A/N: Holy shit, I am tiiiired.
Its 7:30 am and I have been at this ALL night.
O.O Hope you all enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS.

"I'm outta reasons to believe in me
I'm outta tryin' to get by
I'm so afraid of the gift you give me
I don't belong here and I'm not well
And I'm so afraid of this lie I'm living
Right on the wrong side of it all.."

Chapter 6 : The Gift

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

That sound is really annoying. I grunted in resistance to the sound, then I heard something shift. I felt my chest squeeze and my eyes shot open. I sat straight up and was startled to see curtains drawn around me, and my father sitting next to me. He grabbed my hand and stood. What had happened. Panic had me again and Dad began shushing me.

"Easy now, lass. I got ye." His voice was warm and he pulled me in, smoothing my hair down.

"Dad?" I croaked out, needing answers. "Why...How'd I get here?" I tried to pull away, and finally he loosened his grip and sat back in the chair. His blue eyes were circled in darkened skin and bags were hanging under. He was exhausted. I'm sure I looked like quite a sight. Without seeing or touching, I could feel my hair was all over the place. This hospital gown was a sight, too. I had an IV in my arm too. Really? I hated needles on myself and felt queasy.

"What's the last t'ing you remember Amelia?" He asked, wrapping my right hand up in both of his. I furrowed my brows then winced, why the hell did my face hurt? I licked my lips and touched my left cheek with my free hand. OUCH! I winced and looked to him. "Black eye." He replied, a little anger laced in his voice. "But go on, whats tha last t'ing you remember?"

I thought long and hard on it. I remember the boys coming over. I stitched Murphy up. They were drunk, I had one drink...then nothing. The harder I tried to remember it, the more shaky I became. Did I fall or something?

"Uh, I remember Connor and Murphy comin' over. They had been in a fight. I'd stitched up Murphy's eye brow. We sat on the couch, had one drink with them after I played nurse...my nerves had been shot. Then I think I fell asleep." I closed my eyes and noticed how dry my mouth was. Head was kind of hurting too. "That's all I can remember. I feel like there should be more but for the life of me, I can't remember Dad." He nodded and patted my hand. He wore his usual slacks, but he had a sweater on and his hat.

His mouth was drawn in a tight line. I withdrew my hand from his and gingerly rubbed my eyes. I felt as if I had lost something. The feeling nagged at me, making me restless. Obviously the old man was aggravated about something.

"How'd I get a black eye?" I asked, genuinely curious. Hello, my poor face! Dad sat back in his chair and fidgeted. Thumbing the pulled thread on the seams of slacks. I waited impatiently as he looked for the words to say.

"I was gettin' ready to start on my way home when da boys called me. Said you'd fallen asleep and woke up in a fit. Said ye were stumblin' all 'oer tha place. Scared 'em. Connor explained how he'd tried ta restrain ya from gettin hurt but ye' landed a solid one ta his jaw. Murphy finally grabbed ye and Connor knocked ye out." And now I knew why he was angry. But, I had done all that? That didn't sound like me. I'd never thrown a proper punch my whole life. Confusion and anger ripped through me before it settled down. I groaned and laid back down.

"That's...crazy." I mumbled, shaking my head slowly. "I punched Connor?" I asked, needing to hear my Dad confirm it.

"Aye, he had a right nice welt too. I bet it'll be a nice bruise by now. An' I'm glad." The venom in his voice quickly dissipated when I shot him a stern look. I was a little irritated myself, but Connor would never intentionally hurt me unless it had to happen. I know this, my heart knew it too.

"He wouldn't do this out of spite Dad, not to me." I paused and wrapped my arms around myself. "I must have been totally out of it." My voice was soft as I tried hard to remember anything. I looked down and noticed the little bit of bruising skin on my knuckles. Indeed I had hit him.

"When I got home, they had laid ye on the couch. They were right panicked. Scared the shite outta me. I had seen tha living room and thought tha worst...gave them a right ringin'." He looked up at me and sighed. An apology written all over his face. "I'm sure I'll be havin' to say a sorry soon." I nodded and motioned for him to continue. "Thought Murphy was gon' ta cry at one point. I called an ambulance and they stayed until the EMT's got ye on a stretcher. Ye were out cold. The boy's offered ta follow to da hospital but I made a few threats..."

"Dad!" I groaned and felt my heart drop a little. He held his hand up in surrender.

"I know, I know!" He said defensively and stood. He pulled out his pocket watch and shook it. "I'll go call em. I'm sure tey are worried sick. T'ink they've had enough time to stew..." Again, I gave him my 'I'm pissed all to hell' glare.

"Yes, call them! I want to see them. Shame on you Dad!" I could just see Murphy and Connor, ashen faces and apologies falling out of theirs mouths with every breath. My gut twisted. It was apparent to me now how much I adored them...they are the only real friends I have ever had. My Dad excused himself, then another man walked in. His long white coat and stethoscope tipped me off. Doctor. He better not be trying to stick me again, had I been awake for the IV I would have fought like hell. I internally shivered knowing I had one.

The man was tall and actually quite handsome for an older man. His salt and pepper hair was very fitting for him. He had soft brown eyes and must be avid in the gym. His shoulders and arms were taught under his scrubs.

"Hello Amelia. I'm Doctor Harris, call me Tony if you want. Formalities are for the birds." He sat down on a squeaky stool and toed himself close to my bedside.

"Howdy." I said, not feeling the need for the pretensive patient act. Tony didn't seem to mind it, he got right down to business.

"Alrighty, well first thing's first. How do you feel?" After he asked, he slightly slouched and seemed comfortable.

"Fine I guess, just a tiny headache and my face hurts." It was the truth, it'd be nice if he had a pill for memory loss. Dr. Tony nodded and took out a small light and rolled it between his hands.

"It's typical to have a lingering headache after some head trauma, the sore face we can chalk up to the shiner you are rocking so well by the way. Very...rough around the edges." He winked and I smiled. "So your father gave me the details about what had happened, said you'd woken up from a pretty lively nightmare?" I just shrugged and pulled the hospital blanket away from my legs and moved to the edge of the bed so he could get a look at me.

"Wish I could confirm it, I can't remember anythin' about waking up or tearing down half the furniture in our living room." I wiggled my nose as he stood and clicked on the light. He checked my eyes and I followed his finger.

"Well..." He paused his words while he turned the light off and stuck it back into his pocket. "You've suffered a minor concussion. Don't think it was from the black eye, you've got a pretty good bump on the back of your head. I'm going to assume that's why you can't remember anything." He took out his stethoscope and I tugged my gown down enough for him to stick the cold metal to my skin. "The black eye will go away after a week or so, just put some cold steaks on it and you'll be fine." The humor in his voice made me grin despite myself.

"I'll do that, nothin' better for pores than raw meat." I joked back and he smiled, with drawing the instrument.

"Haha, yes ma'am. I'm sure you'll regain that little bit of memory you've lost. Being back home might trigger it, or you wont ever get it back." He gave me a small smile. "By the sounds of it, you might not want to remember it." Tony looked thoughtful for a minuet then took out a small prescription pad and scrawled some stuff on it. "I'm going to write you a prescription for some light pain killers. I am also going to give you my card..." He ripped the piece of paper off and handed it to me, along with a little business card. "If you have more dreams like the one, I want you to come back. A simple sleep aide might be the trick."

I stared at the papers in my hand and scrunched my nose again. "Thank you, but I have never had a dream like that before. I mean, I can't remember it...but I know before this I've never been much of a vivid dreamer. Maybe it was just a freak occurrence?" I said hopefully, I really did not want a repete performance. Tony tapped the card.

"Could be, or it could be something more serious. But do contact me if you have another one. I have a wonderful team." The doctor smiled and motioned to the curtain. "You can go home whenever your ready, I am going to finish making my rounds and the nurses will handle your paperwork. I hope you feel better Amelia and you get some rest." He stretched his hand out and I shook it, feeling like I was just Jedi mind tricked...in a good way. As he left, I looked around for my clothing and seen nada. Great.

A few minuets later Dad returned and seemed relieved. I gave him a small smile in return, still kind of mad he'd jumped the boy's asses. "Ran inta the doctor, said yer free ta leave. I got ye pajama shorts, figured ye can jus' put my coat on o'er it till we get home." My face fell and I huffed. I didn't really have much of a choice.

"Tell me you at least have shoes for me?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Grabbed ye boots on tha way out tha door." Thank god. I nodded and then remembered.

"Call the boys?" I asked hopeful and he rolled his eyes.

"Aye, I told em you gave me a ringin and said I was sorry. Said we'd be home in a bit. They said they had ta work but they'd be o'er directly after." I smiled and hopped off the bed. I slipped into my shorts and stepped into my boots. I'd seen I still had my sports bra on so I shrugged out of the gown and took Dad's heavy wool coat. It was rather big on me but comforting. I buttoned it up and didn't even care about my hair.

We signed papers and got into Dad's old Buick. It took us about 30 minuets to get home in the morning traffic. We had to stop and get my prescription filled, too. So that added a few extra minuets. When we got back, he insisted on helping me up the stairs. I let him, knowing it would help him with the whole 'father duty' feeling he got. But, I didn't really mind. I know I'm lucky to have a good parent, well two good parent. SHIT! Mom! I froze right as I got in the door.

"What about Mom? Did you call her?" My eyes were large but he pushed me towards the couch. Then I seen the mess. It shocked me. Sure enough the pretty lamp was in a million pieces all over the floor, the tiny wooden table knocked over. I flinched, seeing the damage. "Damnit." I stated.

Dad brought me over a glass of water and a pill from the bottle I'd gotten. "Ye sure do no how ta bring tha house down, lass. S'okay though. Can replace a lamp, not you." He kissed my forehead and went to go get his broom and dust pan. "Called yer Ma, told 'er you were fine. Said you'd slipped and hit yer head on the furniture..." He trailed off, and I gaped at him after I swallowed the pain killer.

"You ACTUALLY lied to Mom?" I blurted out. He looked shameful but pointed his finger at me, blue eyes seeming to light up.

"Hey, I'm na proud of it...but yes. I lied." He gave me a pensive look and scratched the five o'clock shadow on his face. "Knew I had ta do it. You looked as if ye'd tear me into fer gettin onto tha boys. If she'da known about it, you'd never see em again. Her wrath is biblical." Though my father was completely serious and 100% accurate, I had to laugh.

"Ain't that the truth!" I chuckled and took a deep breath, seeing the living room slowly light up with the rising sun. Yesterday felt like ages ago. "But thank you, Dad." For a moment we shared a look and then he went about his business. I made my way to my room, where I promptly passed out.

That pain killer must really have some good mojo because I slept all the way up until the evening. When I woke up, I heard voices through my bedroom door. I felt kind of groggy but made my way to my feet. I wiped the little bit of slobber off my mouth and strained my ears. The heavy Irish accents told me that it must me Murphy and Connor. I smiled. Then I got nervous, I really hoped they weren't upset at me for the ass chewing my Dad said he gave them. Uhg! Well better get it over with.

I kept my shorts on from the night before and threw on a muscle shirt. I checked myself over in the mirror and gasped. I looked terrible. No wonder Dad was so upset. My left eye was bruised angrily and slightly swollen. I winced as I touched it and sighed. "Well shit." I mumbled. I looked like I'd been on the bad end of 15 rounds. I hastily pulled my hair up on top of my head and secured it with an elastic. I took note of the bruised knee and shin too. How'd I get the bruised shin? Hard telling. With a deep breath, I eased my door open and three sets of eyes met me.

I gave them a small grin but it completely fell with I seen the faces on the boys. They looked terrible. They too had bags under their eyes and the lack of sleep rolled off them. Sure they were hung over too. Murphy's face was scattered in bruises from the bar fight, and Connor wasn't much better. I took note of the new purple bruise making it's way known on Connor's jaw. I took a few steps and licked my lips.

"Guess we match now, huh?" I said. I tried cracking a joke, but the wind was quickly knocked out of me after arms swallowed me whole. Connor had me in a vice grip.

"Amelia, I am so sorry. I'd never hurt ye on purpose, love." He pulled away for a moment to inspect my face. I felt a little deja vu as he grabbed my chin and tilted my face up to look at him. His eyes said it all. He was mad at himself and regretful. Connor gently touched my face with his other hand. I tried not to gently jerk away when he touched the bruise, but it hurt. Again, he pulled me in and planted a long kiss to my forehead. "So sorry, Ná arís, aingeal beag ...(Never again, little angel..)" I felt terrible.

"I'm okay Connor, really." I tried to passify him. After he started letting me go I reached up and patted his face. "Really, I'm okay. I can't remember anythin'." I tried to make light of it, but he seemed offended.

"Nota big deal? Amelia, you got a concussion! Yer Da told us!" Connor argued, but I groaned and looked around him to my Dad who stood at the island counter in the kitchen. I glared at him. I righted myself and looked right back at Connor.

"It was a MINOR concussion and your fist didn't do it. Most likely me hittin' the floor or.."

"Was da coffee table." Murphy said just loud enough to be heard. I brought my arms out and huffed.

"M'kay, the coffee table. I'm fine. No walkin around me like I am goin' to break or have a seizure or somethin'!" I took a breath and scratched my good eye brow. "If'n I take to a seizure, surround my ass with pillows and take a video." This made Connor's face drop.

"It t'at possible?" Fear laced itself in his words and I had to snort, letting out a laugh.

"No Connor, I was just jerkin' your chain hun. Calm down." I grinned and leaned up, kissing his cheek. He didn't say much else, letting me get to the other Macmanus brother needing a hug. Murphy looked unsure for a moment as I came to stand in front of him. His eyes averted from mine and I felt my heart sink. I seen out of the corner of my eyes as Dad pulled Connor towards the door. When the door clicked, I looked back to Murphy. From these past few weeks I have learned hie's the more hot headed one, and he was the hardest with dealing with emotions. He was standing there, reminding me of a scolded little boy.

"Hey..." I said, reaching out and grabbing his wrist. I gently shook it and stepped in closer. He looked up, eyes mirroring what his brother's had. Angry and sad. I gave him a small smile and pulled him in for a hug. After a second he gripped me tightly and I took him in. Murphy smelled like cigarettes, but I didn't mind. For a minuet we stood there in silence and he pulled away, examining my face. I waited for him to say something, but he sighed and pulled me back in. My insides were melting. The attention these two gave me rendered me speechless most the time. I adored them both, but they also caused conflicting feelings deep within me. Sometimes Murphy had me feeling like this, then other times it was Connor.

But my thoughts were held back ad Murphy's hand wrapped itself at the base of my head. His finger's slid gently into my hair line and gripped. My reaction was to hold onto him tighter. He was searching for the words, settling more to show me. I nodded and snuggled my nose into his gray shirt. "Bhí tú ar mo aigne an lá ar fad a bhí buartha, cailín óg tinn.(You were on my mind all day, was worried sick dearest girl.)" Once again, I had no clue about what was said, but the tone of his voice tipped me off to it being sweet. I smiled and pulled away, looking up at his beautiful face.

"I have no clue what that meant, but it sure sounded purdy." I played up my accent and he finally gave me a smile. I touched his face and looked at his eye brow. "How're you?" I asked, genuinely curious. Murphy just rolled his eyes and pulled me in for a kiss to the temple.

"You get ye'self concussed and yer worried bout my stitches?" He made it sound as if it was ridiculous, asshole!

"Well yeah! I'm proud of my handy work, fuck tard." I growled at him playfully and Murphy shook his head. He took a deep breath and cast another look at my black eye.

"It's fine. Pretty sure ye Da and Con went ta get some dinner. Need anythin?" The little glint in his dark blue eyes told me he was indeed changing the subject, and I'd play along for now.

"Alright. Well, I am goin' to go get a shower while we wait. I'm nasty." I wrinkled my face and took a few steps away. Then I stopped, turning back to face him. He was about to light a cigarette. "I told Dad you two would never harm me by choice. I dunno what happened, but I am sure it freaked you the hell out...but thank you for doin' what you did. I'll tell him too." I scratched my neck nervously and then continued on to find fresh clothes and a shower.

***Seether - The Gift ***