WTF is Fairytail On?!
This fanfiction is rated T for teen because of some language and innuendos. If you get offended lol this is fanfic get over it
This is also a semi-parody meaning things will not make sense and I'll purposely write awful and spell names wrong for comedic effect (though I fail at it so I'll just look like an illiterate sh*t)
It's mosty a bunch of random shit. It takes place at random times—like it could be before the timeskip sometimes or after it sometimes. I'll usally state the arc or whatever.
Hell knows I don't own Fairytail. Belongs to Mr. Hiro Mashima.
Chapter 6- LUCY QUITS CLICHÉ CHAPTER
Loosy wuz enjoyin hir tym at da Ferry Tel gild. She smyl az she thunk abowt al da tym she spint dere. Al da fyt, al da fun, and all da drank. Moest uv all she thot abowt her nokkumuh, how dey al had eechutha bax, n how dey wuz homiez. It wuz like errtime she kneeded halp knotsu grae n airzuh wud come sev hur no matir wat : wineva she got kidnap, wineva she hurt, wineva wutaver. Wen loosy finellie git 2 gild she walk in hapi; but erry1 els is sylent and luk rite at her. Loosy chukkle nurvisly, wat wuz goin on?
"hai conna!" loosy saiz to hir drinkin frend. Conna stairz loosy an shek hir hed b4 drinkin barryl of wine. Instead loosy goez up 2 mirrorjane and sit at da bar.
"hey mirrorjane, can I hav smoothie?" mirrorjane tirn around slowly wyl smiling.
"no u thirsty fanservice ass bish." Mirrorjane replied still smiling. Loosy eye widen n she swet drawped ril big.
"wut?"
"bein helpless is not a man." Shelfman sed shekking his hed.
"neether is bein a thottie." Listana said scowlin at da blawnd. Loosy gulped—wtf wuz goin on. She den felt a tap on hir shouldr wich wuz reveeled in a yelo tank top—she also wor a jeen mini skurt 2day. She turn 2 see bff, r.o.d, main shootaaa knotsu.
"knotsu wtf is goin on, erry1 is bein so weerd to me." She aks smilin. Knotsu cleer his throte.
"loosy we needa tok. Rite now. It impurtant." She clapz excitedly.
"Oh abowt wat?" gray luks at da floor, and airzuh browses thru instagram on her fone.
"we cem to D-sijjin dat ur a puthetic ho who iz yoosless n cant fite wittout keez." Knotsu saiz scratchin hiz hed. Loosy fes fell.
"we r kikkin u off da strongest teem." Airzuh kuntinyooed.
"n replesing u wit listana." Listana cheered n got n loosy fes.
"HA BISH WAT NOW BISH U AINT SO HOT NOW HUH BISH?" listana sed n loosy fes—the blawnd wuz about 2 cry.
"that enuff listana." Mastir moporoff dryer sed. He clymed on da cowntir and siyed. Listana bakked off and restd her hed on natsu, who kised do wyt-hair gurl 4hed.
"but y? I gud fo da teem, im kute do!"
"loosy hurtfellia." Mastir sed cleering throte. "sins u no lawnger part of strawngest team—and u was da reazon our gild had got deestroy by fantum lord; we kik u out uv ferry tale." Loosy gasp n fel to da grownd. She cudnt beleeve wut she wuz heer as teerz got in hur eyes, she cuver he mouf.
"NO U KANT, THINK OF ALL DA STUFF WE DID TOGETHA! AL A BATL! ALL DA LAFF!" knotsu laffed n erry1 laffed so hard they wuz crying.
"BRRUUUHHH IM DEEAADD loosy u funny." Grae sed wiping his teerz away. "bish u don't fite, all u do is get kidnaped n run out of magic pwer." He saiz crossing hiz arm as ppl stop laff.
"n get ur cloze ripped off." Airzuh saiz scowling at do blawnd gurl.
"the trooth is, ur completely yoosless esset 4 fansurvis." Conna adds. "I donut cur if u help me in s clas xam."
"that dint hapin yet conna." Mirrorjane wispurs singy-songy as conna swet drop rilly big n walked away. Loosy siyed. Sudinly, mirrorjane cem up n slap loosy rilly hard on da fes.
"OW BITCH WTF WAS DAT FOR? DAMN! I THINK U SLAPPED THE HO OUTTA ME!" loosy sed—she luks down n is still waring a minny skurt n tenk top. "o nvm."
"it to get gild mark of. Duh." Mirrorjane saiz as if ovvyus. Loosy held hir fes n cryed.
"BUT MY GILD MARK ON MY HAND!" she yells, shes so sad and upset.
"not animor loosy luk at ur hand." Loosy luk hand! Hir gildmark gon. Grae n knotu pikked loosy up n threw her out da door.
"don't come bak."
"or will kill u n eat u" mirrorjane adz in a man voyce. Loosy dusted hurself off.
"ITS OK BC I QUIT FERRY TALE!" grae gev her a look.
"bitch r u dum u cant kwit we kikked u out."
"ya I can."
"no, actually u cant wtf"
"I KWIT I DON UT KNEED FERRY TALE." Wit dat she run off crying 2 house. As she reech da rivr she tek her keez from powch and luk at dem.
"I'll show them niggas who is yoosless." SUDDENLY A WILD KEVIN HART APPEARS!
"bitch DID U JUST SAY NIGGA? UR WHITE!" loosy shakes her hed, her eyes big.
"NONONON I PROMISE I DINT." Kevin hart giv her a look then walks off into da sky n disappears into da clowds. Loosy walk inyo her house n sat on da bed. After a wyl she got up n went in her bafroom.
"I ned new luk."
The neckst day loosy wuz still kinda sad but gawt up. She wnet to clozet n saw she dint hav gud enuff cloze dat was badass. She grab munny n went to da mall.
She walk in n saw so much shit she needed she bot black combat bootz, sum wit spyks, she bot lotz of blak skin tite lether leggingz, sum wit rips, n she bot nayv bloo, tite, tenk tops. She den bot a lether crop sleevles vest wit a lite grey hoodie n grey drawtringz. Wen she got howm she d-side she need new hair.
Dar wuz no way in hayl she wuz cutting her buyitiful blawnd hair… so instead she pin da sidez to da back n a middle part wit curlz, n magically she grew hiur hair all da way down to her butt.
"im reddi now."
4 MONTHS L8ER
Loosy walk thru town uv magnoilia n hurd widpurs all around her.
"is dat her?"
"loosy hurtfillia?"
"da water dragin slayr?" loosy turned to fes dem n smiled.
"YA ITZ ME THE 1 N ONLY BOOBOO TAKE PICS NO OTTOGRAPHS; DON'T BE THIRSTY." Erry1 clap essited bc loosy wuz here. She smiled n went wur she waz hedded: ferry tale.
She hadnt bin der in 4 months but she knew it had proly changed. She opened da door slowly n peeked in.
Erryy1 was doin wut dey usually do, knotsu n grae were beeting eechother up, gooviya was drooling ova grae, levee wuz reeding n gosheel wuz workin out. Listana sat wit airzuh n dey talked. Loosy strut n erry1 stawp n luk.
"…loosy? Is dat u?" loosy lukked knotsu n scowled.
"wtf do u think, flamebrain? Oi wut are u blind" knotsu luked taken aback. " n ur breff stank go away." She then stud der as mastir shuk his hed.
"loosy u not aloud bak hear."
"ill do wateva da fuk I want thank u ver bluddy much." Listana got up and wooked ovr 2 loosy.
"its 2 l8 loosy. Knotsu ollreddy propozed 2 me." She showed loosy da huge ring.
"DAMN! THAT THING IS HOOJ!"
"HE GOT IT FROM JARED!" listana sqeelz.
"AAAYYY" loosy approves
"AAAAYYY" listana replies. "n.e. way bish wat u want u lurker?" loosy smiled eviily. Dis is wat she wunt.
"I WANT TO FITE KNOTSU, GRAE, N AIRZUH." Erry1 gasp. "n then I want to kell listana." Erry1 gave loosy a look as airzuh laffed.
"u think ur shitty keez can beet me? Da power uv I FIRE dragin slayer?" loosy bent ova laffing.
"bruuuh ur so funny u think I still do dat nigga?" kevin hart looked at loosy frum de ceiling. Upon seein him loosy gulped n shook hur head. Kevin disapperd into da clouds again.
"wtf do u meen? Ur majickless now? This'll be eazee."
"no. IM A WATA DRAGIN SLAYR." Loosy sed prowdly. Suddinly windy, gosheel, n natsu laffed so hard.
"bitch dragons aint here no more how u learn?" windy sed as ppl luk hir bc she cuzed.
"BITCH I AM A DRAGON! I TOT MYSELF!" loosy screems. Den hir arms turned into dragin wingz n she slap windy across da floor. She den opn her mouth n gt reddy for water roar.
SUDDENLY A WILD GILDFARTZ APPEAR
"NNONONONONON BITCH U AINT A DRAGON SIT UR ASS DOWN !"
"ur not zeref dis isnt ur part"
"BISH I DO WAT I WANT SHUT UP CONNA"
"okay daddy"
"wut"grae sed
"wtf" levee sed
"daddy bish did u call me daddy?" conna slam hur hed down on tebl. "ANYWAY U AINT NO DRAGON BITCH CALM THE F DOWN FOH"
"I SHALL DESTROY FERRYTALE! I WILL TAKE OVA DA WERLD! I AM DA ILLUMINATI NEEYEGGAA!" loosy get reddy to spray da wotter errywhere n kill everybody
SUDDENLY A WILD JAY Z APPEARS!
"uh, oh no hold up bish did u say iluminati? Last time I checked dat was me not u shawty." Knotsu skrunched up his face.
"ew u suk at rapping."
"yung blood how u gunna say I stink, bish pls ur hair is pink."
"ITS SALMON BC SALMON MANLY AF DOE DAYUM BRUH!" knotsu begin cryin "OLWAYZ TRYNA ROSTE A BRUTHA!"
"ok dis chapter too long its six pages" suddenly zeref walk in
"NIGGA WHERE WAS U THIS CHAPTER TOO LONG!" zeref holds up shopping bags frum urban outfitters.
"sale, bitch. ANYWAY THIS CHAPTER IZ OVER! YALL GON LEARN TODAY!" zeref gathers a dark boll of energy but b4 he releese it da illuminati tek over everyone except jay z dies the end.
Idk tbh