"Nica, are you okay?" Rey asked. Since Nica had been dating Poe, they'd all become somewhat of a group of "best friends" even though Nica had trouble putting up with their nonsense and she didn't really want to be friends with them. These best friends didn't know her dark secret, her Kylo Ren secret. They all still asked from time to time if her and Ben Solo had ever been together and her response was always no, that they were close friends, she sometimes wondered if Rey knew that was a lie. They looked out for each other during their Jedi training. That part was true, but everyone believed there was more to that story and Nica knew they thought that. Nica really wished that they wouldn't ask about it because it upset Poe.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just have a long day tomorrow and I can't sleep for shit," Nica sighed. In all reality she was still reeling about seeing Kylo and then fucking Poe in the bathroom in the same night. It was stupid really. Kylo is just a man and she wasn't going to join the First Order to be with him.
"You're troubled about a man," Rey sensed. "Are you and Poe doing okay?"
"Poe and I are fine," Nica said truthfully, "it's someone else". She didn't think about how it sounded before she said it. It honestly sounded horrible.
"So there is someone else?" Rey gasped. Nica instinctively rolled her eyes wishing she could burst out like Kylo sometimes. For someone as low maintenance as Rey, she sure liked gossip. Although, Nica had found that gossip was an inevitable and sometimes important part of her job.
"That's not what I meant. It's just a work thing," Nica sighed. She wasn't going to get into it because if Rey tried to get in her mind she might snap and honestly, she could be scarier than Kylo in that state. Nica's thoughts accidentally went to Kylo Ren which made her mind weaker. She hated the fact that he had popped back into her life even if she did love him. She hated it even more because now she had Poe and her feelings were growing for Poe every day.
"It's him isn't it?" Rey sounded worried. Nica had let her guard down too much.
"What the hell are you on about Rey?" Nica tried to play it off, but she knew that Rey knew.
"Kylo Ren," Rey frowned. "How could you, Nica? You're Colonel of the resistance and you're with Poe. Not to mention he's a horrible person. He's not Ben Solo anymore," Rey ranted. Nica had to calm down and get herself out of this and quickly at that. If she exploded it would not be good.
"Rey, you're going on about nothing. I'm not with Kylo Ren. Just because I was close to Ben Solo does not mean that I'm close to or with Kylo Ren," Nica played it cool, but she wasn't sure that it was enough. "I'm dating Poe. Even though I shouldn't really be doing that considering he's under my command," Nica pointed out. Hoping that a less bad thing would cancel out a thought of a terrible thing to most wasn't the best idea. She really didn't understand how her situation was so obvious. She had told no one, except for Poe, but he could've talked. Even with Poe she explained that she was in a bad situation. She also didn't think Poe would do that to her.
"I don't believe you," Rey frowned. She was angry and she was going to say something to someone. Rey stormed off in another direction and Nica felt as if she could scream and throw a tantrum. However, she knew whatever happened she brought upon herself because she made the decision to sleep with Kylo that night. She really hoped that it didn't affect her and Poe though.
Poe apparently was standing there to hear Rey's final spew and basically drug Nica back to the Lieutenant's quarters.
"You told Rey?" Poe almost shouted once they walked into Nica's quarters.
"No. You know Rey. She's a stubborn little twit. She's likely to take whatever she has in her mind and tell it if she thinks someone will believe her," Nica scolded him. How dare he get onto her? At the same time she had no room to be upset.
"Why don't you just stop fucking him already? What about him is so great, Nica? What does he give you that I can't?" Poe yelled. This was the first fight that her and Poe had gotten into. She had no idea how jealous he actually was. Then again, she'd never mentioned Kylo again. She hadn't slept with him again either, but maybe he saw that he was at the bar the other night.
"I haven't done anything with him since we got together Poe! I wouldn't do that to you!" Nica screamed at him.
"Really? Because you looked pretty cozy with him at that bar the other night!" Poe had seen. Nica blushed and hid her face.
"I told him no, Poe," Nica said more calmly. "I told him I couldn't because I was with you." Nica saw him calm down a bit, but he was still upset. She wasn't sure that he believed her either.
"I don't know what to think Nica. I'm covering for you, and I like you a lot, but I have no idea how you feel about me. Especially because I'm pretty sure you're in love with him," Poe sighed deeply.
"Poe, I have a lot of feelings for you, I'm falling for you hard. Yes, I loved Ben Solo, but that is not who he is anymore. I have a lot of things to work out to be over him, and I hope you understand that. I was doing fine, but he had to show up there," Nica sighed too. This wasn't what she wanted and she was already fighting with herself about it and the last thing she had needed was to fight with Poe over it too.
"How can you be falling for me, but still be in love with him?" Poe growled. He was getting upset again and honestly, Nica had never seen him so upset. At least not in this way.
"I don't know," Nica admitted. She could tell that didn't really help it just upset him even more.
"Oh really? So that's why I'm here? So you can sort out your feelings? You know, you're turning into a glorified whore. You've quit doing your job and I'm convinced the only reason General Organa is keeping you in your position is because you're like her daughter and you were so close to Ben. I guess she didn't know you were fucking him though. You need to step down and sort out your issues. I think you'd be more welcome in the First Order than you are here," Poe screamed at her, his face red hot with anger. Nica couldn't believe this was happening and she also couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had tears running down her face now, she actually really did like Poe.
"Fuck you, Poe! You act like this good guy, but you're not. You sit here like you're some type of innocent! You're being so judgmental of me, and you hold some secret over my head that isn't even happening just because you're jealous! I think you should ask General Organa her opinion before you make accusations that I'm not doing my job! You're also not one to judge where I would be most welcome! You're lucky I don't relieve you of your duties, Poe Dameron!" Nica pushed him away from her. As she pushed him, he grabbed her and threw her down on the bed. He had about enough of her shit. He got on the bed and straddled her.
"Listen here Nica Jones, I'm not putting up with this! I want someone who is sure that they want to be with me! Go fuck Kylo Ren all you like, but when someone finds out, I won't pretend to be with you. It's not worth it. Fuck you!" Poe yelled in her face. Nica was out of breath from being surprised at this sudden action and her heart was racing from the anger. The next thing that happened took her by surprise, he kissed her hard, with anger and with passion that she had no idea he was capable of. She had no idea what to do, but she couldn't help but kiss back. He pulled back and started to walk out of the room, but she grabbed his arm.
"Poe," she finally managed. Without words he got off her and stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him. She sighed, why did things have to be so difficult? She did want Poe, and she knew that he was the best thing for her no matter what feelings she had harbored for Kylo Ren. After that though, she knew that she was hurting Poe by not solving her own problems. She hated herself for it, but she knew she had to make the decision to give up on Kylo completely and be with Poe or to keep fighting for Kylo. It wasn't going to be an easy decision no matter what she knew she needed to do.