Hunger Strikes
By: Princess Ashley
AN: I own nothing.
Soooo… I actually got a flame on my last chapter. That's a first, but I suppose everyone needs at least one. I feel like I should address that one first, though, if that person is still reading…
Silea: I've never actually seen High School Musical, so I really can't make a case against it, but there's definitely not singing going on in this story. As for the reason for the relatively carefree nature of the first few chapters, I thought that going back to District 12 would be a bit of a carefree time for them before reality set in. Sort of a 'calm before the storm', if you will. Rest assured, it won't be like this the entire way through. I wouldn't be able to justify that. And her actions definitely WON'T go unpunished by the Capitol… just not this soon in story. And as for electricity… well I suppose the Victor's Village would be more adept at that kind of thing? I mean, it would hardly be luxurious if it didn't have electricity or computers or anything of the such. And the card's there as an asset of money… I'm sure that they would want to buy things outside of District 12. It's not like they can't travel… it's kind of a wait and see kind of thing right now. I can't incorporate everything into the first five chapters. I'm kind of aiming at dragging this out. So, thanks for the input, but I think some of the thoughts were a little premature. Keep reading, if you want. You'll see.
Lost in Believing: I know. Woe is me. Lol
PeetaKatniss: That sucks. I wanna read the whole thing, dang it! Yes, I was trying to be a bit more like me, but trying to keep it real at the same time. It's a little more interesting writing it when I can incorporate my own stuff in there as well. =)
Trina Mason: Thank you. You're becoming my beta reader, it seems. Lol. Like I included in the note, it was a little break from all seriousness, just because keeping the drama is a bit nerve wracking for me. But fanfiction is good practice for me. I'm an English major, so I need some sort of outreach going on. Glad your still reading!
Zenykat: I really didn't think I needed to include that part in those scenes… I haven't forgotten about it, I just didn't think it was necessary to bring it in there. Oh well. Haha, I might be really weird for saying this, but there is something hot about a mechanical limb….it might be just Luke Skywalker though in the Third Star Wars Movie…. Lol.
Thanks everyone for all of your feedback!!
Six: The Capitol Ruins Lives
I run through the wilderness outside of District 12. The trees are whipping around me and my leather-clad feet break the leaves on the forest floor. I'm running out of breath. I want to stop, but the wizzing sounds behind me are gaining on me.
I peer over my shoulder. Hovercrafts as far as the eye can see zoom towards me, and silhouettes rise out of them, but I see nothing but narrowed red eyes and snarling white teeth.
I stare forward again, and then come to a complete stop.
Flowers. A poppy field lies before me, and suddenly I feel calm and relaxed. I see faces in the field; smiling faces.
Rue. She beams at me, holding a bouquet of flowers, gesturing me forward. Beside her stands…
The boy from District One. His smile glitters with the sunset behind him. Has he forgotten that I am the one that killed him? Thresh stands behind Rue, with a hand on her shoulder. His face isn't the tense scowl that I'm used to seeing. It's soft, and his lips relax his face into an almost thoughtful look. He stares directly at me.
I hear laughter coming from my right. I gasp as more familiar faces appear before me.
Glimmer. Beautiful Glimmer with her long flowing blonde locks and startling green eyes that glow even from a distance. She sits in the field with others from the Districts. They sit and laugh together, as if they were never put in an arena to kill each other. Clove, Foxface, the boy I fought for the pack, the girl who made the fire, and the rest sit in a circle. A second later, Rue, Thresh, and the District One boy go to sit with them.
Even Cato lies on his back, slightly away from the rest of them. His eyes stare into the purple sky.
And Peeta makes them laugh as he jokes with the group, with one arm slung around Rue.
I make a move to join them, but suddenly the hovercrafts swarm around me. I hear the hoots and cries and chatter of a crowd around me, but I see nothing. I try to call for help, but my cries are silent, and the roar of the invisible crowd shields their ears. They don't even seem to see me. Then they all collapse, their eyes falling closed, and they are buried beneath the blossoms; a perfect graveyard of flowers.
And the crowd goes wild.
When I finally wake, my sheets are covered in sweat. My breath comes in quick gasps and I glance at the clock next to my bed.
3:48 A.M.
I lean back against the comfort of my pillows, and try to catch my breath. The dream had been vivid, and the faces that have haunted me since I left the arena swarm around in my mind. Cato, Rue, Thresh, Glimmer, Foxface, Clove… Peeta….
They look happy. I hope they are happy. The hell that is Panem would hardly be worth it if we didn't end up happy. If we're miserable in the afterlife as well, what's the point in sticking it out in this place? Even if you have a comfortable home and plenty of food and money to do with what you wish? Is it really worth the sacrifices you have to make to acquire it?
I sigh. No, it's really not. I had been happy to hunt for my food, living in the ignorance of what it really takes to survive. I could have hunted with Gale and provided for my family till the end of my days, and never regretted a second of it.
But the Capitol has it's way of complicating things.
I hear a knock on my door. I frown. Who could possibly be up this early?
"Come in?" I whisper, unsure.
The door opens, and a small figure slips in.
Prim.
She walks softly to my bed, her small frame clad in a long white tunic that falls to her knees. Her eyes glow in the light that shines from my window.
I move over to one side of the bed as she climbs under the covers, pulling them close around her face as she peers at me through her blonde bangs.
"Were you having another nightmare?" she asks. "I heard you gasping."
I nod. "They're nice at times. But when I wake and think about them, I realize that they really are nightmares." I try to explain, but Prim frowns.
"I don't understand."
I sigh, and turn onto my back.
"Tell me about them." She asks.
I hadn't told anyone about my nightmares, but Prim sleeps in the room next to me. I'm sure she can hear me when I cry out in my sleep. This is the first she's asked about them though.
"You know the hovercrafts that the Capitol has?" I ask, and I feel her nod beside me. "They chase me through the forest where Gale and I used to hunt. But there are so many of them, they blacken the sky." I re-account the tributes in the poppy field, happy and relaxed. "Maybe I see them in heaven. Maybe the poppy field is heaven, and all of them are happy." I say.
"Why would Peeta be there?" asks Prim.
I shrug. "I don't know."
"What did you do, Katniss?"
My eyes narrow. "What do you mean?"
"What did you do to make the Capitol chase you?"
My heart pounds in my chest. I feel sick to my stomach, and a sweat breaks on my forehead. She watches me with concern in her eyes. Sometimes I forget how smart she can be, even through her innocence.
"I buried Rue in flowers." I whisper. "I made the death of a tribute more real and less like the mere losing of a game." Prim says nothing. "I gave Peeta the berries that would kill us. If we would have taken them, then I would have deprived the Capitol of having a winner. The crowd would have protested, and the Capitol would have been ridiculed for their failure to satiate the people's entertainment." I grind out the last bit. "I would have deprived the Capitol of its control over us. For the moment, I had the control."
Prim sniffs next to me. "What are they going to do to you?"
I look turn look at her, and see tears glittering in her eyes. "I don't know. If they chose to do anything, it will be during the tour." I guess.
Prim grasps my hand under the covers, entwining our fingers. "Don't go Katniss. You can't go. They can't make you go." She stumbles over her words.
I smile at her. "Yes, they can. But please don't worry. If I don't give them any more reasons to doubt my intentions, they won't do anything against me. They won't be able to justify that." I hope.
Prim's tears make me feel bad. But I only have one more night in my house. Tomorrow I'll be gone, and she won't hear my nightmares anymore. All she'll see is my smiling face on TV.
***
Once again, I find myself in my room running a brush through my hair. The clothes that Cinna sent me fill up my closet completely. They're still incased in the plastic, and the wooden boxes that he sent lie stacked on the floor.
My mother and Prim had gone through the clothes the day before. They 'ooh' and 'ah' over the garments, but I don't seem to be able to muster up enough excitement to join them now as they picked out the clothes they wanted me to pack.
"I loved the clothes they gave you while you were in the games, Katniss!" Prim cries.
She had fallen back to sleep quickly enough after our talk in the early morning. She sends me grave glances when she thinks I'm not looking, but she tries to keep the mood light. I suspect she does this for my benefit, but she should never have to keep strong for me. I'm the one that needs to be strong for her.
She holds up one of the garments to her torso. The top looks to be made of the same material as the dress that Cinna gave me the day after the Games, when he wanted to make me look as innocent as possible. It seems I'll be sticking to that image while on the road. "Can I try this on?" She asks.
"Go ahead. It'll probably look a lot better on you than me." I say, and I know it's probably true.
My mother is muttering to herself about the proper way to pack the clothes without wrinkling them.
Cinna hasn't left us without instructions, however. He included a card on one of the boxes; a letter to me.
Katniss,
You'll find all the clothes that I have picked out for you during the tour in the boxes. The boxes each have numbers on them for what you'll wear during the interviews and press conferences at each of the Districts. I wanted to send them to you initially so that you can try them on. No doubt you've put on a least a little weight since you've arrived home.
There will be some time when you arrive at the Capitol on Sunday for us to alter them a little bit, but hopefully just about everything fits well.
The clothes in the plastic are for you, however. There is time in between the conferences at each of the Districts for exploring. You can pick whatever you wish to bring with you. But the clothes in the boxes are not to be moved from the boxes unless you are trying them on. These clothes wrinkle very easily. Try to keep them tidy.
If there is anything else you should need, please do not hesitate to call on me. The number is 0-09-2274865.
Remember: The tough part is over, but for now, please tread carefully. Don't provide any material the Capitol can use against you.
Good luck my girl on fire.
-Cinna
I smiled at the endearment when I read it, and I really can't wait to see Cinna. But it wasn't long after I finished the letter than the truth began to set in.
By this time tomorrow, I'll be on a train back to Capitol. I'll be back on a pedestal, watching my back every day for the next month to come. The brief bliss that I had experienced when I arrived home at not having to face the cameras and keep up my innocent façade started to fade away. Now here I am, running a brush through my hair, watching my family laugh and flaunt my new clothes that remind of all the reasons that I have to fake who I am. That I've put myself in danger for the few moments where I felt that I was above the Capitol, proving to them that they didn't own me.
"Oh, you must take this one, Katniss." My mother waves another top to my attention. "I think this will look so flattering on you." An innocent white flowing tunic with a fitted empire waistline shimmering with pearls flutters into my view. I figure that all the clothes that Cinna sent me would be about the same. Light colors, nothing too ostentatious, nothing horribly clingy, and all designed to make me look like an innocent little girl.
I wonder what Peeta's angle will be, and then I remember that Peeta doesn't need an angle. Peeta committed no crime against the Capitol. He was the star-crossed lover that fell under the spell of the rebellious Katniss. I thank Peeta for keeping me protected this long. If he had died in the arena, I might not even be here to talk. The Capitol might have done away with me the moment Peeta swallowed. I gulp.
Peeta left not long after his exchange with Prim. I don't know one person that has met Prim and not liked her immediately. Peeta had fallen under her spell just as easily as everyone else. My sweet little lamb of a sister.
I watch her twirl around in another one of my outfits. A cream-colored layered skirt with a sleeveless silver top that shimmers as she spins and her eyes sparkle with laughter. It strikes me that this is the image that I need to achieve to throw off my critics. Prim embodies the sweet smiles, the soft laughter, the playful innocence, and gentle nature that I have had so much trouble achieving. I shake my head at the irony that I actually need to take lessons from Prim on survival.
I smile suddenly. Maybe this will be okay. Maybe I can pull this off.
"Katniss, you'd better try this on. You might have put on some pounds since those people last took your measurements."
I raise my brow and look down at myself. I hadn't put on much weight. I acknowledge that I've begun to fill out slightly as a result of a week of plenty to eat, but I don't think I've gone up a size, by any means.
Nevertheless, I become my mother's doll for the afternoon she spends packing me up. The cases that Cinna sent with the clothes are perfect for keeping the clothes wrinkle free, and my mother sets aside an outfit for me to travel in tomorrow: A white sleeveless top with a cream-colored billowy skirt that falls almost to my ankles. Once again… innocent.
By the evening, everything is perfectly packed and waiting in the front room that we call a dining room, but we haven't used it yet. The wooden boxes are stacked and the cases with all the rest of my clothes lie beside them.
Gale arrives around seven after we eat. His smaller siblings immediately take to the television with Prim to watch some show that seems to amuse them. They giggle loudly at the flashing screen while my mother settles on one of the couches to watch over them.
Gale glances at me. I smile and lead him outside to the patio. The sun sets behind the trees in the wilderness, and paper lanterns light the path through the forest. It's an almost romantic sight, but I feel awkward with Gale standing beside me. He doesn't look awkward though, so maybe it's only me that notices.
He breathes deeply beside me. It's not a happy sigh. It's a tense one. "Feel like taking a walk?" He asks, but he's already heading towards the forest. I follow behind him as he starts down the lit pathway.
His feet crunch the leaves on the ground.
"You're leaving tomorrow." He says, and I nod, unsure what else to say. His eyes look forward.
"You know, there's something I feel like I should tell you…" He trails off.
I look at him, but he keeps his eyes forward. His jaw is tense.
"I told you that I thought we'd be able to make it, you know, on our own? If we were to ever get out of here?" He continues. I nod, unsure where this is going.
"Well, I know you haven't been in town for a while… but things are getting better." He looks at me with a mysterious intensity. "People have food now, Katniss. They haven't had hope like this sense Haymitch. It helps that two tributes won the same year." We're nearing one of the other houses in the quad. The lights are dark due to the lack of inhabitants. I wonder if my own house looked that looming and decrepit before we moved into it.
"You studied economics. The Capitol keeps sending food to fill the stores, the prices are going down, people can actually afford to buy the food and the bakery bread now." I had wondered if the baker would keep his job at the bakery, even though the family no longer needs the money. I suspected he would keep it because even though Peeta would never dream of kicking his family out, even though I wish he would do something about his mother, Mr. Mellark wouldn't want to rely on his son for his own well-being.
"But that comes with consequences for people like us." Gale continues. "I caught several hares the other day but I could hardly find any buyers. They can afford better meat than what we hunt." He stops to look at me.
Of course. No one would want starving hares when they could afford go to the store to buy a honey-baked ham.
"The second my mom gets out of her stupor, she's going to send me into the mines, Katniss. This was my last year to be able to go into the Hunger Games. I don't qualify for the tesserae anymore. Soon people will not need to buy game from me. It's getting better for almost everyone except those who don't have jobs."
Another reason the Games ruin lives, even those lives that didn't get thrown into the arena. Poor Gale will have to work in the mines just like the rest of the able-bodied men in District 12. My heart clenches at the thought of handsome, strong, funny Gale coughing and sweltering below ground as charcoal and dust invades his lungs and blackens his skin.
I wish I could ask Gale to just live with my family and I, and never have another worry or care, but he would never. He cares too much about his siblings to leave them.
"I'd do anything for my family, Katniss. But I can't go into the mines." His determined voice startles me. His eyes are hard and his fists are clenched as he begins to trudge through the wilderness again. "It's easy for that low-life to send me down into the ground without a care but if something were to happen to me like what happened to my father" my own jaw clenches now, "then there will be nothing for them. They'll starve while the rest of the District feasts."
That's going overboard, but it's relatively true.
"I have to leave here, Katniss."
My eyes widen after that declaration. Was I wrong about the extent of what Gale would do to help his family survive?
"Easy, Catnip." He says when he sees my expression. "Not now. Maybe not even for a while. But I'm going to leave here. Sooner or later."
I don't know what to say. Gale… leaving? A life without Gale seemed next to impossible. How would I live without Gale making me laugh, giving me advice, being my rock, my…
Oh, God. Not again.
"It's nothing you need to worry about right now, Catnip." He places his hands on my shoulders, misinterpreting the flood of thoughts running through my head. I feel sick, like I'm digesting month old meat that's been laying in the sun; like I've been picked to be thrown into the Hunger Games once again. I fight to keep my dinner down.
"KATNISS!" He shakes me out of my revere.
I blink, his eyes are right in front of me. I had fallen so quickly for Peeta's words the other day… spent a day with him, feeling more carefree than I ever was. Gale's here now, bringing me back to a reality that I don't want to be in. A reality that I've lived in for my whole life. The reality that I would never be able to survive in without him.
Suddenly I wish I'd swallowed those berries. I long for that day like longing for water in a drought.
"Where will you go?" I gasp out. I'd done a good job at keeping my tears to a minimum lately. I don't know how I'll hold up this time.
"I don't know. It's not like I'm useless." He needlessly defends himself. He seems almost offended that I'm worried about him. "I could find something to do. I've been researching different Districts that need stronger guys. Even the Capitol needs guys that can move things. I'm not opposed to manual labor, you know. I won't be one of those big moneymakers or anything frivolous. But there's got to be something better out there than working in these blasted mines."
I agree with no frivolity. I can't picture Gale as one of those big-shot Capitol boys with purple hair and make-up. Suddenly I have a dreadful image of Gale and Caesar Flickerman standing side-by-side with power-blue hair and matching suits. I shake my head. No good.
"I'm just saying… I'll find something. But I'll need your help."
I raise a brow at him. Why on earth would he need my help?
He qualifies when he sees my doubtful look. "I mean, you have connections in the Capitol now." I scoff, and he frowns at me. "I just need to talk to someone who would know what kind of things they're looking for around there, you know?"
"Why don't you run naked across the Districts screaming 'The Capitol Can Eat My Trousers'? They can cut your tongue out and you'll be a good little Avox boy for the rest of your life, waiting on tributes. They seem pretty well taken care of." I'm not sure why I'm giving him a hard time, but the scathing remark leaves my mouth before I can stop it. I'm almost insulted that after all his remarks about how much he hates the Capitol that he would even consider going and working for them.
He sighs at me. "I knew you would be difficult."
"Why do you want to work for the Capitol? There are other things to do around here besides work in the mines—"
"Like what? I'm open to suggestions." He folds his arms over his chest.
I really don't need this right before I leave to my death for a second time.
"I don't know, Gale, okay? But there are rules against leaving your District! You can't just…. Move!" I cry at him. Am I being selfish if I tell him that I don't want him to leave me?
"I know there's paperwork involved, but I'll cross that road when I get to it. Do you really think I can stay here though? If I go to the mines, that's it. That's all I'll ever be. A miner, like every other guy in this place. It's what everyone expects me to be! I might as well sign my own death warrant and tell them to blow me up! I'm not you, Catnip! I don't have the rest of my life set for me! I don't know if I'll be able to eat in a week, or if I'll even be alive in a week. They could catch me hunting" he lowers his voice to an almost whisper "and I could be dead. I can't live like this forever." He finishes, his voice hard and his eyes boring into mine.
I already know all of this. I might have once thought that Gale and I could have spent forever hunting and foraging together in the woods and been perfectly happy. But the Hunger Games threw in a whole bunch of other variables that I hadn't accounted for before.
Damn the Capitol. I want to scream it from the mountaintops.
"I almost wish I could go to the Capitol with you, just to get a feel for what I'm up against."
I almost wish I could kick him. I might if I knew he wouldn't kick me back, and harder.
"Are you allowed to bring someone with you?" He asks suddenly, his eyes alight. "Have they told you anything?"
"I suppose I could stick you in one of my dress boxes, but you have to promise not to wrinkle them." I mumble, not being serious at all. It's actually a stupid suggestion because no human being could fit into one of those boxes, unless they had the circumference of a pencil.
He glares at me. I sigh. "I don't think so Gale. Haymitch didn't really say anything about what I'm allowed to do during the tour. He was busy giving me a run down on all the things I'm not allowed to do. Don't speak about the Capitol, unless it's to give compliments. Don't talk to the Capitol officials unless they ask you something first. Don't look at the Capitol officials unless you have a huge innocent smile on your face. Don't even think about the Capitol in a less than friendly manner. You never know, they might be able to read minds." I ramble on, trying to turn him off.
It's not working. His face just gets more contemplative as I go along.
"Oh, would you look at that! We're at Peeta's house!" I cry in relief. Maybe I'll be able to take his attention elsewhere. I could use a dose of Peeta's humor to make me feel less like I'm falling apart.
But Gale's not looking at Peeta's house. He's looking at the mansion next to Peeta's. Haymitch's.
No.
"I wonder…"
I wish he wouldn't.
"Katniss!"
I turn to see Peeta at his back door, staring at Gale and I. Gale looks at Peeta briefly, before turning his head back towards Haymitch's house.
Peeta walks towards us, a somewhat delighted look on his face.
"What are you guys doing back here?" He asks. He nods at Gale, his smile still in place. It doesn't look forced at all. Neither does the one that Gale answers back with.
"We were taking a walk. I've never been through this whole path before. It's a healthy walk, you know. Lots of… nature…" I trail off. Gale and Peeta have odd looks on their faces as they gaze at me.
My eyes narrow. I hate them.
"So, you all ready to leave tomorrow?"
Gale starts up a conversation with Peeta like I'm not here. I'm silently pleading with him to stay silent about the whole 'leaving' thing.
Peeta nods and explains how his mother made him try on every outfit and then consulted with a few of her friends before giving the thumbs up or down on each one. I'm appalled that the woman actually has friends.
Gale and Peeta are laughing about the antics of the women, and stuff only boys would be able to relate to.
The difference between them is astounding. Gale with his ivory skin, dark hair and stormy grey eyes; Peeta with his tanner complexion, ashy blonde hair, and bellflower blue eyes. Like night and day, those two.
"He didn't say anything about it. I mean, as far as I know, the stylists are the only ones that are accompanying us on the trip. Even Haymitch isn't coming."
Stupid Gale. He had to say something to Peeta.
Gale frowns, but doesn't look quite as defeated as I'd hoped. This is Gale. I tell myself. If he wants something, he'll find a way to get it.
But this is far from setting up snares in the forest to get food for supper. This is escaping from District 12, going against the Capitol. This is getting up to my level with the berries stunt.
I shutter to think my scenario with Gale ending up as an Avox boy might come true. Tears almost escape, but I stifle them while Peeta and Gale continue to talk. Gale asks questions about the Capitol, and Peeta gives better answers than I can. He was actually paying attention during that time.
I wander up to Peeta's porch. The pool behind Peeta's house glitters in the lights, reflecting the beautiful clear blue sky above. I take a seat in a chair, and lay back all the way, folding my hands over my stomach.
No matter how I manage to relax, like clockwork, something comes up that makes me sick again.
***
Edited: 11/19/08
Anyone else going to see Twilight this Friday? =) Midnight showing BABEH!!