A/N: This one took me a while, but I'm not really sure what to make of it. Tell me what you think?
Prompt: Glory
Sasuke was never in it for the glory.
It was not glory he sought when he swore vengeance against Itachi, training until his knuckles bled and his shoulders shook with suffocating grief. It was not glory he thought of when he jumped between Haku's senbon and Naruto, willingly giving up his life for a friend. Nor did he care for glory when he sold his body and soul for power from the deepest, darkest parts of hell. And it certainly was not glory that drove Sasuke to declare war on Konoha with red eyes bleeding of loss and for nii-san for nii-san for nii-san beating against his skull.
Sasuke has always hated the appreciative roar of a crowd, has only ever wanted to silence the demons in his head. Never again, he always thinks when he wakes up sweat-soaked from nightmares of blood on blood and sharingan and beloved dead bodies –never again. Sasuke has seen too many precious people bleed for one lifetime. To hell with recognition and fame. He only wants to see his loved ones happy and safe.
Sasuke has never had time for honor or renown – that is more Naruto's thing. Naruto, with all his talk of carved faces in stone mountains and cheering crowds and "Believe it!"'s, craves glory like an elixir. And Sasuke has never begrudged Naruto that, because it is a noble thing to strive for heroism, he supposes.
And Sasuke has never been jealous of the attention that Naruto gains from others (except for that time when it came from Itachi, because why did Itachi never pay attention to him, dammit?). Sasuke is only bitter when he sees Naruto's abilities pull ahead of his own, because the only standard that has ever mattered to Sasuke was his own (and his father's and brother's of course, but they're gone).
And Sasuke knows that Sakura may have thought of him as a hero back in their genin days, may have wanted him to be her hero so very badly, even though he had told her time and again that he was an avenger, nothing more, nothing less. Back then, he was always letting her down.
Now Sakura knows not to expect too much of him, and Sasuke likes to keep it that way. She does not need to know that he watches her trudge home tiredly from the late shift at the hospital, just to make sure she reaches home. She certainly does not need to know who drapes a blanket over her when she falls asleep at her desk, or who keeps her in his line-of-sight whenever they are engaged in combat against an enemy. Sakura will never know that Sasuke only pretends not to like sweets so he can give his portion to her (Sakura has always loved dessert), and that she is the only one special enough for his rare half-smiles. Sakura will never know Sasuke loves her, and he is okay with that. He was never in it for the glory.
That is why, when he is handed a scroll marked S-Ranked and sees that Sakura will be one of his teammates, he almost objects. It's is too dangerous for her, he wants to protest, having read the mission details, what if she gets hurt? But Sasuke is aware that she is the only medic qualified for the mission, and that the village's fragile reconstruction may very well hinge on their completion of this task. He says nothing, and instead silently vows to protect her.
They are ambushed just as the sun kisses the sky. Their team fights valiantly, although not without losses. Four injured, three dead, one medic, one still fighting. Sakura pours her chakra into her teammates, healing two at a time like it is nothing. But it will still take a few minutes, and Sasuke holds off their attackers with efficient speed and lethal grace.
Then, their aim shifts. They send their poison blades towards Sakura, who looks up a second too late. And Sasuke knows shinobi law like the back of his hand; 'The medic is the last to die. Save the medic, save the mission' has been beaten into his mind since he was a child. But in this moment, none of that occurs to him. He does not think of glory either. (Glory is a self-serving goal, and for all his faults, Sasuke's actions have never been self-serving. Everything he has ever done, including – especially – revenge, has been for the sake of the people he loves.)
The only thing he thinks as his blood pounds and his legs throw him into the air is save her, save her, SAVE HER.
And then he is crashing down, body impaled by sleek metal dripping with death. His ears ring, vision blurs, mouth coughs blood. The rest of the team, now mostly healed, strikes back at the enemy with a vengeance. Sakura is by his side, her glowing hands steady but her face shaking with tears. He cannot hear what she is screaming at him, cannot hear anything at all. He stares glassily at her, all pink and green blurring around the edges, and thinks to himself that this is the ideal way to die: hearing nothing and touched only by love.
Already, Sasuke can see his name, all hard lines and black strokes, freshly carved into the village memorial stone. Kakashi will have one more person to think of, when he stands in that open field every morning. Sasuke hopes Sakura and Naruto will visit too, at least sometimes. Just to prove that he was really there, that his life was not just an endless cycle of hatred and blood, that it had meant something in the end.
He lies there as feeling leaves his body and his pulse fades to nothing. With the last of his strength, he pulls Sakura's wrist down until her face is directly above his. He wants her green eyes to be the last thing he ever sees.
Sasuke will never live to see 30, or grow grey hair, or find out what Kakashi's face looks like. He will never share more than these past 19 years with his friends, or see Konoha fully rebuilt, or watch little Uchiha children run around his estate.
Sasuke will never be able to tell Naruto what an inspiration, what a journey, what an honor their friendship has been (despite their disputes), will never be able to tell Kakashi how truly sorry he is for betraying the copy nin's rarely-earned faith, will never be able to tell Sakura he loves her.
Only his name and memory will live on, spoken with pride and honor as others exalt his skill and sacrifice.
Sasuke was never in it for glory, but maybe glory is all he is ever going to get.