Here we go guys, second to last chapter. I really hope I'm doing these characters justice from the way I've portrayed them

I don't own Criminal Minds

When the heart grieves over what is has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left

-Sulfi Epigram

"Hey you're back," Blake said when she saw the young genius at his desk one morning. It had been two and a half weeks since the funeral, and so far everyone was back at work except for Reid and JJ, who were out on medical leave. The team had lost its sense of cheeriness and control. It now took them double the amount of time to close cases, and when they got back they went their separate ways. She was devastated to learn that Rossi was leaving now too, but she understood why.

"Yeah I am," Reid replied. "The doctors cleared me yesterday, now all I have to do is see Cruz about my psychiatric evaluation."

"And you don't want to go?" Blake questioned, picking up on his distasteful tone.

"What I don't want is for someone I don't know to ask me how I feel. Somebody who lied about knowing JJ and put her in danger," Reid snapped, but Blake brushed it off. She had already been warned that Reid would most likely lash out.

"What if you could talk to Morgan or even Rossi?" Blake suggested.

Reid only shook his head, "Morgan made it pretty clear he didn't want to be the one to talk to us, and Rossi's leaving in a few days."

"How do you feel about that?" she asked.

"About Rossi leaving?"

Blake nodded.

"I get it," he answered. "I just don't want to see him go."

"You don't like change," Blake stated.

"I guess you could say that," Reid said. He was calmer now. "Ever since my dad left I would always take it personally. Then there was Elle, Gideon, Emily, Maeve, and now Hotch, everyone leaves. Most of time I never get to say goodbye."

"You know all of those people care a lot about you Reid," Blake soothed. "None of them wanted to abandon you."

"The worst part is that I can remember everything about that night."

Reid heard the gunfire before he saw it. The nest thing he felt was Hotch tackling him to the ground.

"Stay here until the firing stops," Hotch ordered.

"Okay," Reid said. He could feel his head throbbing from where it had hit the floor of the warehouse. He watched as Hotch ran over to JJ, who had apparently been shot. He lifted her before he fell down himself. Reid watched in horror as blood began to form around his boss. He stumbled for his gun and effectively shot both unsubs down in a blind rage.

JJ was screaming to the rest of the team that Hotch had been shot. Reid ran over to where they were position.

"JJ I need you to move so I can attempt to stabilize him," Reid ordered, attempting to remain as calm as possible. After JJ had moved, he began to summon his knowledge from all of the medical books he had read. Hotch had been shot in the small area that was not covered by vest.

Reid tore away a piece of his shirt, and tied it around the wound to help stop the bleeding. Hotch hissed in pain, and gripped onto JJ's hand harder than he already was. Reid could also see that his knee was twisted from when he fell carrying JJ.

It was then that the medics arrived and pulled him away from his boss. They insisted on loading both him and JJ into stretchers, and when Reid was wheeled outside he could see the whole team waiting for them.

JJ insisted on going in the ambulance with Hotch, but Morgan and Rossi kept saying no. Until finally, Morgan pulled JJ away from him, and carried her to her own ambulance.

"I'll get checked out as soon as we get to the hospital, just let me go with him," Reid said to Rossi.

Rossi just nodded and let Reid into the ambulance before shutting the door behind them both.

Hotch looked worse than when Reid saw him only a moment ago. He was pale, fading in and out of consciousness, with blood lining his mouth.

"Reid I need you to say goodbye to me," Hotch said hoarsely.

"No you're gonna make it. We're on our way to the hospital now," Reid protested.

"Reid-"

"Hotch I can't," he protested again.

"What did you tell JJ when Prentiss died?" Hotch reminded him. He knew how important this was to the younger man.

"That I never got to say goodbye," Reid admitted. "I'll say goodbye for now, because I'll see you when you come back."

So right there in the ambulance, with the machines beeping, EMT's talking loudly, and the sirens blaring Reid said goodbye. Hotch gave a relived smile as he heard.

Reid nodded again, wiping away a tear. "You know when I first started at the BAU I was younger than everyone else. Hotch and Gideon used to look out for me, other agents weren't always nice."

"It can get pretty high school around here," Blake observed light-heartily.

He gave a small smile, " I've never told anyone this, but I kind of thought of them as surrogate dads. Hotch even taught me how to use my gun, Gideon said I didn't need it. When Gideon left I guess Hotch took over full time. There were so many times he should have just fired me on the spot."

"Hotch wouldn't do that, no matter how bad you got," she said.

"I would lash out and yell at him, officers, and even JJ. Not to mention I had a drug addiction that should have cost me my job."

Blake widened her eyes at the revelation. She never knew. "But you're better now?" she asked.

"Yeah I'm fine now," he said. "But Alex, what am I going to do?"

"I'll talk to Cruz," Blake offered. "See if I can be the one who talks to you, not as an evaluation, but as a friend."

Reid smiled, remembering that was what Hotch did when Emily had 'died'. "Thank you."

It had been a year since Reid had seen his mom. He knew he should visit her more often, but with work and the travel he just never got around to it. When he saw her sitting in the sitting room among the other patients., Reid was shocked. She looked healthier, and was smiling. He hadn't seen her look so good since before his dad had left. "Mom!" he called.

Diana Reid looked up and gave her son a smile and a wave. She almost ran over to where he stood. "Oh Spencer," she said when she pulled him into a hug.

"Hey mom, how have you been?" he asked.

"I've been doing fantastic," Diana replied, "And I've gotten all of your letters."

"That's great," Reid said. Even though he couldn't see his mom all the time, he still made sure to write her a letter at least once a week.

"And I'm so sorry about your friend," she added. "From what I can remember he seemed like a nice man."

"He was," Reid replied, "But it helped me realize what's important. I could die any day, and I want to spend those days with my friends and my family."

"It's good that you can see the good in things Spencer," his mom said proudly.

"So do you want to go out to lunch?" Reid asked.

It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty

-Dalai Lama