Disclaimer: Naruto is not ours...

Warning: foul language, some mysteries, shounen ai (NaruSasu, and some of SasoDei)

ENJOY!!

Candle of My life

Chapie 5: Aitsu no Itami (His Pain)

By: Lunaryu and Yunyun

Naruto was upset. Yes, he was truly-really upset.

"Sasuke! Wait for me, you jerk!" Naruto shouted at the raven, but somehow…the raven didn't want to listen to him. Hell, he even wanted to neither meet nor see him around. "Wait, can't you hear me!?" he continued shouting at Sasuke who plainly ignored him and kept walking.

Naruto was really pissed off now. "I said, WAIT!!" he screamed furiously while grabbing the raven's shoulder and turned his body around.

Sasuke looked at him blankly. No, he was not looking at Naruto. He was looking at nothing.

"What's wrong with you? Suddenly ignoring me like this…did I do something wrong?" Naruto asked the raven, confused.

Sasuke didn't say anything. He gently removed Naruto's hand from his shoulder, and then he closed his eyes, turned his back at him and walked away in silence.

Naruto looked at his back in angry look, but then once again, he was struck by the memory of someone leaving him like Sasuke did. "Ouch!" Naruto covered his pained head.

Again…this memory…?-Naruto thought in confused look. This was unexpected. Naruto was upset enough with Sasuke's behavior these days…and he didn't want this disturbing memory to keep bothering him.

Kami…I felt dizzy…- he thought again and sighed. He didn't know why Sasuke suddenly kept his distance away from him. He didn't remember doing something bad to the raven except punching him when he turned down Sakura's love cofession, yet he was sure Sasuke had forgiven him for that.

They became closer after that, but now…it seemed those days of their friendship were only dream. Sasuke didn't speak to him again. Hell, Naruto even doubted that Sasuke considered his existence.

Naruto was really upset and confused. First, he had felt strangely towards this raven. He had never felt that way towards anyone and it's painful for him. Second, he was suddenly attacked by strangers who liked cost-playing; he didn't tell anyone about that though. Third, the gossip of him being gay was spread uncontrollably, not that he minded it, but this gossips brought more fans to him, YAOI LOVERS.

Kami…, Naruto didn't know that many people like YAOI, damned it! Then fourth…this happened. Sasuke kept his distance away. Might be he despised him because that gossip, but…the fact that it hurt so much when someone hating you never across in Naruto's head! Damned it! It hurt so much! It's even more painful than having those strange feelings towards Uchiha!

Naruto muttered in annoyance about how stupid Uchiha is or something like that. "I guess I will hate him, that's more convenient for both of us!" he said in really annoyed look.

"Naruto!" suddenly someone called him. Naruto looked at the direction of the voice and found Kiba running towards him in really worried face.

"Kiba, what's wrong?" Naruto asked him in concern.

Kiba stopped running in front of him and panted heavily. "Tai-taihen desu yo (we've got really serious problem)," he said hard between his panting.

"Oi, calm down a bit, Kiba…," Naruto tapped and smoothed Kiba's back, making him relax somewhat.

Kiba created pace on his breaths and inhaled deeply before he spoke again. "Hinata wa inakunacatta (Hinata has disappeared)!!" he shouted loudly in worried voice.

"What did you say!?" Naruto was so shocked at that news. He couldn't believe his ears. He might mishear it.

"Hinata has disappeared! I called her yesterday, but her cell phone was off! Then I called her home this morning, but her parents and her cousin, Neji-senpai, said that she had not come home yet since yesterday!!" Kiba explained in panicked voice. "What should I do, Naruto!? What if something happened to her!? What if she got accident or something like that!?"

"Ca-calm down, Kiba…," Naruto tried to calm him down and began to think.

What's the meaning of this? I thought she was the one who caused the commotion…is she running away? But why…I didn't tell her anything about my suspicion, did I?-Naruto thought oddly. He bit his bottom lip and began to fume. What if it's one of the threats those people said before…? They don't just aim at me?

"Kiba, clam down. Her family must have called police to find her. She will be ok," Naruto said slowly, soft smile and reassuring tone with him.

"Naruto…," Kiba looked at his senpai's calming face, and somehow he became calmer.

"We will help her family find her. First we search her in this school. Who knows, maybe she is stuck somewhere in this school because she is bullied by her friends? She seems one of those types right?" Naruto said and encouraged Kiba to cheer him up.

"Yeah," Kiba said in serious tone and in determined eyes. "I'll start searching her from the classrooms!" Kiba said and quickly walked away downstairs.

"Maybe Sasuke has idea about this…," Naruto turned his back and walked to the direction of Sasuke's walking away earlier. He looked so serious, making the other who saw him shiver in fear.

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"Then…how is your mission?" Itachi asked his subordinates (?), Deidara and Sasori who was kneeling in front of him and was bending their head in full respect, while Itachi was reading papers on his hand.

"We beg your pardon, Itachi-sama," Deidara spoke first without lifting his face. "We didn't kill him," he said slowly.

"Does he give up on Sasuke?" Itachi asked again, not even bothered to look at them.

"No, he doesn't," Deidara said again, more carefully.

Itachi was silent for awhile before putting his papers on the table and looked at Deidara coldly. He stood from his chair and walked nearing him.

Sasori was aware of this danger and quickly bent his head lower to the ground. "Please forgive us, Itachi-sama! Our opponent is stronger than we thought before. I haven't given hand on Deidara, so we still have chance to kill him somehow. Please don't punish him!" he said in scared-trembling voice.

Itachi still didn't say anything. Now he was standing exactly in front of Deidara who was trembling badly, really in fear. He didn't know what kind of punishment Itachi would give him. However he knew he would not leave this place alive. Deidara shut his eyes in shock when he felt the gesture Itachi gave him. He tapped Deidara's head. "Let me see your face," Itachi said lowly.

Deidara gulped nervously and slowly lifted his head to look at Itachi. Itachi touched his chin and brought Deidara's face more closely to his. "You got many bruises on your face, Deidara," he said slowly in dark and cold gaze. However then, suddenly he smiled at the blonde. "Make sure to treat them well, or it will remain on your beautiful face," he continued while releasing the blonde's face.

"Eh…?" Deidara and Sasori were so surprised at that.

"You can go," Itachi said again and walked back to his seat and continued his activity earlier. Deidara and Sasori looked at each other in confused look, but then they quickly bowed at Itachi and was about to leave his room when Itachi suddenly spoke again. "Next time you fail…there's no tomorrow for you both," he said in really cold voice, without even looking at them.

Deidara and Sasori felt frozen by those words. However, they tried their best to move and to get away from there.

The moment they arrived at their room (it's still in Uchiha district, but in different house), Deidara knelt down weakly. "Aaah, I thought I'd die there…," he said while sighing half in relief, half in fright.

"Itachi-sama is such a dangerous person…. He spread the killing aura around him," Sasori said while throwing his body on a sofa. Deidara tried to stand up, but he felt really weak.

"I was really scared when he's around…!" Deidara said really in pale face.

"We're lucky this time. He still gives us one more chance," Sasori stood and walked to the refrigerator to take some water.

"But…this is the last chance…," Deidara said in down look. "If we fail again…we'll…!" Deidara couldn't bring himself for saying 'die'. He was really scared at that.

Sasori looked at Deidara in sympathy. Then he walked to Deidara after drinking his water and knelt in front of him. "Don't worry, I'll do it this time," Sasori said while hugging the blonde. "I won't let you get hurt again," he said sweetly at Deidara and hugged him tightly.

"Sasori-danna…," Deidara looked at him in touched look.

"Stop calling me that, Deidara…. I'm not your master," Sasori said while cupping Deidara's cheek. "I'm your brother," he reminded the blonde and kissed his lips gently.

Deidara closed his eyes and kissed him back as gently as him. "I love you…Sasori…," he said slowly between the kisses. Sasori didn't say anything and kept embracing the blonde tightly on his arms.

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Sasori took his clothes on after he made sure that Deidara was asleep. He looked at the blonde who was shirtless and was sleeping peacefully on the bed while smiling. Then he left him to the storage. Sasori looked for some tools, wires…and some of dolls.

"Hoo? You'll move this time?" someone suddenly spoke behind Sasori, but the boy didn't react or even feel surprised.

"What do you want, professor?" he asked coldly to a tall, long black haired man behind him whose face is like a snake.

"Aah, you're so cold, my boy…I'm your father, you know," the professor said while licking his lips with his extremely long tongue.

Sasori turned his face and sent him a death glare. "You're not my father, Orochimaru!!" he reminded the snake-man furiously.

"Hmm…don't forget that I made you, my boy, and that Deidara boy too. So…I'm your creator of you two brothers," Orochimaru said in amused tone.

Sasori didn't say anything and kept glaring at Orochimaru. Then he threw his face away from him. "Say what you want, I will finish the task on my own," Sasori scrolled the wire and kept it in his pocket. Then he kept the dolls in his large bag.

"You will use them? You'll die you know?" Orochimaru reminded him again in serious look.

"It's better dying than living hell in this place," Sasori said and zipped his bag. Then he stood and walked to Orochimaru. "Move, you're in the way," he said again coldly.

Orochimaru just smiled at him, and then moved. Sasori walked out the storage and was about to go when the snake man said, "Ah, he wants to meet you before you go."

Sasori stopped and turned left. He walked downstairs to underground section and entered a place like research facility, a laboratory. "Do you want to see me, Father?" Sasori asked the spiky blonde haired man in white lab uniform. The man turned his face and smiled at him. He walked closer to Sasori and ruffled his smooth brown hair.

"Don't push your self too much, Sasori," he said in sweet voice. Sasori blushed at that and hugged the man in front of him.

"Father…. Why must we live like this?" Sasori asked in sad tone while burying his face on the chest of the man he called father. "Why can't we live normally like other people can?" he asked really in sad look.

The blonde man looked at Sasori in pity. "I'm sorry…I can't help you…," he said full of guilt in his voice.

Sasori shook his head. "It's not your fault," Sasori said slowly. Then he released his hug on his father. "I'm going now," he continued and then turned his back and left.

The blonde man looked at him in sad and solemn gaze. However then he turned his face back to his research and didn't think about Sasori more. Blue eyes glinted behind his glasses. "Yes…this should work…," he said slowly.

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"I found you, at least," Naruto said after closing the door on his classroom. "You sure give me hard time to find you, huh?" Naruto continued talking to the dark haired teen that was gazing out the window, watching the sunset and completely ignoring him.

Naruto had lost his patience. He walked angrily towards the Uchiha and grabbed his collar. "I've had enough with you, teme!! Tell me! What's your problem actually!?" he screamed angrily at Sasuke.

Sasuke sighed and then looked at Naruto. At least Naruto thought he looked at him now. "You're in my way," Sasuke said coldly to Naruto. "You asked what my problem is. Fine, I will say it clearly now. YOU are my problem," he said emotionless.

Naruto was shocked at that.

"Following me around like a dog…you really do piss me off! I don't need your presence in this world! Disappear from my sight!" Sasuke shouted at Naruto and glared at him fiercely. He pushed Naruto's chest and walked away from the shocking blonde.

Yes…Naruto was shocked. He was shocked until he felt that his consciousness waved. Then once again, the sharp pain struck his heart; this times a large amount of it. Naruto touched his chest and then he felt like throwing up. He covered his mouth and coughed madly. When he looked at his palm…fresh blood stained it.

Blood…?-Naruto looked at it in horror. Then he quickly ran to bathroom. He looked at his self on mirror. He was no longer him. What the hell-…!? His skin was peeled, and his eyes were no longer blue. What the hell-…!!?

Naruto couldn't believe his eyes. No, he couldn't believe his sanity. There's no way in hell he would end up this way. He didn't know what happened to his body, and his heart kept accelerating its beats. The pain was crushing his body from inside.

What's wrong with me!? What happened with my body!? Naruto was so scared. He was scared of what would happen to him.

At that time, Iruka came in to the bathroom and saw Naruto. "Naruto?" Iruka called him.

Naruto snapped in shocked look and turned his face at Iruka. At the sight of Naruto's body, Iruka widened his eyes in shock and covered his mouth in the looks of horror. "Oh Kami…oh my Kami---!! Naruto!!" he ran to Naruto and hugged the blonde boy tightly. "Don't look! Don't look at the mirror! Don't look at your self!" he screamed loudly and suddenly a hard pain shot Naruto's heart again. The boy couldn't handle it this time and he passed out. "NARUTO!!"

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Sasuke was running restlessly from the school ground to the hill behind his school. He was running while suppressing his tears down. What have I done…!? How could I say something so cruel to him…!? He continued running and suddenly he tripped his legs and fell down to the ground.

Now he could not suppress his tears anymore, and cried. I'm sorry…. I'm really sorry…! Please forgive me…!! Naruto…!

Sasuke crushed the grass under his hand and cried heavily, even if he didn't cry out loud. The pain struck his heart horribly. He had hurt someone who was so important to him. He was the most important person in Sasuke's life now, but he had hurt him so badly. He didn't have any choice. He had to do it to keep the blonde away from him. However, he didn't expect that it would hurt so much to hurt the one you love. It's so painful until he felt dying was better.

Gomen (sorry)…yurushitekure (please forgive me)…. Naruto…please forgive me!!

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Naruto opened his eyes slowly and looked at his surrounding. It was hospital room? No, if Iruka took him to hospital, it must have been in…Tsunade's office.

"You've woken up?" someone spoke to him suddenly.

Naruto threw his gaze at the woman who was standing beside his bed. "Didn't I tell you to call me when you feel something is wrong with your body?" the blond woman asked in irritation, and narrowed her gaze at Naruto.

"Tsunade-…baachan…," Naruto called her weakly.

Tsunade sighed in defeat. "Now everything has been too late to handle," Tsunade said in sad look. "You've fallen in love, haven't you?" she asked carefully.

"Falling in…love…?" Naruto asked and looked at Tsunade in confused look.

"I didn't tell you before because I didn't want to freak you out, Naruto…, but you're forbidden to fall in love –coughs—in romantic way. You'll die if you do," she said honestly.

Naruto was silent for awhile before he asked, "Why?"

"Your heart can't handle it. Too much feeling and such…romantic love is the worst for your body," Tsunade said in pained face. "You understand what I mean, right?" she said again in really sad look.

Naruto closed his eyes and covered his face. "It's too late…baachan…. I've completely fallen in love with him," Naruto said slowly.

"Then no matter what…you must have him," Tsunade said again seriously. "I don't want you to die, Naruto, so you must have him at what all costs!" she said clearly without doubt.

"What if he hates me, baachan?" Naruto asked in bitter smile.

"Then…you'll be destroyed," Tsunade said again in solemn look.

"I see…," Naruto responded softly while smiling. Naruto understood now.

This pain…this pain in his heart is part of the thing called love.

It's the first time he had felt that pain. The sweet hurtful pain…, the pain which crushed his heart and body into pieces…, the pain which somehow brought happiness in his life….

This pain…is called love….

End of Chapie 5

Tbc…

A/N:

Yunyun: "Aaah, how pity I can't get contact with Luna-chan. Maybe she is somewhere else, not touching her computer for long time…. Anyway…sorry for the shortness of this chapter, Luna-chan will be angry when she finds out I post this chapter though…because this chapter is too angst. What do you think of Deidara and Sasori's relationship? And who is their father actually? Aaah, I built so many mysteries here. Then the fact that Naruto loves Sasuke…but he will die if Sasuke doesn't accept him!? Um…what does that mean? I won't tell you here!" Grins. "Anyway…I will update again soon. Well, if Luna-chan's here she would yell at me and then would smack me with her cursing-writing. Yaaah, but I reaaaly need your reviews (even if without Luna-chan)! Please review and let me know what I should fix! Err…I have to fix many things actually, since usually Lunaryu-chan makes the chapter longer. Ok, I think this all for now! Thank you for reading, next chapie ni mata ao to DAISUKIII!!"

With love,

Yunyun&Lunaryu