"Respectfully Hokage-sama I must decline. As the clan head of Hyuga I cannot allow myself to be placed in such a dangerous position." Hiashi said quietly.

Tsunade looked at him. "You cannot refuse an S-rank mission. That is the law as for you as anyone else."

He stiffened a bit. "Lady Tsunade my clan and I will serve you in this war. I myself will, of course, go into battle. However for the sake of my clan I cannot put myself into a situation that seems likely to end with high casualties."

"Thanks for the positive outlook." Kakashi put in.

Hiashi frowned at the copy nin. "I do not question any of your abilities. I merely state the obvious, that such a mission is too likely to be at high cost whether it is successful or not."

"This is war, there are going to be casualties." Tsunade said coldly. "There already have been. I am doing this to protect Konoha in the long run. But so long as Orochimaru is alive he will pose a serious threat. I will do anything, including sacrificing my own life, to end that threat. In the last war you were one of our finest front line combatants. I asked you here because you are the strongest of the Hyuga and your skills may well make the difference between success and failure."

He bowed slightly to her at the praise. "I thank you Hokage-sama, but never the less I cannot put myself at such extreme risk."

Tsunade frowned at him. "That is not your decision. I expect every last shinobi of Konohagakure to obey orders and you are not an exception. Either you obey my orders or you resign as shinobi right now and I will choose the next leader of your clan. And don't tell me I can't, in war time the Hokage has special powers which include naming leaders of a clan that have suffered a loss at that position."

Hiashi stiffened. "You are burning a great many bridges here today Tsunade."

"That's Hokage!" Asuma said sharply.

Hiashi ignored the outburst. "It seems I have no choice then, I will go on this mission. However I will not forget this."

"Oh I'll just bet you won't." Tsunade said.

XXXXXXXXXX

Twenty minutes later Tsunade brought the meeting to a close. But Shikaku approached her. "Hokage-sama, may I have a few minutes of your time?" He looked to Asuma who was about to leave with the others. "Could I have Asuma stay as well?"

Tsunade looked at him in surprise. "I still have a few things to do today. Could this wait until tomorrow?"

Shikaku shook his head. "I don't believe so. It involves Shikamaru who is waiting outside. He took the loss of Naruto under his first command very hard."

"How hard?" Asuma asked worriedly.

"He is ready to give up being a ninja." Shikaku said quietly.

Tsunade looked at him. "And he is waiting outside?" Shikaku nodded. "Send him in."

When the door to her office opened Shikamaru slouched in, the indifference stamped on his features. He was dressed in a grey jacket and black fishnet shirt. His Chunin vest nowhere to be seen. He came over to her desk and without ceremony laid his hitai-ite down on it. "Hokage-sama, I officially resign my shinobi status; I want to be an ordinary citizen." He turned around to head for the door.

"Sit down Shikamaru." Tusnade said wearily.

He stopped and looked over his shoulder at her. "There is nothing you can say that will change my mind. I am not fit to be a shinobi."

She frowned at him. "I said sit your ass down citizen."

He slouched over to a chair in front of her desk and collapsed into it. "If you're going to call me a coward don't bother, my dad already tried that. Anyway I know I'm a coward."

Tsunade ignored him as she took a bottle out of her desk along with a shot glass. She slapped the glass down in front of him and filled it. "Drink." She said as she put the cork back in.

Shikamaru looked at her in real shock. "I'm thirteen!"

"Think of it as medicine for the soul, now drink it."

Making a face he picked it up and swallowed as fast as he could. He made a face as he set the empty glass down. "That's horrible!"

His dad chuckled. "You'll learn to like it."

Tsunade nodded. "Now what is all this garbage about you resigning?"

"I have simply come to realize I am not cut out for being ninja. I thought I understood what it meant, but the reality is different." Shikamaru paused and took a breath. His voice came out unsteady. "Naruto died because of me."

The three adults looked at him with sympathy. "No Shikamaru," Tsunade spoke gently. "He died because of Sasuke and because he was assigned to a mission beyond what he and the squad were capable of. I gave you an impossible mission, one that should never been assigned to a team of a single Chunin and Genins. Though I know it doesn't seem like it, you did an excellent job to accomplish as much as you did. If anyone in this room is to blame it is me."

Shikamaru looked down. "I should have called it off, I should have told Naruto not to go after Sasuke, I should have never let Chouji fight alone, I should…" His voice choked and his shoulders began to shake wearily. "I could have saved him!" He sobbed out.

Tsunade came out from behind her desk and knelt before him. She put her arms around him. "I know, I know…"

"Hokage I…"

But she just shook her head. "Shhh, it's all right. Shed your tears for him, and let your heart grieve. I have cried for him too. Your tears make me think more of you not less." As she continued to hold him Asuma and Shikaku each put a comforting hand to a shoulder. They both lent him their silent support.

After a few minutes Shikamaru regained his composure. "Hokage-sama, thank you for your kindness. But I am afraid my decision stands. I can't be shinobi; it's more than I can bear."

Tsunade nodded sadly. "The way of the shinobi is the way of honor and of death. It is hard, but it is not for nothing Shikamaru. We are the guardians of Konoha and of every single person who lives here. We give our lives and our very souls to protect the things and the people that we love." She took a deep breath. "When I was younger I lost the two people I loved most in the world. My little brother Nawaki was killed in his very first battle when he was just twelve. And the man I loved died in front of me because His wounds were too great for me to cure."

Shikamaru looked up at her. "How did you deal with it?"

She looked at him sadly. "Oh I came up with the same solution you did. I ran away. I left Konoha with Shizune and I vowed never to come back. I spent years trying to deal with the loss. Then I ran into the brat." She smiled at that memory of a fiery little kid threatening to beat her up. "He reminded me of what mattered the most to my loved ones and of all the things in this village that are good and worth sacrificing yourself for. Naruto convinced me to return and be Hokage. He reminded me of my duty to my village and my people."

Shikamaru was silent for a bit. "Are you glad you came back?"

She nodded. "Yes, even in spite of this tragedy I know that the village is better off with me than without me. I know what my duty is and that even if it is hard I must do what is right."

He looked at her. "So you're saying I can't resign?"

"No, if you want to run you can. I certainly won't stop you. Just know that you make a difference, that others count on you. You are shinobi and that is a precious and hard thing." She paused. "We are about to go war Shikamaru."

"What?!"

She nodded. "We are about to start a war with Sound and I know that means that many of our ninja will die. But I have chosen to start this war anyway in the hopes that it will lead to a greater peace once the threat of Orochimaru is gone. There will always be death Shikamaru, nothing you do can change that. But perhaps if you are there, fewer will die and you can make a real difference. Asuma is going to be the commanding general and he asked for you specifically as his aid. Will you just sit by and watch while others go to fight?"

He looked up. "Is this true Asuma?"

His sensei nodded. "We are going to war and the Hokage did name me general. And I can't think of anyone I want more by my side than you." He tried to give him a smile. "Maybe if you are I won't make a complete mess of things."

"The village needs you son. I've lost friends and I know how hard it is. But you have other friends who will be in danger soon. Will you stand aside and do nothing?" His father said.

Tsunade reached over and took the hitai-ite and held it before him. "I am going to ask every single ninja in this village to risk their lives to guard and protect Konoha. I ask the same of you Shikamaru. I ask you stand with us in this hour of darkness."

Shikamaru looked at her and he nodded. He took the hitai-ite from her. "I rescind my resignation, I won't abandon my friends."

She nodded. "Thank you."