Disclaimer: I don't own The Walking Dead. Some of the dialogue comes from the episode Seed.
The Girl I Love
By
D.B. Cooper
Chapter Six
Our New Home
We had been going for months, moving from house to house. Sometimes, we slept in our cars with one of us standing watch. I knew that it was dangerous. What if a herd came? We could very easily been overrun. A safe place, behind walls and locked in, that's what we needed. At one point, we spent three days in a barn.
While we were there, I laid down next to Beth in the hay and said, "Can I tell you something?"
She smiled and said, "Sure Carl, I'm your friend. You can tell me anything." Her breath smoked as she talked, it was the middle of winter and oh so cold.
I licked my lips and said, "Its my fault that Dale died."
Beth looked at me strangely and said, "How could that possibly be your fault Carl?"
Taking a deep breath I began, "I took Daryl's gun from the saddlebag on his motorcycle, my Browning. I knew that it was a wrong thing to do, but I did it anyway." Then everything came out in a rush. "I wanted to kill a walker. I found one in the swamps and tried to kill it. I couldn't do it. It got free and came at me. I fell down and almost got bit." I lowered my head trying to fight back tears. "The same walker killed Dale. Because I didn't do the right thing, he died. He was my friend and I let that happen to him!" My voice was broken and wet. "He was such a kind decent man and he isn't here anymore because I failed to kill that walker when I had the chance. I haven't told anyone else about this. He was my friend and I've been so ashamed." I turned around and started crying in earnest.
Beth reached over and pulled me to her. "Look at me Carl," I rolled back over, angry over the tears, angry about Dale's death, and angry for letting Beth see me like this. "Carl, there is no way for you to have been able to know that. I mean, everyone does things and make mistakes. You were just a boy then, you've grown up a lot these last few months. I've seen that and so has everyone else. My dad thinks well of you and you saved my life. Don't put yourself down because of past mistakes. Just do better in the future."
I nodded, still crying, and we went to sleep that way, in each other's arms. It felt so good just to lie there next to her and the heat from her body made me feel better. I took her advice and promised myself to do better in the future. I wouldn't let anything like Dale's death happen again. Even better, Beth had said that I was her friend.
I'm not sure what the date was, but winter had passed. I was still on the outs with mom and I talked to her as little as I could despite of my earlier promise to Beth. I had become a good deal closer to Beth. I knew that I loved her, but I hadn't said anything to her about it, yet.
Daryl, dad, T-Dog, and I breached a house and killed the walkers inside. My silenced Beretta made a phhhtt sound whenever I killed a walker. I like killing walkers. I wonder what it would be like to kill a person, like dad had when he killed Shane. The Beretta was my main gun at this point; I liked it better than my Browning. The silencer was easy to take off and put back on again.
After we got done searching the house to make sure it was safe, the others came in. I found two cans of dog food under the sink. Yes, score! I brought them to Beth and started to open them. We were settling in until T-Dog yelled, "Walkers!" Dad got up and in a fit of anger threw the dog food cans across the room. We couldn't stay here! We ran to the cars and left immediately. It was that or get surrounded.
A few hours later, we were trying to figure out where to go next. Dad put me put on point. From behind me, T-Dog suggested we swing around and go through a town we'd already been in. Then Dad and Daryl found the prison. I heard Daryl say, "It's a shame this place is over run. It would 'ave made a good home."
My dad saw it the other way. We could take this place! Dad cut a hole in the fence so we could get in. Then we closed it and took out all the walkers in the yard. It wasn't hard; we were all adept at killing walkers. I took the silencer off my Beretta, climbed to a guard tower with Hershel, and shot at least five by myself.
I saw Beth using her Vektor CP1 to kill a few from the fence. As always, I kept half an eye on Beth. I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. I knew she wasn't as good a warrior as myself or Daryl or Glenn.
Dad ran inside and closed the inner gate while we covered him. That night dad prowled around the fence repeatedly while we slept in the field. I listened to Beth sing.
Of all the money that e'er I had,
I spent it in good company.
And all the harm that e'er I've done,
Alas! It was to none but me.
And all I've done for want of wit
To memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all
About halfway through Maggie joined in. Their voices joined together and made the song better. I sat listening, entranced, hanging on to every word. Every few seconds, I'd take a bite of food, trying not to show how much I cared.
Of all the comrades that e'er I had
They're sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that ever I had
They'd wish me one more day to stay
But since it fell unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be to you all
I loved to listen to Beth sing. She sang like an angel. Her voice was clear and beautiful. What she sang about, it made me feel better and brought a little bit of joy into our lives. There was so much hardship here and bitterness. I could have listened to her sing constantly.
We managed to get into the actual prison fairly easily. The only walkers that gave us a problem were the ones with helmets on. I tried shooting one in the head but the bullet just bounced off. Glenn had to get that one.
Once we were inside, Beth went into a cell to make her own. I came in after her, and started to throw my stuff on the upper bunk. Hershel came in and asked me if I was looking for something. I stuttered and said, "I was just making sure Beth was okay." I was kind of upset not to share a room with Beth, but I'd be able to deal with it. I mean, I loved her, but if her dad needed to be close to her, that was fine. If Beth wanted to share a room with him that was okay, I respected Hershel and liked him a lot. He had saved my life when I was shot and I wouldn't soon forget it.
We were in cell block C. My dad, Glenn, Maggie, Daryl, T-Dog, and Hershel went into the prison to kill all the walkers. My job was doorman. Pretty simple, really just wait until they come back and open the door. I didn't mind it. I just stood by it, my hand on my Beretta, and waited for the others to get back. My dad told me that I might be the last man standing. I was prepared for it and knew what to do.