The movie Morven had chosen to watch had just gotten to a good spot when Jasmine's phone rang. Frowning a little, she pulled it out of her pocket and stared at the name on her screen. "Serena?" she asked anxiously, trying to ignore the look Morven shot her.
"No, it's Jason. Auntie Serena and Bernie just got in a terrible row, and Bernie stormed off for work, and Auntie Serena's taken off, too."
Her frown deepened and Morven reached out to touch her arm lightly, a questioning look on her face. "What were they arguing about?" she asked quietly, pulling away from Morven to focus more intently on Jason's voice. There was a long pause, and she swallowed thickly before probing further. "Jason? You can tell me."
"They were arguing about you. Bernie said that she'd talked to Morven about the way Auntie Serena was treating you, and she snapped at Bernie, saying that she wasn't driving you half as hard as she'd been driven. I left the room at that point, I really don't think they noticed."
Jasmine felt her lips begin to quiver a little as she stood up. Morven went to follow suit, and she shook her head as she moved over to the window, staring out into the black of night. "What do you need me to do, Jason?"
"Find Auntie Serena? She took off without her phone or coat, and I'm worried that she might hurt herself."
That was the thing that caused tears to start rolling down her cheeks as she nodded. "I will be there as soon as I can. I promise."
"Okay."
She hung up without saying goodbye and whirled around to fix a stony glare on Morven. "I know that you probably thought you were helping, but why the hell did you tell Bernie that Serena was bullying me?"
"Because I was hoping Bernie could gently nudge Serena to be less shouty. It doesn't look good to have our patients describing her as mean. If that were to get back to the board? She could lose her job!"
Morven did have a point, Jasmine had to concede that, but she still felt very defensive of Serena. "Well, it didn't help, and I have to go try and smooth things over! Seriously, Morven, you know Serena's in a fragile place right now, and any little thing might tip her back into the abyss." The tears started to fall down her cheeks even harder, and she swiped angrily at them as she shoved her phone into her pocket, storming out to the door and tugging on her coat.
"You can't go over there!"
She looked over her shoulder at Morven, using her best Serena face as she nodded. "I can and I am. She needs me, Morven!"
"She has a partner, and it's not you! Leave. It. Alone."
"I can't." Jasmine zipped her coat and picked up her keys before wrenching the door open. "I'll see you at work tomorrow. Bring me a fresh shirt and underwear."
Before Morven could respond, Jasmine took off down the walk, not pausing until she had reached her car. As she glanced at her reflection, she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. A small voice whispered to her heart that perhaps she was becoming too emotionally involved, but she didn't really care to listen to that voice at the moment. She could think about that more closely when Serena had been found, and things were a little more normal.
Even before she had made it a mile down the road, her phone began to ring, Morven's ringtone harsh and irritating to her ears. Slipping her hand in her pocket, she turned the ringer off and continued her drive from memory. The closer she got to Serena's home, the slower she drove, trying to keep an eye out for the woman as she went along. There was no sign of her, however, by the time Jasmine reached the house, and she parked, shutting off the car as she drew in a deep breath.
Looking up, she saw Jason standing in the front room, gazing out the window, and she took another deep breath before getting out of the vehicle and making her way up to the door. Before she could knock, Jason opened it, giving her a worried smile as he beckoned her indoors. "She hasn't come back yet. Did you see her at all?"
"No," she murmured as she wiped at her face, certain that tears were still clinging to her skin. "Do you know which direction she took off in?"
"To the east, but I lost track of where she went once the darkness swallowed her."
"Right, well, now I have a direction to look for her. Do you have a torch?" Jason nodded, and Jasmine followed him into the kitchen, watching him rummage through a drawer before pulling out a long torch and handing it to her.
"I just checked the batteries in it, so it works. Please, find her? I don't have anyone left."
Jasmine pursed her lips together as she tried to stave off a fresh bout of tears. "I will do my best, Jason. I promise you that." He nodded, and Jasmine completely lost it when he started crying. Knowing that she shouldn't impulsively hug him, she just opened her arms, letting him decide if he wanted a hug. When he stepped forward, closing his arms around her waist, she sighed and rubbed his back softly, trying to comfort him as best she could.
"I'll make tea for us, while you're gone," he said as he stepped away.
Jasmine nodded and took firmer hold of the torch as she made her way outside, turning to her right and walking quickly. The dark of the road unsettled her, and she turned the torch on, using it to guide her way. Thankfully, there weren't any cross streets for a long stretch of road, and she glanced from side to side as she searched for Serena.
A noise to her left caught her attention, and she turned and shone the light in that direction. Serena was sitting on the lawn of some lawn, copious tears falling down her face. "Thank God you didn't get far!" she exclaimed as she looked both ways before running across the road and kneeling down in front of her. "Serena?"
The woman looked up at her, and Jasmine sighed a little to see how puffy and red her eyes were. "I take it Jason called you?" She nodded. "I'm glad you came. Especially after how I treated you today. You didn't have to…"
"Hush, Serena. I would have come no matter what. Jason's worried about you, so let's get you home." She reached out and rubbed the woman's shoulder softly, trying to encourage her to stand. Serena gave her a small nod as she pushed herself off the ground and stumbled a little. Jasmine quickly popped up and wrapped an arm around Serena's waist, pulling her close as she led her back across the road.
The walk back was slow, and silent, but for Serena's sniffles. Jasmine found herself starting to cry silently the longer they walked. Serena clutched at the dip in her waist, and Jasmine winced a little to feel the sharp dig of fingers. "I, I'm going to sit in the garden for a bit. I don't want him to see me like this," she said as they came to a stop at the front door.
"You're freezing, Serena, and I don't think it would be particularly heathy for you to spend more time outside tonight." Jasmine clucked her tongue a little as she opened the door and guided Serena inside. There was a pause in the noise from the television, which Jasmine took as Jason's way of ensuring that they had come back, and she tightened her grip on Serena's waist as she led her towards him. "Now, Jason said he was going to put on a pot of tea, so while you get comfortable on the sofa, I'll get it ready for us."
Before she could think about her actions, Jasmine turned her head and pressed a quick kiss to the side of Serena's head as they entered the living room. Jason gave her a small smile from his spot on the recliner, and she nodded at him as she disentangled herself from Serena. The woman seemed to shrink in on herself as she made her way to the sofa and sat heavily, and Jasmine sighed a little as she turned and scurried off to the kitchen.
The kettle was still on the stove, and she pressed her hand gently to its side in order to see if she needed to reheat it. There was still quite a bit of warmth to it, so she pulled her hand away and rummaged through the cupboards until she found a few mugs. Stacking them together, she then lifted the kettle and carried everything back into the living room. Serena was staring down at her hands when she entered, and Jasmine smiled sadly as she set the mugs down, pouring out the tea before setting the kettle on a magazine and taking a seat next to the woman.
"This episode of Strongest Man is almost over. Is there something you'd like to watch?"
Jasmine wasn't certain who he was addressing, but Serena wasn't answering, so she shrugged a little. "I don't suppose that you'd mind watching a movie with us? I think What We Did On Our Holiday is still on Netflix."
"Oh, that movie has the Tenth Doctor in it! I have watched that before, but it would be nice to see it again." He navigated through the menu and brought up the movie. As it started, Jasmine tugged the warm blanket down from the back of the sofa and wrapped it around her legs, tying not to give in to the overwhelming desire to lean against Serena, like she would have with her mother.
About halfway through the movie, Jason got up and shuffled out of the room, giving her a small wave, which she took to mean that he was heading up to bed. Jasmine smiled a little as she set aside her empty mug as she yawned deeply, scooting a little closer to Serena and listening to the little breaths she took, the soft chuckle that escaped her lips at a particularly funny spot, and then the exact moment that her heart broke and she started to sob.
Jasmine quickly scrambled for the remote and turned the television off, not certain what else she should do. "I didn't mean to make you sad again," she mumbled as she curled up against the opposite side of the sofa, staring at the woman.
"I didn't think that would trigger me like that," Serena replied brokenly. "I, I need to reach out to Bernie, to apologise for yelling at her, but I don't know what to say."
"Just tell her that you love her."
"I wish it was that simple."
"It is! Maybe I'm naïve, but, you love her, and you need to tell her that. Here, here's your phone – text her and let her know that you love her and want to talk the next time you're together."
Serena took the mobile from her hand and tapped her fingers against the screen, not unlocking it for a long time before finally frowning and furiously typing away. "There. Are you happy?"
"Yeah, a little. I don't want you guys to fall out because of me." Serena looked up at her, her lips quivering a little as she nodded. "Um, I kind of told Morven that I would be spending the night. I know where the spare pyjamas are kept, and where the guest room is. If you want to head to sleep, I can take care of everything down here."
"You're a sweet girl, Jasmine. I don't think you're told that enough." She shrugged, not feeling entirely comfortable with the compliment. "I wish that you didn't feel the need to come rescue me all the time, especially from my self-made disaster. I would have come home eventually. I just needed to get out of here."
"And you managed to upset Jason in the process. I know that that is the last thing you would want to do, but that's what happened!" Their eyes met, and Jasmine watched the tears pool in Serena's eyes. Sympathy tears welled up in her, and she nodded a little as Serena shrunk into herself, guilt washing over her face as she turned her gaze away from Jasmine.
"You're right, my actions have hurt so many people. But I feel so alone."
"You have Bernie!"
Serena gave a small shrug, and Jasmine let out a soft sound of commiseration under her breath as she reached out to touch the woman's shoulder, rubbing her thumb back and forth in order to comfort her. "I love Bernie, but I would have thought that Raf would have come by and visited. Or Mo. Or Sacha. Or Ric. Even Morven's pulled away from me, and I just can't seem to find a safe harbor with anyone. It's lonely, being the scary shouty one."
"Oh," she breathed out, realizing that Serena had overheard that particular conversation. In the silence that followed, Serena's quiet cries sounded incredibly loud, and Jasmine scooted closer to Serena, bringing the blanket with her and wrapping it over their legs as she rested her head against Serena's arm. Finally, the words bubbling in her mind refused to stay inside, and she drew in a deep breath. "Maybe they don't know how to deal with your grief, and so they stay away from fear of hurting you more. Which is ridiculous, Morven knows grief like an old friend."
"So does Ric. But they were sad. I'm not sad. I'm angry, so angry."
Jasmine shook her head a little as she bit her lip. "I don't know you, not that well, but I know when you're lying to yourself, because I've done that too much. I know the symptoms of that. I really think you are incredibly sad, and are using anger and loudness to cover up the soft sorrow that is eating at your heart."
There was a brief silence, broken by the sound of Serena's phone going off. Jasmine giggled a little to hear the sound of the TARDIS, and Serena softly swatted her knee as she leaned forward and picked it up. "Bernie apologized, too," she whispered, a brief moment of happiness breaking through the sorrow that had lined her voice since Jasmine had found her. "Darling, you don't have to spend the night, I'll be fine now."
"Well, be that as it may, I told Morven that I would be here all night, and I don't really want to go back."
"Maybe you need to reach out to her, too."
"Touché, Serena," she murmured as she pulled out her phone and sent a message to her friend, letting her know that Serena was okay, and that she would bring coffee for them both in the morning. "There, I did the hard thing, too."
"Thank you." Jasmine smiled a little when Serena leaned over and pressed her lips to the crown of her head before nudging her gently. "Get up, we're both exhausted and need our sleep." Jasmine nodded a little as she stood, grabbing the kettle handle and her mug, taking them into the kitchen. Serena was close behind her, and they set their mugs in the sink almost in tandem. "Put water in those, would you?"
She nodded as she did so, watching Serena pour out the excess tea. There was something so homey about their actions, and she was reminded of the good times with her mum. "Serena?"
"Yes, Jasmine?"
"I promise I'll do better tomorrow at work. I'll try not to disappoint you again." She wasn't quite prepared for the way that Serena embraced her tightly, but she returned the hug, nuzzling her face into the crook of the woman's shoulder as she tried to keep from sobbing on her shoulder, wondering if it really was possible to be more than the person her mother had formed her to be.