Summary: On the eve of his brother's test for the Einherjar, Loki aspires to be more like Thor. Unfortunately, the sorceress he seeks for aid has other ideas—that the Odinsons' happiness can only be obtained through understanding of each other.
This Chapter: Thor learns of his father's secret, and Loki remains unsatisfied.
Author's Note: Before I get going, an anon brought up a few good points that I want to address. Probably most important is Heimdall. Since the majority of this story was in Thor's POV and Thor never got around to considering Heimdall, the subject never really came up. I implied in Chapter 1 that Loki has the ability to hide things from Heimdall at this point of their lives. One reason Loki's energy for magic is constantly drained is because Loki has been doing so for the entirety of the story, with the exception of last chapter when Thor almost died. So technically, at that point, you could say Heimdall found out. I'll leave that thought to you as you read this chapter.
Secondly, no, Thor did not suddenly become skilled at using daggers just because he was determined lol. They are both princes of Asgard. I assume that they would have spent their entire lives becoming proficient in several weapons (including daggers and swords), and while clearly neither is their favorite weapon, they can use both to a fair degree. In addition, I've implied this whole time that Loki's senses naturally pay attention to detail better than Thor's. So Thor, with better-than-average training already, found himself determined and in a body that was faster, more attentive, and more used to wielding daggers than usual. Therefore, he had slightly improved aim for all three reasons. You might have also noticed that Loki's aim with daggers was a bit off during the fight. Same reason.
Anyway, happy Sunday, everybody. I decided to just update today because I am so sick of this chapter and want to move onto other things. This is the final chapter! I don't think there's much room for any continuations, oneshots, or anything, so I am sorry. I will be posting other unrelated stories later on, but for now, I hope you enjoyed this one. :)
Freaky Thorsday
Chapter 6: "Truth Is"
Thor wakes up less pleasantly than he did two days ago. It's excruciatingly hot, he's still not in the right body, and he doesn't know what's going on. On top of that, he feels like someone clobbered him with Mjolnir after a Bilgeschnipe ran him over.
"Werrammaii," he slurs. He means to ask where he is, but he can't get his mouth to cooperate.
"Drink this," someone murmurs, and Loki knows without a doubt that it's his brother. A water skin pushes at his lips, and he opens his mouth and guzzles down as much water as he can get. "Slowly," Loki cautions, but Thor doesn't listen. It's unbearably hot, and he is so thirsty.
He tastes iron in the back of his throat, and it reminds him of the stinging pain on his shoulder. "Huuurts," he says.
The same voice from before chokes out some sort of sound—almost a sob, but Thor doesn't think Loki has any reason to be crying.
"I know, I'm sorry," Loki says.
His brother sounds odd. And he rarely apologizes for anything. Awareness crawls over Thor's consciousness, and he blinks open his eyes. They haven't moved from the caverns of the volcano, so that explains the heat. Above him, Thor's vision clears to see Loki's face.
Loki's eyes are red and twinkly.
When Thor looks down at himself, he sees the red cape wrapped around his shoulder where blood has drenched it completely. His hand rests on the hilt of his hammer, and Loki's hands are shaking as they put the water skin away and adjust Thor's make-shift bandages.
Thor realizes what has happened. He knows very well how it feels to look down at someone he loves and think that they aren't going to make it. He remembers holding Loki's crumpled form during the night with the Bilgeschnipe so many decades ago, and once the adrenaline had worn off, he hadn't been able to keep himself together. Unconscious, Loki never knew Thor's moment of weakness.
Thor reaches up with his uninjured arm to grab Loki's shoulder. "Hey," he says softly, "are you all right?"
Loki shivers—it looks odd in that body, but Thor sees the familiar gesture clear enough. "You almost died," Loki says. Somehow saying it causes renewed tears to burst from his eyes, and Loki fights back sobs.
"It's okay," Thor murmurs and tugs Loki closer to give him a half hug. "It's okay, I'm okay now." He clasps the back of his brother's neck and squeezes reassuringly. His grip is weak but it calms Loki the same way it normally would. "You could have gotten me out of this dreadful heat though."
Loki snorts through his tears. "And leave your hammer behind after all that fuss in the ocean?"
Thor laughs a little too, but it ends with a grunt of pain. His shoulder burns with each movement, and the heat makes everything more intense and achy. Loki sits back and starts to collect the knives and a few of their belongings he has brought down here.
Then Loki moves to pick Thor up.
"No, wait," he groans as Loki touches his arm. "The dragon—we need its head for proof of our victory."
Loki raises an eyebrow. "I can't carry you and a dragon's head."
"I can walk."
"No, you can't. Besides, I got your proof already." Loki fishes in his bag and then pulls out a large fang, the size of his head at least, and then puts it back in the bag at his belt.
Thor admits defeat. Loki carefully swings Thor's arm over his head, and even though Loki naturally is careful, it's hard for him to make his body obey. Thor grunts at every contact with his shoulder, but holds back most of them because he doesn't want to make Loki feel any more guilty than he already looks.
Once Thor settles in Loki's arms, Loki stoops a little. "Can you pick up your hammer?"
His uninjured hand hangs down near Mjolnir, and he grasps it. "Yeah," he says.
Then, Loki starts walking. The climb back up through the crevice takes longer than it should. Loki has to adjust Thor so that he can use one of his hands, and Thor can't keep both arms wrapped as tightly around Loki as he needs to because one of them holds Mjolnir and the other throbs with agony.
Eventually, Loki brings them out into the night, and the cool air greets Thor's overheated body. Thor moans in pleasure at the welcome breeze and the sight of snow. Loki smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Try not to get too excited. You'll have to walk when I start shivering," Loki says.
Thor grins. "I can walk now if you want."
"I'm fine." Loki's smile fades. Moonlight shines over his face and reveals more of the redness under his eyes and the firm set of his jaw. And Loki holds him so tight as if he's afraid Thor will slip away.
His little brother hurts for some reason—and he doubts it's just because Thor almost died. Thor doesn't want to outright ask, because rare as Loki's mood is right now, Loki always pushes people's concerns away as if they delve into something humiliating. Thor wants to understand, so he thinks long and hard about how to phrase the question.
"What are you thinking about?" he chances.
Weary eyes glance at him before turning to the path ahead. "The enchantment," he says.
Thor believes him, but he senses more. "And?"
"The quest was supposed to switch us back," Loki says quietly. "It hasn't yet."
Thor's brow creases. "Brother, I'm not angry, if that's why—"
"No, it's nothing like that." The snow crunches louder when Loki picks up his pace a little. "I just thought that I came to a point where I understood what I needed to do to lift the enchantment. But, it didn't work, and so I don't know what I'm still missing."
His brother speaks vaguely, and often Thor finds that he doesn't understand what's going through his head. This time is no different, but he can sense the incredible weight looming on Loki's shoulders and he wants to make sure Loki knows he is heard. "Anything come up yet?" he asks.
Loki's jaw tenses. He doesn't speak for a long moment. "Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough," he says so softly in a normally booming voice that it comes as a surprise.
Thor frowns. "What do you mean?" but Loki already shakes his head, and the conversation is over.
A sigh flies through his lips. His brother's arms are starting to shake with cold, but Thor doesn't want to interrupt the silence to tell him to let him down. Loki stares off into the distance with a lost look in his eye, and nothing Thor can think of sounds like the right thing to say. Instead, he stares at his brother and wills as much warmth and happiness as possible to find his heart.
Suddenly, the snow stops crunching as Loki lurches to a stop. Sunlight begins to leak over the mountain, the first sign of morning. "Thor," Loki says, "I think you were right."
Thor bites his tongue to avoid telling his brother to put him down. Loki needs this conversation more than Loki is shivering. "Right about what?"
"I—I'm just making excuses. It doesn't matter what body I'm born with. I should be working to be as best as I possibly can be, and not claiming my failures as inherent. I'm—I'm sorry, it's my fault you got hurt. My fault th-that my body is so—so weak—"
"Loki." Mjolnir falls and collides on the ground with a loud thunk. Thor brings his hand up and claps his brother's neck. "Loki, no, that was not your fault. You warned me about the tail, and I was careless, as I've always been," Thor says as he swallows his pride. "Actually, I see now that you were right."
Loki looks towards Thor without really seeing him.
Thor squeezes harder to drive his point home. He wants his brother to see. "Loki, when we were going down to fight the dragon, I did a lot of thinking—"
"Oh? No wonder you got hurt."
Loki's way to avoid serious conversations is always to make jokes, so Thor ignores him. "We had more pressing concerns at the time, so I couldn't voice my thoughts, but you are right. We are born a certain way, and because of that, certain things are impossible."
"So instead of failing to be strong, I am born to be weak," Loki mutters. "Is that what you're trying to say?"
"Don't twist this." Thor pushes at Loki's shoulders with his uninjured arms until Loki finally relents and sets him on the ground. His shoulder throbs, but his feet plant on the ground easily and regenerated blood allows his vision to remain clear of dizziness. "Loki, listen to me," he continues. "Yes, you were not born as I was. You have to struggle to keep up with us, and especially after the fight with the dragon, I understand that now."
Loki's mouth opens.
"No, let me finish," Thor hurries to cut in. "But Brother, you have much to be proud of. I went in there fighting as I always have and almost died. Not only have you been a worthy ally and companion at my side for years, but even when we switched forms, you were able to adapt more quickly than I could ever dream of."
Loki shakes his head frantically. "Thor, stop."
"Listen to me." Both of his hands clamp down on his brother's shoulders, and even though he's two inches short, he is the older brother. "Your sharp mind kept us alive. You kept my head on my shoulders and solved our problem in the middle of battle. Your mind, Brother, your wit, your ability to adapt—these are all things that you should be proud of, regardless of whether you were born with them or not."
Unblinking, Loki stares at him. "Do you know why I wanted the Norn stone? Do you want to know the truth?"
Thor watches Loki's fists trembling at his sides and stays quiet.
"I wanted the Norn stone because I wanted people to see me. Like they see you. Instead, Karnilla gave me this." Loki gestures to Thor's body as if it is a disappointment and his chin starts trembling. "It was as good as saying that making people see me in my body is impossible. It was as good as telling me that the only way I'll ever be worth anything is to be you."
The admission stuns Thor to silence for several seconds. "Loki," Thor finally says. "You are so very valuable, to me especially. How can you not see?"
His little brother is crying. Without even speaking, Thor pulls him in to a tight hug and just holds him to ride the episode out.
A warm feeling tingles up his back, starting from his heels and moving to the very tip of his spine. He closes his eyes because things start to get very bright and dizzy, and when he chances to re-open them, he finds himself holding a raven-haired, shorter, little brother in his arms instead of the a blond and bulkier form of moments before.
They've switched back bodies.
Loki is still crying. Despite the joy surging through Thor's blood at finally being himself again, Thor doesn't want to interrupt the eruption of Loki's feelings. He releases his brother's shoulders and sets Loki down on a rock where he just cries into his palms. It hurts Thor so much to see how many tears his brother has held back for so long. When was the last time Thor praised him? He can't remember, and he will have to make more efforts in the future.
The sun rises over the peaks of the mountains, and Thor stands by his brother as Loki settles all the feelings he has held back for so long.
After a while, Loki begins to stir. His palms lower from his eyes, and he takes in the pale, smooth expanse of the skin of his hands. Then his eyes dart to Thor and then to his own injured shoulder, and he winces a little.
"Ow," is all he says.
Thor laughs and puts a hand on the adjacent shoulder.
"Remind me to compliment this Norn witch on her exquisite timing," Loki says. He wipes the evidence of the tears from his face and starts to rearrange the strips of cloth binding his wound together.
Meanwhile, Thor admires the view—or the sudden lack thereof. Before the switch, the vast ocean had appeared before him, water shining in an array of colors not unlike a sunset. Now the colors have dulled. His eyes can't detect anything but the grey sea, along with some reflection of the orange sunrise. While a part of him reminisces over the beauty Loki's body granted him, his eyes cross something he didn't expect to see.
"Loki, look," he says and nudges his shoulder.
Loki doesn't move for a moment, but when he does, his eyes glare as he lifts his head to see. "What?"
And there it is—the ship they abandoned in the storm, and it sails right towards them. After everything that has happened, it gladdens Thor to see the Norns bless them with one miracle.
Pleased, Loki smiles. "I told you they would make it."
Having presented the tooth of the slain dragon, Thor stands before his father and tells the tale of their quest. Loki covers the part where they stole away from the ship, because Thor has never been good at lying and he doesn't want his father to think they were abandoning the Vanir and Asgardians in the storm that they created, even though that's exactly what they did. No one had been harmed, but it isn't very honorable.
When it comes to the actual fight with the dragon, Thor pauses. It doesn't feel right to brag when he barely did anything. Thor holds out a hand and gestures to Loki. "As my brother played more of a role in the fight, I believe he should divulge the rest of our journey to you."
Odin's one eye remains unchanged in the usual kingly composure, but Loki blinks rapidly as if pulled from a deep sleep. He says nothing.
Fingers casually rested on Gungir, Odin lifts his head. "Well, Loki? I am interested to hear the rest of the tale."
Halfway through his step forward, Loki straightens with awareness. "I—I did little, Father," Loki says. "I did land a few blows," and Thor remembers the strike to the dragon's wing and the sword plunged into the dragon's tail, "and I cast a few spells," and Thor thinks about the orb of light illuminating the cave and the wall of magic saving them from the fire, even though Loki's reserves of magic were so low in that form, "but Thor is the one who cast the knives that slayed the dragon."
Then, Thor smiles. "Actually, Father, my knives merely marked the spot. Loki is the one who slayed the dragon."
This time, Loki cannot help it. "What?" he stutters. "But you—"
At the time, Thor had barely been conscious, but on their journey back, he did remember the roar of the dragon as Loki disappeared from his side. He remembered Loki's battle cry and the clang of metal against scales as he pierced the weak spot that the knives marked. "My brother thought to save me face," Thor continues, "and told me that it was I, who slayed the dragon, when in actuality, he thrust the killing blow while I was knocked out. He will keep to this lie now, if you let him, I am sure."
The whole audience room quiets in shock. After a few moments, murmurs in the crowd rise, some in awe that the Trickster would actually lie for a selfless reason, and others in outright denial believing Thor to be tricked. Thor fixes his stare on the All-Father exclusively and wills him to believe the story.
Gungnir's clang silences the crowd. "It brings me great pleasure to see my sons watching over each other," Odin says. "With that in mind, Thor Odinson, you are now of the same status as any Einherjar warrior. The celebration will be held tonight."
Cheering erupts all around them, and Thor grins, thoroughly proud and elated. He turns to his brother and swings an arm around him for a mighty hug. Loki smiles back at him, but his expression is still stunned.
"Thor, this is meant to be your moment," Loki whispers.
"It's no good without you beside me, Brother," Thor says in response and pats his brother's back. He makes a greater effort to be gentle, now knowing the irritating force his normal blows can cause. "Go enjoy the celebration. I will let you weave the story for the bards to tell."
Loki beams up at him, and Thor's heart aches at the sight. It's been so long since he's seen such pure joy on his brother's face that it almost blinds him.
After another quick embrace, Loki and the rest of the audience drains away from the throne room, leaving Thor and Odin together.
Despite the joy he feels, Thor cannot feel just. He cheated. There's no way around it. He lied to his father, he lied to his friends, and he is not worthy of Einherjar status. Loki does not deserve any more criticism, but Thor does have to tell his father the truth.
"Father," he says once the doors to the throne room close behind him. He kneels and clasps a fist over his heart. "Father, I have something I have to tell you, something I should have told you long ago."
"Yes," Odin says, and Thor looks up surprised.
"Father?"
"Queen Karnilla spoke to me of the enchantment." A wry smile crosses Odin's face. "I was wondering when you might work up the nerve to tell me."
Thor glances about the room and his fist falls from his heart, not sure what to do. He shakes his head and looks up at his father. "Then what about my . . . I don't understand," he says carefully. He expected to tell Odin the truth and have his father take away his Einherjar status. Now he doesn't know what to expect.
"It is true that you lied to me. I can see where you were coming from," Odin explains as he turns to the open expanse where the ever-changing atmosphere of Asgard turns red and gold and orange with the setting of the sun. "I have held back your quest for a very long time, because I was waiting for the right moment. Queen Karnilla gave me the chance I'd been waiting for."
Thor tilts his head back in complete confusion. "What?"
"This wasn't a quest to slay the dragon, Thor," Odin says. "You've already shown me your might and your courage for many, many years. Your final quest was to show your honor, your humility, which you have done today in more ways than one. First, I have on high faith that Queen Karnilla's enchantment would not have broken had you not come to terms with your brother's weaknesses or he with yours. Second, you sacrificed your moment of glory because you felt you did not deserve it. It takes a noble heart to step aside and shed light to your shadow."
A lump rises in Thor's throat, and his heart pounds in his chest.
"Third, and probably most importantly, you have been honest with me right now, even though it could mean losing the prize you have sought after for so long." Odin turns to Thor and smiles. Odin's smiles are so rare, and Thor's heart nearly floats from his chest. "I am proud of you, my son."
"I—thank you, Father."
Between his brother's elation and Odin's pride, he cannot remember a time where he was happier.
The bards leave most of his accomplishments out of the tale. Loki isn't surprised—they aren't Thor, who loves him no matter what, Asgardian values and expectations aside. But Loki's wine still tastes bitter. Taste and sound and sight is all abnormally bitter after dragging his feet so long in Thor's less sharpened senses.
He considered telling Odin the truth when they returned. He still considers it a little. Because he is irritated that even though Thor stepped aside and boasted of Loki's accomplishments to the All-Father and the entirety of Asgard, they all still have eyes only for Thor on his "big day." This celebration isn't because Loki finally did something worthy for once. It's because Thor became an Einherjar.
And little do they know that Thor has no right to be an Einherjar. Thor lied, multiple times, and were Loki to expose that, the Einherjar status would be ripped away from him. Odin might even respect Loki more, for being able to fight like a true Asgardian warrior, even without Mjolnir.
But Loki won't say anything in the end. Not because he doesn't want to—he wants everyone's recognition so strongly—but because he fears that telling Odin the truth will make everyone reject him even more than they already do. He doesn't want to see the disgust in his father's eyes. Loki participated no less in the lie than Thor, after all.
He sets his wine glass down and sighs. Thor will expect him to be happy, but as usual, he will only spoil the mood.
"Greetings, Prince Loki," a familiar voice greets. "I trust you found my enchantment to your liking?"
Loki glances at Queen Karnilla. "I don't have the Norn Stone," he says.
She smiles pleasantly and sits beside him. Now that she no longer hides beneath a hood, Loki finds himself studying the raven tresses of her hair wrapped into a headdress at the top of her head. The height makes her more intimidating, older. The woman in the tavern had seemed hardly more than a girl, despite the wisdom hiding in her eyes.
"I know," she says and surveys the crowd in front of them. "Your brother already returned it to me."
Loki rolls his eyes. "Sounds like him. Even a fool would have kept it."
"Your brother knew what he gave up when he held out his hand. He has learned much humility these last few days," Karnilla says.
Loki snorts. He doesn't want to speak to Karnilla because he still resents that she put him in such a situation, instead of just telling him from the beginning it would never work. She made his problems revolve around Thor, and he cannot forgive her. "You should go," Loki says. "I fear I may harm our kingdoms' diplomatic relations if I speak to you much longer."
Queen Karnilla's smile stretches, but weariness grows behind it. "You are not pleased then. What troubles you, young Prince? Have you and Prince Thor not reached an understanding?"
Telling Thor of his troubles was rare enough. He is not about to share secrets with strangers.
"Are you still jealous of your brother?"
"I'm not jealous," Loki says. "I just don't think he deserves all this attention."
Her fingers fold together over her lap, Loki notes. She appears thoughtful, careful. Her pale face wrinkles as she stares at him. "Yet I have already taught you it is only your actions you can control. Just as you cannot will people to look to you, neither may he will others to look away."
Loki shrugs. "He can be humble sometimes, but it never lasts. He does not think the way a king should, and in many ways he is still immature and rash."
"Yes, yes, he is." Queen Karnilla releases a soft chuckle as people start to crack their glasses on the ground. "As am I," she continues, "as are you, as is Odin, as are we all. Perfection is unachievable. We may only strive and hope to reach it."
The laughter of the crowd dies down, and Loki looks down at his untouched plate of food. "I just don't understand what they see in him. Why do they think he is perfect?"
"Instead of you?"
The following silence sends chills down his spine because she's right. He is jealous, as he always has been, and nothing ever seems to satisfy him. He thinks maybe Odin's appreciation will calm his racing thoughts of doubt and despair, but if he ever obtains that, will it be enough?
Queen Karnilla stands and stares sadly down at him. "Prince Loki," she says. "I misspoke when we first met. You are full of determination and courage, as would be required of any sane person in a position like yours—I only hope you realize it before it is too late."
Before his mind even fully processes the words, she is gone and Thor is beside him. He wants to laugh, scream, shout, and generally cause a scene, but Thor, the golden crown Prince of Asgard, has just allowed Loki to brag of his accomplishments to bards who will sing understatements to an audience that won't notice the difference. Debt forces him to stay in the chair and do what he can to hide the sickening turn of his thoughts.
"Loki!" He claps his brother on the back, and at least the thump is softer than it used to be. "You'll never guess what Father just told me!"
"What?" Loki says and sips again at the wine.
"Father told me that the next time he falls into the Odinsleep, he is going to name me King!"
Loki's mouth twitches into what appears to be a smile. "I'm so happy for you, Thor."
. . . The fates cannot be tested, but there are bridges—gaps in the future—and all Norns pray these holes will yield better results where tragedy has occurred. Queen Karnilla is no exception, and one may only hope for her efforts to create a brighter bridge. A future that perhaps can bring the two Odinsons' some reconciliation after the drastic changes that will soon shape their world for the worse. A simple coronation ceremony may sour the lives of many, but that end is only just the beginning of the story . . .
~The End.
Author's Note: Again, thank you for reading! I hope the ending left you somewhat satisfied... I hate endings that feel like something's missing, and hope this one didn't do that to you. Please, let me know what you thought, and I'll see you around! If you would like to talk to me/stalk me/whatever, I'm on Tumblr with the same username. Goodbye for now. :)