Holding on Tonight

Chapter 6

She awoke feeling all warm and soft. It was a new sensation. It was nice. She liked it. Blinking lazily, Kate rolled onto her side, reaching out to smooth her hand down the back of her bed companion. A low rumble met her, and she grinned, pulling her lower lip under her teeth to suppress the giddiness that was building up inside her. Her heart clenched with happiness, feeling so light and free that she didn't know what to do with it. Kate had never felt this way before. The morning after had always been somewhat awkward or just something she had to work through.

Of course, it would be different with Richard Castle. Everything was different with him.

Castle let out a little sound, and abruptly sat up on the edge of the bed, his back to her. "Bathroom?" his questioned, his voice rough with sleep.

"Down the hall and to the right," Kate answered, her cheeks flushing with color. She didn't know why she was embarrassed, but there was just something uniquely intimate about sharing a bed with someone and then watching them slip out to use the bathroom.

Castle bobbed his head in response, pushing up off the bed, gifting her with a glorious view of his magnificent ass. She smiled lazily, remembering how last night she'd dug her fingers into the ample flesh. Curling further into the warm mattress, Kate happily watched him walk out of the room in nothing but his birthday suit. God, the man looked good. Like a fine wine, he'd aged well. She closed her eyes, and nuzzled into his pillow, breathing in his scent.

This was a nice way to wake up. She could definitely get used to it.

Without intending it, Kate drifted off for a bit before Castle returned, his bare feet stomping sleepily across the floorboards. Kate languidly moved back to give him room. She licked her lips at the sight of him. Even while flaccid, he was an impressive male specimen. However, Castle didn't seem to notice her predatory look, as he just climbed back into bed, lying down on his side with his back to her. All too soon his breathing seemed to even out and he was asleep again.

Huffing in annoyance, Kate scooted closer to him, relishing the heat radiating off his solid frame. Biting her lower lip, Kate moved her hand up, and played with the fine hairs dusting the nape of his neck, caressing his skin, mesmerized at the feel of it beneath her fingertips. Waking up like this was a little surreal for Kate. Just a few short years ago, something like this would have scared the shit out of her. But, just as last night, she found that she wasn't afraid. Quite the opposite actually. She was amazed at how quickly her life had changed overnight.

Yesterday morning, she'd had woken up alone, going through the motions, content, if not satisfied, with her life. Today was the complete opposite. She was happy, truly happy.

"It wasn't a dream," she breathed out, almost in awe, a beaming smile working its way onto her lips.

"Hmm?" hummed her companion, evidently still awake, shifting around so that he could face her. Castle grinned back at her, palming the side of her face in his large hand. His thumb tenderly caressed her cheek as he met her gaze. "No regrets?" he asked, cautious, still so cautious. It made her wonder what had happened to him over their separation.

"None," she asserted confidently, surging forward to greet him with a kiss. He groaned approvingly into her mouth. Oh, yes, she thought to herself, she could definitely get used to waking up to this. She delighted in the warm press of their naked bodies as they snuggled together, slowly savoring the intimate nature of their first morning.

"That was nice," Castle announced when they separated, foreheads touching as they rubbed noses and shared the same breathing space.

"Yes, it was," Kate concurred with a stifled grin.

Castle idly ran his hand up and down her side, eventually finding purchase on the jut of her hip. She tipped her head up again, kissing him softly, adoringly.

"Do we have time?" he asked, the evidence of his want very apparent to her.

She frowned. "What time is it?"

Castle reluctantly pulled back, arching his neck and twisting his torso around to glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand beside her bed. "Just after seven," he replied, rolling back to face her, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips.

Kate sighed, and he released a breath, equally displeased. Kate wished she could just hold on to last night and make it last forever. But she still had work, and it was her second day on the job as captain. Kate dropped her head down onto his shoulder, closing her eyes as she worked to contain her disappointment.

"Sorry," she whispered, leaning back to meet his understanding eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Kate," he insisted, shifting to sit up, awkwardly maneuvering the bedsheets around to cover his straining arousal. "It's not like you planned any of this."

"I know," she said, joining him in a sitting position, letting the sheet fall down to her lap. Brushing back her tousled hair, Kate looked at him with yearning in her eyes. "This… thing between us is just so new, I don't want to mess it up by putting the job first."

That statement seemed to stun him. He raised his eyebrows and stared at her like she'd suddenly grown a second head. Kate cocked her head and frowned, puzzled by his reaction. From the glazed over look in his eyes, she was hoping he was just distracted by the sight of her naked chest.

"Castle?"

He shook his head, and scrubbed a hand down his face. "I think it just hit me," he explained at length.

"What did?"

"That this is real," he said, gesturing between them. "Us. I wanted last night to happen for so long, but then I left for London and I guess I figured that I'd never see you again, that I'd lost my chance to ever be with you."

"To be fair, I'm pretty sure that back then all you wanted was to just get into my pants," Kate pointed out with a smirk, enjoying teasing him.

Castle bobbed his head, conceding the point. "Touché."

"But," she went on, folding her hands in her lap. "I think I get what you're saying." She paused for a breath, wanting to get this right in the light of day. There was no alcohol lowering their inhibitions, giving them liquid courage to say things that they normally wouldn't say. "I meant what I said last night. All of it."

"So did I," he replied earnestly, gazing at her with such adoration in his eyes that Kate wanted to shout with joy at both the verbal and visual confirmation.

She smiled at him, reaching out for his hand. He turned his palm up and entwined their fingers together. Kate squeezed his hand, and lifted it to her lips, kissing his knuckles.

"I always wondered if you did real," she declared, almost cryptically. "Now I know."

"Huh?" it was Castle's turn to be puzzled by her statement.

She bit her lower lip, ducking her head down almost bashfully before answering. "When we first met, I thought you were just a self-absorbed, arrogant jackass."

"Well, I sort of was," he freely admitted with a self-deprecating grin.

"Still are, I see," she said with a teasing eye roll.

He pouted like a child. She apologized with a sweet kiss. Pulling back, she reached up to tuck some loose strands behind her ear. Beneath her breast, her heartbeat quickened as her veins filled with nervous energy.

"I just never imagined you could be with someone like me," she confessed out loud, in a small voice. "I saw you with Meredith, Gina… and celebutantes," she went on, needing to get this out. "But, no one who was just like me, an average woman."

"Kate," Castle shook his head, reaching up to palm the side of her face. "You are far from being average. I've said it before, and I'll say it again… you're extraordinary."

She closed her eyes and eased into his touch, willing her eyes to remain dry. However, his sincere words made it difficult. When she looked back up at him, her hazel eyes glistened with raw emotion. She felt the final cracks in her wall buckle and give way, tumbling down to expose her heart completely to his invasion. For the first time in her entire life, Kate willingly surrendered. Kate canted into him, turning her head up to graze her mouth against his in a kiss that was different that any of the ones that had come before.

"You've got it all backwards," he said at length, after they'd separated. "I'm the one that's unworthy."

"What!?" she hooted, shaking her head in vigorous disagreement.

He held up a hand to forestall any of her objections, his gaze soft and tender. "It's true," he insisted. "But I'm not that man anymore. I've matured, grown over the last few years. I like to think I'm a better father, son… man than I was before."

"You are," she insisted, not even waiting for him to stop talking.

Castle let out a half chuckle at that. "It's been what… a few hours since we reunited? And half the time was spent having sex."

"Great sex," she said with a delighted grin.

"Yes, great sex," he agreed. "The best."

"The best," she echoed.

He waited a moment longer, allowing them a moment to revel in their shared memories of the previous night. And then he laughed, shaking his head. "I write for a living, yet here I am, fumbling over this," he chuckled.

Kate reached forward and clutch his hand, offering him her unflinching support. "I trust you," she said, astonished that she actually meant it.

His eyes jerked up to meet hers, stunned. "You do?"

"Yes," she asserted, leaving no room for any doubt. "I know you're not the man you were before, Castle. But even back then, with all that playboy façade, deep down, you were still a good, honest man."

A small smile touched his lips as he nodded. "Yes. I like to think so, yes. Thank you."

She smiled back at him. "Now," she sat up straighter. "What were you trying to say?"

"Just… I know last night was pretty intense," he said. "And I'm not saying I don't want a repeat performance—because hell yes I want one!—but I want to do right by you, Kate."

"What do you mean?" she frowned, uncertain as to exactly what he was getting at.

"I want to take you out," he blurted out.

"Like a date?" she questioned, confused.

"Yes, precisely, like a date," he said, relieved she understood.

"Okay," she announced after a moment's thought. "Yes. I'd like that. I haven't really been on a proper date in a while."

"Though, we have sort of skipped a few steps," Castle waggled his eyebrows, smoothing his hand down her naked side.

Kate shivered as a pool of heated want formed in her center. "Yes, we have," she hummed in response. "No complaints." She licked her lips, her eyes momentarily dropping to his mouth. "Like you, I wouldn't mind a repeat of last night."

Castle grinned happily. "I'm glad," he said, growing somewhat somber, looking anxious. "Because I want to be the man you deserve."

"Oh, Castle," she shook her head, unable to hide her amusement. "Don't be silly." Leaning forward, Kate brushed the flop of hair back from his forehead. "Don't you see?"

His brow wrinkled adorably. "Huh?"

"You're already that man," she said, then silenced any more conversation with a deep and passionate kiss.

She with withdrew with a sigh, happy and satisfied. Castle wore a dopey grin. Kate slipped off the bed, and stretched her arms up over her head, arching her back. She pursed her lips, suppressing a delighted smile, knowing she now had Castle's rapt attention. Kate raised her hand, holding it up in offering.

"Join me in the shower?" she said, hoping he'd spot the suggestive sparkle in her eyes. "And help me wash up?"

Castle grinned, accepting her proffered hand, and clambered out of the bed to join her. He slipped an arm around her waist, and hugged her tightly. She closed her eyes, burying her face in his chest, breathing in the scent of him, them, and sex. It smelled good. It smelled like home.

"I'm yours, Kate Beckett," Castle declared, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "Always."

Kate smiled up at him, linking their hands together. "Always," she echoed his refrain. And then, she led him to her bathroom, intent on squeezing in one more round of fun in the shower before she had to head into work.