Chapter six has been completed in the new style.
This is as close to a Mary Sue as I've ever published. And this is probably as far as I'll go.
I don't own any of the characters except my own. Yadda, Yadda, so don't sue my penniless self!
Chapter 6: Restless
I stood still, my shawl wrapped tightly around my shoulders to ward off the chill of the misty rain, and leaning heavily on my crutches. I had stood there for a long time, watching the knights bury Dagonet's body. I was trying to hold back my tears for Lucan, but the little boy was past caring about what anyone else did.
He only had eyes for the shrouded body, and now the dirt mound above it. He sniffled and Guinevere wrapped her arms more tightly around the boy's shoulders.
Gawain placed the treasured scroll into the box Tristan had claimed from the Bishop, then solemnly placed it on the top of the grave, near the head. The hilt of Dagonet's sword stuck out of the ground and formed a metal cross as a memorial to the life and sacrifice of a brave man.
There were many such memorials and mounds in the cemetery where the knights and the people Dagonet had helped rescue had gathered.
I suspected that more than a few of the swords represented people Gawain had known.
"Goodbye, old friend. We'll be along soon," he murmured as he straightened from placing the box.
"But not too soon, please, Father…" I prayed.
Everyone began to disperse. The people to start their new lives; Urelia and her son Alecto took Lucan back to the fort; Arthur, followed by Guinevere went deeper into the cemetery; and the knights slowly turned away, one-by-one, to plan their futures.
All, except one. Bors stayed where he was, looking down on his brother's grave, hugging a jug of wine to his chest and waiting for everyone else to leave.
Gawain folded me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. His grip was gentle, but I could feel his desperation, as if holding me was the only thing holding him together.
I had been feeling that way myself over the last few days. I slipped my arms around him. "I know," I whispered. "Come with me and rest for a bit while I make you some supper."
I felt him nod, then he scooped me into his arms and carried me away.
No one disturbed us for several hours. Gawain slept fitfully on the cot in the small room he had acquired for me, while I cooked supper.
When his dreams made him cry out and thrash in his sleep, I would kneel by his head and stroke his brow while humming softly and praying that he would find peace of mind and heart.
A gentle knock on the door drew me way from tending the cooking fire. I hobbled on the crutches to the door and opened it just enough to peek through.
Galahad stood outside looking uncomfortable. "May I speak with you, Bree?"
I nodded and grabbed my shawl off of it's peg. I struggled to drape it around my shoulders without dropping my crutches.
He reached out to help. "I owe you an apology. I thought you might be taking advantage of my brother's kind heart, but I have come to see that he truly needs you, so I just wanted to wish you both the best." He started to turn away.
"Galahad."
He stopped looked back over his shoulder at me, a darker version of the man I loved.
"He needs you too. I have some bread and soup almost ready. Please stay?"
He hesitated.
"He would appreciate hearing what you told me. I was just about to wake him. Stay. Have supper with us. Let us try to lift each others spirits."
He finally nodded his agreement and followed me inside.
I hung my shawl back up, then went to the hearth to check the food while Galahad walked over to wake Gawain.
After talking quietly for a few minutes, both men ate heartily.
"You wield herbs as skillfully in the kitchen as you do in the sick house." Gawain told me cheerfully.
"Thank you." I think I was blushing.
"If this is how your woman cooks, Brother, I may have to encroach on your hospitality for every meal until I find a woman of my own."
I laughed.
"That will be up to her, Galahad."
"I do not mind, you are always welcome at our fire."
Gawain drew me into his lap and looked deeply into my eyes. "Will you walk with me? I want to discuss the future."
I nodded and slipped off of his lap to ready myself.
"Stay as long as you like, Brother, we will be back soon."
Galahad grinned as Gawain picked up his cloak and draped it around his shoulders before helping me put on mine.
We were quiet in the evening chill.
I could tell he was taking shorter steps than he was used to so he would not out distance me on my crutches.
He finally broke the silence. "What were you shouting across the ice, Bree?"
I drew a deep, calming breath. "I was closing the door to the very last of my past and my family."
He gave me a curious look.
"I saw my brother, acting as guide and scout for the Saxons."
"What?!" Gawain stopped in his tracks forcing me to stop and look back at him.
"I do not know why, but he is helping them."
"Are you sure?" He stepped forward and clasped my shoulders earnestly. "Perhaps it was just someone who looked like him. You were pretty far away-"
"No, Gawain." I shook my head sadly. "It was him. He is dead to me. I am truly alone now." I covered my face with one hand and let the tears flow.
I felt Gawain wrap his arms around me. His embrace was warm and comforting. I sagged against him and let him support me until my tears were done.
We finally started walking again.
"Are you afraid of heights?"
I shook my head. "Not usually."
He grinned. "Walk the battlements with me?"
"Yes."
The guards didn't question our presence as we started to climb the stairs, but it was difficult going for me, so Gawain lifted me into his arms and carried me to the top. He set me back on my feet and we started walking around the fortress walls.
"The Romans are leaving Briton." he began. "This place will be cleared of all soldiers within few days. I do not intend to stay here, but neither do I intend to leave you alone. Will you come with me?"
"To where?"
He sat on the edge of the wall and looked into my eyes. "Anywhere…" he whispered. "We could go with Arthur to Rome if you wanted, or we could travel the world until we find a place with no Romans."
I bit her lower lip and nervously reached to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, but Gawain caught my hands.
"I will marry you as quickly as we may and I will do what I must to provide for you, even if I must learn to farm- You're trembling! Are you chilled up here in the night air?"
I shook my head as he was reaching to unclasp his cloak. "No, I am not cold. I am... Relieved. I am happy beyond expression."
His tone turned serious again. "Before you say yes, I have to tell you something. If we settle within the Roman Empire, any sons we have could be claimed as Sarmation knights when they come of age."
"The scrolls and all the talk of your 'freedom'. Is that what you mean?"
"Yes. It is a curse I would willingly break if I could. Our ancestors were great horsemen, and the only survivors of an army that tried to defend itself against the Romans. Because of their bravery, their lives were spared in return for each generation of boys serving the Empire for at least fifteen years. I had intended to return to my people and start a family - another generation to serve. But now, after Dagonet," he shook his head sadly. "I do not want to lose my sons the same as my father lost Galahad and me. I-"
A horn sounded in the distance and shouts from guards on the far side of the fortress.
We hurried as fast as I was able to see what had caused the alarm.
In the field before the enormous gates of Hadrian's Wall, bonfires had sprung up in the dark. The wind carried up the sounds of gruff voices speaking in a strange language.
"The Saxons." I whispered. "They moved more quickly than we thought they would."
"Send word to Arthur to come to the wall, and fetch the rest of the knights!" Gawain ordered the nearest guard.
Once the man had left, Gawain sat on the edge of the wall and drew me onto his lap. He held me close and listened to my whispered prayers as we waited. I had no tears left, I simply stared at the fires.
They looked to me like the fiery eyes of terrible beasts that wanted to devour all the light and goodness out of the world. "Keep us in your hand, keep us safe." I prayed quietly to myself. "I am frightened for the people, for the knights, for Gawain. Help us, Father. Please do not let us be over run by evil men."
Galahad was the first to arrive. He exchanged worried looks with Gawain.
Tristan and Lancelot came next, both dressed for a battle.
Bors stumbled up the steps, still feeling the effects of the wine, but one look at the field of fires sobered him instantly. He sat down beside Gawain and I.
The people within the fortress all gathered below, waiting to learn what was going on.
"Make way! Make Way!" one of the guards shouted.
Arthur's manservant, Jols was leading the Roman commander up the stone steps, Guinevere following closely behind as she struggled with her long skirt.
There was silence as Arthur looked out at the Saxon encampment.
The Wode woman took in the scene below her of the gathered enemy forces, then looked pleadingly at Arthur.
He met the gaze of each knight in turn, then looked out over the gathered people, before suddenly turning back again, determination in his eyes. "Knights, my journey with you must end here. May God go with you." He started back down the steps without waiting for a reply.
I watched the rest of the events unfold through a haze of shock.
Lancelot glared accusingly at Guinevere before starting after the commander. "Arthur, this is not Rome's fight."
The other man ignored him and strode on when he reached the bottom of the stairs.
Guinevere started after them both, as quickly as her long skirt would allow.
The rest of the knights followed more slowly.
"This is not your fight!" Lancelot continued, jogging to catch up. "All these long years we have been together, the trials we have faced, the blood we have shed. What was it all for, if not for the reward of freedom? And now when we are so close, when it is finally within our grasp… Look at me!" He grabbed the other man's shoulder and spun him to face him. "Does it all count for nothing?"
"You ask me that? You who know me best of all." Arthur turned away again.
I didn't know what to think of the exchange as the black haired knight raced ahead to face his commander again.
"Then do not do this! Only certain death awaits you here! Arthur, I beg you! For our friendship's sake, I beg you!"
Gawain placed one hand over one ear, then gently pressed my head down against his shoulder. He knew how shouting frightened me, so he muffled the sounds and drew me away.
"Let us travel the world, and let us not stop until we find a place where the Roman Empire does not control." I pleaded as we entered my room.
I was trembling.
He steered me toward the cot and made me lay down. "I like that plan. Now try to sleep. We have a long journey ahead of us. I have to go take care of some things, so just sleep. I'll be back by morning."
Did as he asked and tried to sleep, but true rest escaped me. I drifted in and out of an uneasy sleep.
True to his word, he was there with the dawn, gently shaking me awake.
At least I thought it was dawn. The skies were gray and sad, and the world felt damp and clammy, as if the land itself was mourning what was to come.
We hurriedly ate the leftovers from the night before and repacked my few possessions.
Before Gawain wrapped up my Saxon box, I took out a leather and stone medallion that hung from a leather cord. I slipped the necklace over my head.
"What is that?" he asked.
I started to braid my long hair tightly into a single tail. "Good luck charm." I tied off the braid and moved to put on my boots. "Not that I believe in luck, but it's a piece of my mother, to keep her close as I leave my homeland." I donned my cloak over my gathering bags and looked at him. "I am ready."
Our combined possessions were loaded onto the back of a packhorse, the reigns of which I held from my seat behind Gawain as we joined the caravan that was winding its way further South, to the sea.
Galahad rode beside us, the rest of the Knights around us. We could see Arthur on the hill above the road, watching us leave.
Suddenly, Bors rode away from the caravan a ways and shouted the war cry of the Sarmation knights, his arm raised in salute.
Arthur returned it and the giant of a man rode back to the caravan, satisfied. Their former commander was still one of them, though he stayed behind to ensure our escape.
At first, spirits were lifted by this, but no matter how far we rode, we could still hear the Saxon war drums.
A restlessness descended on the knights and they began to exchange glances. I sensed that they wanted to go back. All of them. Even Galahad, who had wanted the most to return to his homeland.
The Saxon drums were carrying on the wind and spooked the horses. It took several minutes for the knights to calm them.
Bors looked to his family, as Gawain looked over at his shoulder at me, silently asking my permission.
To answer him, I took off my necklace and put it over his head.
Before he could ask what I was doing, I kissed him, long and hard. "Go." I said, when we parted for breath. "Do what you must, but come back to me." I slid from the back of the horse before he could stop me. "I will wait until it is safe for me to come and patch up the lot of you when you are finished saving our lives."
A ripple of laughter made its way through the knights.
We halted the caravan and the knights began readying for battle.
I helped Gawain adjust his brother's armor, then Galahad helped me with Gawain's.
All around us, the people were helping the other knights into their armor.
Gawain kissed me one last time before he rode away with his fellow knights.
I shed no tears. "Be with them, Father, God. Please keep them safe, and bring him back to me!"
Most of the men from the liberated village and the men folk of the fort began to arm themselves before following the knights.
I found that the women and children were looking to me.
With their help, we soon had most of the caravan turned around and as close to the fortress as I dared to go until the battle was over.
She sent a prayer after the rest of the people who had continued on, seeking to escape Britannia, especially Urelia and Alecto.
Lucan had attached himself to Bors' family, rounding out the number of children to twelve.
I began directing the set up of tents for shelter and to triage the wounded.
"How do you know they won't all be slaughtered, and us after them?" one of the women asked.
I offered her a sad smile. "I do not know what gives me the assurance that we will be victorious, except that it was placed in my heart by God. Pray with me and perhaps He will comfort you as well."
Those that would, joined me in prayer and when the sounds of the drums and battle carried over the hill to us, I led them all in song to drown them out.
When the sounds died away hours later, one young man could stand it no longer. "Let us take a wagon and see what is going on. Perhaps we can start bringing back some of the wounded."
His mother was about to protest, until I agreed with him. "But only if we are careful. We will go and see how things stand with our men."