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Chapter 6

Bella's PoV

When I had woken up last weekend I had thought I was hung-over. Now I knew that it was nothing compared to this, this was hangover. My head felt like it had been run over with a truck at least twice. And according to the nauseating feeling in my stomach I would have already threw up if my stomach hadn't been so empty.

After lying still for a moment I opened my eyes slowly. And almost screamed out loud.

I closed my eyes. This. Was. So. Not. Happening. I must be dreaming.

I dared to open up my right eye just a little bit. I didn't have any idea where the hell I was but I knew that it wasn't my room. But all of that didn't matter right now because I was not alone.

I was with frigging Edward Cullen. In a bed.

"Oh God", I groaned looking at Edward who was sleeping next to me like the most innocent thing. "No, no, no."

I had fucked up. A lot.

I buried my head in my hands trying to breathe. Okay calm down, I told myself, this can't be that bad.

Okay, this was exactly that bad. Because I had realized that under the covers I was naked. Like totally, completely, unavoidably naked. I didn't even want to start thinking what that had to mean.

I needed to get out of here, Like right now.

I stumbled out of the bed pulling the whole cover with me. Just to discover that Edward was every bit as naked as I was. Oh gosh.

I collected my clothes from the floor and put them on as fast as I could, then threw the cover at the bed, not looking anywhere near it and practically ran out of the room.

I scrambled down the stairs feeling sick and ended up into the living room. It was a mess, half empty bottles and glasses everywhere. A couple of people were snoring away on the couch.

"Bella."

I jumped in the air when I heard my name.

"Didn't mean to scare you," Emmett said laughing. "Have you seen Edward?"

The nauseating feeling came back to me when I heard Edward's name. "I have to –" I groaned and rushed into the bathroom.

After I had flushed down all the last contents of my stomach I got out of the bathroom. Emmett was still in the living room and he grinned after seeing me coming out.

"You seem like you had fun last night," he commented.

"Yeah," I said feeling awful. "You know, I really have to go now, so see you later."

Then I ran out of the living room and the whole house, before he had the time to say anything.

Emmett's place wasn't far away from the center of the town so I just started walking somewhere, not really paying much attention to where I was heading.

I had thought that the fresh air would make me feel better but it didn't really. As I was walking, some of last night's memories slowly came back to me, all blurry and broken, but it was enough so that I could figure out the rest.

And I couldn't deny the truth. I had had sex with Edward Cullen.

I felt so completely horrible alone and screwed up that I couldn't do anything else than sit on the nearest bench that was on the side of the road and cry my eyes out.

Everything was just so… wrong.

I finally stopped crying when a middle aged woman sat on the bench beside me and gave me a motherly caring look. "Are you okay, dear?" she asked in a worried tone.

"No I'm not okay," I sobbed. "Because I only moved here 'cause I couldn't stand my mother's new husband and I didn't even like partying or drinking before I came here. I didn't mean to get drunk and screw Edward, the guy I was not supposed to like, because Edward screws everything that moves and he doesn't even care about me and now everything's just a mess."

The women stared at me, stunned into silence when I had stopped. "God bless you." she said patting my shoulder with her hand and then walked away.

I sat there, alone on the park bench for a while looking at the people walking by and shaking their heads at my direction. I realized, how awful I must have looked, wearing clothes more suitable for a night club, my hair tangled and make up and tears mixed all over my face.

Finally I decided that I just had to call Alice, because for one thing, I didn't know how to get home and second, I really needed someone to talk to.

"Alice, I need you." I said right after she had picked up.

"Where are you?" she asked her voice still sleepy. I must have woken her up.

"I don't know exactly. It's kind of a small park near Emmett's house."

"Oh, I know it," Alice said. "Is everything all right?" She asked hesitantly.

I sighed. "No, not really." I confessed after a while.

"Just stay right there. Don't move. I'll be there in a sec, okay?" she said. She being her normal, determined self, really calmed me down more than the fresh air stuff.

"Okay", I said weekly. I felt like I might start to cry again.

"Okay", she said. "I'm going to hang up now, see you in a minute then."

"See you", I answered. "And Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

I could hear her smile on the other side of the line. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Alice sat beside me on the same spot that the woman had earlier. "Tell me."

"I messed up." I said.

"How bad?"

"Bad. Like really bad." I said burying my face on her shoulder.

"Just tell me. It can't be that bad", Alice said encouragingly.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I felt like I couldn't say the words out loud.

"Okay, I fucked Edward", I said as quickly as I could.

"What?" Alice gasped.

"You heard right," I whispered miserably.

"How could he do that?" Alice yelled.

"What?" I repeated Alice's words frowning.

"I told him," Alice said all worked up now, "I told him not to mess with you."

"It's not his fault." I said. "I'm the biggest slut in the world." Because that's how I felt. I just wasn't the kind of girl who got drunk and lost their virginity to someone they barely knew and didn't even remember most of it. Well except that, apparently I was.

Alice sighed, looking at me sympathetically. "Of course it's his fault. He's the one from the two of you who has far more experience about sex or alcohol or sex and alcohol combined."

"Yeah, I guess it was his fault then", I admitted. "This is awful."

Alice hugged me tightly. "Don't worry, everything's going to be okay. Let's get you out of here."

She pulled me up and pushed me into her car. I didn't say anything, because I felt like I might start crying again.

I didn't even pay attention where we were going, until Alice pulled up in her front yard.

"Can't you just take me home?" I asked.

"God, no." Alice said shaking her head. "You look awful; your dad would have a heart attack."

"Oh right." I said, for the second time today realizing that I looked a complete mess.

After a long hot shower, a big breakfast and some more crying against Alice's shoulder, I felt slightly better and managed to convince Alice that I was in a stable enough state to be let home.

Edward's PoV

When I woke up I had the kind of feeling that I had messed up badly. I realized that I was sleeping in one of Emmett's parents' guest rooms. Despite all the scotch I had drunken last night I had no trouble remembering what had happened.

I had fucking fucked Bella Swan.

I know, that's what I had wanted, but still, it kind of felt wrong.

And that was another thing that was wrong. I was fucking Edward Cullen, I didn't think that way. Most of the time I didn't even think I just did.

Oh shit - Alice. Alice was going to be so pissed off. After all she was one of my best friends, I didn't want to hurt her.

Oh heck, now I wasn't even making any sense, it was Bella I had screwed, not Alice. Not that I wanted to hurt Bella either. The weird thing was that against all odds, I had really started to like that girl. Despite the fact that she was such a smart-ass and naïve I really kind of liked her. And despite the fact that she didn't have any sense of fashion and she barely brushed her hair in the morning, I thought she was kind of beautiful.

So maybe we could have kept it that way. Maybe we could have become friends eventually. But not now, no way it was going to happen after last night.

After last night, I didn't know where we were anymore. And even thought I would never ever admit it to anyone, including me, it was a bit scary.

I sighed and finally got out of the bed. I didn't have any idea, what the time was, but the sun was already shining bright on the sky, so it couldn't be that early.

I was a bit disappointed that Bella had left already. I would've wanted to see her, even thought it was a silly thought and I didn't even know why, but it was probably because I was a little hung-over and wasn't thinking that clearly.

So I just put on my clothes and left the room to see if I could find any painkillers. I would have known my way to Emmett's bedroom even in my dreams.

"Hey, Em, do you have any –" I started and then stopped suddenly. "What the hell, guys? I thought you were fighting?"

I said to Rosalie and Emmett who were in his bed in a very not-fighting position.

"Edward, we're having a kind of private situation, so would you mind pissing off?" Rosalie said blushing.

"Yeah", Emmett mumbled his face buried in Rosalie's messy hair.

"Oh gosh, yeah," I said shaking my head and closing the door quickly. I stood for a moment in front of the door my mouth hanging open and then headed to the kitchen.

I poured myself a cup of cold coffee and tried to clear my thoughts. My head still hurt a little but it was starting to get better.

I was just gulping my second cup of coffee and thinking that I should probably get home, when the kitchen door swung open and Alice flew in like a small hurricane.

"Edward Anthony Cullen."

"Yes, Alice?" I said as sweetly and innocently as I could. Apparently it didn't work with Alice, though. Well, I didn't even expect it to.

"You're a real dumbass, you know," Alice said walking in front of me and crossed her arms glancing at me angrily.

I had to admit, she was kind of scary when she got that way.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine?" I said, meekly.

"Shut up, Edward", Alice snorted. "Do you even remember what I said to you?"

"You've said many things to me, so naturally I can't remember every one of them but –"

"I told you not to mess around with her," Alice practically shouted at me. "She's so different than you, can't you realize that? She doesn't have any experience at this and this is not what she wanted anyway."

"Oh, isn't it?" I said rising my other eyebrow. "To me it seemed like she quite wanted it last night."

"That's so not the point," Alice said slapping the back of my head.

"Ouch, that hurts!" I said offended.

"You deserved it" Alice said.

I just shrugged. Probably I did.

"You're just so –" she sighed, shaking her head, apparently not even finding the words. "You're so selfish. You don't ever think about anything else than what you want and you have to always be so damn tough. Usually it doesn't bother me, because I've known you basically my whole life and I know who you really are and I know that you would never hurt me, but Bella's my friend too now, so you can't just do that to her."

"Believe me, Alice. I didn't mean to." I just said.

"How can you not mean to do it?" Alice asked still looking annoyed but her face was softened just a little bit, in a way that said that she might actually maybe someday forgive me.

"I was drunk!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "You're drunk half of the time, so that's not really a good explanation."

"Okay, fine, I'm sorry." I said. "Happy now?"

"No, you should be saying that to her", Alice said.

"Well I'm saying it to you now."

"Fine then. I may forgive you someday maybe." she said, no longer frowning.

"Good," I said when she was already leaving. "Oh, and Alice?"

"Yeah?" She said turning around.

"You might want to know that your plan actually worked. If you go up to Em's room, you'll find Rose and Emmett there."

"Oh, cool!" Alice yelled and was already turning around probably to run up to see for herself.

"But you might not want to go there right now," I said winking at her.

She laughed. "Oh, right. I gotta go, see you guys later then."

And then she was out of the room. Alice might be a little short-tempered, but thank god she never stayed mad for too long.

Bella's PoV

When I got back home I found Charlie in the living room watching news from TV. I was little surprised, I didn't expect to find anyone home. Even at weekends they both seemed to have so much to do. It was so different. I still kept wondering where my old dad, the one who used to spend every evening watching baseball, had disappeared to.

"Hi Bells." Charlie called, using my old nickname.

"Hi dad," I said stepping into the living room, but stopping at the doorway. "Where's Sue."

"She's in some charity meeting", Charlie said, without much feeling. "Where have you been?"

"Oh I… I was with Alice", I said. I didn't feel the need to tell him with whom I had been before that.

"Okay did you have fun?" he asked, his eyes were back on the TV screen again.

"Yes", I said quietly. I was usually so bad liar I didn't fool anyone, but guess it didn't matter, since he wasn't even paying any attention to me.

"Well good." He said.

"Yeah good", I said. After a short awkward silence I left to my own room.

It was kind of weird. We were never that close with Charlie, but before it felt like he was trying his best. That he was trying to understand me and that he wanted to be there for me.

This new Charlie however, was like a complete stranger that I didn't have nothing in common with. But after all, I didn't even bother to be irritated by it. That wasn't the biggest one of my problems. But I was trying hard not to think about the biggest problem, though. That was pretty much how I spent the rest of the weekend, trying hard not to think about Edward and failing miserably.

And far too soon it was Monday morning and I was supposed to get out of bed and to school. For a while I considered staying in bed and telling Charlie and Sue I was sick. (Even though they wouldn't probably even notice if I just stayed home.) But after all staying at home, would probably just make it worse. I would have to face Edward sooner or later anyway. So might as well do it sooner.

When I get to school, just a little before the first hour was beginning Alice rushed towards me with a huge smile in her face. I hadn't spoken to her since the Saturday morning I didn't want to think about.

"Bella, guess what!" she said exited.

"What?" I said wondering what she was so excited about.

"It totally worked! My master plan, it worked!" Alice said jumping a little.

"What?" I said confused about what she was talking about now.

"My plan to get Emmett and Rosalie back together. It so worked, they're happily together again and everything fine", Alice explained.

"Really?" I said puzzled, I had completely forgotten about her 'master' plan, though I would have never thought that such a ridiculous plan could possibly work.

"Yeah, absolutely!" Alice laughed still a wide smile on her face. "How awesome am I?"

"Of course, you're awesome Alice, but I really have to go now, or I'm going to be late for the class and so are you by the way." I said and couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Okay, see you later then." Alice said and danced away with her pink ballerina shoes like a little pixie.

I hurried to my English class and was there just before the class started. I had just sat next to Jasper when Mr. Mason started to tell us about the next book we were supposed to read.

"Hi." I said a little out of breath.

"Hi," Jasper said quietly, smiling at me. "How are you? Haven't seen you since Friday."

"Oh, I'm fine" I said. "I just had a kind of… quiet weekend."

"Yeah, me too," Jasper said nodding understandingly. Even though I was sure that he wouldn't have understood if I had told him what really happened. It wasn't like He didn't even seem to particularly like Edward.

For a while we tried to actually concentrate on the teaching, even though English was the only subject that I was good even when I didn't pay that much attention.

"Bella?" Jasper whispered at the end of the hour.

"Yes?" I said turning to look at him.

"Are you okay? You seem a little off", Jasper asked softly.

I was just about to assure him that I was fine, when I changed my mind. "What would you do, if you had kind of screwed up and you couldn't do anything to make it better?"

Jasper looked at me long, thoughtfully. "Screwed up in what way? If I had hurt someone I would just let them know that I'm sorry."

"Not in that way," I corrected. "I didn't hurt anyone. Or maybe me, I don't know."

He frowned, clearly confused about what I was saying. "If there really was nothing I could do about it, I would just try to learn my lesson and forget it."

"And if you couldn't just forget it?" I asked.

Jasper sighed. "Bella, I can't believe that you would have done anything so awful. Everyone makes mistakes; don't be so hard on yourself. If you'd tell me what happened, maybe I could help."

I smiled at him. He was already making me feel a little better. "Thanks Jasper, but I really need to deal with this alone."

Jasper looked like he was going to say something more, but then the bell rung and everyone was packing their stuff and out of the classroom.

I finally saw Edward before my second class. He was talking with Mike and it looked like Mike was annoying the crap out of him. I wondered what they were arguing about. I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and then started to walk towards them determinedly. I knew that if I didn't do it now, I would probably never do it.

"Edward," I tried to stop my voice from trembling. They both turned to look at me the exactly same time.

"Hi Bella," Mike said and a wide smile appeared in his face. "Did you have a good weekend?"

"Yeah, I did", I said not paying the least bit of attention to him. Edward was avoiding my eyes. "Edward?" I repeated. "Could we talk?"

Finally he turned his incredibly green eyes at me and I couldn't read any emotion in them, but they made me immediately blush. "The class starts in few minutes, we're going to be late."

"Since when did you care about that?" I said a little irritated.

"Fine, then," Edward said. "I just thought that you did."

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away from Mike, like I wouldn't have more important things in mind than being late for the next class.

Edward didn't say anything, but just followed me.

I didn't stop until we were in the outside of the school building in a place where teachers couldn't see us from the windows.

Then I turned around and faced him. He was leaning against the wall and I had the feeling that he was trying his best to keep his expression neutral.

Now that I got him here, I didn't have the slightest idea what I would say, even thought I had considered different options in my head the whole morning.

"Okay." I said finally. What a fascinating start.

Edward just raised his brow so I took it as a request to go on.

"I know that… what happened was probably nothing unusual to you and that's okay. I'm not going to set up any abused innocent little girl scene but I thought that maybe we should talk or something."

"Okay, let's talk," Edward said. He wasn't making this any easier for me. "What do you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath. "Well I just need to know", I said blushing so that my face was probably closer to the color of a beetroot. This was so embarrassing. "Did we… use protection?"

Edward seemed completely astonished about my question. "You don't remember?" he said quietly, almost whispering.

"No, I don't remember", I said sourly. Was he actually trying to make this harder?

"Oh", Edward said still looking a little stunned, but also ashamed now.

"Don't try to say that you didn't know that I was drunk," I warned him.

Edward shook his head. "No, I'm not saying that, but I just didn't think… Well anyway, yes, of course we did. I might be irresponsible but I'm not that irresponsible."

"Okay", I sighed relieved.

After a long – or at least it felt long – embarrassed silence I was already deciding to go back to school. This wasn't working out.

I was just about to turn around when Edward opened his mouth again. "Bella?"

I turned my eyes at him. He looked a little uneasy too.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you", he said.

Now was my time to be surprised. He had actually apologized? He actually was sorry?

"Not that I didn't like it though," he continued, making me blush again. "But I just didn't know that you were so… I guess I just didn't think."

"It's okay," I whispered. "I didn't think either." I didn't say that I think I had liked it too, at least the part that I could remember.

"Friends?" Edward asked holding out his hand for me.

I hesitated. I didn't know if I quite believed that we could be friends, just friends, when he was constantly confusing me, making me act like an idiot and losing my self control.

"Friends", I said despite all of that and grabbed his hand. It felt warm and comfortable in my hand, like it somehow belonged there. I didn't have any idea where we were heading, but maybe, after all, it wouldn't be so horrible to find out.

The rest of the school day was over soon. Alice and Rosalie caught up with me when I was getting out of the front doors.

"So what do you want to do today?" Alice asked.

"Is staying inside and doing some homework an option?" I suggested.

"Of course not." Rosalie said rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, I know what we're doing," Alice nodded. "We're going to the beach."

"Cool, let's call up the boys", Rosalie said, all cheery and happy again from her make-up with Emmett.

Alice threw a questioning glance at my direction. She wanted to know if I was okay with hanging out with Edward.

I smiled nodding. "Sure, that's fun." If I was going to try being friends with Edward I might as well start now. And hanging out in the beach was something that friends did. It was casual, it was normal.

Soon we were in the beach and Edward and Emmett joined us all laughing and cheerful after they got out of school.

Edward sat next to me on the warm sand and he was acting like nothing had happened. It was actually nice, like he wanted to show me that it could work; the whole 'us being friends' thing. And maybe he was also a little bit trying to show it to Alice, who was throwing suspicious looks at him every now and again.

We were talking about everything normal. Complaining about the big pile of homework our biology teacher had given us and arguing about whether he was gay or not.

"Oh come on, he has a ring in his left hand, sure he has a loving wife and two kids." I protested.

"But did you see the shirt he was wearing today?" Edward grinned. "He got the ring from his ten year younger, gay boyfriend."

"You can't say that he's gay just on account of his shirt." I laughed.

"Okay guys, let's go swimming", Emmett cried interrupting our arguing.

"Yes!" Rosalie said and jumped up pulling Alice with her.

"Let's go, Bella", Alice said grabbing my other arm as she pulled me up with Rosalie.

"Come on guys, I don't even have my swimming suit with me", I said.

Edward stood up too and grinned at me. "Oh come on, you don't need any swimming suit."

Alice nodded. "Don't be boring Bella."

"Yeah, let's go", Edward said grinning his mischievous crooked smile that never lead to anything good and before I knew it, he had lifted me over his shoulder and carried me towards the water.

The others followed after us, laughing at my predicament, and the next thing I knew Edward had thrown me head first to the sea.

I rose up from the water laughing and gasping air, and tackled Edward into the water before he had time to notice what I was doing.

That started a long and cruel water fight; to which afterwards we slouched back to the beach all exhausted, laughing and soaking wet.