Enough with my excuses, on with the show...

White Rabbit – The Debutante and The Boxer – Winging It – Her Again – Stand Still

"It's official. I'm stoned."

The girl on the deck chair to my left laughed like a breathless hyena hardly surprised by my random declaration. I smiled through a smoke ring, circling its pattern with my pinky. "Look it's a telescope." She laughed again, spurring me on. "I can see Pegasus, Cassiopeia, and two cows humping. Or…wait…are those ponies?"

"Stop. I can't. You're going to make me pee my pants."

"The pool's right there." I pointed ahead.

"Gross." She shivered dramatically. "Can you please pass that?" I handed over a rolled cigarette stuffed with Mike's favorite herb.

"You're so weird." She said as an afterthought.

"Tell me your name again. I like when you say it."

"You just like my accent."

"That I do."

"Mary Alice. Mary Alice Brandon."

I repeated it in my most venerable imitation of Southern aristocracy then added, "Why, Miss Mary Alice, you look lovely and most fetching tonight." I voiced this as if we were of genteel society standing on the hot porch of some grand mansion and not – absolutely not – two trespassing residents of the same apartment complex, sitting poolside on a cool October night.

I ignored the sharp scent of chlorine aggravating my smoky imagination.

I heard her exhale a puff. In her swaying lilt, she played along. "Why thank you, Edward, I sure do appreciate the nice things you do say." She coughed lightly, breaking character. "I think that last hit just rushed to my head. Holy crow, that's lovely. It's like I'm holding my breath and floating at the same time but I'm still breathing, see?"

I kept my eyes on the fluffy clouds of smoke. She didn't expect an answer from me. Both of us had been happily rambling in dreamy fashion since we started in with the weed.

"I don't do this very much," she said sheepishly.

"What?"

"Smoke."

"Neither do I. My friend, Mike, gave it to me tonight. I think he felt sorry for me."

"Why did he feel sorry for you?"

"We were supposed to hit the road this weekend and they forgot. Me, Emmett, and the rest of the guys, that is. They're all on dates. Emmett on a date, it's the end of an era." I lamented, happy for the lug but nostalgic, nevertheless. "Then there's Ben, he's got a girlfriend that no one's met yet and Mike, the guy that gave me the weed, he's with his wife."

"Your friend's married? Jeesh, I don't have any married friends. That would make me feel so old."

"Nah, he's not married. But it's Jessica, he might as well be."

I closed my eyes and hummed a tune, no longer feeling half as abandoned as I had been before bumping into Mary Alice.

"Oh. That's too bad." She passed me the joint. "It was nice of him to share this with you, right?"

I took another hit, bored with my sad situation. I didn't want to be sullen, I wanted to play a character in a Tennessee Williams play, overtaken by Southern charm and fantasy, but she wouldn't let me.

"Tell me your name again."

"No, not again."

"Mary Alice," I sang. "Can't you just pick one? Like Mary?"

"No. I hate that one."

"How about Alice. Just Alice. Has a nice ring, like through the looking glass, Alice in Wonder –"

"Don't. Definitely not Alice. I have two names, deal with it."

"Alrighty then. Sorry."

"It's okay." She paused. "Edward Anthony."

We laughed at that. Did I really think her laugh was like a hyena a moment ago? Wow. Wrong. It was huskier and so feminine I wanted to roll around in it. Suddenly I was highly aware of the girl I met in the laundry room.

Resigned to another Friday night solo, I got the brilliant idea to pass the time by getting high and doing laundry. Mary Alice happened to be the only other resident in need of clean jeans and we struck up a conversation. As it turned out, we had both been displaced for the evening.

"Thanks for hanging out." I said bravely.

"I was bored."

"Right."

"And you were bored," she teased.

"You do me great service. Oh, and don't forget sulking. You said earlier that I was sulking."

"Right. And you were sulking." She did not hold back on the smart mouth. On slim lips, I observed silently. I peeked from one eye and took her in. Slimmer hips.

I sighed and rubbed my chest. My head was everywhere like I was a million Edwards and none of them wholly me.

"You were staring into the dryer like you were waiting for it to suck you in. It was rather funny."

"You can't even use a dryer. I taught you how to operate a washing machine."

"Touché and mean. It takes all the chivalry away when you remind a lady of her shortcomings."

"You are a lady and you're short."

"Stop. I thought you were nice."

I looked over at Mary Alice who was smiling toward the pool as if she were saying lines to an faraway actor.

The clubhouse pool was quiet and lonely save for both of us. It was silent, as if we were the last two people on Earth. "The lights under the pool…"

She turned to me. "Yeah?"

"Glowing like a spaceship's about to hover out of it."

She scrunched her face, searching for the image. She shook it off dismissively. "I can't imagine." I shrugged. It was like tracing cloud shapes – you either saw it or you didn't.

I reached over to her, passing. "Thanks for sharing," she said sincerely.

I nodded. Finding a girl in the laundry room and striking up a conversation wasn't my modus operandi, but I was already on a first class trip into the Twilight Zone, and Mary Alice hopped on board after I cavalierly confessed to owning a joint. Without missing a beat, she suggested the pool. Was I that non-threatening? Or was she just gullible?

She interrupted my swirling monologue. "You don't need your friends for a good time," she started idly. I took a drink of water. She said, "You have me for a good time."

I coughed, water sputtering. Shit. I've had girls throw themselves at me, but…

"Oh my God, that's so not what I meant! That came out wrong."

I waved it off. "Forget it. I didn't interpret it…like that," I lied.

That's when I really took stock of my companion chastising herself, and muttering under her breath. It was amusing. She didn't come off as fast and loose. She came across as a good girl who thought herself worldly, but in the few hours since meeting her, I found her perspective was bound within the city limits of her hometown in Biloxi, Mississippi.

She was a transfer student and this was her first time on her own. I got the impression she was working on being bold. I wouldn't have blinked if she confessed smoking pot with a stranger was one of the riskiest things she'd ever done. I pictured her among the polished girls on Sorority Row, not sitting in the semi-dark with the likes of me.

Her features were as delicate as a teacup, fragile under huge, guileless eyes. She tucked her raven-colored hair behind her ear. I attributed it to habit, seeing as it was cut to the nape of her neck and brilliantly shiny like mussed, black feathers. It was her profile, illuminated by the dim moon that prompted me to ask.

"You ever been to the New Orleans?"

"What? Oh. Um, once. When I was a little girl. Why?"

Of course it wasn't her. She didn't give me the funnies. No doubt Mary Alice was a looker, but she was young and the sparks weren't flying in that 'look over the side at the top of the roller coaster' kind of way. I knew it was a long shot but it sure would have been convenient.

"No reason." I folded my knees up and reverted back to mapping the stars, wondering if I had made her up. Two glasses of absinthe couldn't have messed me up that night. I thought about it in my drug-induced haze: I recalled the clamor of the Quarter, the scent of the river, sweat, and cloying flowers. Those things I knew were real. But was she?

"Are you brooding again?"

"You think you have me pegged, don't you?"

"It's not so hard, you keep frowning like someone stole your kitty," she laughed. "Hey! You know what we need? We need snacks! I'm starving."

"I can raid my fridge." I offered.

"Me, too."

"Meet back in fifteen?"

"Perfect."

"Use the cinder block to keep the gate open," I reminded her. "It shuts automatically after ten."

In my apartment, I snagged all of Emmett's Ho-Hos and Pop Tarts, still pissed that he forgot our plans to hang out tonight. I grabbed a bag of chips and two waters, then backtracked and snatched another joint from my room. Mary Alice wasn't a bad sport and I was having a good time chilling by the pool so why not? Heading back to the clubhouse under the cover of night with my stash, a wave of the same excitement I felt before a road trip hit me. The difference was that for once, I didn't care where I was headed.

When I returned the gate was propped open but there was no Mary Alice. I set my stuff down between our lounge chairs and settled in with the chips. I lost myself in soft glow of the green pool dappled in fluorescent light.

Not since Rose had I enjoyed a casual conversation with a girl that had nothing to do with school or everyday platitudes – no agendas on either end. Twenty-one years old and I made it all this time without any real experience, no touching, no groping. I had never even held a girl's hand. Before my friends disappeared, I'd watch them lay it on thick as hot girls stepped up to us. I wasn't nervous around the ladies, but I never made a pass even when it would have been welcomed.

It was like girls were visitors in our bubble, but since my buddies had all taken off with the fairer sex, I'd been left behind – the odd man out. I was the last guy on the field.

I hoped Mary Alice didn't think I was out to take advantage of her. She was easy to talk to and I hoped she didn't expect anything from me. Did I come off as desperate in asking her to join me? It wasn't my style to creep in laundry rooms, stalking innocent girls like a vampire in the night by the light of a full…

"I got music," Mary Alice said, walking up behind me and nudging me with her hip. She held up a small stereo in one hand. I bolted out of my paranoid fuzz, my heart pounded as if guilty.

"All I could find were Triscuits, Twizzlers, and grapes. Sorry, but my roommate insisted we go on a diet together." She dropped a canvas bag between us and sat in her spot, smiling easily at me.

"You don't need to diet," I blurted.

Her head shot up from rummaging in her bag. She blinked at me. "Oh?"

"I mean. You're fine. You look fine." Oh, hell. In for a penny, in for a pound. "I don't know why you girls want to fix what's not broken. It looks like so much effort," I said straightening my legs out.

"Of course you don't understand. You're a guy. Slap another twenty pounds on you and you'd still be hot. Me? I'm barely five-oh and one measly pound, I'd look like a puffer fish." I stared at her, wide-eyed, as she puffed her cheeks and fanned her hands like gills. A slow smile crept across my face from ear to ear.

"What?" She paused her mimicry. I was making her nervous, I could see it in her eyes and it made my smile go wider. "You said I'm hot."

She pursed her lips and threw a box of Triscuits at me. "You dork. That wasn't my point."

I let it go for her sake, but my ego was happily stroked. I sat back with the crackers and opened the package. "I know your point," I said, biting into one and spitting it out just as fast. I looked at her accusingly. "This tastes like sawdust. How can you stand it?" I placed the offending crackers to the side. "Here, take back your bird food. I know your point. Your point's that girls are determined to ruin a good thing."

I ripped open the box of blueberry Pop-Tarts and told her in no uncertain terms: "No matter how sexy you girls are, you're always trying harder. Guys can tell if you try too hard. What's with that anyway? Ordering salads, putting on make-up to workout. We'll notice anything that walks, especially if you're hot."

I interrupted my rambling to bite into the foil packet when a shadow fell in front of me, blocking my view of the pool. Mary Alice stood, hands on hips, her blue eyes flashing victory, a wicked smile on her face. She jutted her hip to one side. I appreciated her legs, reaching up into a pair of white shorts. She wore a tight, long-sleeved FSU shirt. She looked like she could eat me alive if I dared myself to allow it.

I made myself hold her gaze.

"I'm sorry." She cupped a hand to her ear. "I didn't hear that. Who's sexy now?"

I leaned against the backrest and crossed my arms. I didn't know where my bravado had come from, whether it was my cottonhead or observing Emmett through the years, but I felt like a guy called up from the bench. I was stoned. I was relaxed. I was clearly happy to play her game. What I said next sounded as if it came from over my shoulder by a guy ten times more charming than me.

"Yeah," I admitted freely. "You're hot." I shrugged. "I can own that."

That's right, Mary Alice, get flustered.

"And you should know, hot girls don't need diets." Her cocky little stance faltered. "You know what they need, instead?"

She whispered, "What?"

I leaned forward slowly, matching her earlier teasing smile. "Pop Tarts." I threw a packet at her and whistled admiringly when she caught it.

"Oh my God, you jerk!" She threw up her hands and sat down, fumbling with the radio dial, muttering about dumb boys. "You're such a player."

"Me? You offend me," I said askance, grinning that she would believe my acting. "I'm the boy your mother wanted you to meet, sweetheart."

"Ha. Right." I didn't know what I said, but her tone told me I killed the levity. She found a radio station and crossed her legs, a bag of Twizzlers in her hand. "No offense, Edward, but my mother would kill me if I brought you home." She smiled sadly. "She practically has a questionnaire written up for every one of my suitors. The first thing she'd ask is what you're majoring in."

"Biology," I replied, curious as to where she was taking this.

"On track to med school?"

"Not even close. I hate it. I prefer my minor, writing."

She laughed and slapped her knee. "A writer, even better! She would totally hate you then. And where are your parents from?"

"They're not from anywhere. We live in Buffalo, my dad and I."

"She'd hate that, too."

"Thanks," I said. My ego was sufficiently deflated. "I get it."

She continued to smile, shaking her head. "No you don't. Trust me, there's nothing wrong with you. It's her. She's the one who cares how people perceive her. She's so shallow, it makes me crazy. She'll make herself crazy, and me in the process, trying to set me up. I swear she came out of a different era." Mary Alice spoke with abject resignation. "She would love it if we went back to arranged marriages. 'It would make my life less complicated.' Her words not mine."

"That sucks. You're mother's a – "

"Witch."

"I wasn't going to say that."

"You can. You should."

I put my hands up. "Not for me to say. But, yeah, she doesn't have her priorities straight. She should lay off. You gotta tell her that you're your own woman, it's your life."

"Easy for you to say. For my coming out party, she handpicked my escort knowing full well I had my mind set on someone else. Everything was perfect, just the way I wanted it, but when it was time to choose my date, I wasn't allowed…she didn't let me. I ended up going with the fat son of her investment broker instead of my first choice. It ruined everything."

"You were a debutante?"

She nodded. "Transferring schools was the best thing I could have done."

"I'm sorry to hear it."

"She calls me every day, ten times a day. She'd freak if she knew what I was up to. You guys, you have it all. You get away with everything."

"We get pressured, too."

"Yeah? How?"

Let's see: sex, sports, school, sex. Be better, faster, smarter, richer. Play the field, play the guitar, play the asshole, play the angel. What we're not, we should be. No pressure.

"Did I tell you I work at the gym?"

"Like campus gym?"

"No. Volturi's Boxing Club." She adjusted her sitting position and tucked her hands into her sleeves. "You cold?"

"No. I'm good. What do you do at the gym?"

"Train with the boxers, spar, help them with footwork, find their weaknesses. Whatever they need me to do."

"So you box?"

"Not competitively. I've been going there ever since my freshman year just to work out, learn how to fight. But then I went all the time. I got hooked on the routine. I went so much, they asked if I wanted to get paid. I started cleaning, tutoring – "

"Tutor?"

"Yeah, I'll get to that. Anyway, I got better and stronger and Aro – the owner – he took notice. He started badgering me last year to compete. Hasn't let up since. Talk about pressure. You get a fifty-five-year-old ex-fighter yelling in your face all the time to work harder, be better. 'Work off that hunger, Edward.' That's Aro."

"You can quit. I can't quit my family. It's not the same."

I watched Mary Alice's shoulders slump. The spitfire had burned out and I wasn't saying shit to make her feel better. "No, maybe it's not. But I can't quit, either."

I fished the second joint out of my jeans and presented it to Alice. She nodded and threw the lighter over.

"Why can't you quit the gym?"

I took a hit. I exhaled, grateful that Mike had taken pity on me before heading out for the night. The conversation was getting heavy for two people who had only just met, but since she was in the same lonely boat as me, I could afford to ramble on. We had nothing better to do.

Seconds had passed since her question, but with the new smoke blooming in my lungs, it was as if I had missed answering by an hour. "They're like a family to me. Caius, Aro's brother, he's been my trainer since I started. Real nice guy, the opposite of Aro. Patient. And then there's Felix."

I handed the joint to her. I told her about my second home until the bud's orange glow flickered out between us.

"I love it there. I know Aro's an asshole, but everyone else…everyone else is family. Boxers get a bad rap, but they're just like you and me. They want family, love, money, and a place to call home. Like Felix. Imagine this two-hundred-and-seventy-five-pound, six-seven behemoth of a man. He's a mountain, right? A wall. He's got these small, mouse-like eyes. He's got these ears, we call them 'cauliflower' ears cause that's the shape they turn to after years of getting pounded in the head."

"Sounds brutal so far, Edward." Her voice, as if miles away, sounded unconvinced.

"What if I told you he's a real pussycat? I mean, when he's in the ring, he'll clobber a guy, fists like stone. But outside of the ring, he's a gentle giant. He fights for the money, nothing more. The other guy in the ring with him? Same thing. It's not personal. Hell, it's not even angry. It's work."

I put my hands behind my neck and got comfy. "You see, he's twenty-five. When I met him, I was like a little cockroach. I scrambled away from him and huddled in my corner, keeping away. When he wasn't looking, I would copy his moves. I'd watch him shred the speed bag. Did you know," I laughed, recalling, "He was upset because I kept my distance? This imposing boxer was hurt, I mean hurt. Damn. It's because of him that I started to train. He told Caius – the best trainer this side of the Mississippi, by the way – that he wanted me to be his sparring partner. That took me by surprise. I couldn't run a mile when Caius got a hold of me. I couldn't jump rope longer than thirty seconds before my feet got tangled up."

"You got in shape."

"Yeah – in more ways than one. But, Felix, he came up to me one day and asked me to help him 'with the books'. He was illiterate when I met him and now we have our own book club, if you can believe it."

"Are you making this up?"

"Nope. Felix is a sweetheart. Then there's Caius and Aro. Picture a two-by-four and give it arms and legs. Then put a head on it, a face with a pointed nose and a chin that juts out with a billy goat's beard. Now slick back the gray hair into a receding widow's peak and put it in a ponytail – that's Aro. Make a second one, but take away the beard and ponytail, and add kind eye – that's Caius. They're as different as night and day. And different, still, from their other brother."

I turned on my side and looked at Mary Alice who had her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry, I'm boring you."

"Oh, no. I'm listening. You paint quite a picture. But you're not telling me what I want to hear."

"What's that?" I sat up and rested on my elbow.

"I want to know about the hot, sweaty guys working out at your gym." She smiled with her eyes closed.

"Girls. That's all you guys want, buff guys in Everlast shorts."

"Oh, that sounds good. Keep going."

"Ha-ha."

I lost my train of thought and focused on the crickets. The radio was playing, but Mary Alice had turned it down.

"It's late." She pointed to the sky. "That star was over there earlier and now it's over there," she said, swinging her arm in an arc.

"Head back?" I wasn't ready to go in yet, but decided I'd see her to her door if she wanted to.

"No. I'm good."

I nodded.

"Wait!"

"What?" I asked.

"Edward, do you hear that?" she whispered urgently.

"Hear what?"

She held a finger up for a beat, and then said, "There. That scream. Hear it?"

I strained to listen for a pitch, but couldn't make out what she was referring to. I shook my head. Mary Alice stood up, her head cocked toward the parking lot. "That. There. Like a woman screaming. I think someone's streaking!"

"I don't hear – "

"There it is!" A car had pulled up into the complex, tires on gravel was all I heard. Every sounds was amplified, but if I plucked the nighttime chords out one by one…

"Oh!" I cracked up.

"What?" She turned to me expectantly.

"That's not streaking, Mary Alice. Listen." I turned up the volume on the radio. She sat down when she heard the opening to The Payback.

"It's a song?"

I swung my legs over to the side, facing her and nodded groovily to the song. "Not just any song. James Brown."

"Oh, God." She covered up her face. "That's so embarrassing. It totally sounds like a woman screaming in that." She moved to change the dial.

"Oh no you don't. That's a great song."

"What? Are you serious? This is the kind of music my dad listens to."

"Man's got good taste," I said, my shoulders moving of their own accord.

"James Brown? That's so old school."

"Yeah, but that's where the best music is. Brown was the man!" I got up and moved feeling light as a feather. "He's the Godfather of Soul, woman. Soul brother number one."

"Oh my God, you really are high!"

I shook my head, eyes closed, dancing like she wasn't even there. "Stone-cold sober, hand over heart, dollface, I'd still say it. He's all the soul you need."

I offered her my hand. "C'mon, get up."

"No way."

"Stand up. C'mon."

"What?"

"Don't be shy."

I pulled her up and got down to the funk like a man possessed, sliding side to side, showing off the moves I learned in front of the mirror when I was a young boy. I did it to make my mother laugh, remembering how she loved to hear his music when she went on a baking spree. Upon the first bass chord, I'd pop into the kitchen, spinning and grunting to the jam making her double over in hysterics. It was our thing. There, under the cover of night, cloaked in a velvet headspace, I thought of my mother with a smile.

The song worked its way from percussion to horns, I could practically see the black sheen of sweat under Brown's magnificent hair and when the grunts pushed up against bass guitar, I channeled my old hero. I shimmied with my eyes closed, dipping my hips into Mary Alice who stood there giggling so hard at my antics it only egged me on. I was too shitfaced to care about acting the fool.

"You even do the spin," she laughed. I nodded smugly and pulled her in, rocking our hips. I twirled her like she was a yo-yo and pulled her back into a low dip.

When the song ended we gulped down air, unable to control our ridiculousness. "You get down for a white boy, Edward!"

I flopped back on my chair. I wished we had a whole album of soul to listen to but the song ended too quickly. I collected myself. "My best friend taught me some moves, too."

"Emmett? That's the big guy, right?"

"No, no. Although, that would be hysterical. My friend, Rose, from back home. She made me, wouldn't let me take her to the prom until I learned how to lead."

I was heady from the adrenaline and all I wanted right then was to keep my heart racing. I eyed the pool considering my options. To swim or not to swim.

"Ooh, turn it up. It's INXS."

"It's already up. We're going to wake the neighbors."

Mary Alice ignored me. "See, this I can dance to." Based on how she gyrated her hips, I'd say she had broken through her earlier modesty.

Fuck.

"It's, like, the sexiest song ever." She closed her eyes and threw her head back. I scooted up my chair, worked up by the show in front of me. I was sure she didn't dance like this at her debutante ball.

"This part, right here, is my favorite…oh, shit – " she stumbled and landed square on my thighs. "Oh God, I'm sorry. I – "

She was so light, like a hot dream writhing on my caged-up libido. It took one pause, one seductive gaze from her for me to give in to primitive impulse. I didn't need experience to drum up what happened next. It felt as if a stranger inhabited my body, sliding her up my torso until my lips fastened on hers. My knees lifted to the sky, reflexively, caging her between my legs and I plunged right in like a man coming out of a drought.

I hadn't been worked up for a girl and acted on it until Mary Alice's hands landed on me. My mind scrambled the signals, my gut twisted painful pleasure. The principle was in the kiss, just how I imagined it – a girl on top of me, her hands twisted in my hair, guttural and unfocused. And licks, licks, everywhere licks.

Fuck, this is delicious.

She pulled away first and looked down at me, speaking slowly. "I haven't been kissed like that since…well, since a long time."

I swallowed and threw my head back, unable to give voice to the same thing. I had never kissed anyone like that. I sucked in air through my mouth as if I'd sprinted to the finish.

I wanted to apologize for being so forward but I didn't have it in me to lie. "That was fun," I said, catching my breath.

She smiled, faking coy. We made out again, each of us taking what they needed. Just for tonight was my passing thought. I had no idea if I'd see her again. I cared and I didn't care. I didn't think beyond pulling her lip into my mouth.

She eked out a frustrated sound and yanked herself away but I didn't feel bad. I was panting like a puppy happy for the bone. Being miserably horny was a state of mind for me. It was a big part of why I worked out and kept a busy schedule, so I could ignore it. I held my tongue from coming off like a loser and thanking Mary Alice for a taste of her.

"That was ridiculously good, Edward."

I sat up, giving her space on the edge of my chair. "That was…yeah." I cleared my throat. "I'm sor – "

"Don't say you're sorry. I'm not. That was all in good fun."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not that kind of girl. I don't do this stuff, though."

"I know. I know."

She stood. "We need to cool off. You cool? I'm cool. We both need to cool, okay?" I smiled, glad I wasn't the only one disoriented.

She pulled me up and led me to the edge of the pool. "C'mon. Let's dip our feet in."

"Now?"

"What, are you shy now, Edward Cullen?" She winked at me, breaking us out of our lusty spell. She held my hand like we'd known each other all of our lives. I let her lead me like a willing kite.

"Alright, Brandon." I would have rather made out again but I was in no condition to push it.

I rolled up my jeans and we sat with our feet in the water, the white-green glow below disfiguring our feet like a funhouse mirror. She rested on the palms of her hands, looking up at the changing night. The moon had disappeared below the tree line.

Exhaustion set in. I couldn't wait for my head to hit my pillow with the memory of a kiss to melt into.

"There was someone." She said quietly.

I had guessed. "The guy you wanted to escort you to the ball?"

She gazed at the pool, her expression bittersweet. "Yeah. He asked to take me and I said yes. Then my mom put her foot down and made me go with Peter. It was so horrible and awkward when I told him. He left a month later. His parents moved to Texas and he went with them even though he could have stayed with his grandparents. I think he thought I didn't like him."

"But you did."

"So much."

"What was his name?"

"Jasper," she said with a half-smile. She looked at me ruefully from the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry, it's tacky to bring that up after we just made out."

No. It wasn't flattering to hear about some guy she held a candle for immediately after making out with me, but I couldn't come up with a reason to lose sleep over it, either. "It's alright. It's just my luck," I said feigning disappointment. "A hot girl like you doesn't want to marry me after one kiss. I'm losing my edge."

"Stop!" She slapped my arm. "And it was more than one kiss."

"It was a good kiss."

"A great fucking kiss."

I smiled. I was so tired right then, I could have fallen asleep on the concrete.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"What about you? I know you're not winging this."

Little did she know. She asked, "What's her name?"

Man, if I had a penny for every time I asked myself that question, I would be rich enough to send a search and rescue mission through the streets of New Orleans.

I hung my head and shrugged. "I don't know yet."

Mary Alice stirred the water with her foot. I think she wanted to hug me. I was glad when she didn't, I wasn't in a pitiful mood.

"I don't know what's worse, knowing who you're supposed to be with when they're not yours or not knowing at all."

"Maybe it's the same thing," I offered.

"How do you handle it?"

"I take it day by day. It's not always lonely being alone. It's not that bad."

She splashed me with her foot. "We can be alone together."

I turned to her and found myself in front of a shy woman trying to be brave and tough. Nothing about tonight led me to believe she wanted casual sex any more than I did. I may have had fun, but I knew where my heart drew the line. No, to me, Mary Alice was the new girl in town, trying desperately to be independent. I gathered she just wanted to be rebellious for once. "Let me guess, you want to slum it up with me just to piss off your mom."

"When you put it that way, it does sound rather appealing."

I laughed loudly, admiring her pugnaciousness. "Your honesty is refreshing."

"Day by day, right?"

"Now you're getting it." I nodded. "Day by day."

Two weeks after my nightscapade with Mary Alice, I was almost sideswiped by a speeding red truck as I ran on a narrow country road. I cursed after it uselessly with a mouthful of kicked up dust. It put me in a sour mood since it was my favorite route for its peacefulness and soothing views of farmland as far as the eye could see.

I had been enjoying a steady tempo when the truck's horn jarred me out of my reverie, forcing me to stumble forward into a bush. It swerved a hard left, stalling halfway down the opposite bank into an irrigation ditch.

It would serve you right.

I straightened as it reversed, expecting a contrite driver to step out and apologize, but the best I got was a hurried "So sorry", yelled out from the driver side. It was a woman's voice and before I could provide crude feedback to that lame apology, she sped off, the flatbed fishtailing dangerously. A dog yelped from the cab and poked its shaggy head out the window, staring back at me bleary-eyed as if accustomed to its owner's recklessness.

It was in a surly state that I rounded the bend and headed back to the gym. Up a short incline, the converted red-bricked firehouse loomed before me. I detoured through the parking lot, noticing that only Caius' car was there. Aro had been away all week on a scouting expedition. I wove through the cars and to my surprise, I halted before a dainty visitor.

After my near-death experience, she was a welcome sight.

I slowed to a jog and walked up to Mary Alice, who stood by her car. As I neared, she put her hand up to her mouth, amazed.

"What happened to you? You looked like you had a fight with a tornado and lost."

"Some jerk almost killed me out there. Ran me off the side of the road and didn't even stop to apologize." She reached up and ran a finger along my shoulder, wiping the dust off on the back pocked of her jeans.

"Maybe they got distracted," she said with mischief.

"What do you mean? There's nothing to distract, it's all crop fields out there."

"Nevermind," she sighed.

I leaned on her car and became distracted myself. It wasn't everyday I had a visitor at the gym. "What brings you here? No offense, but I didn't think I'd see you again."

She looked chagrined but I wasn't ruffled by her absence. I had thought about her, sure, but we didn't exchange numbers and to me, I had filed our night as a fluke.

"So this is your second home?"

"Yeah. I'd give you a tour but Caius is here and…how do I say this? He's weird about women entering his gym. He thinks they'll bring a curse down on his fighters or something. I don't know."

"It's okay. Do they all look like you in there?"

I grinned. "I'm the best."

She put her head back and laughed. "Okay, you. I dropped by to see if you were hungry. Your roommate told me you'd be here."

"I'm always hungry. Look at me. I'm a guy. I want food twenty-four, seven. Are you going to feed me?"

"If you're lucky."

"Not to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything, but are you going to feed me more Triscuits? They're horrible. Please don't feed me diet food. I have an allergic reaction to 'health food'."

She shook her head and reached into the back seat, muttering. Always with the muttering. She unloaded a picnic basket. "I was planning on feasting on fried chicken this afternoon."

Mary Alice opened the lid. "Oh?" I reached in. She snapped it shut on my fingers. "Ow, tease. Keep talking. What else is in there?"

"Biscuits, gravy, potato salad, corn. And sweet tea. And apple pie."

My jaw dropped. "Don't move. Don't move a muscle. Stay right here," I said, backing away. "You are going to save me from a shitty day. Give me twenty. No, ten. Ten minutes. Give me ten to wash up!"

The last thing I heard was her giggling as I sprinted to the showers.

We picnicked in the park. Mary Alice had settled us on a large blanket, plying me with enough food to stuff an elephant.

I had fallen asleep on my back. I was stirred into a wakeful drowsiness by the sudden presence of a lonely cloud cooling me from the sun. The temperature had dropped, as had my hand to the hip of Mary Alice. She was burrowed, her hair sticking up like a porcupine in the crook of my arm. My eyelids were heavy from a lazy haze and I thought:

If I could stay like this, trapped in time with a girl in my arms, the fullness of my belly, the fullness of the day, my head caught between waking and dreaming – shapeless little cloud above – then maybe that would be okay. Maybe, just maybe I could stop running so fast, I could stop worrying too hard, I could stop thinking too much.

If the Earth would be still for one second, I could make this work, couldn't I? I'd be happy, settled, and comfortable like this? If the breeze would stop tickling my nose for a minute, couldn't I bottle this up, and make it last a lifetime? If the world would stop spinning, wouldn't I no longer dream like man drowning?

If only the world would stop and give me a minute's rest.

Rest before I wake up.

Rest or wake up.

A/N:

I'm grateful for my co-pilot, faireyfan, for straightening me out and reminding me who I'm writing this for. In the meantime, writeontime continues to put up with my dash-lessness. She's also a busy lady, writing a brilliant story. Check out Breaking News if you haven't already.