When Carlisle first stepped into the room I was shocked, thrilled but I felt queasy. And then it dawned on me. The crash. I had hit a silver Volvo. What if it was his?

Carlisle soon reassured me and I could help but feel happy with Carlisle back.

I must admit when he told me I couldn't have any more medicine that ache in my chest felt ten timed worse. Like it wasn't me that relied on the medicine but the ache. Of course I knew better. Of course I just wanted to sit there and ask Carlisle everything he knew about. Well about him. But Carlisle had told me I needed to go upstairs and rest in my own bed.

I wasn't sure how I felt about Carlisle 'babysitting' me. But I couldn't fight against the idea. Because just the thought of a vampire in the house made me feel - almost - better.

I woke up the next morning and instinctively reached for my pills.

'Crap' I cursed as I fell off the bed into a heap on the floor. Carlisle was in my room within seconds. He stood in the door watching me and he looked perfect.

'Are you okay?' he asked a small smile playing around on his lips.

'Fine' I hissed standing up shakily.

'Why don't we get you breakfast?' he asked.

'Elk or Mountain Lion?' I muttered sarcastically.

'Bella please' he said, his smile fading.

'Please what' I screamed at him 'say sorry for lashing out at you. The man who let his son break my heart in the middle of the woods. Say sorry for lashing out at when you moved your whole family - my boyfriend and best friend - spare of the moment. I found out when the La Push kids found me and started talking about 'the Cullen's' moving to LA.'

'He said he didn't love?' asked Carlisle with a growl. I nodded quietly as I realized tears were streaming down my face.

'You have to understand Bella, none of hurt you intentionally. We didn't want you to end up like this, we didn't want your heart to be broken' he sighed 'what Edward did was inexcusable and I have to apologize on behalf of my family for what he has put you through.'

I started to feel woozy and when I tried to smile Carlisle saw right through it.

'Bella lie down and I'll get you some breakfast.'

'I'm not hungry' I said crossing my arms over my chest and sitting on the bed. I was stubborn and I was not letting in to this vampire, no matter how gorgeous his eyes were. How coaxing his voice was.

Snap out of it Bella I practically screamed at myself.

'Well if you don't eat you don't gain weight' he said 'and if you don't gain weight you won't be able to call Alice.'

He had me there.

'Just something small please' I murmured in a small voice.

'Of course Bella' he said before walking out my room and closing the door. I sighed and walked over to my closet pulling on a pair of track suit pants and long sleeve tee shirt. Noticing how the clothes barely fitted me anymore. I heard to phone ring downstairs and Carlisle picked it up. As I was momentarily distracted I wasn't watching where I was walking a tripped on the loose floor board. I shifted around on the floor and I was able to see what was in there. I gasped and I could feel tears slipping down my cheeks as I saw what it was. My music, my pictures, my tickets to Jacksonville. Everything he ever gave me. I picked up the picture of me and him and fingered it lightly as my body became wrecked with sobs.

'Bella' said Carlisle as he walked into the room.

'Oh no' he murmured, looking at the mess around me.

'I'm sorry' I whispered looking up at him.

'Bella don't be silly this is hardly your fault' he said sitting down next to me.

'When's Ch-Dad?' coming back I asked.

'He had to work a couple more days Bella' he said picking up the picture I was holding in my hand.

'How about we call Alice?' he asked as his mobile rang.

'Hello Alice' he answered and I giggled through my tears.

'Here she is' said Carlisle handing me the phone.

'Oh Bella' she gushed 'I'm so sorry for leaving you and I tried not to see visions of you really. Oh if only I had seen this. I love you really. It was stupid Edward' she growled at this 'but I swear Bella I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm booking flights now, well Jasper is. And I had the most amazing vision you're never going to believe it…'

'That's quite enough Alice' said Carlisle. He started talking too fast for me to catch on and then suddenly Alice was talking in my ear.

'What a party pooper her is' I assumed she was referring to Carlisle, I giggled and he smiled.

'Well don't you worry Bella because Jasper is currently looking up flight out of this horrid place. So far he has on for in three weeks. That's on long, but the private jet isn't working. And Carlisle won't let us use it. But I'll be there soon, and in the mean time you need to get better for me, gain some pounds. I would prefer it if you got over a hundred, but I guess the closer the better' she ended this with a satisfied sigh.

'I miss you Alice' I whispered.

'I know you do honey' she said back 'but I promise I'll be there as soon as I can, with Jazz and Esme.'

'Okay' I whispered back.

'Goodbye' she said in her chirpy voice before hanging up.

'Will you be alright if I go out for half an hour' he asked me. I nodded and looked down.

What's wrong' he asked.

'I don't want to leave' I admitted and he smiled.

'I'll go when Charlie comes back from work then' he said grabbing him from my out stretched hand.

'Bella tell me what you like doing' he said after a couple moments of silence.

'I like to read' I said looking down and then back up to the stack of books on my desk. I hadn't had the chance to read.

'Have you read all of them?' he asked looking at where I was looking.

'No' I replied 'I haven't had the chance.'

'Well what book is your favorite?' he asked.

'Wuthering heights' I replied and he smiled widely.

'You're in luck, I just so happen to know that book off my heart' I looked up at him and smiled brightly.

'I'm up to the part where Heathcliff is coming with Joseph' I explained. He smiled and started of reciting the book. As his velvet voice held me into a trance he lifted me into my bed and I was soon asleep.

The next three weeks had gone, well. I looked up to Carlisle in more way then I thought possible. Even Charlie had become Carlisle's friend. Much to my amusement they even went fishing together. Carlisle read to me every night. He finished Wuthering heights and started on Little Woman. I had never read it and he thought I'd enjoy it. Which I did immensely so.

Angela didn't need to come over anymore to help me shower, which relieved us both. But she still came over anyway. Carlisle now tutored me and Angela was the friend I needed. Carlisle had come home one night with a box. He called it my Edward box. He told me to put everything Edward related, including the blue blouse he loved on me. And to store it in the box. Much to my surprise I felt better about this. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

The worst thing had been staying off the drugs. After a week or so I couldn't eat anything because I would vomit it up. So instead of gaining weight like I had promised I now weighed 94.6 pounds and Carlisle was not happy. So every day at lunch he would come with McDonalds or Fish and Chips. Anything greasy and fattening. But of course I would just vomit it up. I saw the pity in both Charlie and Angela eyes. But there was something more in Carlisle's. It was like he thought it was his fault, which it wasn't of course.

'Bella' said Carlisle pulling me out of my thoughts.

'Oh sorry' I said looking up at him, I smiled when I saw him laughing.

'A penny for your thoughts?' he asked. I shook my head and he sighed.

'Well you can at least eat' he murmured using his hand to point to the food on his tray.

'I'm not hungry' I replied looking at the McDonalds.

'Nonsense' he said picking up some fries. He made the sound of an airplane as he brang them in a flying motion towards my mouth. I giggled and I was giggled he slipped them into my mouth. He looked relieved as I chewed on them and he did it again for a few more mouth full's until I ate them myself.

'We should get going' said Carlisle smiling and nodding towards the terminal.

'I guess' I said looking down at my clothes. I was wearing a blue blouse that Carlisle had gotten me because most of my clothes no longer fitted me. My jeans were baggy and I was wearing mary janes underneath them. Hopefully Alice would approve.

'Bella you look perfect' he said smiling.

J/POV

(J/POV=Jasper POV. JB/POV=Jacob POV)

We walked out of the terminal I was hit with waves of excitement from Alice and Esme. Alice held onto to my hand tightly as she skipped to find Bella. She suddenly stopped and looked up and me back to the spot she was looking at when she had stopped. Carlisle was standing there looking at Bella. She was clinging onto his side. Her face pale with a slight red tinge from her constant blushing. Her weight loose was evident, she had to be under a hundred pounds. Pain was flying off her, so much I almost wanted grimace. She looked up at Carlisle, wanting approval of sorts. When he nodded she smiled timidly before Carlisle stepped in front of her. Relief washed through her as he started walking forward.

'My visions are always right' she Alice smiling widely.

B/POV

We walked forward, and I hid behind Carlisle's back. I don't know why but he gave me that certain protection that I needed. I felt safe and comfortable behind him, rather than stepping forth and being out in the open.

'Esme' said Carlisle smiling widely. I felt jealous when I saw them hug like that. And even more jealous when I saw that Esme still wore her wedding ring. Jasper looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I turned red looking down to the ground. I had no right to be jealous really.

'Oh Bella' said Esme walking up to me and placing her hands on my shoulders.

'I'm so sorry about this really' she said pulling me into a hug.

'It's okay' I said timidly.

'It's really not' said Esme, 'why else do you think we sent him to boarding school. Serves him right to.'

Jasper growled at this and I smiled at him. He smiled back.

'Where's Alice?' I asked looking around.

'I'm here' she said popping up from behind Jasper. She smiled as I smiled and grabbed me into a huge hug.

'We have so much to catch up Bella' she started 'and your promised you'd gain weight what happened with that? We'll work on that, alright?' I nodded and she laughed. I really did miss her.

'We should go shopping soon too, nice blouse by the way' she piped in looking at Carlisle. I laughed again but also looked at Carlisle.

'Charlie's going to be home early tonight' I said to him 'and we haven't made dinner.'

'Alright let's get you home' he said putting his hand on the small of my back. On the drive home I sat in the passenger seat next to Carlisle. They were all eagerly talking, well catching up with one another and I just sat back and listened unless I was asked a question. When we finally got home Charlie wasn't home. Everyone came into the house and sat at the dining table while me and Carlisle cooked dinner for Charlie and myself. When Charlie did come home and looked like he was about to pass out when he saw all of us, including the newly arrived Angela. Of course he took a few minutes to start questioning them all, which thankfully was the time Carlisle had decided to take me to my room.

'How are you feeling?' he asked as I picked out the pajama's I was going to wear.

'I feel overwhelmed' I admitted biting my lip.

'And why would that be?' he asked.

'Well Charlie took a liking to the, Angela fits in perfectly. I feel kind of happy. But then I feel bad because I shouldn't be happy. Because he's not here. And that's not right.'

'Bella you are allowed to feel happy' he said putting a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

'I know but it doesn't feel right when I am' I replied 'there's something missing and I just don't like it.' By the end of this I was screaming. I had stood up.

'It's not fair, what the hell did I ever do to him' I kicked the wardrobe with so much force it feel to the ground and I feel backwards against the way. I started crying and I huddled against the wall.

C/POV

As soon as I saw her break down I instantly felt relief, this was good. She was admitting to her feelings. But I felt terrible. Terrible that she felt so horrible for feeling happy. That wasn't right and all we had was Edward to blame. It was horrible seeing her like this. Knowing that she is so unhappy, because she felt happy for just a small moment.

SORRY SORRY SORRY, this is like semi unfinished. But I'm going away and felt terrible leaving you all without a chapter. SO IT'S CHRISTMAS AND I BELIEVE THERE'S SOME TWILIGHT THINGS UNDERNEATH THE TREE, WOOP WOOP (:

happy holidays everyone. my next chapter will be up in 2010. and very early in 2010 at that. i will be away for seven days, back for seven and then away for seven. i'll try and get an update when I come back but i may not be able to :(

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,

Au Revoir Ashleigh. xx.