I hate myself. With what I have put her through I hate myself. My little girl has been hurt because I wasn't there to protect her. I wasn't there to save her from the monster like I told her I would. My little girl has been raped and she hasn't even told me about it. I had to hear from a guy that I grew up with that she was found in a field raped. That was three months ago and still she hasn't said one word about it. She claims that she has no idea who did it but I fear that she does. But how can I ask her when she didn't even want me to know? What has she done to deserve this? Nothing and I know this. No she is being punished because of me. I couldn't be there to save her and there is nothing I can do for her.

I don't even see her anymore when I get home. She hates me and I deserve it. I have let her down too many times. I have not been there for my little girl. I'm sorry Sadie that I couldn't be the man that you fell for. She deserves so much more. She always has and I can't even give it to her. No wonder she hates me like she does. No wonder I can't talk to her. And no wonder she is never there anymore. I blame myself for this. I blame myself and I hate myself for doing this.

Sapphire slammed the book closed that threw it at the wall. Then she picked up the box and threw it at the wall too. She wasn't going to read anymore of them. No she couldn't. Not after reading that. A few seconds later there was pounding on her door and she rolled her eyes. "Go away!"

"What the hell are you doing in there?" Mark asked through the door.

"Leave me alone Mark!!!" She screamed at him and he went quiet.

She tore off her clothes and headed towards the bathroom before the door flew open and four guys were standing there staring at her naked body. She was frozen in spot and couldn't think to cover herself. Then she snapped out of it and glared at them as she tried to find something that would cover her up. "GET THE FUCK OUT!!!"

They all rushed out and Jeff slammed the door shut behind them before they all leaned against the wall in shock. "DAMN IT!!!" They heard through the door and couldn't stop from laughing. They heard something hit the wall behind them and quickly shut up before they all headed back to Mark's room to talk about what just happened.

Sapphire was sitting in the tub with the water almost boiling hot as she rocked back and forth. "I can't believe I agreed to this shit."

Tears slowly poured down her cheeks as she remembered the night that she had blocked out many years ago.

"Look at this guys Miss Mills in the flesh walking instead of driving the car daddy got her." A cold male voice said form behind her as she tightened the grip on her jacket and pulled it around her more.

"Are you in a hurry little girl?" The voice asked her in her ear and she picked up speed.

Then she just took off running praying they would leave her alone. But it wasn't meant to be and she knew that when she was tackled from behind by more than one guy. "Is the little girl scared?"

She didn't say anything as they turned her over and held her on the ground. "Now we can't have fun with her right beside the road so why don't we take her to the field?"

"Yeah." All but one said.

"What are you guys doing to her?" The other one asked him.

"We are going to take what she won't give man. I know that I'm not the only one that has had a wet dream because of this girl." The one that was leaning over her said and she closed her eyes.

They carried her into the field and ripped off her clothes. Sapphire tried to block the pain as they took turns with her body. She tried to pretend that it was all a nightmare. By time they all were done she wasn't even in her body anymore. No she was soaring up in the sky with her mother. But soon the pain came over her and she woke up screaming the first scream since that happened. She heard as people called her name and she screamed louder. No words just screamed and screamed. Even after they found her she screamed and screamed.

That night everything in her died and she had blamed him too. She had blamed him because he wasn't there. She had blamed him because he had lied. HE didn't save her from the monsters and she hated him. She hated him not knowing that he hated himself for it too.

By time Sapphire got out of the water it was ice cold and she didn't care. She wrapped herself in a towel and went to bed without even turning the lights out. No it would be a long time once again before she could sleep with the lights off.

Mark looked in on her the next morning and he could tell that something was wrong. She looked pale and looked like she had been crying all night long. So he covered her up and felt her head. She was burning up and he couldn't understand how she got sick until he noticed the towel sticking out of the covers. He sighed and went to go talk to the Doc.

He stopped at Jeff's room first and told him what he was doing and asked him to stay with her until they got back. As soon as Jeff went into her room he rushed down to the elevator and headed down to the third floor. When he got to the Doc he told him what he thinks happened and they both hurried up back to her room.

When they walked in Mark looked at her in horror as she backed herself in a corner with a lamp and wild eyes. "Sapphire baby girl what's wrong?"

"Stay away from me monster." She growled and he sighed.

"Doc why is she doing this?" Mark asked him as he spotted Jeff knocked out in the bathroom floor.

"She is Walter's daughter right?" Doc asked him.

"Yeah." Mark said to him.

"She was raped wasn't she?" He asked him.

"Yeah but how did you know Walter didn't even know... He knew didn't he?" He asked him.

"He found out three months after it happened. He went crazy. He wrote about it in his journal. You know the ones that you are making her read." He said to him.

"She must have read it last night." Mark said in realization.

"It caused all the pain and memories to come flooding back. She called you monster because that is how she sees us all right now. We are the monsters. I think you need to get Linda down here. She might be able to help with this. I will be getting her some sleeping pills. She needs to be watched until she can get through all of this. That means no more rooming alone. Stephanie should room with her until she gets over seeing us as monsters. Then she will most likely more comfortable rooming with one of you. No more letting her read the journals. She shouldn't read them until she is really over his death." Doc said to him.

"We were just trying to help her see that he did love her." Mark said to him.

"I know this but it's too soon." Doc said before Mark left to get the two women.

Sapphire watched them all closely. She already got one monster. Now there were four. She watched them and every time they looked like they were coming near her she lifter the lamp. "Stay Back Beast!!!"

"Sapphire dear put the lamp down we are only trying to help you." Linda said as she kneeled at least ten feet away from her.

"You came with the monsters how can I trust you?" Sapphire asked her in a voice that sounded like it belong to a child.

"I can get rid of the monsters." Linda said to her softly.

"Really? You can make them all go away?" Sapphire asked her in hope.

"Yes I can make them all go away child." Linda said before she turned to the guys and said. "Leave this child be!!!"

They all nodded and left the room leaving her with the two women. Sapphire sobbed out in relief and put the lamp at her feet. "Monsters hurt me caused daddy not to love me."

Linda wanted to cry. She wanted to hold her to her chest and rock her until she was asleep but she didn't. She just sat there and watched her. "You are safe now."

"They won't come back?" Sapphire asked her.

"No the monsters won't come back." Linda said as she held out her hand to her.

Sapphire slowly scooted out until she could reach her hand and then took it. Linda pulled her too her and wrapped her arms around her. "Rest now child I will be here to protect you."

"Why did the monsters have to cause daddy to not love me?" Sapphire asked her before she closed her eyes and laid her head in Linda's lap.

"Your daddy never stopped loving you child. No he never stopped loving you." Linda said as she ran her fingers through the girl's hair as she drifted off to sleep.

Stephanie watched her as she stroked her hair and felt such pain for Sapphire. She never knew anyone that had gone through a rape and to have it come back like this never crossed her mind. She shook herself out of her thoughts and picked up the box and books before she packed them away. She wouldn't be reading these again anytime soon.

Then she left and went out to the hallway. Everyone looked at her and she shook her head. "Mom has her head in her lap and she is asleep. Honestly I didn't think that she would even let mom touch her. But she is asleep now and I believe that we will be moving her to the pent house and making the boys get out. Shane can have her room since it's the only one with one bed."

They all nodded as she talked even though they weren't really listening to her. No they were thinking about what she had said and did. "Why did she call us monsters?"

"Right now all men are monsters to her no matter if they weren't the ones that did it to her or not. Her dad always said he would be there to keep the monsters away but he wasn't and she thinks that we are monsters because of what a group of men did to her in a corn field." Doc said to them.

"You know what happened don't you?" Mark asked him.

"I do but I am not telling any of you because I have no right to tell it. She is the one that has the right. Walter told me because I saw something was wrong before anyone else did. He never even told Vince." Doc said to them.