Seven women sit in the room, when Josie enters in her first meeting; one is a pretty Latino, one is an Asian, to her surprise, and the rest are Caucasians. All of them are dressed in rather expansive outfits. The youngest is around 30 years old, the oldest is at least 40 years old. There is also a Sephardic Jewish psychologist, whose name is Judith Toledano. According to the website, she has obtained a PhD in developmental psychology from an Ivy League university. She wears a tiny golden tree of life necklace. With a strong East coast accent, she declares that the theme of the meeting is 'how to define the meaning of true American Grit in the new Millennium.'
With a shaking voice, Josie delivers her self-presentation for this group. "My, My name is Josephine Geller. I live in Chicago. Through an internet forum, I found this group meeting. I hope, oh, I hope I will be able to collect as many experiences from you as I possibly can. I hope I can prepare myself well for our forthcoming adoption." Afterwards, her both palms are moist.
The youngest Asian woman says at once "It is so nice to meeting you, Josephine. To which country are you going to travel to, to get your kid?" Thereafter she scrutinizes Josie's left ring finger and asks "Are you adopting alone, as a single mother?"
Josie suddenly realizes that she does not have a ring on her finger. How could she ignore such an important detail? This also remains her that she needs to have a photograph of Sam in her wallet. She just hopes it will not be difficult to convince Sam to take a photo with her. Also, she needs to make up a story about their romantic past, which leads to his grand proposal. It would be nice to tell the lady what a beautiful proposal in Vienna or Madrid her engagement was. She takes a detour in her mind and envisioned a romantic proposal, in a balmy Spring afternoon. Sam, her Samuel Nicholas gives her an elegant ring, which Zelda would have on one of her fingers, when taking a sojourn with Scott to France, also a dozen red roses afterwards. Sam would probably read a charming passage from one of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poems. If he would like to propose in Vienna, they would probably attend a fancy party afterwards and dance along a dramatic piece of Waltz, which was composed by Strauss, under grand crystal chandeliers, which are lighted up with candle lights. If their engagement takes place in Cordoba, they would probably go to a cosy Oriental tavern and have a fancy meal with lots of fresh vegetables and tasty herbs, whilst the violinists playing Granados' Spanish Dance passionately. As an Andalusian senorita for a night, she would wear a red Flamenco dress, a cute silk mantilla, which is fastened on her hair with a handmade wooden peineta, when dancing with Sam.
"You'd better think one more time, if you really want to have a child on your own, especially if you considering to adopt an infant, who cries a lot in the evening." A modulated voice takes her back from her reverie. A blond woman with a thick ponytail, who wears a dark brown coloured blouse and a fancy white skirt sermonizes with a serious complexion. "As a single career mother, it is difficult to pull everything together. The kids are not always cute and fun, especially when they are tired or hungry."
"I have a nice husband at home, the matter in fact, and his name, his name is Sam." Josie stammers with a quiet voice, as if she were afraid that someone in her groups would uncover her disguise and accuse her for acting as a charlatan in such a personal meeting. "He loves children. And, and he loves me." A signal flashes quickly on her telephone, there is a new message from Sam. "Good luck with your first meeting with the ladies in Madison."
"You will be fine, if you are on your own, without a drunken Irish husband, whose devotion to Guinness or Bushmill single male is a billion times deeper than his attachment to you!" A sarcastic voice comes from a skinny lady, who is busy checking her finger nails. "Although he wears adult jackets och has an American driver's license, when he talks with his mates, the only subjects they would touch upon are either the latest ball games or the important pub nights with the lads. His cute accent becomes a painful remainder of how foolish you once were, when you let him cast a spell on you with his charming singing voice, a set of excotic vocabularies and his vintage photographs from the Ring of Kerry, which his grandfather took, when the fanciful American automobiles still were a symbol of one's position in a callously stratified society." There is a strong determination in her eyes, which penetrates through the entire room; her sight is as sharp as a Celtic dagger. Josie cannot make up her mind whether she should laugh or cry. In comparison with her tragic story, the romantic fantasies, which Jossie has recently been through in her day dreams, are only bizarr, juvenal illusions, which she is ashamed of all in a sudden.
Slowly, Judith stands up. With a kind voice, she attempts to direct the topic towards the theme of the day. "Ladies, I think Audrey has just demonstrated for us how important it is to be a tenacious mother, a safe haven for her offsprings, with this personal narrative. Thank you, Audrey for sharing your story with us today!" She clears her throat discreetly. "Let us talk about how to cope with constant stress, day after day What is your take on this, Cynthia?" She directs her eye towards the Latino lady. "In the previous meetings, you have described a number of times, how often your husband, Anthony, traveled month after month. How do you do?"
Cynthia gives Josie a polite salute with her eyes and replies with a tired voice: "Tony was the one who wanted to have a child from Romania from the beginning. He has a bunch of relatives, who moved to the US from Wallachia fifty years ago. When we brought the boys home, Claudiu was already eight years old and Dorian was five. On top of this, our daughter, Alice, was only two years old. It has been a constant battle. Sometimes, no, every day, I think I need to to give up, to walk away from this mess, with Alice." After a short stop, she continues: "It has been three very, very difficult years." Her tears pours out. "I am so ashamed that I want to abandon those two boys, but… But I just do not know when things will turn around."
Audrey gives Cynthia a hug. before she delivers her comments: "It is crazy that the boys still talk with each other in Romanian at home, after they have lived in Wisconsin in three years. I can imagine the feeling of being an Alien in your own house. All their friends are Romanian speaking kids in school. It is strange that Tony only wants to be a fun dad, and shovels all the responsibilities to you. What a cynic world!"
The discussion turns to such a serious lamenting session after just a few minutes, despite all the women have such happy profiles in the forum, showing up the photographs of the interior decorations of their homes, the perfect smile of their children, their after school activities, the joyful family vacations. Josie excuses herself by asking where the bathroom is. She has to get out of this asphyxiating room at once, to escape from the miserable family tragedies for a moment. What is real? What is an illusion? No one plans to go through a dreadful marriage with a handsome, well-paid and narcissistic husband, who treats his wife like a pretty Barbie doll, who is happy and content all the time, despite all difficulties. The tormenting pain and the terrifying loneliness which destroys their mental strength slowly, becomes only more and more unbearable with every day it goes, whilst the gentlemen continues with the same family routine days after days. The good-bye kisses are nothing more than a standard procedure each morning. The weekly coitas only satisfies the basic biological needs; when eating the family dinners in the evening, all they exchange with each other is either their children's next activity or which bills they need to pay in the near future. It is difficult to speculate why the husbands no longer pay any attention to their wives' inner world, their opinions upon various political reforms or artistic development, although they continue saying the magical sentence 'I love you' every day. Their adopted children are too young to understand the feeling of being an inadequate mother, who does not have the slightest ability to understand how their idea of the prevailing social convention functions. When the women are all by themselves in the morning hours, the feeling of being left alone by the entire universe, terrorizes them frequently. All their childhood dreams are as far away as the brightest nova in the midnight heaven.
At last, Josie walks in again and joins a new heated discussion, regarding how to be stoic and fair, when their adopted children keep revolting day after day. Many children, who have lived in a orphanage for a number of years, suffer some severe mental disorders. The memories of living in a overcrowded confinement, moulded their special social instinct. Due to various different circumstances, the staff in their orphanages have never assessed if some of the children might be autistic in one way or the other. As a new parent, their first challenge is to establish a mutual trust and respect, despite the cultural barriers. By listening to different women's experiences, Josie realizes that some of adoptive children are reluctant to trust their American parents, who occasionally have shown some disdainful attitude towards their old homelands unintentionally.
When the meeting is finally over, Josie is overwhelmed with all new impressions. The predicament of becoming a mother, when the adopted child refuses to bond with you open-heartedly in any circumstance, is only a dismal reality, it is the worst nightmare for someone who have tried so hard for such a long time to become a mother. When most women have scattered away, the young Asian woman, Rui-Kim, approaches to her and asks: "Are you alright? You look sad, Josie."
"I am okey, I think. It is just, everyone has such a sad story to share with the group. I am not sure..." Josie is still shaking.
"It is a good reality check. Everything you read from the newspaper is how a child would complete your life; or how much joy and happiness a vulnerable teenager would bring to their new adoptive family. There is always a different reality, when the camera has turned down. " She puts one hand on the banister and gives Josie's hand a cordial squeeze with another. "Your experience might be very different. The happy mothers do not participate this group meeting."
"I know what you mean." Josie murmurs.
"I will see you next week, if you still want to participate this meeting. I have two hours of driving ahead of me now." Rui-Kim vanishes soon from her sight.