A/N - thanks for your patience! This one was a toughie. Here's a shout out to Jillian, if you're reading - thanks for my postcard, babe!

Chapter Six: Gone

Edward was wallowing.

"Cut it out," I murmured, emerging from the bathroom and attempting to twist a towel around my wet hair. I was barely coordinated enough to achieve a perfect towel turban with two hands, let alone one-handed. Giving up, I sighed and chucked my wet towel on the floor.

"What?" he said in a flat voice, that I supposed would sound quizzically polite to an outsider.

I glared at him."You know what I mean!" I half-yelled, aware that Charlie was still awake downstairs, probably on high alert for any signs of pain from me. When we'd arrived home an hour ago, we'd told him that I'd hit myself in the arm with one of the baseball bats. After turning blue with rage that Edward had endangered me - he had no idea, I really wanted to kick him for encouraging Edward's self-flagellation - Charlie had had to concede that it was really no one's fault but my own, and his concern was diluted by amusement. He'd said that he was proud of me for the force I'd put behind my swing, but with an aim like that, it was no wonder I was last pick in gym class. At this point, I'd stomped upstairs and feigned a hasty goodnight to Edward. There is only so much a girl can handle in one night, and Dad's brand of humor was pushing it.

So at this point, I was really mad. Edward had been distant for hours, and it felt like I was being punished, even though I was the one with the broken arm, not to mention some degree of subconscious psychological scarring, having survived my first vampire attack. I was in pain, I was loopy with meds, I was scared by Edward's reaction, and most definitely irritated. Perfect vampire boyfriend or not, I refuse to put up with this nonsense!

"You," I informed him, jabbing my index finger into his rock hard chest, probably not the smartest thing to do "are moping. Quit it."

"Bella..." He sighed and took me in his arms, and again, I felt that same terrified relief that stemmed from having provoked a response from him, ableit one that was slightly off. He was holding me, as I desperately wanted him to, but there was something wrong.

I tilted my chin up to peer at him, staring into his topaz eyes. "What's wrong?" I whispered. "I'm safe...isn't that enough?"

Edward's expression hardened and his fingers tightened on me for a moment before he gently rolled me away from him. I was cold in all the places where his skin was no longer touching me, colder than I could ever feel even against his icy body.

"No," he said shortly. "I threatened your safety tonight. I put you in harm's way - the one thing I swore never to do. You are miraculously alive, but that does not change the fact that you could have died - you could have been murdered by those nomads, or by my own brother," he looked sickened "by any one of my family."

"You know that isn't true," I blurted in desperation. "Alice, Esme, Carlisle...they would never..."

"Not in their right minds," he said shortly. "When it comes down to it, Bella, we are not human, and however much we act like we can control our natures, it is always a gamble. I've been fooling myself selfishly for far too long."

"What are you talking about?" My words came out in a gasp, distorted by my panic.

Edward removed his hands from me completely, and turned his head away, curling his fist into my bedsheet.

"This is wrong, Bella."

I said nothing. My head was spinning too rapidly to understand.

Still not looking at me, he went on in a rough voice that seemed on the edge of breaking. "I can't do this to you anymore. I can't stand the thought of what nearly happened this evening - what could happen again if I don't leave you to live your life in peace, the way I should have from the start."

I choked. "You're...leaving me?"

"We all are."

"No...no," I rasped. This had to be a nightmare. those pain meds must have done a number on my system, and right now i was in a deep, medically-induced slumber, and any minute now I was going to wake up, and the world would make sense, and Edward would be looking at me with love, not despair.

"Bella, it's for the best, it is," he told me, pleading with me to understand, to accept. I would never understand. I would never accept this.

"WRONG!" I shrieked.

Edward swiftly clamped a hand over my mouth and I struggled to free myself until he whispered in my ear, "You'll wake Charlie."

I went limp and glared at him in the realization that he'd likely planned it this way to avoid a scene: with how much force could I fight him if I was constantly in fear of notifying my father that my boyfriend pretty much slept over every night? Not that it mattered now...not that it would ever matter again...

"Please," I begged, tears streaming down my face. "Edward, you can't leave - I love you. You love me - enough that you would never hurt me! Isn't that enough?"

"Of course I love you," he said, his voice hoarse, his eyes hollow. "I care for you far more than you realize...which is what makes it possible for me to leave. I would die for you, Bella. I can find the strength to leave you, so you can lead a beautiful life."

"I don't want any life without you," I sobbed.

"Don't say that." The words whipped out at me, low and harsh. Edward caught hold of my wrists and forced me to look at him. "You musn't do anything to endanger yourself, Bella. Don't think like that. Promise me you'll be safe - if not for me, if not for yourself, do it for Charlie."

I shook my head wildly from side to side. "I'm not letting you leave. You can't - I get a say in this, too. And the others...are they leaving too?"

I regretted my question as soon as I asked. I waited with horror as he sat with downcast eyes in front of me.

"Yes."

I felt so dizzy that I fell back against my pillows, landing on top of my bad arm. I squeaked at the pain, and Edward's cool hands were quick to shift me. I didn't know whether to recoil at his touch or latch on forever.

"Are you alright?" he whispered in alarm.

I gazed up at him piteously. "How could you even ask that?" I rasped.

We sat in anguished silence for what felt like hours, and even as my heart was breaking, I clung to these continued moments I could share with him, not knowing how many remained.

"Edward, please..." I whispered finally, unable to take it anymore. "You can't do this. Without you, I'm nothing. You're my everything."

Edward smiled sadly. "That's not true. You are my everything, it is true - but you were here before me, and you'll go on long after me. I won't hurt you anymore, I'll no longer steal the light from your life. At first it won't be easy, but soon enough it will be like I was never here at all. You'll have your life back," he broke off, unable to contain the bitterness and anguish coursing across his face.

There was nothing I could say to change his mind. I had used everything I had.

"Alice...Carlisle...Esme...Emmett..." I murmured each name like a prayer for the dead.

"They're already gone. They wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced them that a clean break would be best."

Pain wracked me, pain that had nothing to do with my injury.

"Where?" I demanded. "Where are you going?"

Edward shook his head. "It doesn't matter." Just as I was about to protest, he stood.

"It's late," he sighed. "You'll need rest if you want that arm to heal."

"Don't - don't," I began to hyperventilate, shaking hysterically until he grabbed hold of both of my shoulders and kissed me.

"Goodbye, Bella," he whispered, his lips parting mine. He drew back and kissed my forehead, my eyelids scrunched tight in misery. "I love you - I will always love you."

"Edward..." but when I opened my eyes he was already gone.