I'm so incredibly sorry I left you guys for so long! I tried to upload on christmas since I was leaving on holiday after that, but I couldn't get it finished.
Thanks for the lovely comments on the previous chapter, they made me super happy to read.
As a compensation for the wait, here's a long chapter (the previous one was supposed to make it up to this point, but it felt right to finish it before)
As always, thanks to .com for helping me with the minor details that always make me stop writing for hours.

It was really hot that morning. It wasn't weird, we were in the middle of summer, but this was a lot worse than I had expected. And to top it all, my head was killing me, and it wasn't even 8 in the morning. Luckily, our match was early – I didn't want Satoru pitching in the afternoon heat if possible. I got up and put my glasses on before heading for breakfast.

Everybody was excited and I couldn't blame them; we had been training hard for this and it was finally here…finally, we were back in nationals. Even I couldn't believe it. We had to be ready to get on the bus in 30 minutes, so breakfast offered a pretty funny scene: the first-years barely being able to eat anything due to the nerves, the managers trying to get them to finish their food, the second-years practically chocking themselves with rise and the third-years trying to keep their cool. Yeah, that was a sight I knew I would treasure for the rest of my life. However, the best part of it was right in from of me: Satoru was chewing slowly, trying not to show his nerves to anyone…man, being the starting pitcher must have been a bigger deal to him than I had ever realized.

"Remember to drink lots of water, we don't want you passing out today of all days, do we?" He just nodded, drank some water and went back to his rice. "Nervous?" He shook his head without taking his eyes off of his bowl. "Seriously?" Another nod. "Anxious?" He stopped eating for a while, chopsticks in mid-air, and then he nodded. "Don't let it get it to you, okay? You've got that number behind your back for a reason, so don't sweat it."

We kept eating in silence after that. After a while, the managers called us to get on the bus. The ride was interesting to say the least. Sawamura was screaming his lungs off, Little Kominato was trying to keep him as quiet as possible while Kuramochi threatened that if he didn't shut his mouth, he would gladly show him some new moves he had just learned, Nori was sitting quietly, although you could tell he was freaking out on the inside, and the first-years had their faces almost out the window trying to get air so as not to puke on the bus. And then there was Satoru, sleeping on my shoulder as if he didn't have a care in the world. I wish I could have grabbed my phone and snapped a picture of him at that moment – he looked so peaceful, so innocent, so goddamn beautiful, I just wanted that moment to last forever. But it couldn't, and soon enough I was waking him up to get to the stadium.

As soon as we got inside, we all stayed quiet for a while, some of us with our mouth open and I swear I heard some bags falling on the floor. We were there. We were finally there. After all those late practices, after all those screams, after all that sweat, after all those tears…we were finally there. The coach was the first to break the silence.

"You worked very hard throughout the entire year and even before that to get to this point. Don't let anyone, not even yourselves, take that pride away from you. You did everything by yourselves and this is the final result." There was a moment of silence. "And now a word from your captain." I let go of Satoru's hand, took a step forward and turned around so I was facing the team. Oh, well, here goes nothing.

"Just as Captain said, we worked hard to get here. We gave 110% every single day in practice and even more during each game. Nobody knows how much effort, how much sacrifice was given throughout this year but us. Nobody knows what all those late nights felt like but us. And nobody will know what standing on top feels like but us." There was a moment of silence when everybody's face started lifting up. "But to do that, we must treat each and every opponent like the last one. We must not show weaknesses, we must give our 200% on every single game, from the first one today to the last one in two weeks." That changed the look on their face a little. Damn, after an entire year I still wasn't good at giving speeches. "Come on, don't look like that, you're taking me too seriously for your own good. You should look like Sawamoron over there…just, with a little less screaming."

"What did you call me, you four-eyed bastard?" Yeah, that lifted everyone's mood. I think I even caught Satoru giving a hint of a smile.

"Come on, guys, we just have to get out there and play our style of baseball and we'll be fine. Now, let's go, our turn to warm up starts in less than 5 minutes."

Warm up went uneventfully, and, in the blink of an eye, we were lining up before the game. You could feel the tension between both teams, especially from our second and third-years. It was as if last year's national championship hadn't been revenge enough for that final match that ended last year's third-years baseball time. We wanted them to feel that pain again. To cut their season short. To see them suffering just like we had suffered. To see them shedding just as many tears as we had, if not more. Yeah, I was aware that revenge never leads to anything, but I didn't think any of us really thought about that at the moment. Seeing the Inashiro team lining up in front of us was making everyone's blood boil instantly. We just couldn't help ourselves – we didn't just want to win, we wanted to be the ones who made them lose, and we'd do everything in our power to achieve it.

We were attacking first with Kuramochi batting first. There was no doubt in my mind that he would get on base: he had always been a fast runner and he had been pushing himself even harder than ever before for the last couple of weeks to not only improve his speed, but also his batting skills. We wanted to win, and, to do that, we needed to be aggressive right from the start. I was batting second, which put somewhat of a pressure on us: if neither the captain nor the vice-captain could get at least a hit on Mei, we wouldn't simply be giving them the momentum of the game on a silver platter, the under classmates would probably freak out and lose their focus. We had to do this, it was our job. All we had to do was get a clean hit and, if possible, get on base to leave the stage ready for Little Kominato.

After a couple of foul balls, Kuramochi sent the ball flying right between second and third base and got easily into first. It was my turn. I just had to do what I did best. I gotta admit it, Mei had improved a lot since the last time we had faced each other, but I couldn't let that distract me, the black spots in my vision were doing that on their own for my mind to start drifting off elsewhere. I had to focus on the places I could see; I had to read Mei and foresee what he was going to do so I could turn my head and actually see where the ball was going. I could do this…it's not like I had never done it before, so there was nothing for me to worry about. After a couple of pitches, I could get a clean hit, though it wasn't as powerful as it should've been and I was out before I could reach first base.

When I reached the dugout, I saw Kuramochi staring at me with a concerned look on his face. I knew what he was thinking about, but it was just bad luck that got me out. I could still play in this game. I turned to avoid his gaze and found Satoru watching me with a strange look in his eyes. I wish he was a little bit more expressive; it really bothered me when I couldn't read a person. Then again, that was probably one of the things I loved the most about him.

"How was his pitching?" He asked after a couple of seconds.

"It's still not as fast as yours, if that's what you're concerned about." I tried joking about it, but he didn't seem to find it funny at all. "It moves slightly right before the plate, so we gotta be careful about that. Other than that, it's just like before. A little faster, maybe, but nothing we didn't count on." There was something that was still bothering him, I had no doubt in my mind about that, but he didn't say anything else and simply joined Sawamura who was screaming his lungs out.

When Kominato's turn came, we had runners on first and third. If he could deliver one of his crazy homeruns, we would take the first three runs and, with that, the momentum of the game. The audience was going crazy, which was normal considering that Little Kominato over there had made quite a name of himself during the year. All we needed was for him to bat like he always did and we would be able to relax a little bit during the remaining of the game.

When I heard his wooden bat break and saw the ball fly out of the park, I released a heavy breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. Everything was okay, even if I had been sent out, we still had the lead, and that was all that mattered.

The batters after that had it a bit rougher than us: it seemed like Mei still didn't take giving up runs very well, especially from the pinkhead, and his pitching became a lot more aggressive than before and so we were defending in no time.

The practice pitches went fine…kinda. There was something different from the way Satoru was pitching then from the way he normally did. There was something almost personal about them and I had no idea if it had to do with Mei and the pressure from pitching first in this game or not. I called the umpire and told him we were ready to start. I got down on position and started thinking. First at bat was Carlos…Damn, it looked like we weren't the only ones pulling our best tricks right from the beginning. But we couldn't get him on base no matter what – that guy was too dangerous once he got on base, so our only chance was to strike him out.

I called for an inside pitch and got ready. And that was the moment I realized the pitches weren't different from the nerves or the pressure or anything like that. There was something else, something he wasn't telling me. And it became obvious when he sent me a pitch straight to the middle. We were lucky Carlos missed the timing; otherwise we would have been in deep trouble. I called for a time out and approached him.

"What's with that pitch?" I asked him with my mouth covered.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said looking at the side. God, I didn't need that attitude. It was like we were back at the beginning of last year's first season once again. I thought we trusted each other on the mound after all we had been through together.

"You know very well what I'm talking about. I called for an inside pitch, not that. We are lucky he couldn't hit it."

"I just made a mistake, captain. You don't have to sound so mad." What the…?

"Captain? What is this all…? You know what, never mind that. You and I both know that was no mistake. You know just as well as I do that it was a very conscious decision you made right now. We are a team, remember? You have to trust me a little bit. I thought you did." I turned around after that, but I managed to hear a faint "so did I" from behind.

I got back in position and the game resumed. The sun was right in from of me by that moment, which made my blind spot all the more obvious. I called for another inside pitch and prayed that Satoru would do what I asked him to.

We somehow managed to strike out all three batters with Satoru pitching however he felt like. We were lucky we had the momentum; otherwise, we may have lost some runs. I got inside the dugout and sat down. Focusing my sight was proving a lot harder than before and I was starting to wonder just how much longer I would be able to hide it from everybody else. I was hoping for two more weeks, but it was becoming more unlikely by the minute.

By the fourth inning my head was starting to hurt like hell. I had taken a couple of pain killers, but they didn't seem to be doing much. I massaged my forehead and try to hide it by make it look like I was fixing my glasses. That's when Kuramochi approached me.

"You should rest, you're looking like shit." There was obvious concern in his voice, but all I could register at the time was that he was asking me not to play in the game anymore.

"Can't. I'm the captain, remember." I tried smiling, but even I knew it was doing no good to my case.

"You should rest for the rest of the game because you are the captain. You know better than anyone else that pushing you like this is not only bad for you but for the rest of the team. We are in charge of doing what's best for the team, even if it's not the best for us." I clicked my tongue at that. I knew that he was right, but I didn't want to admit it. I had done so much to play those two weeks; there was no way I would be staying out of it.

"If I make one mistake in the game, I'll leave the field. Is that good enough for you?" I stepped to go put my catcher gear on.

"I really wish you didn't have to wait to make a mistake to realize just how horrible an idea this is."

"You're worried about the team. If I'm not a bad player, then there's no risk, is there?" I turned around without even waiting for a reply. I knew he wouldn't agree with my logic, so I just focused on getting ready.

Inside the field, things weren't much better. The pitches I was receiving seemed alive, and if I had to say what was especially bothering me, I'd say it was that I could almost feel hatred from them, but that was probably just me reading too much into it. He was still throwing whatever he felt like throwing, but I had given up on trying to make him listen and decided to simply try to catch anything he threw. If I hadn't been so mad at him or if my head hadn't been killing me or if I hadn't been struggling with my eyes to see the ball, I would have laughed at the situation, saying it took me back to when he had absolutely no control and all he could think about was how amazing it was that he could actually play with somebody. But that wasn't the case. And it may have been the stress of the whole situation or my eyes or my headache or a combination of all three, but all I wanted to do was to scream at him and make him do what we had done best this past year together.

He didn't look like he was thinking something too different from me. Every time I asked for something, he would pitch the exact opposite. It was almost like he was trying to prove me wrong, like he wanted to show me that he was just as good, if not better, at reading the batter as I was.

I couldn't stand that tension between us. I wanted that game to be over so we could go back to cooking dinner and eating it together in my room. I wanted that, not whatever it was that was going on between us.

And then it happened.

I could still see it when I closed my eyes.

I had called for a fastball straight down the middle.

I knew he wouldn't pay attention to me, but I still hoped he would.

Even if he didn't, I would catch it, cause that was my job and I had promised I would always be there to catch whatever he sent me.

But the headache was too big and the black spots were getting more and more annoying.

So I lost my focus for a second.

Unfortunately, one second was all it took.

In the blink of an eye, the ball was in the plate and flying past my mitt. I tried to catch it, but by the time I realized what had happened, it was already too late: the whole stadium had gone quiet, but Shirakawa wasted no time and was running before I could move to get the ball. I threw it to first as fast as I could, but he had already gotten there.

All Seido fans on the stadium were silent. The Inashiro part of the bleachers, however, was cheering as if they had just won the game.

I looked in apology to the dugout, but by the time I turned around, the coach was already out calling for a change.

"Seido High change of players. In the place of #2, Miyuki Kazuya, enters #12, Ono Hiroshi."

At that moment, everything went blank: the sounds, the sights, the feelings…everything left me as I tried to process what I had heard. When Ono stood in front of me, I knew it was real, and my time in the field was over. I gave a defeated smile and left for the dugout.

"You said it yourself: if you made 1 mistake, you would leave the field. I trust you to fulfil your promise." So Coach had heard me talk to Kuramochi. Damn, there was no way things could have gone any worse than they had.

I watched the rest of the game and tried to cheer on the team, but it seemed forced, so I went to the back and tried to keep a low profile.

My mistake is probably what caused us the game, with me being the captain and everything. I gave up the momentum we had held up to that point and lost everything we had been working on for that time. Satoru's pitching didn't look too good after I left, either, and so Sawamura took the mound, but Ono hadn't had actually played on too many games, so it was hard for them to play well together.

In the end, Inashiro took the victory, and that means everything we had all been working for had been taken from us. I saw Mei when we were lining up. He looked happy, of course, but when our eyes met, there was something else. It was almost like he was disappointed in the game we had given them. Oh, well, I could live with that. What bothered me was the presence I felt from my right. I tried to push everything I was feeling from him and bowed and left. It was going to be a long ride back to the dorms, I was completely sure of that.

I sat on the bus and expected him to sit next to me, like always. However, when the bus started moving, I was sitting alone, and all I had with me was a text message telling me we needed to talk as soon as we made it to school. I shut my phone and leaned against the window.

"You wanted to talk?" I told him once we were in my room. I could tell talking here was most likely not the best idea, but I knew neither of us wanted to be interrupted.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Was all he said. Well, "whispered" would be a more accurate verb.

"Who told you?" I didn't even need to ask what he was talking about, I knew he meant about my eyes,

"Not you, and that's all that matters, isn't it?"

"I didn't want to make you worry." It was a terrible excuse and I knew it, but I didn't want him to be mad.

"And lying to me was a better option? This is your health we are talking about – it's not some stupid minor detail! I'm your boyfriend, I thought that meant we were there for each other in this kind of situations!" I had never heard him swear, or raise his voice, for that matter. It made me feel worse than I already did.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I just…I wanted us to go to nationals together once again."

"That didn't work too well, now, did it?"

"I'm sorry," was all I could manage to say.

"I really thought you trusted me, but I guess a trophy means more to you than us."

"No, no! No, Satoru, no, that is not true! You mean everything to me, everything."

"I don't know if I can believe you, Miyuki. After all, you lied to my face so many times, how can I possibly believe you now?"

I didn't like where he was going. I didn't like it one bit. My vision was starting to feel blurry and it had nothing to do with my health and everything to do with the fact that my worst nightmare was becoming a reality.

"Good-bye, Miyuki."

"No. No! Satoru, please! No!" I saw him walk out the door and I fell on my knees. That couldn't have been happening. It just couldn't. It was probably some horrible dream and I would be waking up in no time.

Except I would never be. Because it wasn't a dream. Satoru had really walked out of my life, and I couldn't say I blamed him.

I stayed on the floor crying non-stop until I heard a knock on the door. I ran to open it only to find Kuramochi saying dinner was ready. When he took a look at me, however, he invited himself in and listened to me cry until I was out of tears. He left to bring me dinner and we ate in silence. After that, he left and I was left alone with my thoughts, and that was the scariest place of them all.

The hours started to pass, becoming days, the days became weeks, the weeks became months and in all that time I couldn't feel less alive. I barely left my room. Eventually, the team started getting worried and bringing me food. I was still going to classes – I had to keep my grades up if I wanted to keep my scholarship in NYU after all. Besides classes, however, I didn't do much. I went to see practice every now and then, but I didn't stay for long before it started feeling awkward and I left.

Graduation came eventually, and, with that, came the goodbyes. Some of our previous teammates were there; some where expected (nobody thought Ryousuke would miss his "precious You-chan"'s graduation), and some weren't as expected (Tanba, for example). The underclassmen were also there. Well, most of them, anyway. I spent the entire evening looking out for him until I heard Little Kominato speaking.

"He's not here. Said he felt like running today."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He didn't push it. Instead, he simply gave me a knowing look and joined the others in the celebration. I stayed where I was for a while and when I had decided I had already cleared up my mind and went back and joined them.

"Don't go forgetting us just cause you managed a fancy scholarship in a fancy university across the ocean, okay?" Kuramochi received me with that comment and I couldn't help but smiling. He knew me better than most, there was no way I would forget him of all people.

"How is a scholarship fancy, anyway?" I asked back and it was soon followed by laughter. It was perfect…almost, but I didn't want to think about that. I was leaving in less than a month and I didn't want my last high-school memories to be sad.

We kept on laughing and talking for a while until my dad eventually came to pick me up since he was worried that I would get myself killed if I walked home by myself with my current vision.

Kuramochi proposed to take a picture, so we did that and with a last goodbye, I left Seido High School.

Before you leave a comment on how I'm an awful person, this is not the end! Okay? Calm down, calm down, calm down. Are you calm? Okay, good. I'm gonna write the next chapter as fast as I can so that you'll hate me as little as possible.
Okay, well...bye!