Chapter 6
"Matt, I can't believe you told me you were a novice!" Rose said cheerfully as Kylo worked on a fighter's hyperdrive. "I think you must know as much as I do!"
Kylo paused as he contemplated the ironic truth of her declaration. He had not been sure he could quickly pull the knowledge he needed to become a mechanic from her mind, but it seemed to have worked so far. The memory block of his invasion was holding up too, which was a relief on several levels. The alternatives would have been unpleasant.
"Is this the last job?" he asked. It was not even lunch-time.
Rose nodded. "We work in the morning, eat lunch, then train in the afternoons. Since Crait, General Organa has decided that everyone should be fighter ready. Do you have any combat experience? It's okay if you don't. We have people at all levels, so you shouldn't feel behind no matter what."
Kylo nodded. "I have combat experience," he said. He saw no reason to hide it.
Rose seemed delighted. "Really?" she asked with a big smile on her face. "That's so cool! Are you really good?"
Kylo shrugged. He wasn't sure how to explain that he excelled in all forms of combat training offered by the First Order. Of course, Rose would see it for herself soon enough, unless he toned it down, but why should he? Combat was one of his true joys. He would not deny himself the pleasure of going all out. Perhaps he would even get to face off against Rey again.
He frowned. No, he didn't want to, except perhaps to demonstrate he could defeat her… but he was no longer confident he could.
Rose smiled. "Well, it's okay. If you need extra help, I'll just get Rey to teach you. She's the best of us, you know. Of course, she has the force, which is a little like cheating, but Finn said he saw Rey fight off several attackers bigger than her with nothing more than a staff even before she discovered her force powers. It's weird though. I always thought people were born with force powers. I mean, if they can come out at any time, does that mean I might be a jedi and just not know it yet?"
Kylo pondered this. He had felt Rey's powers awaken when he hit that barrier in her mind, but he suspected Rey had always had some access to the force. Of course, he had felt no such barrier in Rose's mind when he dug through it.
"I wish I were special like Rey. She's tall, pretty, athletic, smart, and talented even without the force and her hero reputation…"
"She is not tall," Kylo said.
"She's nearly a half foot taller than me!" Rose said.
Kylo glanced at the woman, realizing then that Rose was extremely short, but sensed pointing this out would not help matters.
"And you didn't object to any of the other stuff. Of course, you are attracted to her. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm talking about this with you. I guess I just figured you could relate to aiming for someone out of your league."
Kylo frowned, confused. "You're aiming for Rey?"
"What!?" Rose said. "No, stars no. I mean, if I were into girls I would probably be all over her too, but I like Finn."
"The ex-stormtrooper?" Kylo said.
"How did you know about that?" Rose asked. "I mean, it's not uncommon knowledge for those from Crait, but most new people don't know it."
Kylo cringed at his slip. He finished the work, wiped his hands off, and offered a hand for Rose to shake. She took it on reflex, and he willed the force through it. "You will not remember that I know Finn is an ex-stormtrooper." He looked at Rose, whose eyes were dazed and jaw was slack and sighed. He actually felt bad for her. She was clearly not a murdering thief like much of the Resistance. She was merely a cog in the machine, and she was insecure about the boy she liked.
Who was a thieving murderer…
Kylo sighed. If he was in her head anyway, he may as well do her a favor. "You will no longer moon over Finn. You will be proud of your accomplishments as an engineer and save your heart for someone who recognizes your strengths." He paused, frowning. "Who is also not me."
Rose nodded dully.
"Wake up," he said and let go of her hand.
Rose's eyes shot up, and she looked confused.
After all the times she had caught him spacing out, Kylo couldn't resist. "Rose, are you listening?"
Rose's jaw dropped. "I guess not. What were we talking about?"
"I just wrapped up. Why don't you check my work and we'll head to lunch," Kylo suggested.
"That sounds great!" Rose said, and Kylo felt fairly certain that Rose seemed more relaxed now. He wished there were someone to remove the longing from his head. Rey was the only one powerful enough, and he somehow doubted she would react well to such a request.
Kylo half expected Rose to go her own way in the cafeteria now that they were done with work, but she did no such thing. She pulled Kylo into the lunch line behind her and chattered non-stop about some technology she was developing in her spare time to confuse First Order radars into displacing their fleet for targeting purposes. Kylo had little clue what she was saying. She reminded him of a bubbly, chipper Hux as she laid out the science behind it.
Kylo wondered if there was some way to politely remove himself when he sensed Rey with his mother, the traitor, and the pilot in the line a dozen people behind them or so. He stayed where he was.
Unfortunately, this strategy only preserved him until the others finished getting their food too. Rey, his mother, Finn, and Poe all made a beeline for the table where Kylo and Rose sat.
"Hey!" Rose said in slight shock as everyone sat down around her and Kylo. Kylo studied her reaction to Finn in particular, but she treated him with the same deference she treated the others.
"It's alright if we join you and Matt?" General Organa said.
"Absolutely! I'm honored! I mean, you're all famous and heroes, and I'm just… well, me."
"Nonsense, you went on an undercover mission with Finn to both Canto Bight and the Supremacy to save us, then fought on Crait and actually sacrificed yourself for Finn. How are you not a hero?" Poe asked with a big grin.
"Exactly! You saved my life and nearly died in the process. That's pretty heroic in my book," Finn said.
"Oh yea," Rose said, looking at Finn. "I had forgotten all that, even the kiss. That's weird. Why did I kiss you?" she asked a very confused and distraught Finn.
Kylo swallowed hard. He hadn't realized there was history between the two that would no longer make sense. He could feel both Rey and his mother turn their eyes to him too.
"Well, at the time, you said it was because you save the things you love," Finn said. "Which I thought meant you loved me."
Rose blinked at Finn. "No, I mean, maybe as a friend, but I don't feel anything special for you. Wow, are we really discussing my feelings over lunch? This is so weird. So why are you asking? You're not interested in me, are you?" Rose asked Finn.
Finn stared at her with a firm expression that Kylo knew was entirely uncharacteristic for the man, despite barely knowing Finn. Whatever was coming out of Finn's mouth would undoubtedly be a lie.
"No, no… I'm not interested. I was just curious, since, you know, you kissed me and said something that sounded a lot like you loved me."
Rose chuckled. "Well that makes sense, but really, I have no idea why. Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea."
"Oh, it's no problem at all, Rose. Say, I just remembered I had a thing I was supposed to do, and it needs doing. I'll see y'all later," Finn said and left the table with a tray of untouched food.
"Umm, you know, me too," Poe said and followed Finn quickly.
"Ben," Rey said carefully, looking at Kylo with a wary expression.
"Who's Ben?" Rose asked.
Kylo cringed and glanced quickly to see if anyone was paying attention besides his mother and Rey. He quickly grabbed Rose's hand and said, "You will not remember I was called Ben." He let go, and Rose blinked and looked around.
"Wow, I must have dazed off again. What were we talking about?" Rose asked. "Oh, did you know Matt is a wizard at mechanics? I think he must know at least as much as I know about things. I barely had to teach him anything today!"
Rey and General Organa exchanged glances. "Rose, I think that Rey and I will need to borrow Matt for a little bit when he's done eating."
"I think I should actually borrow him now," Rey said. "Bring your food. We'll eat in my room."
Rose bit her lip and grinned at Kylo and Rey. "Absolutely. I won't need him more. Take him for the whole day!"
Rey stood up and waited for Kylo to stand up too. He was tempted to resist, but he understood Rey's position. If he had discovered Rey had interfered with the mind of one of his subordinates, he would have demanded her to explain herself too. He sighed and resigned himself to this confrontation.
Once they were in her room, she put her food on top of the cabinet and gestured for him to do the same. Once the food was safely out of the way, she glared at him. "What did you do to her?"
Kylo frowned at her. "Nothing bad. I borrowed her knowledge of mechanics, saving her a great deal of time training me, and then gave her a force suggestion to protect her heart until she finds someone worthwhile to be interested in."
Rey frowned at him. "And who exactly is worthwhile?"
"Someone who will appreciate her," Kylo said. "Also someone who is not me."
Rey's anger dimmed at this. "That's… not as bad as I feared, but you can't just go around messing with her head. What about Finn?"
"What about Finn? She was sad while she was clinging to her affection for him, and now she's happier to be freed. I would do it for myself if I could," Kylo said.
Rey's spirits crumbled immediately. "You mean you would forget your feelings for me," she said.
He hadn't meant to reveal so much, but he could use this. "In a heartbeat," Kylo said, narrowing his eyes at Rey and taking a step toward her. Rey backed up, and he followed until he had her back against the wall. "I would forget everything about you if I could."
Rey's eyes glistened with tears, but she kept her eyes steady on him. "I wouldn't forget a single moment, Ben." A tear rolled out of the corner of her eye and down her face, and Kylo was so fascinated with its wet trail that he didn't realize she had lifted her hand until her fingers traced the scar on his own face. It paused at the point near his mouth, which she studied for a moment before dropping her hand away. "You really want to forget?"
"Yes," he said. He never wanted to feel this pain again.
Rey nodded and slumped back against the wall, as if needing the support. "I can't. If I make you forget just me, you won't have any reason not to destroy the Resistance at the first opportunity after you leave. I'm sorry."
Kylo's heart clenched at the thought she might have done it for him were the Resistance not in danger. But, of course, she always chose the Resistance over him, just like everyone else. "Then I think our little chat is done," he said. He grabbed his food tray and swept out the room.
I had so much fun writing this chapter... I know Rose is getting the short end of the stick for now, I promise I'll come through for her. I don't think I could handle writing a story where she doesn't get a happy ending. I 100% adore Rose.
Hope you enjoyed it and please review! I love reading the reactions, and I've been having a rough time lately in the real world, so reassurance I'm not screwing things up in any form is very welcome. If I've not said it, thank you thank you to those who have been reviewing. y'all are awesome and make my day.
A couple of you commented about Matt possibly learning how to fix stuff from Rey via the bond since she learned how to use the force from him that way. I decided he didn't because Rey's bond-gained knowledge was limited to how to move and utilize the force, but she still had to learn the basic concepts from Luke. So switching that, I figure Kylo might suddenly find he can wield tools with the precise amount of effort for the repair, but would have no knowledge of the parts or how they work together from Rey. Anyway, that's my logic.