"Where's your friend?" Kiyomi asked one day, as she cleaned the dishes at the sink.

"Who?" Hidan asked back, carelessly.

"Your friend…" She said, "The tall, tan one with the green pupils?"

"Oh, you mean Kakuzu." He answered, "Why are you asking about him?"

"Yeah, you can ask him to come over sometime." She shrugged, "It'd be nice, even just for dinner."

"Sure, whatever. He's been bitching about how shitty the hotel is and how it's wasting his money." Hidan agreed to her suggestion. She beamed, turning back to wash the dishes.

Hidan banged on Kakuzu's door, "Oi, open the door!"

"The door's broken, it's not locked." Kakuzu growled from inside.

Hidan kicked the door open and waved at his hand at his partner, "Sweetcheeks wants to ask you over for supper."

"Why?" Kakuzu asked without looking up from his checkbooks.

"She said the usual crap, it'd be nice to come out of this shitty hotel, blah blah blah." Hidan scanned around the room. It sure was lousy: he was already used to Kiyomi's clean house.

Kakuzu smirked, "Sounds like a plan."

"Wait, what?" Hidan snapped, "I thought you'd say no-"

"The lady did ask herself, didn't she?" Kakuzu put down his ink pen, "I'm hungry anyways."

"You son of a bitch!" Hidan scowled, "You're just going because the food is for free. And clean!"

"Guilty as charged." Kakuzu's smirk was once again hidden perfectly behind his mask. Plus, he wanted to see the wench-to see why she had the ability to make Hidan go visit her after their supposedly one night stand. And of course, also to see the mini-Hidan.

"Oi, sweetcheeks!" Hidan hollered from the door, opening it.

She spun around with her apron still on and smiled widely when she saw Kakuzu behind him. She washed her hands and took off her apron, hurrying to the front door. She gave Kakuzu a polite grin and held out her hand for him to shake, "You must be Kakuzu-san, I'm so pleased to meet you."

Kakuzu squinted at her palm then the sincere expression on her face, "A pleasure." He grunted, shaking her hand. She giggled nervously, finding him a little intimidating, "Wow, uh, nice grip."

Hidan rolled his eyes and pulled her away from Kakuzu, "You sit down there, Kakuzu." He pointed at the sofa. He wanted the Jashin-damned 'gold-digger' to stay as far away from her as possible.

"What's going on?" Himaru pranced out his bedroom with Mr. Carrots in his hand.

"Himaru!" Kiyomi said, "Come say hi to Uncle Kakuzu."

"Hi, Uncle…Kakuzu." Himaru waved shyly at the tall man on the sofa. He was sitting in his usual spot where he watched cartoon!

"Kid." Kakuzu gave him a small nod, gesturing towards the unoccupied seat next to him, "Sit."

Himaru giggled nervously, glancing at his mother then father.

"Go on," Kiyomi encouraged. She hoped Kakuzu wasn't some kind of masked terrorist and will burn their house down to ashes. But then again, he was Hidan's friend; she wanted to meet him and see what kind of people Hidan got along with.

"Tsu." Hidan frowned, "Listen to your mommy."

However, he didn't want that cappuccino-color skinned man next to his son either.

Himaru nodded, running to the sofa and plopping down next to their guest.

"Uncle Kakuzu, why are you wearing a mask?" Himaru asked.

His mother shushed him, "Himaru, don't be rude!" Or he might kill us all!

Kakuzu shook his head, "No, Kiyomi-san, it's fine. You want to see what's beneath my mask, little buddy?" He gestured to pull his mask off.

Hidan sprint over and grabbed his wrist, stopping him, "Let's not do that, Kakuzu. You'll give my son nightmares."

"Why, daddy, what's wrong?" Himaru asked, trying to peek underneath Kakuzu's mask.

"Your uncle here is…let's just say, not the best looking man." Hidan snickered as his partner shot him a death glare, "Unlike daddy, on the other hand-"

"Hidan, that's awful of you to say." Kiyomi scoffed, giving Kakuzu an apologetic nod.

He shrugged, "Hidan's always like that."

She grinned in agreement.

"Hmph." Hidan fold his arms across his chest, looking away. Kiyomi hid a smile as she walked back to the kitchen, giving him a squeeze on the arm, "Be nice to our guest."

"Your doll is ragged up," Kakuzu started another topic with the child, "Give it to me."

"But-" Himaru's eyes widened yet he still handed Mr. Carrots over to the tall man.

Kakuzu detached his arm and let out some strings, sewing the half torn arm of the rabbit doll back onto it. Himaru stared in awe as Kakuzu gave it back to him, "That is so flippin' sweet! Thank you, Uncle Kakuzu!"

Seeing the miniature Hidan being polite made Kakuzu chuckle deeply, what a contrast.

He never once heard Hidan say thank you to anyone.

"Say…Himaru, you want to learn something?" Kakuzu asked the little boy. He nodded intently.

Kakuzu pulled out a dozen of coins from his pocket, "Do you know how to count?"

"A little." Himaru answered, kicking his little feet, "Mama sometimes home-schools me."

"Why homeschooling?"

"Mama wants to send me to a friggin academy full of smart buttholes." Himaru tilt his chin up as he answered, "But I don't want to learn there. I like being with mommy."

"What do you want to do then, kid?"

"Screw hoes." Himaru whispered to the big man, whose eyes widened.

"Just kidding. I want to be a kick-butt shinobi! I want to be cool, like you and my daddy."

"Learning is important." Kakuzu lectured, not believing what he was saying, "If you don't learn how to count, you won't be able to be in charge of your money. When you're not in charge of your money, you won't be cool."

"Really?" Himaru's mauve eyes twinkled in excitement. "Teach me, Uncle Kakuzu!"

He did.

Hidan tugged on Kiyomi's wrist as he pulled her to the backyard, "Why are you being so nice to the dickhead?"

"He's your friend. And he's nice, so why not?" She answered in an as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

Hidan cursed under his breath and said, "I told you not to be so friendly with other men."

"Hidan…" She shook her head but instead he pressed his lips against hers and she opened her mouth welcomingly for his tongue to enter. The tip of their tongues twirled erotically and he began kneading her breasts, a soft sigh came from her throat. Pleased, Hidan pulled away.

She stood in front of him, eyes misty, lips slightly apart and face in the sexiest shade of red.

"Only I get to do this to you," He ordered, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, "And you only moan beneath me. No one else." She gulped, nodding.

"Good, now let's go back inside and let that bastard see who you belong to." He smacked her perky bottom, causing a light yelp from her.

Kakuzu eyed the two as they walked slyly back into the house. Himaru had now learnt how to add up to forty. "Dinner's ready!" Kiyomi announced. Kakuzu told Himaru to take a break.

"I hope you like what I made…I'm not very good at cooking."

Kakuzu scanned the plates on the table. Roasted liver, odd for normal people, but it was his favorite. So…she had previously asked Hidan what his favorite food was. Good impression so far.

Kakuzu took off his mask carefully, exposing the stitched scars on his face. He was expecting a gasp or scream from the wench and the kid. But no, they all sat around the table and smiled politely, looking at him, "Shall we?"

He nodded, feeling quite odd.

Kiyomi studied Kakuzu's face as he took his first bite, "I hope it's not too bad…"

It really wasn't. In fact, it was quite delicious, for a home-cooked meal.

"Uncle Kakuzu, you're not ugly like daddy said!" Himaru piped, "You are a kick-butt hero to have those scars. You are brave!"

Kiyomi nodded in agreement, "You shouldn't let Hidan judge you by your looks."

Hidan rubbed his chin, a vain look on his face, "Yeah sure, whatever you guys say. You just feel bad for 'Kuzu. I am however, an immortal stud."

"What's 'immortal'?" Himaru asked, blinking.

Kakuzu's eyes glanced at Kiyomi then Hidan. She was glaring at Hidan, who was still cockily admiring his own looks with his silver spoon.

"Just something cool." Hidan answered, not looking up at Kiyomi who was glazing at him.

"I want to be immortal too!" Himaru chirped, clapping his hands.

"You wouldn't want that, kid." Kakuzu said, patting his head.

"Why?"

"You're too young to understand." His new uncle ruffled his hair. Hidan and Kakuzu shot each other understanding looks.

Kiyomi sighed, as they all resumed to dinner.

"Uncle Kakuzu," Himaru suddenly jumped up and down excitedly, "You should be my godfather."

"What?"

"What?"

Hidan and Kakuzu almost choked on their tea when they heard the youngster's suggestion.

Noticing how 'overprotective' Hidan was to his son made Kakuzu want to tease him a little more, "Sure, why not?"

Himaru grinned broadly, throwing his arms around the dark-skinned shinobi, "Yay! I have a daddy and a god-daddy!"

"No!" Hidan snapped, "Since when did you get my permission, lil' brat! And you bastard, Kakuzu! Just because you're teaching him math doesn't mean you can automatically mean something to my son! You're no godfather, more like great-great-great-great-grandfather!"

Kakuzu gaped at Hidan who was flustering over the small joke, "Why are you overreacting?"

"I don't want a son of a bitch who only counts money for a living to be my son's second father!" Hidan yelled. Himaru covered his ears and stared at Mr. Carrots who was resting on his lap.

"Hidan, that's enough." Kiyomi scurried over and tugged on his sleeve, "Kakuzu-san is our guest."

Hidan frowned at her then recollected himself, scratching his forehead, "It's late, Kakuzu, you should go back to you chicken den."

"H'm." Kakuzu agreed, even though he did not appreciate Hidan's attitude. If this visit was a test, Kiyomi and Himaru were straight-As; Hidan flunked. Typical Hidan.

Hidan swung the door open for his partner, pointing outside, "Kick yourself out."

Kakuzu glared at him.

"Bye, Uncle Kakuzu." Himaru hugged his thigh and whispered, "You're still going to be my god-daddy, right?" His new uncle patted him on the head, "Yes. Remember to practice your math."

Himaru nodded happily and greeted him goodnight and skipped back to his room.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Kakuzu-san." Kiyomi smiled at him.

"You have a lovely family." He told her, "But Hidan needs some whipping."

"Thank you." She smiled.

"Actual whipping." Kakuzu whispered.

She stared at him, her face reddening, "Um, well, goodbye."

"Bye, you old Frankenstein freak!" Hidan yelled to his back.

"I'm still your son's godfather, whether you like it or not." Kakuzu smirked back. He emphasized on the 'God'.

"Moneyfucker!" Hidan shouted, "I hope you lose your fucking briefcase!"

Kakuzu gave him the finger.

Hidan used to visit once or twice in three months; but the time between his stopovers become shorter and frequent. He'd drop by a few times a month. It soon became a routine every weekend. He'd come over, they'd have dinner, he would teach Himaru some 'kick-ass' maneuvers in case he ran into bullies and his son wouldn't be able to swear his way out of a fight; Kiyomi and Hidan would then tuck their son to sleep and dash off to the hotel to have passionate sex, again and again.

However, Hidan hadn't shown up in three weeks, which worried Kiyomi.

Was he ditching them once again? She had no idea.

On a Saturday morning, Kiyomi just got back from dropping off Himaru at his friend's house and opened the door, seeing Hidan sitting on the sofa, glazing at her.

"Hidan!" She exclaimed in surprise and excitement. He gave her a half-grin, "Hey, sweetcheeks. My 'Pein'-in-the-ass leader sent me on a longer mission."

She strode over and wrapped her arms around his waist, locking lips with his. He smirked at how welcoming she was. She allowed his tongue to probe into her mouth and taste the sweetness of her. A small moan came from her throat as he slid off her scarf and caressed her breasts from above her shirt.

"I missed you," She murmured within their passionate kiss, "I missed you so much."

"Err…getting a little needy, are we?" He commented, pushing her away from him.

She stared down at the floor, her cheeks rosy pink, "Sorry."

"Nah," He pulled her onto his lap, directly prodding his erection onto her wet warmth, "I like it."

She smiled shyly, draping her arms around his neck, "Take me."

"Gladly." He licked his lips.

"Hidan," Kiyomi sat up, "I have an idea."

"H'm." He mumbled, turning away from her.

"Our neighbours' kid graduated and they gave me their old textbooks. I've been teaching Himaru for a while now."

"So what?"

"So…you should learn with him," She suggested, but quickly adding, "If you want to."

Hidan shrugged, "Whatever. What kind of shitty stuff do textbooks teach anyways?"

She slapped him playfully on the arm, "Proper language, literature and such."

He yawned, exaggeratingly, "Bo-ring."

"So I assume you haven't been to school?" She asked carefully. He didn't answer.

"Can you read, then?"

"Of course I can!" He snapped, sitting up as well, his face slightly red, "How else would I be such a faithful Jashinist? I read Jashin-sama's Bible."

"So you do." She nodded, "Well, I believe you."

"Fine." He admitted, "I can't read. It's not a big fucking deal. At least I can talk and walk and eat and fuck."

She had a sweet smile on her face, her face glowing in enthusiasm, "So you'll learn?"

"Fuck, I'll try."

"Perfect." She patted him on the chest, "I'll go get ready. He'll be back anytime, get dressed."

"We don't get to fuck first, Kiyomi sensei?" He mocked, shamelessly putting his palm over his own manhood, "It'll be a quick one."

"We just had sex." She got off the bed, putting her clothes on, "It's not like you will die without it."

"I assume there was a pun intended." Hidan looked at her.

She shrugged, walking away.

"Damn tease." He muttered. He hated being left hot and bothered. He'll get back at her soon.

"Himaru, let's review the things mama had taught you before to get you ready for school." She announced, hugging two copies of textbooks against her chest.

"No shit!" Himaru exclaimed, "I have to go to school? That butthole school?"

"Himaru, your language." Kiyomi sternly warned. He pouted, "Sorry, mama."

"Well, mama's going to figure out a way to get you into the school."

"I'll ask your Uncle Kakuzu to give you the tuition money." Hidan said to his son.

Kiyomi gasped, "No, Hidan, that's too-"

"He told me he wanted to anyways." He grinned, "And your uncle has been asking about if you have been practicing your math."

"You mean my god-daddy."

"No!"

"Hidan, it's the same thing." Kiyomi cut off the endless conversation/argument between the two silver-heads, "Now can we please get started."

Himaru sat up straight, "Aye, aye, mama!"

"We're first reviewing on the alphabet." Kiyomi began, "Himaru, you remember, right?"

"Uh huh! A for apple, B for bee, C for cat, D for dog…" His son chanted out loud.

"Hidan, do you want to try?" She asked.

"Uhh…A is for ass, B is for bitches, C is for condoms, D is for dick-"

"Hidan!" She scolded angrily.

He shrugged, "I get it, I get it. This is too easy."

"Moving on," She cleared her throat, "Let's try the reading exercise. Hidan, do you want to try first?" "No." He answered crossing his legs.

"Oh! Me, me!" Himaru raised his hand.

"Okay, Himaru. Hidan, you should pay attention, your son is smarter than you."

"Hmph. He's just a lil' dipshit." Hidan mumbled. Just like Tobi.

"This is 'a' apple." Himaru read from the textbook.

"'An' apple." Kiyomi corrected him, "You use 'an' for words that start with vowels."

Hidan yawned loudly. She shot him a disapproval look.

"This is fucking stupid." Hidan tossed his book aside, "That book is for retards."

"Yeah, retards!" Himaru followed his father, slapping his thighs, "Sooo easy!"

The father and son were going on strike. On learning basic grammar.

"Hidan!" Kiyomi scoffed, "I thought you were supposed to support me."

"But this is dumb."

"It won't be when you learn it." She insisted.

"What if I don't want to learn?" He retorted.

Her face fell disappointedly, "Fine." She dragged her thousand pounded feet as she walked back to her room and closing the door behind her.

"Daddy, you made mama sad again." Himaru pointed out.

"You were the final straw, with the slapping on the thighs!" Hidan said back.

"I don't want to learn this because I know it already." Himaru explained, "What do you think I do at my friend's house? I always borrow books to read. I'm smart."

"Wow, you kind of are." Hidan was a little taken back. He never imagined that he would have a son. He never imagined his son would be so…hardworking.

"You should go say sorry to mama." His son gave him advice.

"Not like you have to tell me." Hidan muttered, getting up from the kitchen chair. He walked towards the bedroom and knocked on it before he entered. Kiyomi was laying face down, her face buried in the pillow.

"You better not be crying." Hidan joked.

"I'm not." She croaked, "Just upset."

"Bout what?" He asked.

"How you're not participating." She replied, "You're making it difficult."

"Jeez, sorry." Hidan stuffed his hands into his pockets, "I was just pissed that you were teasing with me."

"Look," She sat up, pushing her hair away from her face, "Himaru deserves to have a better education, since you are his father, you should be supporting me. It doesn't whether I'm teasing or not. And for your information, I wasn't."

"Mhmm." Hidan chuckled, pulling her in for an embrace, "I love when you get all serious."

"Hidan…" Irritation was obvious in her tone. He patted her on the back, kissing her on the lips, nibbling on her lower lip, "I know, I know, sweetcheeks. Don't worry about it."

Kiyomi eyed him skeptically.

"Ugh." He rubbed his temples, "Have faith in me at least once. You can go out grocery shopping or whatever you like to do."

A smile reappeared on the delicate features of her face, "I'll go do that. Hopefully progress after I come back?"

"I'll try. Just don't keep your hopes too high." Hidan snickered. She soon changed a set of clothes and left the house, leaving a kiss on her son's cheek.

"Yo brat!" Hidan hollered, snapping his fingers at his son, who was singing along with Chibi Shinobi's theme song as it played on television.

"Yes, daddy?" He jumped off the sofa.

"Let's learn some shit-I mean stuff." He sighed, grabbing himself a seat at the dining table.

"Okay!" Himaru jumped on a stool next to his father, "So daddy, did you change your mind? You want to learn now?"

The older albino rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Now read this book." He pointed his finger at a colorful storybook on the table.

His son's little hands reached to flip open the book, he took a moment to look at the illustrated art behind the text, "Once upon a time, a 'piggly' lived in a 'farn'."

"Err…" Hidan interrupted in the first sentence of the story, "Even though I can't really read, but I think it's supposed to say 'Piggy' or 'Piglet' lived in a 'barn' or 'farm'."

A wide beam appeared on Himaru's face, "Yay, daddy, you are so smart!"

"Of course I am." Hidan snorted in pride, "I've got the looks and the brains." 'And the banging body', he added mentally.

"I was just testing you!" Himaru giggled. His father's violet eyes shot daggers at him. The six year old bit his lip to suppress his laughter and continued to read.

"You're pretty good, kid." Hidan patted him on the head, "I'll give you that."

"Thank you, daddy!" His son piped, "Your turn, your turn!"

"What?" Hidan asked stupidly, wanting to avoid to read a kiddy's book.

"Your turn to read a book!" Himaru grinned, picking the thinnest storybook from the pile on the table, "The Rabbit's Winter! It's one of my favorites, mama's too! She always reads it to me when I sleep when I was younger."

"You're still young." Hidan retorted, taking the book from his son's eager hand, "Fine, I'll give it a shot." His son nodded happily, cupping his own face and blinking at him in enthusiasm.

"Um," Hidan cleared his throat, "The…there is a ra-rabies…er, no. Rabbit? A rabbit that lived between-I mean, beneath…a hole under the ground. It was wipe-no, it was…white… and furry?" He finished the first page through stutters, nervously he glanced at his son.

"Mmhmm!" Himaru encouraged, "That was good, go on! I want to know more about the bunny!"

"Haven't you heard this story for like, so many times?" He asked impatiently.

"Nuh uh!" Himaru shook his head, pounding his little fists on the table, "Read, daddy, read!"

"Shut up, and fine." Hidan growled, turning the page, "The rabbit's fur is white…hey, what the fuck, didn't they just say that?"

"Daddy, no swearing! The bunny doesn't like bad words!"

"Oh yeah? Says who?"

"Mister Carrots!" Himaru pointed at his doll on his lap, "Go on!"

"It pounds-ummm, it hops around in the spring? On the glassy field."

"Grassy." His son corrected him concisely.

"I just said that." Hidan argued, "On the grassy field! And its friends are birds and butterflies. Oh really? Birds and butterflies? How about hunters that hunt their fricking butts and cook them for dinner and make fur hats out of them?"

Himaru gasped, "Daddy, that's horrible!"

Hidan cackled, putting down the book, "This book is so boring. Do you want to know how bunnies make more bunnies?"

"No!" Himaru shook his head, "I want to know what the rabbit does in the winter!"

"It probably freezes to death." Hidan replied without thinking. Defeated tears increased in his son's big violet eyes. "Hey," The adult albino's voice turned softer, "I'm sorry."

The child sniffled in return.

"You like rabbits, don't you, Himaru?" Hidan asked, changing the subject. His son's eyes shot up in interest, "Yes! I love bunnies! That's why I don't like you saying bad things about them."

"Sorry, brat." Hidan ruffled his hair, "Does your mom like bunnies too?"

"I think so!" Himaru tilted his head, "Why?"

"Nothing." His father muttered, thoughts racing through his mind.

"Himaru, Hidan, I'm back!" Kiyomi greeted as she locked the front door behind her, walking into the kitchen with bags in her hands, "So?"

"How long have you been out?" Hidan demanded.

"Um, three hours, why?" She asked.

"What? It's been that long already?" He scratched his head, "Didn't feel like it!"

"Time flies when you're learning." Kiyomi smiled as she took a seat next to him. She touched his arm, "Did you two learn anything?"

"I finished the piggy story and daddy's half way through the bunny one!" Himaru reported.

"Wow," His mother nodded, looking rather impressed, "Well, before I make dinner, Hidan, do you want to read us the last eight pages? It's short."

Hidan sighed, sitting in the middle of the two of them sure was lame. "Fine."

He finished the book, tumbling through the process. A few swear words, but decent.

"I'm proud of you," Kiyomi gave his arm a squeeze, "You'll get better at it each time, I swear."

"On Jashin-sama?" Hidan joked, "I'm fucking hungry, I can almost eat a rabbit."

"Daddy! No jokes on bunnies!" Himaru wailed. His father stuck his tongue out at him in a childish manner, "Bite me."

The only woman in the house let out a heartily laugh and went to make dinner for the two.

Oh, and the bunny didn't die in the end of the story.

A/N:

I hope it wasn't too crappy…kind of long, I know.

Please tell me what you guys think! Your reviews and opinions are what keeps me motivated and inspired! Much love and thanks!