Again. When she'd arrived in the tunnels she'd tried to keep her distance. Not let herself hope. Not let herself think anything would happen. She was so much older.

"Was that a quotation?"

"What?"

"The future's not set. You were yelling it out loud in your dream."

"Uh - no, someone I knew, once, a long time ago said it to me. Gave me hope when there didn't seem to be any hope left."

How can he not know? He told it to me himself. Over and over until I wanted him to stop. But not here. Not in this future. This future wasn't set. Everything's in flux. Everything's up for grabs. Am I brave enough to reach out..?

"I like it. The future's not set. We should paint it in huge letters on the side of the tunnels. If it gave you hope maybe it'll work on the rest of us."

"I should go. Get dressed at least."

"Why? It's only four in the morning. I'm sure Derek can hold the fort for a while longer. What else are big brother's for?" Kyle gently took the sheet from her unresisting fingers and lowered it down to the bed. "And besides, I think we still have some unfinished business, don't you?."

They did. Twice in fact.

-000-