Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT
Chapter 6
I'm leaning back on my bed, a hand clutching at my chest as I struggle to calm my racing heart. When I manage this I stumble out into the main area and hear Casey digging around in the kitchen.
"Casey?" I manage to call out.
"Get out here…what the hell is the gibberish on your lab's walls?" I hear him reply, "Do you have anything to eat besides this?"
Casey's alive.
I slowly approach and stare at the man in front of me, Casey looks horrible, ragged around the edges and very tired, he almost looks thin. Then I realize it's because he's lost muscle mass.
"It's a theorem I'm working on…and no…I don't," I mumble, "You're alive…"
He turns to look at me, blue eyes drilling into my soul.
"So are you…it's been six months, thought you would've contacted me or something by now," Casey replies stiffly, "You look like shit."
He ends our conversation with a finality that startles me. Casey was never so to the point about things, usually more easy going and suggestive.
"You don't look the best yourself," I hear myself say softly.
I honestly don't know what to do here, how to respond, how to act, let alone how to approach him. With all of my great calculative skill, there is still no way for me to calculate Casey's response to my presence, after all, it's because of me his best friend and his wife are both dead.
Casey grunts before opening one of the empty cabinets and sighing in frustration.
I suppose I can do nothing more than wait, and with that I slump into the nearest chair, ignoring my bad leg's twinge of pain.
For some reason I suddenly feel ill and I struggle with the idea that Casey will leave and I'll be alone again.
He might not trust me or want to be around me…but he's the only family I have left and if he were to turn his back on me and leave…it would be far worse than him being dead.
"Have you been down here the whole time?" Casey inquires gruffly.
"Yeah," I whisper.
He slams the cabinet door shut, before throwing the mug he had been holding at me and I flinch in surprise as it shatters on the ground beside me.
He's going to kill me.
I start to struggle to my feet, when he moves towards me. I have never been scared of anyone so much in my entire life.
"You were down here? The whole time? I buried them! All of them!" Casey screams as he lunges forward, "You coward!"
In my haste to get away I trip myself up and land unceremoniously on my rear, it's then that I realize my arm is thrown up to protect my face.
There is a pause.
"Donnie…what happened to your leg?" it's a shocked whisper, and all the anger in Casey's voice is gone.
I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks then and struggle not to sob, I can't move, I can't think, I just don't want to admit my shame.
I don't want to remember how Raph died…
"Donnie," Casey asks firmly, grabbing my arm and jerking my attention towards him, "What happened to your leg?"
I don't want to remember…but my mind has other ideas, it's like a title wave of pure horror as the flashback starts.
The heat from the flames was what woke me at first; then the pain, the gut lurching, vomit inducing pain was what hit me next.
I jolt into consciousness with a scream before struggling to break myself free from the crushing weight on my leg.
"Donnie!" I hear distantly, "DONATELLOOOO"
I groan before flopping limp and staring in horror at my right leg. It's pinned underneath chunks of broken concrete, blood is oozing from the multiple gashes where broken glass is imbedded, and I can feel the broken bones as much as I see them piercing the skin.
I choke, gag, and then taste bile.
Then suddenly Raph is beside me, he is lifting the concrete pinning my leg and pushing it aside…he's talking to me…
I can't keep track of it, but it's as he is lifting me and moving to carry me away that he gives a violent jerking motion and collapses.
"Donnie, stay with me bro," he orders, "Dammit Donnie don't you clock out on me."
"I.." is all I manage to gasp out before everything changes.
I scream as I hit the ground and suddenly feel the weight of my older brother crushing down on me.
Then I see the blood and his destroyed skull.
He's dead…oh God he's dead.
The bastards shot him when his back was turned…
I can't move, I can't get away as the ninja approaches with horrific silence. He's like the grim reaper, staring down at me.
And my dead brother, the last brother I have is lying dead across me after trying to save me.
"Do it," I hear myself choke out, "Kill me now…or when I get the chance…I'll kill you."
I hear him laugh as if my statement was extremely funny.
"You're already dead," he sneers before lifting the gun and pointing it at me.
"Since when does the Foot use guns?" I choke out, trying to ignore the pain torturing me, "What happened to what honor your clan had?"
"Everything changed with the attack on Mistress Karai," the Foot snickered, "Your brother changed the rules."
I hear the click of the gun and then a startled shout just as it goes off; it's then that I see my father leap in out of nowhere.
The last time I saw my father alive was at that moment…
I jerk from the flashback with a scream and then taste bile as my body lurches to empty my already vacant stomach.
I collapse, sobbing softly; my heart feels like it's been brutally stabbed, all energy I had moments ago is gone, and any dignity I had left to my name is all but fleeting now.
"I failed," I choke out, ending with a whimper.
"Donnie…" Casey whispers, "I'm so sorry."
I don't remember much after that, I'm pretty sure I blacked out, but I wake up to find myself lying on the couch with a blanket tossed over me. My whole body aches and as I try to move I feel myself lurch from the burst of pain that is the result.
"Thank God, you're finally awake," I hear Casey breathe from somewhere to my left.
I turn my head and groan when I see him.
"Casey?" I struggle, suddenly my thoughts feel muddled and painful.
"You had some sort of seizure and then went all limp…and then…dude you scared the shit out of me," he stammers out, "I was so pissed that and then…I thought you were fucking dying. I didn't want the last things you heard to be all that. You're the only family I have left."
"Casey," I manage softly, "It's ok."
"NO, it's not," Casey snaps firmly, "I acted like a fucking kid. I was stupid! I forgot that you lost everyone too and you were hurt on top of that…I was so angry that I never bothered to check in on you…I should've."
I feel a tear roll down my cheek.
"It's…ok, Casey," I murmur, making eye contact, "I forgive you…I only hope you can forgive me."
Casey pauses and then nods.
I slip back into unconsciousness with an overwhelming sense of relief.
A/N: Ok I finally got this done…college coursework is overwhelming me *dies*. I'll try to update again this week, but I'm also trying to take part in NaNoWriMo for my novel so who knows when I'll have a chance to type this…let alone sleep…